Thursday, May 03, 2012

Kill the Individual, Hail the Parasite

This is a brilliant piece for more reasons than one.  But what I particularly like about it is the reference to the "SBA loan" because it strikes close to home.

For those of you unfamiliar with the "SBA," it is a government agency set up to support idiotic, moronic, stupid, imbecilic, pathetic, losers and their equally idiotic, moronic, stupid, imbecilic, pathetic business ideas. ie- you suckers of taxpayers are paying America's DUMBEST (and I cannot stress how accurate that adjective is) "entrepreneurs" to pursue their hobbies, err..."dreams."

Did they have a business plan?


Did they do the research necessary to make sure they didn't merely just take money from the taxpayer to pursue their stupid, idiotic bound-to-fail dreams?


Did they have any real intention of running a legitimate business, let alone the business acumen to produce a profit?

Hell no.

Much as I'd like to besmirch the SBA as a failed venture capital firm that has no right financing or guaranteeing ANY private sector ventures with a taxpayer guarantee, but it is even more insulting than that.  The SBA is nothing more than a charity financing the world's dumbest people's hobbies.

I've seen horse ranches, sports bars, "pajama restaurants" (that's one where you show up for breakfast in your pajamas - the collateral tendered was milk and inventory), and no end to red-neck hick "tractor trailer" independent contractor types all financed and guaranteed by the tax payer thanks to the SBA.  Never mind none of these people have an IQ above 80.  Never mind none of these people have the slightest clue what it takes to run a business. Never mind they all have 2 divorces, and 5 children from 3 different mothers (sorry, I've been living in the sticks too long), no, those dumb idiots at the SBA are going to guarantee (with YOUR MONEY) the loans the private banks made to these chromosomed-challenged individuals.

So when Peggy Sue's "brilliant" "pet grooming" business plan fails, guess who ends up paying?

That's right, YOU DO.

Worse still is a program the SBA came up with called the "ARC" loan during the recession.  This was a program where you could borrow up to $35,000 if your company was having trouble.  So not only would the SBA provide the initial start up capital, if you ran into trouble it would double down providing you an ARC loan.  EVERY company I've seen with an ARC loan, the borrowers were stupefyingly stupid in their original business endeavor AND had no chance whatsoever to pay back the loan.   

Regardless, I've said it before, and I'll say it again.

The SBA is nowhere near as big of a problem as social security, medicare or medicaid.  But what irks me more than the fact this government entity has done nothing but waste billions in taxpayer's money, is how it legitimizes or validates the world's DUMBEST people as real "business people."  The trailer trash yokel who collected welfare and WIC all of the sudden thinks he's a real "business man" when a bank, that would normally NEVER in a million years make the loan, only does so because the SBA guarantees it.  This moron is no different than a welfare bum who collects a paycheck, BUT with the added benefit of having the attitude that "he's a business man."  I'd much rather just simply pay a welfare check to a guy who says, "Yeah, I'm scamming the system, so what?" than some doofus playing "make believe businessman" on my dime.

Mark my words, you will hear about the SBA in the future, just like Fannie Mae and Freddi Mac.


Dave said...

I have a brilliant business plan:

* Start a home-based jewelry-making business.
* Get as much money in SBA loans as I possibly can.
* Buy gold bars with it. Say I'll get around to making jewelry "one of these days".
* When gold has quadrupled in price, sell enough to pay off the loan.
* Enjoy free gold courtesy of Uncle Sucker!

Anonymous said...

Cappy Cap,
Think of it this way- SBA is a current easy way for "the rest of us" to Plunder.

Yaa, parse the below (too much Rumpie on my part)-
"Avast, ye scalawags, and take what is yours! Too much has been removed from ye in the name of "fairness", but the Small Business is the Engine of the Economie*. Well, They made the Rules of Legal Plunder FROM you, take back with the legal rules FOR you!!! And Hide it Well!!"

*so told to me by the SBA coordinators I have dealt with.

Anonymous said...

Hall of Fame quality stuff here.

Most S and P 500 profits are overseas now (if the market plunges due to lame US data, it's usually a buying opportunity). The US needs to help BIG business by cutting taxes. At some point, more big business helps small businesses too! Rising tide, and all that.

Decent small business is choked by the imposters. SAME WITH COLLEGE.

sth_txs said...

Not to mention that SBA loans are only for the protected groups that the federal government favors.

Ping Jockey said...

Sound a LOT like the same deal that the government runs for the infamous "Endowment For The Arts" scam.
Remember the smarmy 'artist' who immersed a crucifix in a jar of urine and called it "P*ss Christ"?
(Even though I'm not a Christian, I still find the deliberate sacriligeous treatment of any holy symbols offensive. I think that we are ALL God's children, no matter what our religion -- and some of God's children need to be taught their manners!)

Norm said...

Worse, these borrowers will get some business (even a broken clock is right twice a day)undercutting the real business in price and volume.