Monday, July 30, 2007

Child vs. X-Box 360 - The Best of Cpt. Capitalism

I'm off to play Indiana Jones again, a fossil site has been discovered in northern Iowa, and I must visit it before my French paleontologist rival beats me to it. Then there's that whole hot chick that I have to save deal, and I've seem to have misplaced my bullwhip. And there's probably Nazi's crawling around there too. Anyway, here's a repost of one of the BEST of Captain Capitalism.

As an avid fan of maximizing one's utility and one who appreciates the wise expenditure of resources, I very much like consumer reports, where various organizations rate and rank different products or services so that you may be a more informed consumer and thus spend your money in a manner that would yield the maximum amount of utility.

And given it is the Christmas season, we here at Captain Capitalism Consumer Reports, Inc. want to give something back to society as a gesture of good will during this charitable time. Something that will help you make a wise decision and maximize your standards of living. Something that will spread mirth and cheer in your household. Something that is sure to help you out in your financial health and endeavors.

A comparison between what seems to be the two hottest items this Christmas season for late 20 to early 30 somethings;

X-Box and a child.

We here at Captain Capitalism Consumer Reports Inc. sincerely hope and wish you and yours the best in this utility maximizing season!


David_Z said...

nice, cap'n. very nice.

JTapp said...

Unfortunately that last one (chicks find them cute) counts a lot more than most of the others on the list.

Captain Capitalism said...

Oh, young foolish 2nd Lieutenant. When you hit 26 or so, you'll realize that chicks, despite the possibilities, are such impossibilities, that it's best you just focus on your career, get your schtick together, make money, play your vids, and hang out with the guys, because they ain't all that.

Sure there's an occasional one that you darn well better marry, but most of them do not make it worth the climb.

RexChap said...

Captain- you have made it more than clear you do not care for children and do not find them economically valuable. We get it. Is it possible in your world that responsible parents raising productive children who grow up to be productive tax paying citizens are not simply a burden on our world? Is it possible these same children could grow up to be a doctor who saves your life,an engineer who invents cold fusion or god forbid- an economist who further the cause? Clearly- too many people who shouldn't have children are but don't lump us all together.

Anonymous said...


Anyone wandering past my PC is going to see this. I liked how the last time you had a short list of the opportunity costs of having a kid. A yacht, a five year vacation, 457 pure-bred wiener dogs, and so on.

"Is it possible in your world that responsible parents raising productive children who grow up to be productive tax paying citizens are not simply a burden on our world?"

If I may take this one...

To borrow the words of the wisest man on TV; people are bastard coated bastards with bastard filling. Children are no different, and don't do anything productive on top of that. When they finally grow up, there's an even chance they'll end up as Democrats. Actually, pretty much anybody who doesn't end up in the same voting bloc as you is a direct threat to your well being and prosperity, since our political system boils down to various special interest groups trying to out-loot each other.

Able Archer said...

This blog entry is no match for "Dear Penthouse Forum". Sorry, captain, it seems that you are past your prime. ;-(