Remember kids, today is Anti-Earth Day. Remember to smoke and drink and burn stuff and have fun and enjoy life and in general do what would piss off leftists.
Your captain would like to take his motorcycle out today and run his errands, but you see since there are a bunch of brainwashed, self-righteous brats out there who instead of doing real work will apply value to themselves by really doing nothing, but claiming "they're helping save the Earth." Thus the Captain is compelled to undo all their "hard work" in saving the planet by polluting more than they save. Ergo, instead of taking out his motorcycle that gets 65 MPG he's going to take his 8 cylinder Chevy that gets 16 MPG and drive it all over tarnation.
And did the Captain fail to burn all that painted wood he had before? Well a pointless bonfire will be called for (of course while I'm smoking a cigar. Might have two cigars today because nothing pisses off a leftist when you do something you like to do with your own money and your own life that they don't approve of.)
In any case, make sure you do these things because it's not that we're against recycling. We're not against people wanting to go green. It's the sanctimonious, judgmental bordering on "nazi-ordering you to do so" attitude of the hypocrites this of this society who like to bark orders at other people that need to be slapped in the face and told "oh yeah? YOU'RE going to "save" the planet?"
Not if we have anything to do about it.
4 comments:
All hail anti-Earth day!
I'm gonna shove my electric space heater into my deep freeze and check back every couple of hours to see which one is winning.
...I stole this line, but it's was too good to pass up :-)
Unfortunately by taking out that SUV you're emitting fewer real pollutants (carbon monoxide, oxides of nitrogen, particulates) than that motorcyle does. Not that I care, there are too few motorcyles on the road to make a measurable difference in air pollution.
"oh yeah? YOU'RE going to "save" the planet?"
--I'm eating the cows.
Cap'n - Never fear, for I am here to cover any shortfall.
Not today, but sometime when the weight restrictions are off in my neck of the woods, the local volunteer fire dept will be coming out and will burn my dilapidated barn right down to the ground. And the DNR approved the permit.
Now normally, you'd want to save the large timbers, but that's hard to do when the darn thing could collapse at any time.
And if they feel like it, they'll burn my brush pile too - this is no little brush pile, no this one is as big as a two car garage.
I think the burn party will cost $500 and a couple of cases of cold beer waiting back at the firehouse.
Money well spent to tweak the noses of environmenalist wackos.
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