Tuesday, January 21, 2014

The Clarey Test

Permit me a bit of bravado, but hear me out at the same time as I think this will have some practical use in the political world.

It is now practically a daily event we are confronted with some elitist dumbass that thinks they're smarter than everybody else and is therefore entitled to be a tyrant telling us what or do.  It could be a media personality, a professor, a politician, but you know the type I'm talking about.  People who who are such ego-maniacs they think they have the right to butt into our business and tell us what to do.

Now I have a nose for them, and over time developed kind of a litmus test of sorts.  I test my hunches by taking a gander and asking my readers to research somebody I link to, whose profile I haven't seen, to see if they have a worthless degree, have a trust fund, and in general fit the profile.  But it gets tiring for me to ask, "OK lieutenants, anybody want to guess their degree, whether they live off of mommy and daddy, never worked a real job, etc. etc?"  So instead I'd like to codify it and simplify it by creating "The Clarey Test."

The Clarey Test is simple.  It's a scale of 0-4, 0 being a "fail" and they are not the leftist, crusaderist, socialist, tyrant scum I think they are, and 4 being a full-blown, ego-maniac narcissist that views other people on the planet as serfs that should serve them, and consequently confirms my suspicions.  There are four categories or "traits" for which the subject can get one point (with me kicking around some degree of allowing for half points or fraction of points).

Worthless Degree
No significant private sector experience
Currently working in government, academia, non-profit or some other such industry (bar military or cops)
Hail from rich or well-to-do parents

So President Barack Obama would score thusly:

Worthless Degree - 1
No private sector experience - 1
Currently in government - 1
Hail from rich/well to do parents - 1

Total score = 4 = pass

Haley Koch

Worthless Degree - 1
No private sector experience - 1
Currently in government - 1
Hail from rich well to do - 1

Total score = 4 = pass

Matt Forney

Worthless degree - 1
No private sector experience - 0
Currently in government - 0
Hail from rich well to do - 0

Total score = 1 = fail

You get the idea.

Now I'm more than open to any ideas, recommendations, and changes, but the larger point would be to come up with a numerical score or just use the test as a label.  If it ever gains traction you could literally say, "Oh yeah, I heard that Joe Schmoe wants to provide more money for single mothers by raising property taxes, looking into his background and he totally passed the Clarey test.  3.9!"

So let's give it a trial run shall we?  How about we score up Dr. Kirk J. Schneider.

I'm going to go with 2.0 (keeping in mind I haven't looked him up, just read Dr. Helen's post on him).


everybodyhatesscott said...

This test is even more fun if you do it solely based on the persons picture and you probably still get 90% of the accuracy

Picture of Kirk Schneider


Progressives have a distinct look

Anonymous said...

Wouldn't you want a pass to be someone worth listening to, and a file someone you should ignore? You seem to have it the other way around.

Also, I would assign a -1 to negative traits and a +1 to positive traits, so if they add up to greater than 0 they are worth listening to.

Matt Forney

Worthless degree: -1
No private sector experience: +1
Currently in government: +1
Hail from rich well to do: +1

Total score = +2 = pass.

President Barack Obama

Worthless Degree: +1 (law is OK)
No private sector experience: -1
Currently in government: -1
Hail from rich/well to do parents: -1

Total score = -2 = fail

Peregrine John said...

I scored a 2. Crap. I mean, I'll cheerfully tell anyone that I should not be taken seriously, but really, I have got to get out of academia.

Southern Man said...

Looks like I'm a three! Pay NO ATTENTION to the Southern Man behind the curtain!

Worthwhile degrees: PhD Physics and MS Computer Science. That BA in music...doesn't count, but it was fun. No points.

No significant private-sector work (worked my way through college flipping steaks and driving delivery trucks, and had a profitable sole proprietership building PCs for a while but that was out of the garage). One point.

Spent my entire professional life teaching, both undergrad and grad students. All STEM, but it's still a point.

Parents were solid middle class, which puts them in the top 5% of world incomes. They stayed together, raised me in the church, taught me the value of both hard work and education, and made sure I had a shot at college. Horray for white USA Christian privilege, and another point for me!

J. McMantis said...

Self scoring like the navel gazer I am, what does No Degree rank? I'd rank a 0-1 depending but am not one to listen to.

Jane the Grad Student said...

I'm undoubtedly biased, but shouldn't there be some sort of adjustment for academia? I can see getting the +1 for being the Joe Schmoe professor of Ancient Micronesian Basket Weaving, but what about Fred Schlub, PhD, who's bringing in mad-hot grant money for cancer research or robotics? Or does Dr. Schlub get the point too, on account of that grant money mostly being from taxpayer sources?

LongLostFriend said...

Worthless degree: Psychology
No private sector experience.
Currently on the faculty of Saybrook University.
Couldn't track down family history.

That ranks him at least a 3.

Interestingly, his specialty is transpersonal psychology, more commonly known as New Age gobbledygook.

Anonymous said...


Worthless degree: 0 (Construction Management)
No Private sec exp: 0 (All Private Sector Exp. 14yrs)
In gov't: 0 (No)
Well off parents: 0.5 (Middle Class)


Priestley said...

Does the military count when you are talking about a government job? Because if so, I only have one point on me. Well I work as a military reservise for a armored regiment "part-time" and the other time I spend as an industrial drafter for a pharmaceutical company.

chris said...

Darn. I score a two (I think), and Southern Man should also score a two.

Worthwhile degree -- MB (read MD), but worked in hospitals and academia: only private sector jobs as a student; parents solidly middle class but lived in a working class enviroment.

that is 2.0 using your method, or 2.5 if you allow for parents being married, and raising me in the church.

The difference between me and Southern Man is that my second degree is a Masters in Public Health subspecailising in epidemiology and I am the equivelent of Board Certified. So I do not have a fun degree

Anonymous said...

When he states well to do parents, what he means is mega-millions or most likely above 500K a year type of family. Alot of you guys are giving yourselves points in this category; it is not needed.