Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Words That Prove You Have a Worthless (and Likely Leftist) Job

Of the many things I loathe about socialists and leftists is how they create words to make themselves sound smarter than they actually are.  Academia is a perfect example of this, and women's studies are the epitome.  Just read through any course description and you'll see mutli-syllabic words that were completely fabricated for the sole purpose of masking the fact the entire "profession" is a farce and its participants idiots.  However, things like "praxis" and "rubric" are usually relegated to the world of academia and are obvious as they are political.  But, sadly, socialists and leftists cannot all be employed in academia.  They need to find other sources of employment, and natural as it is to leftists, they will try to find work that is:

1.  not real work
2.  but still feeds their ego

This search for faux-work-but-our-egos-need-to-be-stroked type work has resulted in a bevy of new and hypocritical terms that are dead give-aways to two things.

1.  Your job is not a real job
2.  You are likely a worthless leftist living off of the taxpayer or charity for your meaningless job

Thankfully, over the past two years I've been jotting these terms down as I've come across them to create a sort of compendium which will allow us to truly understand what these words mean and to identify and expose those worthless people who work in these worthless "careers" for the parasites they are:

Initiatives - this is usually used in the public sector, mostly schools.  It means to "initiate the creation of another program that is going to cost the taxpayer more money."  The goal of an "initiative" is that it hopefully goes from a program into a full fledged department.  For example Michelle Obama would love it if her "initiatives" on obesity evolved into the US Department of Obesity.

Outreach - Usually associated with a program, "outreach" is just a euphemism for "paying unemployable college graduates to go and force something on society that nobody wants."  It belies the true suckiness of the program when you have to "outreach" to clients to get them.  For example Obamacare has a lot of "outreach" because nobody wants it.

Diversity - Diversity is nothing more than the socialists' attempt to replace character with race/sex/ethnicity/etc.  In doing so, socialists can argue for the stealing of other people's money based on race/sex/ethnicity, etc.  "Diversity" is also rapidly being pushed by HR departments to replace "profit" in corporations, once again eliminating any need for hard work, character, excellence or achievement.

Raising Awareness - If "raising awareness" is in your job description there is a 100% chance you are a worthless person with a worthless job.  Like "outreach" "raising awareness" again aims to create a problem where there is none.  If it was a real problem people would know about it.  Ergo, since socialists thrive on concocting problems and the ensuing government money that is sure to follow to "solve the problem," "raising awareness" is nothing more than future job security.

Community - This refers to the crime ridden crapholes 50 years of democrat policies have turned most of our major metro inner cities into.  There really isn't a "community" as much as there is a group of people who hate each other, but make for a convenient group to champion the expenditure of additional government money on.  Ergo, it's for "the community" is really "I'm going to use this community to get my non-profit government grant money so I can pay myself $89,000 a year as the director with no intention of actually helping out the community."  It's exactly like a drug dealer's market, but more unicorny and flowery sounding.

Invest - This term has nothing to do with actual "investing" as that would imply some sort of positive rate of return.  No, this is a euphemism for "pissing away," "wasting" or "pouring down the toilet bowl" taxpayers money.  Usually "invest" precedes some noble cause as a cowardly tactic to change the focus from the pissing away of money to the noble cause.  eg:

"Investing for our future"
"Investing for our children"
"Investing in our education"

For those of you with real jobs and who work for a living, simply replace "invest" with "pissing away" and you will be able to translate.

Change Lives - Change lives means "me telling you what you're going to do with your life because I think I know better because the government told me so."  Usually people who want to "change lives" go into education or child psychology because they think it is their domain or jurisdiction as a 19 year old girl to tell 5 year olds how to think and behave.  You can also see "change lives" in what is nothing more than a travel agency masquerading as The Peace Corps with spoiled suburbanite kids using "changing lives" and "helping the people" as an excuse to travel.  You will also note not one person employed in this field has managed to change one person's life for the better.

Provide Leadership - Kind of like "raising awareness" nobody was asking to be led let alone asked for a leader.  But don't let that stop you from "leading the community."  Remember, these jobs aren't for the people or the purported intended recipients.  These jobs are purely for you and your ego.  And nothing boosts the ego by being a self-proclaimed leader.

Leader of what?

Who cares?!  You're "leading."  And if that means being in charge of 5 people carrying clipboards around, then by gum, you have just as much leadership skills and experience as a first lieutenant from Iraq with 3 tours under his belt.

Advocate -  Whatever it is you're advocating it's likely taking my money and then giving it to somebody who cannot speak for or defend for themselves.  Thankfully, you're all too eager and willing to take my money or non-profit money to be an "advocate" for some group or another, but understand and understand this well - we all know you don't give a damn about said group.  You're primary concern is that you get paid for easy work.  ie- you use these genuinely disadvantaged people for your own financial gain.  You're despicable.

****

Naturally there are other words and terms that I have yet to happen upon.  However, if you have some, please enter them in the comment section below.  I would like this to be the most thorough resource of "faux" job duties leftists like to heap upon themselves.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

I would add "sustainability" to the list, but that probably falls under the category of "initiative."

A "Sustainability Career Fair," whatever the hell that is, took place this afternoon in Milwaukee. From the event description:

"One of the Sustainability Summit’s missions is to foster and stimulate dialog between employers and potential employees.

The Sustainability Career Fair will provide a relaxed atmosphere for multi-disciplinary employers, students, and professionals to connect, forge relationships, promote career opportunities, and discuss the sustainable business practices that are increasingly important in economic development."

Okay, but are any of these "multi-disciplinary employers" hiring? I thought career fairs entailed résumés, applications, interviews, and the like. This just sounds like some neo-hippie executive confab.

JR said...

Agreed, Anon 1. Sustainability is a favorite word of the left. To them, I'm sure Solyndra was plenty "sustainable", all it needed was some more taxpayer bailouts.

For myself, though this isn't really political, I've come to loathe the word "solutions" in company "about us" descriptions. Every company these days offers "solutions."

To date, I've seen "marketing solutions", "publicity solutions", "accounting solutions", and pretty much any kind of "solution" you can imagine.

It seems so stereotypical and throwaway. You'd think organizations would want to differentiate themselves, rather than emphasize meaningless bullshit jargon. In the case of what you've covered, Captain, the jargon protects them from accountability and gives them convenient fallback buzzwords.

The corporate world, academia, and liberal politics are the three places that I can read a full sentence, but not actually glean any meaning from it.

Wraith said...

It's exactly like a drug dealer's market, but more unicorny and flowery sounding.

I beg to differ. At least the drug dealer gives you something tangible for your money.

RobertW said...

Brilliant article. Look, worthless freeloaders has been a problem for all societies. While not ever desirable, their damage was mitigated as long as their percentage of the population was reasonably small. The problem now us that they are growing so numerous that they are disincentivizing the productive segment of society on which the whole thing depends. An

Anonymous said...

I'm convinced that any proclaimed "Social Media Expert" is worthless. So you're really good at tackling the intricacies of that monolithic program called Facebook? It takes a deep skill to boil down a CEO's press release into thirty 140 character tweets? You're not a guru, you're a future unemployment statistic.

Eric Mueller said...

I think "raising awareness" is the one that drives me nuts the most.

"We're 'raising awareness' for breast cancer!"

Me- "I'm 'aware' of it. You can leave me alone now."

When I reviewed George W. Bush's ghostswriter's book, I commented on how proud he said he was of how they were able to "raise awareness" for AIDS in Africa (using taxpayer money, of course). I said I expect better from a Harvard MBA.

Anonymous said...

God this article reminds me of the one ridiculous commercial that was trying to get funding for improving the American schooling system. It didn't really bother me until one of the woman (go figure) in the commercial stated something along the lines of "In Europe (Or some random western European country) kids are already learning algebra at a significantly younger age and have higher math scores than American children. We need to figure out a way to improve the American Educational System so our children won't be left behind." What do you mean figure out a way!?!?! Just go to Europe and see what the fuck they are doing in their schools!!! You don't need millions of dollars to figure out a puzzle that has already been solved.

Anonymous said...

One term often used here in Canada that grinds my gears is 'Social Justice'. To the leftists, it's a noble cause, but to the rest of us it just means being taxed to death so some useless pieces of sh*t can live more comfortable lives than us...

P.S. If Justin Trudeau wins the 2015 federal election, you have my permission to invade us. ;-)

Anonymous said...

The use of the word "Smart" as an adjective or adverb is a big tip off to me. Here in SE Michigan we have the SMART(SE MI Area Regional Trans) bus system. Does anyone here want to buy it?

SM777 said...

"God this article reminds me of the one ridiculous commercial that was trying to get funding for improving the American schooling system. It didn't really bother me until one of the woman (go figure) in the commercial stated something along the lines of "In Europe (Or some random western European country) kids are already learning algebra at a significantly younger age and have higher math scores than American children. We need to figure out a way to improve the American Educational System so our children won't be left behind." What do you mean figure out a way!?!?! Just go to Europe and see what the fuck they are doing in their schools!!! You don't need millions of dollars to figure out a puzzle that has already been solved."
---------------------------------

Well, what they DON'T do, on the European continent, is Fluoridate the water.

Guess what they do in Amerika.

Anonymous said...

Cappy,

I emailed this post to the Mayor and Rookie.

SP

Captain Capitalism said...

Thanks Steve!

Anonymous said...

How about facilitator?