Why Even Conservatives Don't Deserve America

Though I wrote the book "Enjoy the Decline," my 37 years of life previous to its authoring still left some semblance, some nagging ounce of hope, and love for this country.  That perhaps, through spectacular luck and unseen natural economic and political forces, the country would wake up, vote against the state, and pursue a new path towards freedom, liberty, and greatness.  Of course, I have no genetic skin in the country's future game, but still, it was a dormant hope that kept popping up, and one that (though appreciated) I still managed to keep in check.

Sadly, that hope is now officially gone as I've realized even the majority of conservatives do not deserve America.

This final nail in the coffin came in the form of a new podcast I was listening to over my Memorial Day travels.  It was clever, it was intelligent, it was libertarian, it had 35,000 subscribers.  And so I was hopeful I could run some ads for my own books on their show resulting in a mutually beneficial arrangement.  Of course, when the segment came up where they'd normally run advertising, they did the most non-conservative, non-capitalist, 100% NPR thing - they asked for donations.  This then sent me into a tirade as not only were my hopes at future profit and a better life dashed, but this was just one more of the many "conservative, libertarian, pro-freedom, pro-capitalist" social media sites that proved to be only capitalist in theory.

This experience then reminded me of the exhausting, wasteful, pointless, and sometimes outright costly experiences I've had doing business with effectively "not liberals."

When I was on my "Worthless" book tour I was sponsored by a young conservative college group.  I took a full week of vacation and a week of leave of absence to tour the country, giving a speech about the risks of majoring in worthless subjects.  Hoping this would prove mutually beneficial (I would profit, young college students would invest wisely in their education), I was instead greeted by impossibly inept republican, conservative, or libertarian college students which made the entire tour a waste.

They'd only book the room for 15 minutes, while the speech was an hour.
They forgot to bring an LCD projector, and one time chairs.
Some conservative college groups failed to advertise the speech altogether, and thus...
We'd have a whopping 3-4 people in the audience if anybody showed up at all.

Then there was the two speeches I gave to the MN GOP and Tea Party.  Thinking these were wiser, older, more mature people, I expected we would not endure the same youth-caused logistical problems that plagued my book tour.  Which we didn't.  We did, however, get to deal with a whole new problem. It fell on deaf ears.

Not that the speech wasn't good.  Not that the audience didn't love it (they did).  But the whole point of the speech was how to get young men interested in conservative politics.  At best, both audiences had 20 years left of life expectancy, and they wanted to bring new blood into the GOP.  And after delivering a rousing speech, which clearly and cleverly laid out a brilliant strategy to do this....nothing.  Not a single thing.

No call.
No inquiry.
No follow up.

I even called MULTIPLE chapters of the GOP to volunteer only to NEVER have a single call returned.  I even attended the republican caucus HANDING MY CARD TO THE INTERIM CHAIR, EXPLICITLY STATING I'D LIKE TO HELP only to once again, never hear back.  It became apparent to me that this ineptitude and laziness is so rife and complete within the republican party, that its presumed most ardent cheerleaders don't even care about freedom enough to expend the 2 calories of energy it takes to call people back.

Then there's boycotting.  Boycotting is very simple to me.  If you as a company, an actor, or some other agent in the US is/are going to advocate an action that lessens my freedom and life, I'm not going to give you any of my business, money, or time.  I don't buy Apple.  I don't shop at Target.  I don't buy Starbucks. I don't bank at any bank that took TARP money.  And I'd Napster U2's music (if I wanted to listen to very bland, very beige, baby boomer tripe).

But oh no, that's too much of an inconvenience for 95% of the conservatives in America.  They will line up for every Leonardo DiCaprio movie, get their daily starbucks, fork over their children's college fund for the newest iPhone, bank at Bank of America, and will support communism directly by getting gas at Citgo.  Of course, the hypocrisy is if the 50% of the American public (which is presumably conservative) were to all cut off these agent whores of socialism, then there'd be more REAL change overnight than there was during Reagan's entire administration.  But that's just too inconvenient to drive the 5 minutes down to Dunn Brothers, the 6 minutes down to Wal-Mart, and geez, we SWPL republican suburbanites just can't let the neighbors see us with a Samsung!

Then there's my personal experiences with so called "capitalists" in my own life. Related to my frustration over the "non-profit capitalist" podcast that didn't run ads, most conservatives, libertarians, capitalists and free marketers I've meet in my life just lack the hustle and desire to achieve excellence.  They just plain lack the work ethic and hunger it takes to push themselves, and thus as a group, society to new levels of success, innovation, achievement, and accomplishment.  And so when I try to employ them, either through contract work, reaching out to them to conduct business, or perhaps offering them money outright, the responses I get are...

never calling me back,
6 month delays,
lethargy,
a completely lack of hustle,
a cluelessness about the opportunity that is being wasted,
no appreciation for the insane value of time,
no appreciation for the potential of profit,
shoddy work, or
no work at all

They, like the aforementioned podcast, are merely academian, theoretician, Monday morning quarterback capitalists.  They like to claim they are, but never put forth the effort to become actual capitalists.

This, among other things, has forced me to conclude that the majority of conservatives (not all) are very much like most liberals and leftists.  They view politics and economics not as the key to unlock and unleash the total potential of human kind, allowing us to drastically improve the lives of future generations, and achieve untold levels of greatness in our own.  They view it as a religion, a therapy session, and a substitute for real and genuine accomplishment in life because they're too damn lazy to put any real work or effort into it.  This is why after 40 years of Rush Limbaugh and 35 years of conservative talk radio, nothing has been achieved because, just like going to church, it's easier to bitch, whine, lament, rue, and mope, than actually put forth the work and effort.  And just because they claim to be conservative doesn't meant they have a harder work ethic or know better.  They just happened to be lucky to choose the political model that actually works.

All these drawbacks aside, however, there is a silver lining. 

The epiphany that most conservatives are just as inept and lazy as leftists has allowed me to achieve great solace, serenity, and calm in my philosophical and political-psychological-life because, frankly, the vast majority of Americans do not deserve America.  Democrat or Republican, conservative or socialist, capitalist or communist, the majority of people are just too damn lazy and incompetent to deserve something as great as America.  This should be of great alleviation to both you and me because we no longer have to:

worry
fret
or burden ourselves with the future of this country because...

this country and its people will get PRECISELY what they deserve.  It is perfect justice, it is right and correct, and for us to get in its way is not only wrong, but a waste of what few and precious moments of life we have on the planet.  Cheer it on and...

Enjoy the decline.