Wednesday, June 01, 2016

Dear Facebook, I Think It's Time We Took a Break

Dear Facebook,

I know we've had our troubles in the past, especially you kicking me out of your life for a 72 hour probationary period.  However, thankfully, in those 72 hours without you it gave me time to pause, think, and reflect upon our relationship.

You see, while I love interacting online with my friends, engaging in conversation, and provoking new thought and emotions in others, in the end I find that about 90% of my time spent with you is ultimately wasted.  I've been conditioned to automatically click on my Facebook App icon if I see there's a new notification, only to realize it's a picture or a comment that neither advances nor genuinely improves my life.  When I hear that "ding" on my phone my heart has palpitations, thinking it may be something of genuine intellectual interest, only to see it's another, of increasingly common, articles about refugees raping their "Refugees Welcome" hosts or Donald Trump p'wnding the media.  And instead of going to bed at a reasonable hour, you keep me up at night in the vain hopes you might just say something useful, inspiring, or intelligent to me...and you just don't.  When I add it up, I waste a full 2 hours a day with you that is just unrewarding.

Also, to be honest, you're just a bit too controlling.  When I'm having a private conversation with friends about sensitive political topics, you seem to think you have the authority to come in and ban me out of your life because of my views.  And I fear it isn't even my views as much as it is my language, which makes you even more invasive and tyrannical!  My use of the word "faggot" (which I can only surmise is why you wanted to not see me for those ponderous 72 hours, but you won't tell me) wasn't a slander against gays (of which you KNOW I'm pro-gay and pro-gay marriage), as much as it was leftist faggoty pussies that are destroying our nation.  And my BFF Chris?  You banned him too for equally unknown reasons!  Of course, I know I'm under your house and your rules, and you can make up whatever rules you want, but I just thought you were more progressive and open-minded than that, especially for somebody from San Francisco. 

Considering all this, I agree with you.  I think we do need a break. But unlike your 72 hour probation period, I don't want to see you for 2 weeks.  I miss my real friends in the real world.  I want it to be like the 80's again where we met in meatspace, played baseball, had lunch, and biked all over town.  I want to find myself again so I don't lose myself to a digital world of kitty pics, Daily Mail tabloid articles, and Donald Trump hashtags.  I want to go and fish and ride my motorcycle and live life.  And truthfully, I want to end my addiction to clicking on the Facebook app everytime I hear a "ding" or see a notification.

I know this may be hard for you...and heaven help you if millions of other people were to do the same thing.  Because, unlike "boycotting big oil for one day" if millions of people didn't check into Facebook for two weeks, that might actually have an effect...but I think we both need more than 72 hours off to find ourselves.  Me, so I'm not wasting the two hours a day on unrewarding clickbait...and you so you can realize that expending shareholder resources lording over and snooping in on people's conversations probably isn't a good idea.

I'll only be calling when I need to post articles I've written or post a new episode on my podcast.  Until then....

Farewell,

Aaron Clarey
___________________________________________
http://aaron-clarey.podomatic.com/
http://www.assholeconsulting.com
https://www.youtube.com/user/AaronClarey
https://twitter.com/aaron_clarey
http://www.amazon.com/Aaron-Clarey/e/B00J1ZC350/
Amazon Affiliate

17 comments:

Avraham said...

I stopped FB and have no regrets

Kurt Knapp said...

I deleted my facebook account 4 years ago. I'm not on any "social media". It's the wave of the future.

J Tetreault said...

Same as Kurt. I've quit Facebook and all the other social media sites.

Anonymous said...

Good for you man, I find that people who say they use facebook to "keep up with friends". I think this is total bs. If someone actually means something to you in your life you'll give them a call. Not look at their fake life that they portray on facebook. Props, welcome to the club. Millenial with no social media here, best decision I could have made, instantly weeds out useless people from my life.

elmer t. jones said...

What's "facebook"?

GRM said...

I abandoned Facebook years ago. Just could not see any positive relevance to it. Do not subscribe to any other media website. I know to many people that the first thing out of their mouth is, "I saw on facebook", blah, blah, blah. That in it self is enough to send me running in the other direction.

grey enlightenment said...

waste of time

Anonymous said...

old white guy says.......I have never knowingly used facebook and avoid it like the plague.

Peter Wales said...

There are other options.

https://www.blissyoo.com/ is a new, conservative-friendly social network with a commitment to freedom of speech.

All the good things about Facebook, none of the bull or censorship.

Ofay Cat said...

First of all, I don't have many friends. I am old and computer literate whilst most of my peers can't even use a cel phone. I don't have kids so I can't vicariously enjoy this shit.

Further, I agree there's not much there to begin with ... pet and baby pictures and the occasional Bernie promo.

I do use FB for one thing only ... for ease of log in to other sites that use the post feature on their comments section. I post nothing on FB. I also have a twitter account in order to get a few other perspectives on the political circus that is America.

Ofay Cat said...

First of all, I don't have many friends. I am old and computer literate whilst most of my peers can't even use a cel phone or have already died .... I don't have kids so I can't vicariously enjoy this shit.

Further, I agree there's not much there to begin with ... pet and baby pictures and the occasional Bernie promo.

I do use FB for one thing only ... for ease of log in to other sites that use the post feature on their comments section. I post nothing on FB. I also have a twitter account in order to get a few other perspectives on the political circus that is America.

Bob Smithers said...

I only created a Faceplant account, to be able to post commentary on Fb ID logins. Otherwise, its invasive nature, its leftwing slant, and its "like, like, like" schoolgirl type of language that is only permitted, leaves me gagging at the FB world.

Robert of Ottawa said...

What is this "Facebook" I hear of?

Anonymous said...

I'm waiting for the trigger to short FB stock. Just a matter of time.

Jim Scrummy said...

Never bookfaced and never will.

Faithless Cynic said...

Not on Facebook but I have an amusing Facebook story. A female co-worker was heard saying the following:

" My Facebook friends think I should keep taking my anti depressants"

Anti depressants are powerful drugs with odd and sometimes permanent side effects. Many active shooters are later found to be on these meds. This dumb bitch is taking medical advice from folks posting from Mom's basement.

Oh Yeah, I almost forgot. She was lovely but BATSHIT CRAZY. Who would have thought?

YIH said...

Another reason to not do faceberg; To them you are the ''product'': Your name, location, approximate income, tastes, ect. ect., bundled up and sold for marketing purposes. Something even more odious, even stuff you don't willingly ''share'' is being vacuumed up for their purposes: Your phone's GPS data, for example, the contents of your phone number and email lists and the contents of any other folder on your phone, such as your photos and videos.
But here's one that will really bother you; The microphone of your phone is also activated, that's right, Zuck and company are eavesdropping on what you ''dumb fucks'' (yes, those are the exact words he uses to describe faceberg users) are saying, even if you would rather they not do that.
BTW, I don't know about Minnesota, but in many states (such as, for example, Florida) that is blatantly illegal. Video without audio is pretty much free to record at will, but audio requires consent - that's how Hulk Hogan was able to bodyslam Gawker Media.
Will Zuck be arrested for committing a felony? I'd like to see someone do just that next time he visits Disney World.