Tuesday, May 14, 2013

I'm Not Simon Cowell, I'm Aaron Clarey

I rarely post people's comments.  This is in large part because I am lazy and it takes effort.  However, every once in a while somebody will say something absolutely brilliant that it mandates I post it.

This is the opposite.

This is a response from (what I believe to be) a drunk 34 year old woman.  She is responding to this post from several years back (emphasis mine).  I have done a copy and paste job so you can see her post in true, unedited form.

I cannt stand guys like you. You think ur all that and she was probably interested in you because, I don't know UR ok looking and near her age?? What makes you think you deserve a model in her 20's? Who are you? Simon bleeping Cowell? Wouldn't you rather have a women who is mature and experienced and confident because she now KNOWS who she is not like some flaky college girl and since your talking about marriage is must be on your mind so a women in her 30's is looking to settle down. She and already got the partying out of her system and WANTS to get married. So go ahead and be like that. It's your loss not mine I'm 34 and there R still LOTS guys to date. I post a dating profile and get 50 responses in 20 minutes. So I KNOW I'm still wanted and by the way u know whats funny you went to all the trouble of that making that graph and I didn't even bother to read it. :) 

Normally I would dissect this, but I have a feeling this is meat too tempting to the hungry lions so I'm going to let you guys light this one up.

Have fun boys and girls!

PS - And for cripes sake, with the questioning of my looks thing again!  Can't my critics at least look me up on teh interwebs to see if I'm just an ugly, pissed off loser in his mother's basement?  Here's a picture of me teaching a salsa dance class in my "mother's basement" playing video games and watching porn because I can't find no girlz.  Cripes.


Logan said...

nice beard man.

Anonymous said...

Thai picture is clearly fake because the laws of physics dictate two people can not occupy the exact same space at the same time and you are missing a leg.

Anonymous said...

i almost think it's too textbook to be real. but then i think back to real conversations i've had and i know it's the genuine article, hitting that wall in a ball of flame.

Anonymous said...

Read that paragraph (in italics) left by that toxic female "I cannot stand guys like you......"

With every breath (typed word) she can muster, she gives herself away. And a manospherian can see those screaming red flags as if trained in the jedi arts of understanding what a woman REALLY means when she opens her yap. It's like miles of Matrix code unravelling before your very eyes...and you see the code for what it REALLY is:

• I can't stand guys like you.

I don't care. Your approval is worthless.

• What makes you think you deserve a model in her 20's?

The same thing that makes a model in her 20s think she *deserves* a multi-millionaire with options, maybe??


• Who are you? Simon bleeping Cowell?

First is I can't stand guys like you....
and then it's WHO ARE YOU????

• Simon Bleeping Cowell?

That's gay.

• . She and already got the partying out of her system and WANTS to get married.

TRANSLATION: She gave it up for free to jerks for the last 15 - 20 years - while saying "no" to every kindhearted guy who asked her to dance - and realizing she passed her window of opportunity instead of securing a husband during her most attractive years of riding the cock carousel..... she's now *WANTS*the type she rejected to come along and pay the biggest price a man can possibly pay for used up pussy with 100,000 miles on the odometer. And she says "I WANT" as if men everywhere should now give a SHIT what SHE wants.

"I WANT to get married" (when no man is proposing) is her machine-gun hammering the PANIC button.


• Since your talking about marriage.....

Illiterate, and doesn't even know the basic 2nd grade difference between your and you+are....

• so a women in her 30's is looking to settle down.

Who cares what that kind of woman is looking for?? Women don't take an active role in "looking" anyway. It's the MAN that makes that kind of initiative anyway (and she will EXPECT him to!).... while she just sits back with her arms folded only choosing from the pool of men who show any interest. Women are LOOKING now?? Yeah OK, sweetie... when you approach me and ask for my number and take me out and show me a good time and pick me up and pay for it and take me out dancing and kneel with a diamond mined by a child & mounted on a platinum band..... maybe THEN a MAN will give a shit what a woman in her 30s is "looking to do".

Jesus Christ.

• I post a dating profile and get 50 responses in 20 minutes.

EXAMPLE: "Yo gurl. Lemme holla at ya. You want sum FUK??"



• So I KNOW I'm still wanted .....

You must be really proud to be "wanted" as a cum dump.
Men also "WANT" to enjoy a nice BM on a daily basis too.
You rank right up there in value as a toilet seat.

• u know whats funny you went to all the trouble of that making that graph and I didn't even bother to read it. :)

While she went through all the trouble of totally misrepresenting herself and no man worth anything would bother to believe it. (inserts gay smiley icon because, as a woman, I don't know how to say anything remotely amusing with words so I need to resort to emphasizing that with a colon and a closing bracket)

Women are easier to read than playboy.
Thank you for translating your bullshit into MANGLISH.
Loud and clear. Roger that. You take care now.
And don't let the door hit your vagina on the way out.

Suzanne McCarley said...

"Drunk 34 year old woman."

Sweetie, you are way too kind!

I think "Heroic Single Mother" is the only theme she skipped; otherwise she totally nailed the "Flailing Hamster Slamming Into The Wall" script. Is she for real or did you just get punked?

Apollo said...

Not enough time to read a graph (perhaps pictures are too intellectually taxing?) but certainly enough time to write a barely coherent rant about your shameful preference for young and nubile women. Although its kind of a mystery why she feels the need to do this at all seeing as she already apparently gets so much male attention....

Anonymous said...

So that's what happens when you sever a girl's spinal cord. Impressive work.

Max said...

The girl doesn't get it, probably because she is drunk. Her typos aside she displays exactly the kind of sentiment men don't want. I doubt we are against people equal to our age, but what she thinks maturity often seems to me more like vanity and arrogance. The beautiful thing, at least here in Europe, is that younger girls often still are genuinely interested in you. They are actually fun to be around, many older ones have forgotten that trait.

ace said...

I'm with 10:05 anon. It's like a manosphere writer penned this comment as a parody. It stands on its own: perfect, crystalline.

handbanana said...

welp, no need to read a single word she said.

I did enjoy the bulk of the old post you linked to. I didn't read it all, because... it's pretty long.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
adiaforon said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Karl said...

that picture rocks, Captain.

Anonymous said...

You can't do that with a woman who's over 120lbs!!!

UberrRich said...

My favorite part is when she says " mature woman " despite the way she types.

Anonymous said...

Hamsters gonna hamst, baby! You keep on tellin' yourself, Sweetie that real quality men want you...uh huh, suuuure they do....

Jennifer said...

This woman is an embarrassment. Her entire self esteem framework is wrapped up in how many men she can get to fawn over her. Pathetic. Maybe being hot in her 20's was enough to get the attention she so desperately desires, but she's 34 now. My age. Way too old to be a brain dead bimbo with a tenuous grasp of the English language.
Thanks for sharing, Cap. I always enjoy the opportunity to point and laugh.

dannyfrom504 said...

.....AND dip. lol.

Captain Capitalism said...

Several comments have been deleted because of unnecessarily crass language.

Clean it up guys. I don't like deleting comments that are great, but call all women "bitches" and refer to their genitalia.

Aurini said...

"I got the partying out of my system."

Wonderful, so can I come over and clean up the wreckage, please?

King Alpha said...

This female need to get into reality.

AuricTech said...

To paraphrase Lady Jessica Atreides from the first Dune novel, you displayed "a silver sequene top and black slick slacks," and this woman claimed the outfit was cut to her fit.

I am even more amused that the commenter stated that a 30-something woman, wearing the above-described outfit to a bar, has "already got the partying out of her system and WANTS to get married." After all, nothing says "mature" and "looking to settle down" like sequin-encrusted clothing.

Matthew King said...

Photo looks like you've got her in a mortal leg lock. Which would explain her delirious smile.

archerwfisher said...

Hilarious. She doesn't seem to realize... anything, really. She wants to keep pretending that she's a hot 21 year old in college. She doesn't realize, 97% of those messages she gets on dating sites are guys looking for hookups or FWB's--partly because that's what college girls give out for free. She'll be lucky if five out of a hundred messages are from guys genuinely interested in a solid relationship.

Anonymous said...

Harsh reality is setting in and she's fighting it the only way she knows how: denial and bitchy attacking.

It's probably not good for my immortal soul, but it's funny watching how women react to the power switch after they turn 30. All those years when nice, good looking, and hard working guys like me got rejected in favor of jerks.
Now, at 38, I have my pick of women and I've chosen a beautiful, hard working and sexy woman 15 years younger than me.
Man that pisses off women my age.

Days of Broken Arrows said...


Anonymous said...

"Wouldn't you rather have a women who is mature and experienced and confident because she now KNOWS who she is not like some flaky college girl"

No. I really don't. How come I'm not entitled to my preferences?

A woman who still behaves like the flaky college girl but doesn't have the looks to back it up is rather confused about who she is. The point is, she doesn't know.

Anonymous said...

Sorry. I'm not interested in someone who has more mileage on her than the Apollo command module,

Also, what is your health status? I don't want to take a spin on the Wheel of Disease.

I will not be looking at your age of woman when I earn 300k a year. If you didn't want me when I was working like a dog to get here, I definitely don't want you when you are worn out and only interested I only.

And what exactly do you have to offer to a relationship? You definitely don't sound like someone I would even want as a friend, let alone as someone to share my life as wife and lover. You are not worth my time and money to take to dinner, let alone date.

sysadmn said...

The cover for your next book - "How To Pick Up Women".

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