Friday, March 30, 2012

Which is Why I Play Video Games

I don't think I've watched a network TV show in probably 8 years.

I think "Firefly" was the last cable show I watched and that was on DVD.

This is of course excluding cartoons which I watch nightly.

I wonder when the marketing geniuses in TV will realize that in order to boost sales they might want to consider targeting this highly under-served segment of the market called "men." I hear it's a pretty big market.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

The $67 Billion Feminist Tax that Women Primarily Pay

Follow me closely on this one because it takes some explaining, but I'll try to make this as clear and as simple as possible so you see my point.

In order for something to be taxed there must be some kind of transaction. You get a paycheck, you sell some stock, you buy gas, you sell a house, etc. etc. That transaction is recorded not just in company or government records, but at banks, so if you were ever to get audited, there would be some kind of proof a transaction did indeed occur. There are only two ways to avoid this taxation:

1. That transaction is done in cash (and therefore no banking or electronic proof that transaction occurred).

2. You barter for services or goods (again, no electronic record of any transaction).

Now, that being said, the IRS still requires you to report any cash or bartering transactions so you can pay taxes on it, but they're relying on the honor system in these cases. Naturally, there's an incentive to make transactions via cash or barter, resulting in an US underground economy estimated to be anywhere from $500 billion to even $3 trillion.

When you think "underground economy" you usually think drugs, weapons, maybe contractors doing favors for one another, but you rarely think of housework as part of the underground economy. Basic house maintenance, upkeep and cleaning is viewed more as a chore and even the most ardent of IRS agents I doubt would advocate somehow requiring homemakers reporting whether or not they vacuumed that year or mowed the lawn.

However, they don't really have to. Feminism has already done that for them.

Again, before I continue on, let me get the disclaimers out here so we can blunt the knee-jerk reactions from the non-thinking reactionaries. Let me state that I for one never viewed house work as "beneath" anybody. I never viewed what could be considered traditional "women's work" beneath traditional "men's work" and to this day still am looking for proof where society placed less value on traditional women's roles than they did traditional male's roles. Truthfully, I believe having "men's" work and "women's" work categorized was really more of a symbiotically beneficial division of labor allowing both groups to produce more than had they tried to do both jobs, but that is for another debate at another point in time. For purposes of our discussion now, I view traditional "women's work" just as vital as traditional "men's work," while at the same time agreeing there are instances where the traditional roles could be reversed that would also be beneficial.

But getting back to my original point, feminism has indeed brought a lot of the unspoken labor involved in house work, house maintenance and traditional "women's work" out of the world of barter and into the official (and now taxable) economy.


Well consider this.

1950's home maker Sue spends her day cleaning and taking care of the house. Washing dishes, doing laundry, cooking meals, and (more importantly) taking care of the kids. All of this has vital value to the continuing function of the household and thus the economy and thus the country, but because she is not paid to do it, there is no way to put a market value on it and therefore no way to tax it.

But today, many thanks to feminism, women are no longer "shackled" to the doldrums of the 1950's housewife. She can go and pursue her own education, her own career, have kids, have a home, have a car, pursue her hobbies, run for president, fly to the moon and cure cancer. She can do it all and she can have it all because she has moxie and grrrrrl power (TM). And so, in 2012, Amy is "having it all" as she works as a lawyer in a prestigious DT law firm, with her 3 children, her house payments and car payments, as she participates in the local wine club, and goes out and partays as she is single because her ex-husband was a jerk.

The question is, naturally, if Amy is out doing all these things, how does she take care of her house and her children?

Simple, she doesn't. She pays somebody else to do it. She outsources all these things.

Uh ohhhhhh!

"Did you say, "outsource," Captain?"

Yes, yes I did. And you know what that means. That was a transaction. A transaction that is recordable and now, thusly, taxable.

In short, by kicking the homemaker (whether it was male or female, it doesn't matter) out of the house and into the working world you no longer have a willing and amiable spouse to stay at home and do all that work for "free." You have to pay somebody, and NOW you get to pay taxes on it.

How much? Well, shucks howdy, a cool $67 billion every year ladies and gentlemen.

How did I come about that figure? With my patented "Super Awesome Economic Genius," of course!

If you go to the NIPA accounts and look at personal consumption expenditures and add up all the various "household services," "day care," "cleaning services," and other things that would have been done by a traditional housewife, you get $169.3 billion spent on everything. But in the 1950's, that wouldn't have been a transacted number. That would have been a theoretical value applied to the barter. But since $169.3 billion has actually been transacted, you need to apply the roughly 40% tax rate to that amount, which results in the $67 billion tax bill I estimated above.

Now who pays this tax?

Disproportionately women.

Men were already working in the official economy and therefore paying income taxes. It's not like male labor force participation jumped since the 1950's. But to pay for the outsourcing of house maintenance, home keeping, child-rearing, etc., this bill fell on women who were now on their way to having it all. Women were now not just working and paying regular income taxes, they were now paying that extra $67 billion in taxes to essentially free them up from those horribly oppressive traditional roles so they could pursue their careers.

However, this brings up a funny "chicken or the egg" observation.

Often times I will hear people (not just women, but men too) say,

"Well, you need a two-person income to support a family today. It's impossible to have a stay at home parent."


Is it that you need to work two jobs to pay for everything, or is it that "everything" costs so much because it was cheaper for one parent to stay home instead of paying $22,000 a year for day care, $10,000 a year for a cleaner, and an extra $12,000 a year for eating out at restaurants because nobody has time to shop for groceries let alone turn them into meals?

Sadly, today the point is moot. Society, in voting in a bevy of social programs, has made the option of a parent staying home nearly impossible. Too many government programs exist today to accommodate the two-working-parent model that if you decide one of you will stay home to rear children and take care of the house, you're stabbed on property taxes, sales taxes, and other non-income tax related levies. You are also forfeiting "free" government programs that have taken over some of these traditional housewife duties.

However, the fact there are so many government programs brings up two last, but wickedly ironic points.

Point 1 - Cleaning the house, doing the dishes, etc., etc., is one thing. But the most expensive item that was bartered for back in the olden days was rearing children. Society, in all of its wisdom, has effectively outsourced that to the government. You have day care, pre-school, early childhood development programs, high school care for teenage moms' children. You could even argue elementary school is largely a baby sitting operation. And with the early-morning school programs and after-school programs, you can hardly argue it isn't. You can pretty much just go and have a child and after a bit of maternity leave, drop the kid off at some school, institution or daycare and the government will either subsidize it or outright pay for it. Thank god, you don't have to deal with that icky, yucky, gross child of yours, let alone RAISE that darn thing! Whew! Onto your masters degree.

But who then raises your child?

And here is the wicked part.

Point 2 - Though not always, predominantly other women take care of your kid. Amy the lawyer or Kelly the engineer would be one thing in that the economic argument could be made that in outsourcing their traditional housewife duties, they COULD make more as an engineer, pay somebody else to maintain the home, pay the extra "feminist tax" on those transactions and STILL come out ahead. They and their husbands could make bookoo coin, fly around the world, gallivant and drink wine, and heck yes, more power to you, AS LONG AS YOU DON'T HAVE CHILDREN. However, that is not the case in the majority of working women. The majority of working women are not only NOT engineers, the majority of women DO want children.

So what ends up happening?

Women, in droves, disproportionately major in "early childhood development," "education," "child psychology," "sociology," "social work," and a bevy of other worthless degrees to do what????

Take care of other womens' children.

Not only do you NOT get to take care of your own children, you get to work to pay the taxes to pay other women to take care of yours (and the taxes needed to employ this veritable army of social workers is infinitely more than $67 billion).

Of course, this is all good. We're all empowered. We're all "having it all." We're all happy. I'm sure the government does a much better job at child rearing than actual mothers (or stay at home fathers) do. Thank god we abandoned traditional roles that somehow developed (for no reason whatsoever) over the millinea of human history. Otherwise there may have been some longer-term consequences that would dwarf the mere $67 billion tax bill. And that certainly isn't possible now, is it?

Yes, California Still Sucks


Couldn't happen to a more deserving group of people.

Captain's Bible

In Saint Kathy's letter to the Torontoans, Chapter 3, Verse 213, "I thanketh the lord that I hadeth a vasectomy. For my non-existent offspring will not suffer the very existent offspring of others."

In Maggie's Second Letter to the Americans, Chapter 14, Verse 498, "Though the Captain had pointed this out, yea, verily, I shall do the same. For democracy hath doth degradeth to the point we merely vote to confiscate wealth from the few and redistribute it to the masses. The government is merely a wealth redistribution entity."

In Diane's 4th Letter to the Conservatives, Chapter 90, Verse 2, Subsection B, "Sadly, we are not funny, for you needeth to loosen upeth. Though, true humor of a classy variety may be found in Victor Borge, Bob Hope and "Some Like It Hot." Yeah, we suffer the likes of Margaret Cho."

And in Saint Vodka's Second letter to the Perma-Bubbleians, "You fools! Believeth in hope and change all you want. Inventories are up, as are gas prices. Prepare for the decline!"

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Keep Majoring in Fluff, Girls, Men Need Strippers

Every father with a "precious little princess" for a daughter should be buying my book.


Well, when your precious little girl who can do no wrong grows up and majors in journalism, chances are much higher she'll be a stripper. Not that me and my boys are complaining, you understand!

And girls, you do whatever your precious little heart tells you. Follow your dream! Follow your heart. Major in "early childhood education," major in "English," major in "child psychology, you go grrrrrl! Because the world needs strippers! And fathers, by all means, you pay for her tuition!

(Or you could could shell out $12.95 to vaccinate your daughters against such a fate).

A Rare Case of Quality 70's Culture

I mean, in addition to Spaghetti Westerns.

Monday, March 26, 2012

Saint Leykis on Starbucks Economics

Of the many reasons I love Tom Leykis, the fact he grew up in poverty and thus has the EXACT SAME ground-up views of economics that I did is probably number one.

Despite having millions, Saint Leykis still makes the same observations and can make the same precise mathematical calculations about everyday simple personal finance that most people don't or are incapable of.

In his First Letter to the Starbuckians, Saint Leykis points out the truth whilst ripping the Starbuckians a well-deserved new one. This is a must for all economists because his observations are outstanding and precise.

Saturday, March 24, 2012

The Captain's Great Big Horn Canyon Adventure!

OK, maybe not so great. Not only am I recovering from cracked ribs in jujitsu, but I also got a run of the mill cold (which THE WOMEN OF THE CAPPOSPHERE HAVE MISERABLY FAILED TO PAMPER ME ON!).

This relegated me to merely driving out west through Wyoming and up north into Montana to check out the Big Horn Canyon National Recreation Area in more of a reconnaissance mission than any serious hiking. Additionally, even if I did want to hike you can't because the park is surrounded by the Indian reservation which you can't "trespass" on if you aren't a member of that particular tribe. This proved problematic in that the park is really nothing more than a very steep canyon that has been dammed up, leaving no "beach" for you to hike on in the developed reservoir. In short, the entire reservoir (or at least the part I visited) is really nothing more than cliffs driving straight down into water, so you are forced to

1. Stick to the roads
2. Not walk on any land (because you're not of the Ojibwe or whatever tribe)
3. Look at awesome canyons that you can't access by foot (because once again you're not of the Sioux or whatever tribe).

Though, again this is probably best because I was ill.

Regardless, here are some photos of my limited trip. If you are to visit the Big Horn Canyon area, I recommend just renting a boat in Lovell and boating through the canyon, which I fully intend on doing because it's about the only way to really appreciate the beauty of the park. I hope you enjoy them:

Off in the distance you may see a sheriff's/ranger's boat. I want his job. "Here you go, go camping for 20 years and we'll pay you a pension!"

These were the only other people at the park (aside from the "hard working ranger that had to suffer the horrors of jet-setting his boat in the reservoir").

Lot's o' fish! They were very catatonic actually. I threw some rocks into the school (as boys are prone to do) and they just merely scattered and regrouped. I think they were hibernating or something. Was very weird.

This was taken at the farthest point I could go towards the dam before the sign said, "Due to National Security, And Despite You Being Captain Capitalism and Lover of All That Is American and America, You Cannot Go Any Further." Thank you "Religion of Peace"

This is the back side of the dam that I wanted to see. Amazing the engineering that this is holding up what is effectively a 50 mile long lake. I also like how you can see the end of the Big Horn mountains as they just finally peter out into the prairies that inevitably roll into North and South Dakota. Matter of fact, you might actually be looking at the western edges of North dakota in this picture.

So there you go Cappy Cappites. Not the best adventure, but may I point out a very important point about adventuring (especially to you kids out there).

If you sit there on your ass and do the same thing day in and day out, then you are guaranteed not to discover anything new or interesting. But if you go out, even in a sickened condition, and are willing to just pilot a car through barren landscapes, desolated and impoverished Indian reservations, and vast swathes of buffalo-poop-dotted-prairies, to go to a destination you see on a map,

at minimum,

at the VERY LEAST,

you resolve your curiosity as to "what is out there?"

However, I can honestly say that in all of my adventuring, hiking, and crusades I have ALWAYS, 100% of the time found something unique and unexpected.

A fossil of a brontosphere.

A $3,000 fairburn agate that the "old timers" never thought to look for.

A cave never found by the US Forestry service (near Deadwood BTW!)

A tornado forming.

A school of catatonic fish in a man made lake.

A ghost town.

An abandoned 1920's bootlegger car (Buffalo Grasslands near Scenic, SD)

30 caliber machine gun bullets and casings (again Buffalo Grasslands)

Abandoned cemeteries in South Dakota

You just have to go. That chances of you NOT discovering anything is practically 0%. This country is so full of cool and awesome stuff out in the wilderness you are practically guaranteed to find something unique and interesting if you just go adventuring. And it's not that you have to look for something specific like agates or fossils or tornadoes. They'll find you (especially tornadoes).

So go forth Cappy Cappites, Lieutenants, Agents in the Field, and Economists! You're going to die soon. And by "soon" I mean 50 years or less.

Which IS





Friday, March 23, 2012

Backlash Against Arrogant HR "Professionals"

If it were 1947 this would not be happening. I do not picture a WWII vet, sitting at an interview acquiescing to Nazi-like interrogative requests from employers. They had too much self-respect. But today's modern day American male is a different breed. Meek, humble, cowardly and effeminate, sadly I see most people so desperate for a job they would comply.

However, I do predict employers, particularly the HR nazi's that come up with these violating ideas, will suffer a backlash. There will come a time where not only will it be impossible to meet these impossibly high standards, but most people will just give up and have no problems going on the government dole. It's kind of like the captain of the cheerleading team threatening time and time again she won't go out with you, and you realize soon, she'll never go out with you. She never had any intention. And once people in the labor force start to have a similar epiphany (ie-you were never going to get the job in the first place, it's already reserved for her BFF) the snide, little 24 HR ditz asking people for their Facebook password, might get a well-deserved lecture about shoving applications where the sun doesn't shine instead of compliance.

Of course I have grand dreams of millions of job interviewees telling HR to shove it where the sun doesn't shine so that employers might start changing their tune. But, alas, that is truly wishful thinking on my part.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

The Captain's Jazz Lounge

Who Wants to Hire Julie Rothe?

Now, don't all you employers rush to line up now! Patience, patience, she can only work at one firm!

"Julie Rothe, an 18-year-old finance and information systems freshman, said she plans to accept responsibility. But she will challenge the penalty, she said, because students cheated in years past.

“I’m really angry at the fact that students got away with this in earlier semesters,” she said. “We are taking the hit, and I believe that is unfair.”"


Actually reminds me of my olden days teaching at "kollige."

I'm Majoring in Jennifer Aniston

In my sophomore year, I declared my major of study: Jennifer Aniston. Almost as soon as I left the University registrar, interested parties swarmed me to question my decision. Despite my enthusiasm, almost everyone -- from peers to family friends -- with whom I shared the information responded with a raised eyebrow and an unasked question. Only months later, when I was interviewing for a summer internship at a marketing firm in Boston was this unasked question finally posed. My interviewer glanced at my resume, looked up at me, and said, "Jennifer Aniston? What are you going to do with that?"

What, indeed. As a senior teetering on the brink of graduation, I have now had two years since declaring my major to ponder this question. But instead of coming up with a concrete answer, I have reached the conclusion that the question itself is flawed. Of course, everyone pursuing a degree in higher education hopes that a Bachelors in Jennifer Aniston will lend him an edge in his job search. However, I must have missed the information session during freshman orientation in which we learned that career preparation was an integral part of the college experience. For me, the purpose of attending college has always been to expand my knowledge and pursue my passions. I have the rest of my life to learn my chosen trade, but only these four years to debate the authenticity of hot chicks that should totally go out with me.

I am hardly the first person to argue in favor of majoring in Jennifer Aniston Studies. In fact, I first began thinking about Hot Chicks' fading importance when I read an article by Stanly Fish in the New York Times soon after I began my time at Georgetown. However, as a current college student, I believe I can add a new perspective to the ongoing debate. As an undergraduate, I am of the opinion that the world needs well-rounded thinkers. Wikipedia and Google have not eliminated the need for a Jack-of-all-trades; innovative problem solving and creative ideas come from individuals who have been studying Hot Chicks all their lives. Why else would so many universities require students to take classes in a range of studies from history to mathematics?

Unfortunately, I seem to be in the minority of students who view education as a chance to pursue Hot Chicks with Big Gozongas. Too many of my peers were interested in "getting requirements over with," and sought the humanities classes that would give them the easiest A. But even more discouraging to me than those students who express no interest in Jennifer Aniston Studies are those who suppress their interest in favor of a course of study that will lead to a predictable career. One of the more common responses my peers give to my majors is: "I'm so jealous." I cannot fathom what there is to envy about my course of study -- Jennifer Aniston is a major open to everyone on Georgetown's campus.

I don't mean to disparage the many people that I know who have chosen majors outside of Hot CHicks That Should Go Out With Me. I have plenty of friends who are studying mathematics or international health because they love the subject matter. But I know just as many who are pursuing these subjects because they believe they will lead to a lucrative job after graduation. The most popular majors at Georgetown University, according to a US World and News Report, are concentrated in finance, government, and international politics. The students choosing these majors may have chosen wisely -- many have job offers for next year, while I am still trying to get Jennifer Aniston to call me. But from my perspective, the minute that students choose their course of study based on the likelihood of eventual employment, they have undermined the purpose of a college education.

We all come to college to chase chicks with big gozongas. No one can debate that claim. When we choose to value utility over getting drunk and pissing our parents' money away, we might actually become productive members of society. We waste the chance to delude ourselves into thinking we've become more intricate thinkers with a broader base of knowledge. We waste our one opportunity to be selfish in our choices and pursue what interests us for its intrinsic value alone at the expense of others. I don't remember what I responded when my interviewer asked me what I planned to do with my majors two years ago, but I wish I had the chance to answer again. What do I plan to do with my studies in Jennifer Aniston? Default on my student loans.

Thanks for the laugh Kinne.

And, BTW, parents, don't let your kid become like Kinne. Buy this book for them. $12.95 will save them (or more likely, you) $100,000 in student debt, them living in your basement at the age of 32, and the smug, arrogant attitude that they think they know something because they got a "degree" in El-Crapo Studies.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Picking Up Girls Now a Hate Crime

Heh, you just can't get enough of these crusaders.

Some of the blogs on the list I can understand, but geez, THE SPEARHEAD????? It's basically a divorced men's support group. Jesus, and that's considered misogyny? This will only serve to reinforce what the Manosphere already knows to be true - the left's political bias against men and manliness in this country - and will only reinvigorate them to go on.

Though I am insulted! I should be on that list too! What gives!? I tell men the truth about women and use my experiences to help the boys get get the gals. I hold women to the same standards of men. That CERTAINLY must qualify me as a misogynist!

Hat tip.

Ladies, You May Commence the Pampering

Bad news everyone.

I are sick. I came down with a cold and feel all poopey now. I'm all sniffly and stuffy. And my stomach hurts and stuff.

Of course, most men and young boys don't see any benefit to being sick. However, there is a huge advantage men have in being sick:

Women love to pamper you.

You don't even have to try, you don't even have to request. You just have to make it known you are sick. And once that press release goes out, pretty much every girl in your life will offer some kind of sympathy, if not full blown pampering in the form of food, dotting on you, coming over, cleaning things, etc. etc. It's amazing.

Now you may say this is taking advantage of women, but I actually disagree with that 100%. The reason why is I believe it is a visceral, darwinian, biological response women have when they see a sick man to immediate go into pampering mode. Oh sure they complain about "pampering" you. Or they'll claim you're "spoiled." Oh, they'll whine and put up a huge kerfuffle. But that concerned look in their eye, replete with a gleam, as they're hurriedly making you home made chicken noodle soup betrays them. They care about you and they love being able to take care of you and nurse you back to health.

Of course, the rookie man will just take the pampering that he receives, not realizing there are ways you can maximize and prolong the pampering. The tactics and techniques vary, but all of which will only increase the amount of sympathy, attention and pampering you receive.

First, boys, the key is to look pitiful. Don't just say, "Eh, I got a cold." Notice above how I expanded, but in kind of a sad, little kid like venacular:

I are sick. I came down with a cold and feel all poopey now. I'm all sniffly and stuffy. And my stomach hurts and stuff.

Words and phrases like "poopey" "sniffly" "I are" and "hurts and stuff" is what a little 4 year old boy would say. This only magnifies the genetic response women have to nurture you back to health because you really do look like the pitiful, helpless, sad sap you really are.

Second, if you really are sick, the symptoms will show. This allows you then to kind of go the other route. You still act pitiful, but you "still have to do stuff." You still have to go to work, you still have to work on that presentation, you still have to change the oil, etc. "It's GOTTA get done!" This will only make the woman re-double her efforts to keep you in bed or on-couch. Remember, still look pitiful. Slowly unscrew the cap from the quart of oil. Have a sad puppy dog look on your face as you change the oil filter. Occasionally say in a sad pitiful fashion, "I don't like being sick."

Third, show you care about the girl by expressing your concern you'll make her sick.

"No, I don't want you to get sick. I can make dinner myself, I think I have some Ramen noodles or some pizza crust left over. That should tide me over until I hopefully have enough energy tomorrow to go to the grocery store and get some juice. I think I have some Black Velvet whiskey that can knock me out...don't think I have any cold medicine. Trust me, you don't want what I got."

She'll be over in 10 minutes.

Fourth, reward her in whatever sad pathetic way you can. I always keep a box of crayons in my bachelor pad and draw them a picture. Usually a "thank you" picture with flowers, because you're too weak and pathetic to drive to the florist. Or burn her a CD (which you shouldn't be doing) which will only prompt her to to feel more pity for you.

Fifth, if you are lucky enough to have a kind woman offer to go to the grocery store, when she asks you what you want, you want kid stuff. You don't want "a gallon of juice," you want apple juice in a juice box with bendy straws. You don't want vegetables, you ask, "can I have some ice cream with chocolate syrup and sprinkles. I want sprinkles. Can I have sprinkles?" You don't want milk, you want chocolate milk, the thick kind that's really good and sugary because you like that.

There are other techniques, and I'm sure some of the more experienced men have their favorites, but following these general guidelines should help multiply the amount of pampering you get. Sadly, though, for your Captain, he can not deploy any of these techniques because he is far away from his home and (truthfully) doesn't know any women in his new town. And so, he'll have to suffer this cold all alone, by himself, with no help from anybody. Sniff sniff. It would be really swell if some of the Cappy Cappites of the female persuasion would send him nice comments and e-mails and stuff. Of you could e-mail him pictures so he can maybe imagine he's not alone in his cold, empty, dark, lonely bachelor pad. But that's OK if you don't want to. I understand. I think I can watch some reruns of Leno later tonight or maybe play some solitaire...though my deck of cards only has 48 cards in it. And maybe I'll have a diet Pepsi...that's if there's anything left in the fridge.

Sniff sniff.

Another Goldman Sachs Idiot

In the echo chamber, people in Wall Street fail to realize that Wall Street does not exist unto itself. Production, profit, and economic growth does not come from that sliver of land we bought from the Indians 250 years ago for a couple of beads. The prices and values of the stocks they trade and see every day in the NYSE are not representative of the productive efforts of the bulge bracket.


It's not "Lance Winthrop" blue blood nepotist of the P&G empire and graduate from Harvard's Business School producing the wealth.

It's not "Chip Rockefeller" trust fund baby extraordinaire and NYC socialite who works at Morgan Stanley's M&A division.

It's Bob Jones, farmer who produces food every day, or Jill Johnson chemist who develops new drugs to treat cancer, or Mike Malloy who builds industrial machinery that produces the wealth.

This they do not understand.

So it should come as no shock that another Goldman Sachs "expert" claims US equities are the best priced they've been in a generation. Never mind trillions of dollars in retirement dollars has effectively made the US equities market a bubble for the past generation. Never mind the P/E ratio is still about 20-25% over its historical average. And never mind the dividend yield is squat (point duly noted about stock repurchases). Set these legitimate criticisms aside. He's erring in another area, namely, ignoring the rest of the country.

I'm sure an overpaid Ivy League blue blood employed in the echo chamber of Wall Street can't understand why people aren't buying stocks. But if he were to come to the west side of the Hudson and maybe a couple hundred miles inland, he might realize that (much like the housing market), people can't buy stocks if they don't have the money.

Yes, ignore the macro-economy, ignore unemployment rates, ignore disposable income figures, ignore income per capita, ignore the private and public debt-loads and just sit there and wonder why aren't these stupid people just gobbling up stocks?

I'll cite Zero Hedge again in its spectacular observation of the declining trading volume of the US stock markets. I'll also make it simple for you East Coasters who seem to think the remaining 49 states have nothing to do with those numbers flashing up on the trading boards:

1. The country is poorer.
2. Nobody has faith in the future of the country
3. More people are suspicious of whether or not their retirement plans will be confiscated
4. People just plain don't have the money to buy stocks
5. And if they did, why would they invest in an inflated market anyway?
6. Let alone in equities based in a country that is seemingly hell-bent on becoming a socialist state?
7. And dare I suggest the financial services industry has earned itself a craptastic reputation and most people just plain don't trust you?

You crazy hip cats on the coast keep trading amongst yourselves. Ask Dick Fuld how well ignoring cash flow and profits works as an investing strategy.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Russell Brand vs. Bob Hope

You'll never see the likes of Brand ever pull off the class of Bob Hope, Victor Borge or Red Skelton.

Waaaaaaa! What Happened to Chivalry?

I am getting old.

Matter of fact everybody is. It only goes one way.

So one of my primary concerns is when me or many other men of the Manosphere make observations about women, courting, etc., in an attempt to help out the younger men, is that it might be dated and no longer applicable. ie-girls may have changed, and hopefully, for the good.

For example, I was flirting with a girl called Amy back in the 10th grade. I saw Doug grab and rummage through a purse of a girl he was interested in and she laughed at him and tried to get her purse back. Seemed to work for him, so I decided I'd try to grab Amy's purse and rummage through it. Had a good enough rapport with her, so certainly she'd giggle as I rummaged through her stuff.

She full-bore slapped me across the face. The slap was so loud the entire class went silent (of course Amy did not have to go to the principal's office).

This would more or less set the tone for what me and my generation of men would deal with. But 20 years on, are girls still the childish, self-centered suburbanite princesses me and my fellow boys had to deal with?

Well boys, see for yourselves.

Apparently nothing has changed. If anything it's gotten worse. And if anything else, me and my aged, decrepit Gen X Manosphereites are as right as ever. Chivalry is not only not appreciated any more, it's punished. Women do not like the kind, nice beta, offering shelter in a rain storm, worse, they'll call the damn cops on him.

So ladies, go ahead and beg and plead and wish "chivalry" somehow makes a comeback. It's as likely as me talking to Amy if I were to ever go to my 20 year reunion. And boys, if you're a "good guy" remember to stay hidden. Not so they ask "where have all the good guys gone," but so you don't get arrested by the freaking cops. Sheesh!

Monday, March 19, 2012

"She's From Russia! What the Hell Does She Know About Capitalism"

Duly noted she was not indeed from Russia, but the Ukraine, however I'm going to assume most Americans don't know the difference.

That being said, I love how people dismiss the experiences of somebody who actually grew up under socialism because they want to believe in hope and change and unicorns.

Also, on a related note - "No, no education bubble to see here folks. Move along now. Back to your lives citizens."

No, It's Not "Free for Now"

Tell me how $915,000 of federal taxpayer money is considered "free." Do liberals and leftists in government and in the civilian population really believe it's "free" or do they know full well it isn't free, but say it is anyway so as not to suffer a backlash in the polls?

Oh and by the way Oregonians, I want my money back.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

The Captain's Great Badlands Hike Adventure!

Howdy Cappy Cappites. Here's some photos from the latest adventure.

Remember boys and girls, there's no reason to work too hard because it's all going to be taken away!

Make the summer of 2012 the "Summer of Enjoying the Decline!"

(the Captain made a new friend in the park).

(The Captain likes Canada Dry)

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Happy St. Patrick's Day from the Captain!

This picture was actually taken a while ago. But it was on a St. Patrick's Day.

I shall make some proclamations about St. Patrick's Day on account i'm 75% Irish.

1. Yes, Irish music sucks. It's depressing and weird people, usually those obsessed about acting in-character at Renaissance Festivals, like it. Hairy bearded fellows who play too much D&D like it. You are allowed to slam on it.

2. You may cut Irish jokes and not be deemed a racist. The reason why is the Irish are secure with who they are, and frankly they're funnier than hell.

3. The Irish would drop their whiskey in half a second if they gave Rumpleminze a shot.

4. Corn cabbage and beef is also about as good as IRish music. I will forgive you if you prefer a Chipolte fajita instead.

Your Captain just finised a 17 mile hike in Badlands National Park. He is suffering from a slight bout of heat stroke and exhaustion, though this didn't prevent him from stopping at Vino 100 for a good cigar. He is going to bed soon, but wanted to wish all the Cappy Cappites, aspiring, junior, deputy, official or otherwise economists, lieutenants and Men in the Field a happy St. Patrick's Day!

Friday, March 16, 2012

Who The Hell Was In Charge of This List????

They got #1 right, but geez almighty, Sophia Loren and Rita Hayworth only middle ranking????

But I Thought Italian Guys Were Hot?

Karen is a nice sweet buddy of mine. Bit brash, bit loud mouthed, but those are the flaws that make her all the more endearing to me. From an upper middle income family, she has visited Europe several times whereas I've never been. Also from an upper middle income family, she was afforded the opportunity to go party in her 20's and even to this day goes to the Boom-Chicka-Boom bars that I usually eschew.

However, though very different, we get along swimmingly because she works hard, she is self-supporting and she hates communism. Also in talking with with her I get a glimpse into a world I have never been in, and she gets a glimpse into a world she's never been in. But one of the more interesting observations, if not, addictions she has is "Spanish Men" or "Italian Men."

Not too long ago she went to Spain and hung out for a week. She absolutely loved it, particularly the laid back attitude and culture of the Spaniards. She said,

"Oh, Captain, you would just not fit in there. Everything is relaxed and laid back. You're supposed to take siestas during the day and have some wine. And they're always critical of American's attitudes. "Oh, you Americans. You are so tight and anxious. You work too hard. You need to relax and learn to enjoy life." They go out dancing every night and party and then wake up at 10AM and go to work. They know how to live."

Interestingly enough, it is the same with the Italians (or so I'm told by the ladies who have been there). The Italians are laid back, they know how to enjoy life. They drink their vino and drive their Vespas, they love life, blah blah blah.

Of course Karen and the varied female friends of mine are also fans of the Spanish and Italian men. Accents, olive skin, charming, they know how to have a good time. Oh yes, the Ladies of America love the Men of the Mediterranean. But there was a another funny observation she had. When I asked her,

"Well, how do they afford all this vino and dancing? How can they afford a lifestyle of just lying around and getting to work at 10AM if rents are so high in Madrid?"

She said,

"Well, all these Spanish guys all live at home with their parents. A lot of them work for their moms or fathers as well. They absolutely love their families, it's wonderful."

And that's when the epiphany hit me, as it should be hitting you right now.

It is well known and documented that the charming Men of the Mediterranean live at home in higher numbers. So much so it affects the birth rates of come countries because you can't be making babies when mom is sleeping upstairs. However, this is NOT a criticism of those men, as I do not believe it is because these men lack ambition, drive or work ethic. It is the direct consequence of having a government so large and invasive that it crowds out the private sector. This not only makes finding a job difficult, but also provides great financial incentive to not work as hard or leave home. Free health care, free education, free food, free this, free that. Why go to school, become a doctor, and buy a house when you can live at home and enjoy 4 siestas a day during a 4 hour work week?

But what is truly great, what is truly juicy is the utter hypocrisy the young women of America display. Not consciously of course, because I don't think they connect the dots. Additionally, I don't think they're contemplating the socio-economic reasons why tall, dark, handsome and charming Rafael lives at home with mom as they salsa dance with him in Barcelona tipsy on vino. But there is a hypocrisy. Anybody see it yet?

Well, let me connect the dots.

"Fernando" 30 year old accented hot Italian/Spanish guy with olive colored skin, is a great cook, rides a Vespa, drinks vino, knows how to dance and "live life" and loves his mother. Oh Fernando, take me away!

"Jon Jones" 27 year old stupid lazy American who doesn't have a job, can't find one, doesn't have a degree, plays video games all day, drinks beer, watches sports AND STILL LIVES WITH HIS MOTHER! Jon Jones, you need to man up you slacker!!!

What the ladies fail to see is that Fernando and Jon are the exact same guys, just an ocean apart. Oh sure Fernando has an accent, olive skin and speaks Italian, but they both "live life" (Jon plays video games, Fernando seduces naive female tourists), they both drink (Jon prefers Budweiser, Fernando red wine), they both live at home (though we interpret this as and applaud Fernando for "loving his mother"), and I guaran-freaking-tee you they BOTH play video games. Probably MW3 online, they're probably doing a co-op mission right now.

Laugh as we might, there are several economic lessons or observations to be gleaned.

One, is how Italy and Spain are down the road further than the US when it comes to the state replacing men. Men are no longer the primary bread winner of the family. That is the state. Men are no longer the kernel of the household. That is the state. So with the state replacing the primary roles men used to play in Italy and Spain, AND with the financial largess they provide to people, is it any wonder these guys "live life" and bang on their drums all day?

Two, is it any surprise Italy and Spain are part of the PIIGS suffering from imminent financial collapse? Yes, what a wonderful life it must be to drink vino all day, work 20 hours a week, have free health care and be able to retire at 57 AND have everything paid for. You don't need to be a PhD in economics to understand why they have such HUGE debts - because the countries come nowhere NEAR producing what is necessary to pay for all the crap they've promised themselves under the Tuscan sun.

Three, how women (in a very admitted and general brush) generally are unable to see how voting for socialism drives men to the couch, video games, beer and their parents' basement. If you keep voting for socialism you do two things to make men perpetual Peter Pan's who will never grow up. One, you will essentially pay them with a bevy of government benefits so they don't HAVE TO WORK. Two, even if they wanted to work, THERE ARE NO JOBS BECAUSE YOU'VE DRIVEN AWAY THE PRIVATE SECTOR AND INVESTORS WHO WOULD NORMALLY LIKE TO INVEST, BUT NOT IF 50% OF THEIR PROFITS ARE GOING TO BE CONFISCATED!

Four, boys, this is an important one. If you want to impress girls here but live at home, all you have to do is keep doing what you're doing now, but fake an accent, take some tanning pills and instead of saying, "I live at home with mother because I can't afford rent," say, "I live at home with mother because I love her and want to take care of her." Then POOF! You've magically gone from a "Grade A American Loser" to an "Exotic Foreigner Who Loves His Mother."

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Achievements in Bachelor History

Bachelorhood is one of those studies or disciplines that can never be mastered. You are always a student and the pursuit of excellence is never-ending. The sole existence of the field is to simply improve upon itself into infinity in an effort to improve the lives of billions of future bachelors.

But often in our relentless pursuit of excellence, we fail to look back and appreciate some of the advancements and achievements in Bachelor History. And so let me share with you one of my own achievements. An achievement I developed waaaaay back in the Dark Ages:


Ironing sucks. No self-respecting bachelor likes to do it, and it takes up not only time, but an ironing board as well. No doubt, young Bachelors, you have naturally found that a towel on the floor will suffice as an adequate enough ironing board, but that still doesn't alleviate you of the annoying task of ironing, ESPECIALLY when it comes to dress shirts.

Of all of our articles of clothing, dress shirts are the most cumbersome because you have collars, sleeves, cuffs, the front and the back. But if you're smart you'll volunteer to wear a suit at work even if it's "business casual." Why?

Because the suit covers up the majority of your dress shirt, necessitating you only iron a very small percent of the actual shirt.

If you see the diagram below, you'll notice the area within the yellow lines. This is the only part of your dress shirt that is actually exposed while wearing a suit. It takes less than 20 seconds to iron it, thereby saving you at least 4 minutes each day in ironing!

If you prorate that over a 35 year career, assuming you have to iron each day and apply the median income of a male to the corresponding labor (583 hours), that results in a savings of $13,708!

Now, you can certainly buy a couple suit jackets with that now can't you?

Send your "Achievements in Bachelor History" to the Captain!

Cute Little Sex Strike

Heh, where do you start with this?

1. Don't think there's too many guys banging down the door for these ladies


2. If they do have men they actually love and care about, presumably those men would agree with them about contraception or have similar political beliefs. So if I get this right, they're going to punish the men THAT AGREE WITH THEM and THEY "love" to make a political point?

I could go on, as there is much to criticize, but this is just another example boys as to why you really don't want to be courting feminists. Their ideology is more important than the people they (presumably) love.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Flask Maintenance

Ever since I was in college I have owned a flask. The purposes are many, but frankly, I was a poor college student and wanted to not only have free booze, but be classy when I went to joints. Plus, whipping out a nice sterling flask always seemed to impress the girls (though, this is vital boys, you NEVER let them drink from the flask, you show it to them, you take a belt from it, and let them bask in your alpha-male glow).

However, if you reach the age of 35 your flask will start to become "smelly" from all the various sorts of booze you've put in it.

"How do you clean it?" you ask?

That's an outstanding question young aspiring economist.

Here's the answer.

You are now free to enjoy the decline.

Godzilla Rationalization Hamster Correction

Sorry Cappy Cappites. I linked to the wrong broadcast. Here is the correct one, again you can skip the monologue up front (which is pretty crass as Tom usually is), and get right to the caller.. My apologies.

Your Happiness is More Important than Your Child's

Amen, sister.

Reminds me of the South Park episode where they explain divorce and happiness to Stan.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Captain's Jazz Lounge

I present to you Mr. Art Blakey

And Cheap Nursing Homes for All!

Aren't you glad that instead of training in the future generations, grooming them to take over, and equipping them with the skills and maturity to propel this nation into new levels of greatness, you instead told them:

"You're all winners!"


"Must hit the ground running!"


"Steep leaning curve."


"No, it can't be done!"


"The environment is more important than profit."


"Follow your heart!"

Because, of course, there can't be any economic consequences to that.

Hey, you crazy "hippies" from the 1960's. You enjoy that decline "maaaaaan."

I Spy With My Little Eye

The understandably ugly and detailed chart below does have a disconcerting trend about it. What it is, is the items that have shown the largest growth rates in personal consumption expenditures in the US. It is their long term annualized growth rate. Obviously the internet is #1 because of its relatively recency and booming growth. HOwever, I want you to look at the items and see if you can see what I see ( you will have to click on it). FYI, the average growth rate of all items was only 7.41%

Outsource the Children!

Damn I'm Good

This is a chart showing you consumer spending on day care and nursery schools as a percent of our total spending. It doesn't even hit 1% of total spending in the economy (as not everybody is having children and there are other items people buy aside from day care), but the percent increase is just phenomenal.

Keep having kids, but refuse to bring them up! I'm sure there are no consequences!

As the Patron Saint Frick wrote in his 17th letter to the Corinthians

"Enjoy the decline!"

Monday, March 12, 2012

Some Quick Cappy Cap Math

Did some quick math here because I read something and I couldn't believe it. How often do you find the average cost of day care on an AR 15 forum? But apparently the numbers are not false. It's true. Over $11,000 per year, per child in day care costs.

Now, permit the ole Captain a bit of Back of Napkin Economics:

2.2 children per woman on average translates into $25,665 in annual child care expenses.

Median income of the average US female. $46,367.

Net of taxes (because I know how you ladies like all those splendifferiffic social programs because you care for the children), which would be in the 25% tax bracket. $34,775.

We subtract the $25,665 from the $34,775 and you get $9,110.

Divide by 2,000 working hours and that's $4.56/per hour! (And at that rate you'll be able to pay off your $100,000 in student loans for your Masters in Communications in a short 11 years!)

Now I know there are child care credits and insurance and so forth and so on. Just as child care isn't the only form of outsourcing we pay for other people to raise our children (pre-school, afterschool activities, before-school activities, etc. etc.)

But it really behooves the question "Is it worth paying somebody else to raise your kids?" Even throwing in the male median income ($47k and change), men are merely netting $10.73 after child care expenses.

But, again, I am that evil capitalist that asks stupid questions and likes to use "facts"

and "statistics"

and doesn't understand that emotions trump reality,

and has this stupid notion that one parent should stay home to raise the little kinder and take care of the house while the other goes and works

and likes to point out a plurality of women are simply working in fields where they take care of other people's children behooving the question why not just take of your own damn kids.

And far be it from me to ask whether the time lost bringing up your children is worth the opportunity cost of $4.56 or $10.73/hr. I'm sure the career is rewarding and your family is just as stable as that blasted and accursed "June and Ward Cleaver" NUCLEAR FAMILY (booooo!!!! hisssss!!!!). Yes, let us not factor in the costs of therapists, drama, mental health costs, teenage pregnancies, booze/drug rehab, divorce and all the other wonderful societal traits associated with the latch key kids. No, those things are merely conspiracies foisted upon society by the evil patriarch and do not exist.

So ignore the Captain in the corner, for he know not what he speaks of. What does he know. He just wants to bang his drums all day and enjoy the decline!


We Will Treat Them As Equals...

and they will not like it.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Calling All Young Males

Dr. Helen is asking young males for input in her new book. Go wonder over yonder and see if you can't help contribute your 2 cents over there.

Friday, March 09, 2012

Weekend Linkage

From the front lines in Wisconsin on the Glenn Grothman saga, a female's point of view which I believe was necessary.

Dalrock advances his philosophy to realize a very common problem we face here in the freedom/libertarian/manosphere world - you can't argue with ignorance or people who do not wish to be intellectually honest.

The term "crusaderism" is spreading! I'll be dead by the time this happens, but hopefully the term will make it into the lexicon of political discussion to aptly describe the world's most evil and corrupt people.

Have kids first. Then ask whether you have the time to adequately finance and raise them.

Chained to a desk, or chained to a man
, I hope the desk hugs you back at night. But, then again, I have no skin in this game. I'm just thoroughly entertained watching full grown adults wade through the consequences of 1970's feminism.

Lord, grant me the strength (and life expectancy) to count the ways.

Union Loafers

I Hope She "Finds Herself"

Ug, you can just tell it was a mistake to bring three children into the world with this one.

But then again, never let children or responsibilities get in the way of your EPL Fantasy.

Men, you are hereby ordered to continue to enjoy the decline!

Dem Der Democrat Debt

You must watch it till the end.

I'm Just Glad I Have a Motorcycle

No, it can't be something as simple as supply and demand! It must be greedy speculators, or Big Oil! Or Wall Street!

The only thing I would add to it is how the weak dollar (caused by debt and our inability to produce anything that gives our currency value) is also to blame for high gas prices.

Thursday, March 08, 2012

That's What I'm TalkingggggBout!

The Sad State of Virginia Community College

Fly by night degree mills I can understand, but a community college, which I presume is accredited, is offering a CULINARY SCHOOL?!?!

"Culinary arts provides more than slicing and dicing?" Yeah, like try a ton of debt, no employable skills, no job offers (just ask previous years' graduates) and increased taxes to the sucker taxpayers of Virginia. Trust me kids, I KNOW, I TAUGHT AT ONE OF THOSE CULINARY SCHOOLS. GET THE HELL OUT NOW KIDS! YOU'RE BEING TAKEN LIKE CHUMPS!

Wincing, I clicked on their little "My Future at VCCS" and amongst the expected mushy, sappy, touchy-feely garbage is a video you just have to watch. Wonderful happy music, with pretty birds and smileys and unicorns, but nothing about the shocking state of the labor market for young people or anything that would help them practically.

Would somebody over at Virginia Community College please get the funding to buy 10,000 copies of my books to distribute to those poor kids? Or how about some of these conservative institutions? You know how the government buys billions of dollars in vaccinations against malaria, AID's, or whatever else to use in Africa or wherever else? How about the private sector counterpart buy 10 million copies of my book and ship them to all the students in all of the colleges in the US? Not only would it vaccinate these poor kids from destroying their futures, it's an incredible return on investment! Imagine instead of millions of idiotic, brainwashed kids voting for socialism, they're woken up and they start voting for capitalism, lowering corporate tax rates, eliminating regulation. Somebody tell the Koch Foundation, or Peter Thiel, or heck any corporation's CSR department. Ug, how the heck do you fight this sickness!?

Go Glenn Grothman, Go

Roissy has discovered the tendered legislation to acknowledge single parenthood is a contributing factor to child abuse and neglect. Though he has it slightly wrong, in the post it cites single mothers, whereas I believe the legislation cites single parents (as it should).

Regardless it is interesting to see the contrast in the comments between what I deem mature, wise, tough fatherly love-maturity (though a bit crass) and the knee-jerk, reactionary rush-to-run behind the children, claim victim status and blame sexism (all while ignoring the children of course). It's also interesting to note the Yahoo article put in "single moms" as the target of the legislation, when the legislation is targeted towards single-parents (including single dads). Then again, what do you expect from those political and philosophical sophisticates who go to Yahoo for their news.

Regardless, what we're seeing here is the Manosphere, men in general, and women who genuinely do care about family, society and the country, clashing with the established media and political forces that have benefited and profited from single-parent households via the trillions of dollars in social programs that goes to "fight" (but never resolve) the symptoms. The conflict will be interesting, but in the end the productive and responsible members of society will win, if for any other reason they're based in reality, whereas the idea "single-parent households" are in general a "good thing" is based in La-La Land.

Americana Community Bank Posts a Profit!

Congratulations are due to Americana Community Bank! For the first time in years, they finally posted a profit!

Some of you may remember this bank as the bank that I applied to in 2007, but they instead gave the job to my old boss. Americana is also the bank that when I asked them during the interview if they were making any bad real estate loans, they assured me that they had a great portfolio of clients and wouldn't have to worry about a "housing bubble." They were ALSO the bank that subsequently got a cease and desist order from the Feds.

But now it looks like they actually managed to make a profit! And I want to congratulate my old boss and the higher ups at Americana that claimed they didn't have any loan quality issues for the fine and outstanding jobs they did! It only took $14.5 million in cumulative losses, and a cease and desist order, and who knows how much in taxpayer money or shareholder money to recapitalize the firm, but by golly, you "leaders of men" and "financial geniuses" turned that bank around lickity split! I, and all the other young morons who obviously didn't know what we're talking about, salute you for the fine job you did!

As a visual aid to my youthful stupidity, I created this chart to compare what the company would have wasted paying stupid me 4 years salary vs. their minimal losses over those 4 years:

You see, this is why young people should never be trusted and why gray hair is the single, most important factor when deciding who to lead your companies. Additionally, you don't want any of the "out of the box thinkers" because they obviously never would have predicted the housing bubble and could NEVER lead a firm to greatness.


Girls and boys, let this be a lesson to you. NEVER distrust yourself just because somebody is "older" and has "more experience." Chances are, given how this country is run, you can do a better job in most industries, especially banking. Besides, if you don't have faith in yourself, you'll sell yourself short and increase your chances of being the "scapegoat" when these morons play the blame game as the Feds come in and raid your office.

Wednesday, March 07, 2012

Divorce and Religion - Two Veritable Industries

"Incidentally, her Catholic priest recommended to her that she seek a divorce (and later the Archdiocese of Washington would breezily approve the annulment, after having the sac to ask me for a $500 "donation" to finance their declaring that my marriage to her never happened and my children were henceforth bastards)."

Your Manosphere Humor of the Day

I want the bear serving the pizza from a "Beer Tree."

The "We're Americans" Bubble

After nearly 4 years of the media citing "green sprouts" or "slow downs in collapsing prices" and other such optimistic spins, there are some signs the economy is indeed turning around. Not booming (like it should based on economic history), but it is growing and and it is slowly turning around.

Naturally democrats (who have depressed and lowered people's expectations with essentially 3 years of economic stagnation) highlight this tepid recovery as proof positive Obama's economic plan is working. Republicans, actually fear it because with Obama at an incomprehensibly high 45% approval rating already, a continued economic expansion will hurt their election chances. I, however, fear this small economic recovery for another reason:

It's going to cause another bubble.

Understand Americans are incredibly and overly optimistic about the country, about the economy, about their futures and about themselves. They have this foolish notion that there is something "special" about America. That somehow America is "unique" and "we always get out of it! Because we're America!" Unfortunately there is nothing unique or inherent about America that makes us special or immune to economic collapse or the economic realities of the real world. Americanism, yes, THAT is special and unique. Free markets, free people, total personal responsibility, void of government interference and reality TV. Yes, that had never been tried before in the history of the world and it was the "Great American Experiment." But modern-day Americans are simply American't's who prefer to collect a government pay check, major in a worthless subject, expect the government to solve all problems and just plain don't have the work ethic or innovation to achieve Americanism.

Regardless of how delusional the average American is, it doesn't change the fact that they are operating under the false premise that "America always comes back." And this, combined with other ingredients makes it very likely we're going to have another bubble.

First, no matter how convinced you are "America always prevails in the end" it is ultimately the people residing in the geographical location known as America that will determine whether or not we do indeed come back. There is not an "American God" or "deity" looking down at us, intervening with his divine powers to make the land under our feet somehow magical and great. It is the people and their ability to produce, innovate, create, pursue profit, wealth and fun that makes the country great. And frankly boys and girls, we just aren't as great as we think we are.

Long term average economic growth is collapsing. It was originally 4.25% back in the 40's-60's and now has collapsed to about 2.5%.

The economic growth necessary to rationalize a genuine, booming, and sustained economic recovery is just not there. And it is no function of "monetary policy," it isn't even a function of fiscal policy. It's the fact most Americans rather watch "American Idol," major in communications, get a job in a non-profit and vote for socialism than get off their lazy asses, study up on economics, go to school for something that will produce genuine economic growth, and start voting for policies and politicians that advocate creating wealth instead of merely spreading dwindling levels of it around. Again, the country is full of American't's, not your WWII grandfather who became and engineer and could fix his own car. The economic growth just plain isn't there to "bring America back."

The second contributing factor to the "Yeah for Us" Bubble is the harshness and length of the current recession we're in. People, psychologically, are desperate for a recovery, whether we have the economic growth to make it a reality or not. And given the length and the painfully slow progress the economy has made, any little sign of a sustained recovery, no matter how weak, is going to be heralded as the greatest news ever. All one has to do is look at articles from 2003 when the unemployment rate peaked at 6.3% under Bush and the media ripped him apart and called the economy "the worst in 50 years," versus today where the people have become so desperate (and effectively brainwashed) that they're thankful that the unemployment rate dropped below 9% and a two-freaking-month extension of the payroll tax actually makes headline news.

And finally, there is the 9,000 pound gorilla in the room I'm amazed nobody on the left talks about, and that is debt. Forget wars, forget "big oil," forget "evil corporations." The majority of debt is caused by social spending we just plain can't afford (look it the freak up instead of thinking you know more than me). Not only have we gone into debt by multiple trillions of dollars per year for the past 3 years, given future commitments to entitlement spending such as Medicare and Social Security, our current debt levels are dwarfed by what we must incur in the future.

But debt is a crafty little creature. To simplify it for the non-economists out there, debt you can consider to be "future anti-economic growth." Kind of like matter and anti-matter. You can spend the money today, but in the future when it needs to be paid back, it counters economic growth. Also making matters worse, it's not like we're spending our trillions of dollars in debt on veritable INVESTMENTS. We giving the majority of it away to people who plain don't provide anything in return. Welfare recipients, social security recipients, WIC recipients, colleges and universities, Solyndra, GM, the "chillllldren," retirees, medical bills for people on the verge of death, even wars fall under this category. This isn't to insult or criticize these people or items (though some certainly do deserve criticism, ridicule and an immediate cutting off of funds), but to point out the fact NONE of these expenditures provide a return. It's not like you're lending money to IBM to build a new factory in Georgia at 7% and their ROI is 13%, paying back not only the taxpayer, but creating jobs and providing a net return of 6% to the shareholder. No. The $89,000 in medicare you spent to keep Grandpa Jones alive another 6 months is GONE.

Such debt levels, debt commitments and the fact most of it is merely wealth transfers that have no return, will inhibit any long term economic growth (not to mention drive productive people and businesses away who don't care to be around when the tab comes due).

Now, you combine all these factors and you now have the perfect storm for another bubble.
  • A delusional population
  • desperate for any good news,
  • believing in an almost religious belief that "America always wins,"
  • none of whom seem to be willing to go and produce something but all want to major in "music therapy,"
  • who also coincidentally keep voting for socialism
all residing in a country that;
  • has deteriorating and declining long term economic growth
  • crippling levels of debt
  • all of which was wasted (not invested) on items that will never pay them back
  • and a population so ignorant about basic economics they cannot vote real leaders to effectively lead it
Mix that all in with a dash of "entitlementitis" and BLAMO! Congratulations, you got a bubble that dwarfs the insanity of the tulip bulb bubble, the dollar volume of the housing bubble, and the the arrogance of the Dotcom bubble!

Of course, where will we see evidence of the bubble occurring? Asset prices as always, my dear Watson. Asset prices.

The stock market is overvalued if you want to look at it using P/E ratios or dividend yields.

I can't believe the US Treasury is getting as cheap of interest rates as it is.

The only reason the US dollar has recovered slightly is because the US' debt situation sucks only marginally less than Europe.

Why people keep going into debt to finance an education when there isn't an economy to provide them any jobs, I'll never know.

And let's not forget about that retirement bubble too. Yes, you just keep investing in that 401k because the government told you to. Never mind the ROI is laughable. You just keep plugging away thinking you're going to "retire" at, well, any age.

In the end I do know I'm fighting something more difficult than a 250 pound jiujitsu black belt. Because, whereas I can take on a 250 pound jiujitsu master, at least I can engage him (albeit, very briefly). When it comes to convincing people of the real and dire economic consequences facing the nation, and their galactically optimistic attitudes towards the future, I'm dealing with a mental disease. I'm dealing with people who have a psychological problem. I'm dealing with delusional American't's whose perceptions of themselves are only outdone by the enormous economic problems this country has. And since the situation is so hopeless, and there is such a discrepancy between what American't's think they're capable of versus what they'll inevitably deliver, there is, of course, only two things to do:

1. Sit back and watch reality crush their little "Yeah for Us" La-La Land Bubble


2. Enjoy the decline!

Tuesday, March 06, 2012

You Can't Teach "Leadership"

Just as you can't teach integrity or morals.

But MBA schools and colleges sure can charge a lot of money to a lot of naive people making them think such things can be "taught."

Which behooves a question (that I ask in my book):

"How, precisely, does a 22 year old fresh out of "business school" think he's smart, able or experienced enough to lead anything?"

I know, I know. Why ask the question.

The Captain Goes Shopping!

In addition to an AR15, book sales have allowed me to purchase two new items.

A new flask and a new "tactileneck."

I do believe that if you really want to be a true Cappy Cappite watching "Archer" is a must.

Race Card Trumps Gender Card

Language warning as the University of Man, is well, staffed by men and they have taken the stance (which I agree with) that they're men and they're going to curse if they want to curse.


East Indian doctorate, with an OK command of the English language is talking to a co-worker about said co-worker's mom who recently passed away. Inquiring about the funeral process, the East Indian is confused about buying a plot of land to bury the mother in and asks

"Why not burn her and put her in box?"

Said co-worker is not offended because the East Indian doctorate is obviously concerned, but just didn't know enough English to say, "are you going to cremate her?"

Two catty #@#$&%'s overhear this and file a harassment complaint.

Said co-worker informs HR he's not insulted and wants the complaint dropped.

The HR *&%$# says the women were offended by proxy.

See what our fine East Indian friend and said co-worker came up with as a response.

Doug Short Is the Captain's Long Lost Brother!

Mr. Short, I believe must be my long lost twin brother.


More gray haired.

Probably not a salsa dancer.

But my long lost twin brother none the less.

He focuses on Tobin's "Q quotient" whereas I am lazy and just look up a mathematically similar measure over at Dr. Robert Shiller's office, the S&P 500 P/E ratio.

The moral of the stories are the same.

The stock market is overvalued. It always has been since idiotic politicians decided us people were too stupid to know what to do and engaged in the largest and (soon to be) most damaging social engineering project ever - the 401k/IRA/government ordained retirement program.

Let's essentially ordain the stock market as the ONLY means by which you can save for retirement. AND HEY, GUESS WHAT, let's give 300 million Americans a TAX INCENTIVE to throw their money into the stock market regardless of whether or not its a good buy. No, that won't cause a bubble now, will it?

I'm not a conspiracy theorist, but something tells me Wall Street might have had a role in getting this legislation through.

Regardless, it's nice to see somebody older than me (and therefore wiser, because I know how you baby boomers like to dismiss any human without gray hair as a "moron") point out what I've been pointing out since (cripes???) 2006???

But, no, no. You kids go ahead. I'm just an evil, party pooping republican trying to bring everybody's good time down. You throw your money into the S&P 500 when it only has a dividend yield of 1.8% (Herb, point of tax preference duly noted). I'm sure some spectabulous Obama Unicorn will fly over and fart economic fairy dust to overcome all of our economic problems and all of you baby boomers will retire in comfort, as will, of course, all of you Gen X'ers and Gen Y's who believe in social security, medicare and unicorns that fart economic fairy dust.

I shall part, with something that will probably be lost on most of you pinning your hopes on the woefully underfunded 401k plan:

Enjoy the decline!

Monday, March 05, 2012

Why "CSR" Won't Ever Work

Corporations, in their idiocy to pander to every possible market segment, failed to think long term what would happen to the business environment if they pandered to communists masquerading as "environmentalists."

While corporations think they're gaining a whopping 2% more market share by paying lip service and platitudes towards "going green," it's a fool's errand because the political forces that forced these corporations to set up CSR departments in the first place never really cared about "the environment." "The environment" was merely a tool for a larger, ulterior motive - socialism.

However, it seems some corporations are done being useful idiots.

Sunday, March 04, 2012

William Johnson is an Overpaid Baby Sitter

Boo, freaking hoo.

Something tells me he doesn't have to worry about health insurance.

Getting mighty tired of adult-children from the suburbs who think this teaching racket is a "tough" job. Just once, just once I'd love to see one of these pansified girly men work a 20 hour shift, or heck, I'd settle for them working the dog shift for 3 months and see if they need a therapist to address their sleeping problems and what the lack of sun does to the human mind.

Bunch of spoiled little children who merely aged past the point of puberty but never grew up or manned up and think government jobs are "tough."

Crusaderism Consolidated

Had a couple requests for this a while ago. Finally got off my lazy butt and put all these seminars into one consolidated list:

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9

Now look, I know you yahoos out there who read this blog. You'll click on the first link. watch it, then the second, maybe the third and then stop. You miss the good stuff at the end.

So start with Part 9 and work backwards. And yes, the intro on part 1 is long, deal with it.

Friday, March 02, 2012

Attention All Cappy Cap Lieutenants - You Have a Mission

If you choose to accept it.

Forbes writes an article about a Wisconsin legislator aiming to bring some semblance of shame and responsibility to single parents deeming it a form of abuse or neglect. I wouldn't go so far as deem it "abuse" or "neglect" in today's legal terms, but it is at least damaging and is one of the biggest problems facing the US. Even the wording used said it's a "contributing factor" which I believe is quite accurate (and I believe statistically provable if we correlate divorce and single-parenting with crime, abuse, neglect, etc. etc. - but let's not let facts get in the way).

Of course the author and his readers mocks the Wisconsin legislator, presumably because they've never been brought up in a single family household and write off the damaging effects of single parent households as "bogus" or "hilarious." You know, all you latch-key kids, all you fatherless or motherless children who had to grow up in the 70's and 80's. You're morons if you think divorce or single parents were bad. You should be thankful you were brought into this world by two people incapable of bringing you up under a stable household. How selfish you must be. You want BOTH a mother AND A FATHER? Selfish little brat. Get in the car, I have to drop you off at day care while I get my degree in Cosmetology on the taxpayers' dime.

If there is a call to arms, this is it. Another aging journalist in the echo chamber media writing off and mocking somebody who has taken a politically unpopular stance. A stance for OF ALL THINGS (and here's the irony)

the children.

Not "the chilllllldreeeeeen" like the Wisconsin teachers union hide behind to steal more money from the taxpayer.

Or "the chilllllldreeeeen" like when politicians want to get you to vote for them.

Or "the chilllldreeen" when non-profit outfits like the UN or what-have-you milk you for more money and never seem to end child poverty because, well, their primary goal is employment, not solving hunger.

No, Senator Grothman is actually going to bat for the children and is putting his political career on the line for it. This is the type of guy you want in public office. Somebody who is not a politician, will hold his ground, make unpopular decisions, and is (GASP) altruistic and principled.

Lets see if we can get the old fogies at Forbes to realize there might be a generation or two younger than them that had to deal with their mistakes when they hooked up with somebody that they'd inevitably divorce, but NOT before bringing some innocent children into this world.

You can go make a comment. We'll see as they say over at SDA, "If SDA gets results!"

Oh, and PS - Rick, hope you like cheap nursing homes.

Weekend Hot Toddies

I didn't know how to spell "Toddies" and, yes, I was too lazy to look it up. However, tomorrow it will be warm enough to do some scouting in my new home and so I shall drive north and potentially west this weekend to scope out some new mountain hikes as well as fossil hunting grounds. In the meantime you WILL read the following links.

Compliance is mandatory.

Conformance is not optional.

You will obey.

No society will ever become great turning away free medical help from Good Samaritans on fanatical religious grounds. I'd like to tell them to "enjoy the decline," but they never ascended as a society, and so cannot enjoy a "decline" because they're already destitute.

Your Little Known History Lesson for the Day. Who knew!?

Good news everyone!

I still say we have an "Open Season" for bankers.

The Scafetta Model seems to have the motive of discovering the truth rather than bilking naive taxpayers addicted to the "Green Religion."

You do not have to lie there and take it. You can do like I did and move to a province that is more hospitable to sanity, profit, progress and reason.

Could Hollywood perhaps make a movie about this? I know I'm asking for crazy stuff here. Because I know we all want to see more Julia Roberts and other aging actresses in more "romantic comedies," but, you know, just for S's and G's make a movie about this.

Couldn't have happened to a more deserving group of incompetent, lazy parasites. Burn, baby, burn!

Hipster jokes

When only idiots breed, the collective IQ goes down the toilet. That is the abbreviated version of this study. Of course, they can't come outright and say that, but I can. My "g" is Victorian Era Level. Polite, equally high "g" hat tip.

How now Brow Cow? Got what you asked for eh? I'm sure that the billions of years of evolution resulting in "male" and "female" genders in practically ALL animals was just a fluke. And a fluke to be ignored and fought against with no ramifications. Besides, we all know inherent genetic programming is sexist. You should ignore it. Nay, fight it. I'm sure you'll win in the end.

I remember teaching at a community college. I also remember being stupid enough at first to believe I was brought there to teach them. While tech school and vocational school is beneficial to the student, sadly there were so many other programs at the schools I taught it, it was obvious they were just there to make money and take the kids' money. "Cosmetology," "travel and hospitality," "culinary school," these and other "programs" at the schools were nothing more than scams. This only confirms an epiphany I had when I had to tutor a poor student who WAS mentally impaired and was still allowed to attend school - the education industry LOVES mentally impaired or "problem" students, because they can milk more money from that disadvantaged soul.

Don't see Lorax unless you're one of those milquetoast conservatives that like to complain about socialism, but then support whilst incidentally brainwashing your kids.

And finally, today's music therapy major brought to you in part by "Worthless."