Howdy all,
I am currently writing the chapter on girls for my new book "Bachelor Pad Economics." I have a streamlined and succinct outline, and pretty much know what I'm going to write, but I also appreciate having more than one brain on this subject.
If any of you could be so kind as to list the major and key tenets of wisdom we have theorized and flushed out in our little itnernet endeavor I would appreciate it. I think I have "most of it" but I know I am missing somethign.
So you know how broad or specific of examples I'm looking for I already have:
Leanring to ride motorcycles
Vasectomies/protecting against false pregnancy claims
The use of booze to get laid
it's cheaper to get a hooker than to find an actual girl
etc. etc.
In general any specific advice that I may miss. Please post in comments. My thanks in advance.
Cappy
27 comments:
One thing I would point out--with how easy it is to hook up on craigslist, or sites like adultfriendfinder, I'd be pretty shocked if hookers actually turned out to be cheaper than finding a woman. I mean, unless you're talking about some skank who just wants a $20...
get an old car, or an old bike, and learn how to fix it. You'll save money.
Bonus points if your car looks like a primered out pile of shit on the outside, but is well maintained.
Prime example, I have a 1982 VW Diesel pickup, I use for hauling crap, cause I have a very small subsistance farm I'm putting together. It looks like crap on the outside. On the inside, new shocks, new bearings, new front end, new motor, new trans... you get the idea.
Avoid -old- japanese motorcycles, it's hard to get new parts.
Personally, I favor harley, or BMW.
Logistics - Having an apartment that is very close to nightlife or college campuses will make it much cheaper and easier to get laid. Walking distance to several decent drinking establishments is ideal. Even if your rent is higher, you'll save money because you wont be blowing your wad getting to and from desirable nightlife.
In response to Sewer Dweller - Old Japenese motorcycles are great. (mid 70's and later) Any moron with a socket set and a service manual can fix anything on them. Parts are always available. Good luck finding a coil for a similarly aged BMW.
Cappy,
Google:
The Sixteen Commandments Of Poon
and "Briffault's Law"
Everything a young (or old) man needs to know about women..
~Survivorman
EVERY interaction with a female ought to be covertly recorded with a spy cam to protect against false allegations, ESPECIALLY first dates!
@archerfisher21
It might be easier using those sites, but there are likely to be far more attention-whores, especially if they're hot, because of all of the thirsty guys out there.
Probably better to so a sex-tourism tour to SE Asia. There, you could find plenty of young girls for cheap, and you get to see them in person first. ;)
Learn how to do wiring and simple jobbing around the home. Brickwork, concrete, carpentry, fencing, paving, all useful for anything from maintenance to making a chicken-pen.
Grow your own vegetables. If you have the yard space chuck in a half-dozen fruit trees that produce in different months of the year. C. M. Sturges of ApocalypseCometh has PDFs of survival-style books, old stuff that we used to do as a matter of course: canning, drying, etc.
If you can find it, look for "The Hard Times Handbook" online. That got me through a difficult two-year patch.
durrr
the man-o-sphere dont got no brains.
yer all a bunch of misogynistic, evil losers that hurrrt my feelings.
I bet you live in your mothers basement
If the economy was better I would suggest that a young man get himself either a superbike such as the Hyabusa, BMW S1000RR, one of the new Ninjas or a sports car.
When I was young, in my first job I was prepared to buy a Ferrari 308GTS. Unfortunately I was talked out of it and have regretted it for the last 45 years. I would have had some fun, sold the car a few years later before settling down to married life. As it turned out I ended up with a Corvette instead of a Ferrari.
I met my wife who then made me get rid of the Corvette since I no longer needed a "Chick Magnet" :-( We're still married by the way so life isn't really all that bad.
Cheap living tip? I'm a cocktail guy; I love the craft and I love the history. I'm not afraid to spend good money on quality drank. Buuuut, pound for pound, the cheapest and tastiest way to get a buzz has to be the Calimocho - it's roughly equal parts cola and cheap red wine (something you can buy by the gallon, capisce?). Lots of ice. Exceeds expectations every time.
learn to cook. you'll save a ton of money, and it's a panty dropping skill like no other.
Don't forget, buy a bottle of Grey Goose once (or find an empty one somewhere) and refill it with the cheapest vodka you can find. Mix with cranberry juice, serve to your one night stands.
A few years back, I wrote a book entitled "A Young Man's Guide to Life".
By the time the book was finished, young men could no longer read.
In keeping with the Ferrari theme, do what you wantt to do NOW, while you are young.
I wanted to learn to fly, but delayed. Now it's out of reach.
For us older gents: you're no longer the "bad boy" chick magnet so be a Man Of The World: knowledgeable, educated, experienced, and a little bit dangerous to know. Your target demographic craves both stability and adventure. Know their inner hamster and feed it accordingly.
Ride a bike. It doesn't have to be big or fancy but should easily pull you and a girl. Never decline an opportunity to put a girl on the back of your bike, even if it's just a run up the street to the convenience store.
Learn to mix drinks, and learn how to come up with good drinks based on what is there. For example, I once took over the "bar" at a gathering where all they had was rum and a blender. Found some vanilla ice cream and orange juice, made blended drinks, and had the girls lined up all night. But don't over do it yourself. And if you have to get a girl drunk to bed her, you're doing it wrong.
Know how to entertain: be able to tell a good story, pick out a tune on the guitar or piano, sing, quote poetry you've written (then drop the aside remark that you're a published poet). My go-to here is improv blues (you only need to know three chords) that poke fun at women in general and the hostess in particular. This will guarantee you an adoring crowd of wet panties and make you A list party guest.
The 16 Commandments mentioned above are pure gold. Like all tactical nuclear weapons, use them carefully.
And of course be a fully self-realized and self-sufficient man who can design, accumulate material for, and expertly construct anything from a gourmet meal to a small house. Be the man who can fix anything from a leaky toilet to a broken heart.
The book has already been written:
http://www.amazon.com/The-Bachelor-Home-Companion-Practical/dp/0871136864
On old Japanese motorcycles: I restore old motorcycles as a side business/hobby. The parts are out there, just not from conventional sources. Ebay, CL and lots of resellers on the internet are yor friend. Also VJMC, AHRMA, and other clubs/support groups are a lot of help.
I am both old and Japanese, so I am a little bised :-)
"Joe Bar said...
In keeping with the Ferrari theme, do what you want to do NOW, while you are young.
I wanted to learn to fly, but delayed. Now it's out of reach."
I totally agree and sympathize. When I was young, I wanted to fly, skydive, and scuba dive. I was lucky, in an odd way -- since I was not rich, handsome, or a jockhead the girls treated me like crap; instead of spending my meager money on those bitches, I spent it on flying lessons and skydiving until I had to give it up because it just got too expensive.
While I was in the Navy I learned to scuba-dive when I had the opportunity -- I enjoyed it more since it wasn't as expensive as flying and a dive (depending on your max. depth) lasts longer than you typical skydiving 'drop'.
Flying was fun, but it was way more expensive, required a lot more time and money to learn, and was regulated a lot back in the 80's (I don't like to think of how it is likely over-regulated now).
IRT wimmen, not only is it cheaper to 'rent' an escort (in the long run), chances are that the escort has less "mileage" on her than the typical skank product of the modern 'hook-up' culture. Chances also are likely that the risks of STDs are approximately the same; just beware of false "rayyype" charges and paternity claims.
To Obrero -
Coils for a BMW are identical to any 6 volt VW beetle coil, and can be had at any auto parts store (I checked before writing this). Same with wires, and spark plug caps. Points can be had as well, but why bother with points when there are something like... 4 different manufacturers that I know of that make an electronic ignition for old bmws.
There's a long list of cross-ref parts out there. And plenty of new ones, as well. And not -nearly- as expensive as you might think. That, and there's a certain style to a BMW.
As to my opinions about older japanese motorcycles, I did a lot of rebuild work around 2002-2006 on japanese bikes. The cost of some parts was -insane-. Accelerator pump diaphram for sixty bucks??
Back on to the topic at hand, which is, as I understand it, cheap living, and cheap fucking...
For sheer pussybait a Harley can't be beat. And an older Harley is suprisingly cheap to own and maintain, assuming you can read, and turn a wrench.
In my mind..
Pussybait rankings.
1. Harley.
2. Customs.
3. BMW.
4. Everyone else.
Reliability/cost of ownership/ease of repair
1. BMW.
2. Everyone else'
3. Harley.
4. Customs.
These are personal opinions, and worth -exactly- what you pay for them, no more, no less.
A hooker might well be cheaper than a real girlfriend, but masturbation is cheaper still. And I've never understood what a man would get from a prostitute that he can't get from Mama Thumb and her daughters.
As a woman I think I agree with Red Green - if you can't be handsome, be handy!
Some mention should be made of Bachelor Object Migration/Equilibrium.
Vasectomies ...
Most of the high "failure rate" comes from guys who are in too much of a hurry to get back in the sack to be "raw doggin'" it.
Avoid becoming a statistic.
If you're going this route, do what the doctor says post-op, then do what the doctor says afterwards. Clean the pipes once you're clear post-op, and I mean clean 'em. You should be "workin' it and jerkin' it" better than a freak show Miley Cyrax to prep for that first clean test.
For paranoia, get an initial clean test, then go back in a few weeks and get another clean test. Get the doctor to give you a statement that says you passed two clean tests along with the dates -- in fact, get two or three copies of that.
See if you can get one of those notarized and then stash it with someone you trust.
In the event that some chick you've banged wants you to be the "baby daddy", you simply go get another test done. It's going to come out clean, but since there's that "possibility" of a positive, you simply get that business out of the way so there isn't any doubt.
You can manage that "reveal" to the "shopping for baby daddy" chick in as classy or as crass a way as you choose. My favorite is having a "It's Not a Baby Shower", followed by kicking her out of your place.
Yeah, I'm an asshole, and your point is ... what?
Finally, if you are actually put in that situation and you do not do your best "RUN FORREST RUN" impersonation, you will most likely deserve the unenviable future you'll have that includes changing poo-drenched diapers on a kid that isn't even yours.
It's a lot easier to enjoy that decline when you're shagging sluts and slapping butts. :-)
Want some actual medical advice? Go look up "Doctor Snip" -- he has a clinic in the Seattle metro area, and he has plenty of useful medical advice.
Not advice, so much as an observation: Alphas charge women rent when they move in. This never even occurs to Betas, they fall for the what's his is ours, and what's hers is hers BS.
I do pretty well for my self, got a nice little piece of land, cut down some brush and make a pile and let it dry. spread the word and people will bring you coolers of liquor and food to enjoy and the company of friends and drunken shenanigans. its also a really good reason to invite that girl you got the number for to come up to your place and drink.
Not sure if this will be mentioned in another part of the book, but...
Slow cookers. Slow cookers for the win.
20 min prep time + 5 hours of doing your own thing = about a weeks worth of tasty, healthy meals.
What does this have to do with women? I regularly inform bitchy, entitled wimmins that they do nothing that a slow cooker and a fleshlight can't do just as well. You will make better decisions about women when you are not dependent on one.
Didnt read any of the above advice so if these are mentioned before understand why.
Bachelor home gym.
Barbell, bodyweight sqauts, pushups
cheap easy to move around with
Bachelor wardrobe
2 dress pants black
4 dress shirts
1 dress shoes
1 jogging/hiking shoes
4 tv shirts
1 fleece
1 warm jacket
etc... depending on location but you dont need much.
Cut the cable its all female oriented crap anyways. Just get a netflix acct. For sports head to a neighborhood bar, much more fun watching sports with others anyway no need to pay for nfl/nba etc packages
Maybe something about taking care of your stuff and only buying quality stuff. So learn to polish dress shoes, fix your electronics instead of just immediately buying a new gadget
Do a cost benefit analysis of getting girls through day game vs night game. Following tom leykis advice just meeting for drinkings and then dump them if they havent put out after 3 dates.
For a vasectomy recommend men get their sperm frozen I wrote about it here http://www.returnofkings.com/4605/how-a-vasectomy-improved-my-game
my sperm bank charges me 800 dollars for 4 year plans.
I would do something equivalent breaking down slow travel. For instance cost of traveling is much cheaper when you spread it out over months instead of a week. Men can fund this buy teaching english, working in a expat bar/hostel or just saving. Consider hotel in thailand 35 dollars a night but you can rent a serviced apartment for 300 a month. Once you stay longer than a few weeks your cost per day of travel can be very low even when you factor in flight costs. Also as a bachelor with no commitments you can travel off season or look for the best rate www.skyscanner.com (search whole year)
-bacon
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