I had ran into a buddy of mine earlier this afternoon who I haven't seen in about 2 years. He's a professional, works hard, stays in shape, and is the "in-demand" type of guy that every corporation wants to hire. We caught up quickly because he had to get back to work, but among the standard, job, health, "still riding motorcycles" sort of questions, inevitably the issue of him dating came up.
He said, "Yeah, I'm kind of seeing some one right now. Not terribly excited. Has a 4 year old child."
Without yelling too loud so as not to disturb the public, I said, "Really? Jesus Christ, another fucking single mom?"
He replied, "Yeah, well, at our age (41) most women have children. It's either that or date a 24 year old child and I'd rather just blow my brains out."
He was right, and it's a paradox most of my male friends face. Once you're over 35 or so you can no longer tolerate the mental pain and anguish that is known as "20 something girls." But if you do date older, it's practically a guarantee the women has spit out some other guy's child. And so millions of men every year choose between a rock and a hard place, wondering what it was like in the 50's when you could have BOTH a sane, young, 20 something girl who was NOT towing some other guy's mistake around with her.
But then something dawned on me as I headed back home.
First, this wasn't my only male friend I knew who was 35+ and childless. I knew many more. Matter of fact all my male friends are childless and over +35. And they all had the same complaint - it was practically impossible to find a woman 30+ who wasn't a single mom.
Second, why was it nearly all of my male friends didn't have children? Wouldn't I know one or two single dads??? I needed multiple hands to count the number of single moms I have as friends, but when it came to single dads it dawned on me I know NONE.
This stark contrast made my economic spidey senses start to tingle. And so, once I got set up at my cushy security guard gig, I delved into the world o' teh interwebz, and my my, the information I found.
On the face of it, logic would dictate that there should be an equal number of mothers as their are fathers. It takes two to tango, and by biological necessity one child has ONE father and ONE mother. But the huge anecdotal evidence I had in front of me, where I knew NO single dads, but a ton of single moms, suggested it was possible for there to be more moms than dads. And if you permit yourself the right combination of cynicism, misanthropy, and pessimism, you're mind can easily find the reason why there might be more moms than there are dads, resulting in a mismatched market where there is a flood of single moms, and not enough childless women.
A sole woman having multiple children with multiple fathers. Or another way of putting it, fewer men impregnating more women, disproportionately lessening the number of childless women compared to childless men, resulting in a shortage of childless women (or the reverse, a surplus of single moms).
At first I tried to find some data on the number of childless men and women in America. This proved problematic and there was no obvious data available. However, I did find some data in Australia and extra feministy Norway. For men Down Under, between the ages of 45-59 13% of them are childless compared to only 10% of women of the same age. This 3% difference is not necessarily enough to trigger the drastic price changes that usually come with genuine shortages or surpluses in economics, but leave that one to Norway.
In 1985 only 14% of Norwegian men were without children by the age of 45%.
By 2013 this had increased to 23%.
Naturally, this could have been for any number of reasons. Economics, progressive credentialism, politics, etc., But if you looked at what happened to Norwegian women of the same age, you see it's largely a female decision. In 1985 only 10% of Norwegian women were childless, compared to 13% in 2013. Norwegian women were having roughly the same number of children, but with much fewer men.
Mother's Day" news release and "Father's Day" news release. Alas, I should NOT have been looking for statistics on "childless" men or women. I should have been looking at the opposite side of the same coin - the number of mothers and fathers in the country. And it's about as lopsided as Norway.
As of 2010 and 2012 there were 85.4 million mothers impregnated by 67.8 million fathers. Yes, I know men die earlier, but we are talking a nearly 26% GAP between the number of fathers and mothers. If we take the nominal figures (and ignore deaths of fathers) these 67.8 million fathers effectively took 17.6 million single, childless women off the market by impregnating them. And when you consider there is roughly only 120 million post-pubescent American men in the country, 67.8 of which are already fathers, leaving only 52.2 million childless men, that 17.6 shortage is HUGE! There is an effective 33% SHORTAGE OF CHILDESS SINGLE WOMEN FOR THEIR EQUIVALENT CHILDLESS SINGLE MEN!
The result is nothing short of insulting.
It's not just my buddies' "bad luck" they can't find childless women, but it has been women, consciously and purposely sleeping with men AND bringing their babies to term, who then either file for divorce, or never got married in the first place, returning to the dating market thinking having another man's child is not an insult or repulsive to men who were infinitely more responsible. Worse is the utter absence of shame or responsibility, or even being cognizant of what they've done. I'm all for giving women the green light to slut it up, ride the cock carousel, and do whatever they want to do sexually. But without the traditional norms and social values, specifically shame and the insistence on a nuclear family, women actually think they've done nothing wrong bringing a child into a broken home, and are even insulted when you have a microscopic modicum of self-respect and say, "yeah, I'm not dating a single mom."
Alas, the tragedy is no matter how right we may be, and no matter how much sanity this brings all those responsible childless men explaining "YES, there is indeed THAT MANY SINGLE MOMS," it doesn't change the fact there's that much of a shortage of childless single women. And with such a shortage, the price you are going to pay is immense. So immense, you (as you no doubt have noticed), mathematically you are likely to be forced to date and marry a single mom.
Just do yourself a favor and insist on her knowing who is settling, who is in charge, and who has the final say in all matters adult.