Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Leasing Beauty

I have a friend who is now on his third Russian mail order bride.  Every stereotype you are having right now about him is correct.  But what I couldn't understand is after the first two ditched him (one with a kid), cheated on him, and split once they got citizenship, why he opted for a third.

But the little hot librarian in my mind decided to search through the ole Captain's mental archives and pulled something she deemed relevant and might explain it:

When he was looking for his second wife he was insistent on showing me her picture (along with all the other girls he was considering) on the dating/mail order bride site.

In hindsight what this tells me is that he never viewed these women as potential spouses, mates or wifey like material, but rather things or objects (albeit luxurious).  He was literally shopping for a young, hot, woman in an online catalogue, no different that if he were looking for shoes on  What's worse is that despite the HA-YOOOOGE price he has paid for his past two mail order brides, he is going at it again, with surprisingly little remorse, let alone fear.  In other words his hind economic-lizard brain has made the calculation that it is worth it.  It is worth the risk and the likely price to have a hot, young mail order bride that he probably really couldn't care less about emotionally.

But then it occurred to me what was really happening on an economic level:

He was merely leasing beauty.

While we can all understand men wanting to be with pretty women as opposed to ugly ones, and preferring to have sex with hot girls instead of fat ones, what I cannot understand is the psychology that drives some men to pay to merely be with and seen with a hot chick. But just because I personally can't understand it, doesn't mean it doesn't happen and doesn't mean there isn't a market.  This is a real economic phenomenon that I cannot deny exists.

However, my best economic explanation of what we are viewing (and thus an explanation of why some men do this) is that it is a separate economic market from the traditional sexual market place. In the "normal" market place, normal men and women meet, date, court and kind of stumble their way towards marriage.  I would estimate this accounts for 70% of men who (while maybe not all Clive Owen) are capable, no matter how clumsily, of invariably having enough charm and wit to score a mate.  Of the remaining 30%, I would estimate 25% are either just fine on their own, MGTOW's, not interested, or are too afraid of rejection to go and attract a mate.  But there's that 5% remaining who have no game or charm, but DO have enough money to essentially lease out women's attention at very high financial and emotional rates, and these guys make up this obscure market.  But to them it makes perfect sense.

They don't need to go to clubs.
They don't need to work out.
They don't need to practice Walter Matthauish and Cary Grantish charm.

They just need to pay a price.
 They just merely need to "buy" her attention.

And even when the attention dries up or she just skips town, the prospects of participating in the sexual market place to find another girl "the normal way" is still too daunting.  So daunting in fact they'd rather "play it safe" and get MOB #2, #3, #4,...#n as long as the money doesn't run out.

I'm no fan of the meat market.  Been there, done that, and I was what could have been considered "very successful."  But I'd rather take my chances there than going to the lease a whore mail order bride market.


Anonymous said...

"While we can all understand men wanting to be with pretty women as opposed to ugly ones, "

I don't know Captain. Pretty women are made with the same building blocks as ugly women, just shaped differently.

A pretty woman is just an ugly woman shaped in a beautiful manner.

If I took a pile of bullshit and shaped it into a top model and painted skin color on top of it, guys would go mad at it not knowing it's made of shit.

I prefer to stay single with no kids.

Anonymous said...

"what I cannot understand is the psychology that drives some men to pay to merely be with and seen with a hot chick. "

It's probably the same psychology that drives the well to do and not so well to do to buy expensive sports car.

You said it yourself. Status, prestige and envy.

Instead of a trophy car they want a trophy blonde just to show off.

But just like your advice to not buy sports cars to impress chicks, those who "buy" mail order brides can't afford to keep them.

KJE said...

Most of us trade our cars in every few years. I don't see a problem here if we plan for it.

Dan said...

Sports cars can be genuinely fun to drive, and properly maintained, can last decades.

While the marketers may focus on status, the automotive engineering leads have a genuine passion for quality and the budget to realize their vision.

A quality BMW is easier to maintain than many cheaper cars due to information available from enthusiasts and consistently well made parts.

While it is often better to get a car on the used market after fully depreciating, if you do have the money know that you can't take it with you when you die.

Anonymous said...

Still cheaper in the long run.

ReijiAsama said...

I was tempted by the foreign bride thing, too. But in the end I decided not to.

I guess the main lure - and the main marketing point of the sites promoting this is believing that women from countries such as Russia are somewhat different - more "traditional", feminine, accepting of men, etc. Roosh was also saying that on his site.

But there are two traps here: as you correctly pointed out, meeting a "traditional" woman does not relieve you of being the best you can be - even a traditional woman would not like to get tied up to a slob.

Second, I'd like to believe that women who register with these websites are "special", i.e. worse than average, if one is looking for a potential bride. Can you put yourself in her place for five minutes and imagine what kind of psychological background a woman from Siberia would need to have in order to put herself virtually for sale to any chump living in small town USA? Think about opportunism, ruthlessness, and decisiveness. Hardly wifey qualities. Of course she will divorce that chump from Indiana as soon as she gets the chance and move to bigger and better things. That's how she could escape from Siberia in the first place. What you really want is the woman who is still in Siberia.

If you want a traditional foreign wife, there is no avoiding the necessary steps; like Roosh, put your life in order, learn the language, have the guts to travel to the foreign country yourself and seduce a woman like a man, not counting on some website.

Karl said...

Captain, do these MOB's come with their own fur hat like the Russian honey in Hogan's Heroes?

Mark said...

If you look at it from the same viewpoint, guys who hire escorts or buy lapdances at strip clubs are leasing beauty too. There's just some guys whose primary interest in women is their beauty. I don't see the appeal of escorts but I know a wealthy guy who uses them. If you have a whole bunch of money, the cost of an escort is only a small percentage of your income. Your time is of more value and you might not want to fritter that away chasing women, especially if your main interest in them is just sexual. In economic terms, you would always focus on your comparative advantage. If you are good looking and charming, you'd use that in getting women. If your talent is making large amounts of money, you'd focus on that and then just use a small amount of the money you made to get women.

Anonymous said...


If my talent was to make money, I'd just use money to make more money.

The time spent and money spent chasing women represents time and money not used to make even more money.

Herb Nowell said...

This is merely the Costco version of strippers and escorts.

Talk to a smart stripper or escort and you'll find they don't the majority of their money doing lap dances or having sex.

They making by being nice to a guy and talking to him.

I know...when the wife first left I was a regular at a strip joint on Thursdays driving home to CT from Boston. There was a girl there who knew when to watch for me and came over to self me a table/lap dance first thing. I bought 2-3 a night and they all consisted of her talking to me, listening to me, and in general cuddling and being nice to me.

You keep telling us the most interesting thing in the world is another person. We've reached the point where a large number of men at some point in their life decide the best strategy is to pay another person to pretend to like them.

I completely understand your friend has found out how to buy in bulk and at cost instead of small retail packages. When the only reliable way to get human companionship, even the fast food version, is to buy it people will optimize their purchases.