Men in the ballroom dance community will know what I'm talking about and will appreciate the great advancement I've just made.
The "Giggle Complex" is when you go to a table of girls at a dance hall, and in order to not seem like you're a stalker or targeting any one girl, you say,
"Would any of you like to dance?"
Without fail, what reliably ensues is giggling. This is then followed up by the different girls at the table pointing at each other,
"No, you dance with him."
giggglelgiglglegiggle
"No, YOU dance with him!"
giggleglgiggleigiggleggiel
"Tee hee, I don't know how to dance, you should dance with him!"
giggilgeiglggigglggilgglegiggle
You stand there like an idiot for about a solid minute that seems to last an eternity as they unknowingly mock you in front of many people (I however immediately do an about face once they giggling and pointing and "no you" BS begins, and have seen women continue pointing at each other not realizing I've left). If you have confidence, you actually take it in stride and perhaps even revel in the irony of how these girls are no doubt the ones complaining about where "all the good guys are," while there stands before them the salsa-dancing, motorcycle riding, fighter-pilot, surgeon, alphamale they all dream of having, but loathe the concept of dancing with.
Regardless, this presents a problem to men in the dance community, because while this strategy is still one of the best approaches to notch up some dances, it is draining, not terribly successful and is insulting.
Introduce a little Alphamaleness.
Was at the local dance club in town. Not a lot of dancers here, but there is a dance hall and it gets reasonably packed on the weekend. Fed up with the past 3 weekends of getting shot down and by none-too-pretty ladies I might add, my attitude was not a patient one. I saw a girl that was in shape, went up to her and her group of friends at the table and said,
"Hey, let's dance."
The giggling and pointing was about to start, and she said,
"You should dance with my friend she..."
I cut her off. I said,
"I didn't ask her to dance. I asked you to dance."
The initial giggling immediately stopped.
Their eyes went wide.
No childish finger pointing or mocking ensued.
She got up off of her seat, walked to the dance floor with me and danced. When I got back to the table, I pointed at the next one and said,
"You're next."
Ended up dancing with the whole table.
I officially believe this is the way now to approach all women when you are asking them to dance, especially when they're securely huddled within the "herd." You single the hottest one out, go right up to her, borderline tell her she's dancing with you, and before the cackling can begin you deliver the silver bullet,
"I didn't ask her to dance, I asked you to dance."
Has not failed me yet.
The only other method I've had that has been more successful is to bring a ringer in. This is where you bring a dance partner who is outstanding. You dance so everybody can see how good you are, essentially advertising to the women,
"Yes, I know how to dance. And yes, you too could be the center of attention just like this woman I'm dancing with now."
Whether they know how to dance or not, they won't care. They want to become that woman on the center of the floor and have all the attention of all the men in the joint.
9 comments:
Oh to be a fly on the wall!
"The only other method I've had that has been more successful is to bring a ringer in. This is where you bring a dance partner who is outstanding.
I sense a business opportunity for all the "ringers" out there.
Mike James
Great stuff. More of this stuff, less econ, would give your blog more interest. Just my 0.02.
"Yes, I know how to dance. And yes, you too could be the center of attention just like this woman I'm dancing with now."
You realize, of course, that you've just written an Old Spice commercial.
This sounds excellent, and like all properly valuable advice, drives me to smack my head at how obvious it seems now that someone else has said it.
Will this work however if you're new to dancing and approach knowing you're new and rubbish on the floor and need this practice?
It strikes me as an approach that would only work if done with the mindset of "I'm here to get some time in on the floor with a girl I am not repulsed by and have some fun dancing and improving my ability at doing so."
Yeah, you never give them a decision to make. You tell them. If they really dont like it, they'll let you know.
But wouldn't it be better to start with the second hottest?
You intrigue me Mr. Welker,
Why the second hottest?
I either establish dominance (or at least confidence) going after the hottest one
OR (more commonly actually)
I pick the ugliest, fattest one and ask her to dance, usually leaving the "hottest" one for last, if not never, to de-arm her of her looks.
Reminds me of this:
"My girlfriend accused me of stalking. At least I hope she'll be my girlfriend someday.
You start with the second most attractive woman if your intention is to win the affection of the most attractive.
She is likely out with her friends and is used to getting the majority of attention, so not asking her to dance first is step one.
Choosing the second most attractive woman is important because the most attractive will see her as competition for her place in their group of friends' pecking order.
If you start with the least attractive they may assume you lack self confidence.
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