Thursday, January 09, 2014

Today's Office

brought to you in part by:

"No Illegitimate Children" - Did you have children you couldn't afford, too early, and with an unreliable partner?  Tough shit.  You don't get to enjoy this.  "No Illegitimate Children" - it's the least you can do for yourself and your kids.

Also in part by:

"High Taxes" - Whoa!?  A 50% tax rate if I work hard?  No thanks, I'll just go minimalism and get by on $15,000 instead.  High Taxes - when you want the producers to quit.

Also by:

"HR Chicks" - Nothing says, "we say our employees are our best assets, but we really don't mean it because we're going to let 25 year old ditzes do the first screening interviews" than having HR interview your applicants.  Ensure you drive the most productive and intelligent employees into a location-independent career so they can smoke cigars while working.  "HR Chicks" - they're dumb, they don't like "The Maths," and drive all real talent away, but hey, at least you meet diversity quotas!

And finally:

"Our Great Insurance Plan" - When your employer offers you a "Great Insurance Plan" that is 4 times what you can get for a catastrophic plan on your own, you'll realize they're having your youth and health subsidize all their old, fat, and lazy employees.  "Our Great Insurance Plan" - another way to fuck over the younger generation!


leeholsen said...

very jealous, but much thanks to you my eyes are open in all sorts of ways.

i expect i'm have the same opportunity in 5 years as i am elimiating all debts, becoming a minimilist, now living on 50%and putting away 50% of everything i get and upping my skills to be able to telecommute and any woman coming in from here on out knows she's 2nd to me because unlike most of the world; i'm planning to survive on my own.

Anonymous said...

At 15,000 a year....that is a cheap Obama policy for you! How much does it cost you after all I am paying for it. Cheers!

Captain Capitalism said...

Anon 834

Nothing, for insurance anyway. I got a really low catastrophic policy.

I'm sure you're subsidizing the roads, defense, and some of the "tax credits" I get while I file. but as for direct transfers, nonthing. I have yet to collect a government check.


Donttreadonmatt said...

I thought catastrophic plans are now illegal under Obamacare? The Dictator waived the requirement for a year, but catastrophic plans are gone, yes? You need to have birth control coverage and maternity care now, right?

1984 said...

captain, I have a COOKIE for you, I think I didn't tell you about it until now, I promise it will be SWEET, to anyone who spares few minutes to watch this video between minute 17.08 - 17.45
Its about the migration of poor people to rich countries who carry with them problems, because of the leftist, as you can guess. So here it is the subtitle first, and then the link to the video straight to minute 17.08, the last part is EPIC:

“There are millions of flights in both directions from the poor countries to the rich countries every year, and the microbes DONT KNOW ABOUT PASSPORTS, and they cross from Mumbai to New York, just as fast as they go from New York to Mumbai, and when there are outbreaks… of drug resistant tuberculosis.. those can travel around the world, and they POSE A DANGER TO ME, AND TO YOU GUYS !!!” - just one of the problems of overpopulation.

Kristophr said...

Unrelated but hilarious:

Anonymous said...

That's the kind of office that men like and women can't stand.

Kristophr said...


You miss the point of enjoying the decline.

If the socialist retards insist on making the productive pay for slackers, then by all means, slack off, and stop being productive.

The voters have spoken!

Buy those foodstamp lobsters, and buy that government subsidized obamacare plan.

Have fun, and slack off.

Faithless Cynic said...

I have been working an $11.00 per hour temp job for the last 15 months. The job is set to end in June. After I am laid off, I get a lovely 26 week paid vacation courtesy of unemployment. I owe this vacation to you Cappy, because you prompted me to ask the forbidden question. " Why should I support a system that screws me at every turn?"

newrebeluniv said...

"Our Great Insurance Plan"
Now on a national scale, so it's illegal to say "no thank you".