Sunday, April 19, 2009

How the Youth Shot Itself In the Foot

I love short pieces like this.

But i LOOOOOVE it even more when English majors get hit upside the head.

I can see it now. An advertisement for majoring in English.

"Hey kids! Tired of trying and having to do all that stupid math?

Want something that is easy to major in and won't require one single calorie of energy to "earn" your degree in?

Or do you just plain want to admit right up front and announce to the world "hey, I'm too lazy to do any real work and want rest of you to take care of me, but I want to still feel like I'm doing something so I can claim I'm independent and trick myself into not feeling bad about my parasitic existence?"

Then major in ENGLISH!

Yes, English is the language you're all familiar with because, well, it's the freaking national language and you've been speaking it since you were 2.

We don't know why universities offer program, let alone graduate programs in the language, but if you plain have no temerity or work ethic in you, piss away 4, 6 or 8 years of your life (and your, your parents' and the taxpayers' money) studying ENGLISH!

Benefits include;
  • Looking for work
  • Learning nothing new but socialist and communist philosophy posing as an English degree
  • How to indoctrinate children so they too can become the future English majors of America
  • Working for a non-profit or the public sector in some make-work job so you can feel good about yourself
  • Asking yourself at the age of 23 why you can't find a job
  • Voting democrat/socialist your entire life so other people's money can be confiscated to make a job for you
Don't be one of those "squares" majoring in electrical engineering or computer science who invariably produce everything in the economy and support themselves. And certainly don't become a tradesman with all their "stupid" ability to "fix cars" and "build houses" and "repair plumbing."

No, become the pinnacle of economic deadweight!

MAJOR IN ENGLISH!!!"

Enjoy the decline, kiddies! You've earned it!

19 comments:

NMH said...

He was probably told by his parents to do and study what you love, and the money will come.

I feel sorry for the guy. He was likely misled.

Anonymous said...

It sure sucks when reality knocks your teeth in.

At what point in this charade do we start holding universities responsible for the self-serving rape of their students' finances? They're just blood-sucking leeches who prey on stupid kids by illy advising their clients to go into fields in which they know there aren't jobs.

Why is this not fraud?

Anonymous said...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1378298/Attractive-women-attach-photo-CV-likely-employed.html?ITO=1490

Awww yeaaah

Anonymous said...

I think you slightly adjust fire on this one.

He/She is an idiot not because of the degree necessarily, but rather the field that they chose to go into very rarely hires teachers with a masters and zero teaching experience.

The rest of the article is simple whining that he/she deserves better because they have a degree. The comment about people making more without a college degree makes it painfully obvious that there wont be an economics course on his/her transcript

Anonymous said...

https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/Parasitism_%28social_offense%29

Push for total communism. Only then will they learn the lesson of their follies.

Escapist said...

Hey Captain, I see the turn to the socialism by both the lefty youth and even some of the edgy e-righties, and its pretty disheartening. There's a stat that almost 90% of the US population would prefer debt disaster to _any_ mods to Medicare - that includes young people, who of anyone, should be in _favor_ of saving the situation. Paul Ryans's proposals are too little too late, but at least he has the decency/courage to put the country's interests ahead of political expediance.

Anonymous said...

I'm a talented writer. It's not a very useful skill; my eloquent prose has yet to resolve any substantial problems. Math is more versatile.

Anyway, doesn't majoring in English seem ridiculously lazy? You don't even have to read the books! Just skim through some Cliff Notes the night before the exam; you can pretty much bullshit yourself a 4.0 GPA.

I wonder if any colleges tell their students “this degree is for entertainment purposes...” They'd be rather unscrupulous institutions if they led students to believe useless degrees are valued in society...

S. Harvey said...

I've never understood the liberal arts, why pay to study music, philosophy or English, why not do that on your own for the cost of library card?

No some could argue you can learn math at home as well, which is true, but its pretty hard to setup that chemistry lab or that fluids lab that every engineering school has in the basement.

sth_txs said...

I read the comments about the English major's plight. It is sad that so many people think that government can actually 'do something' to resolve any of this other than take a hard look at the taxes and regulations that inhibit job growth.

Some of these majors like English, political science, and others should be for people who are well off and have nothing better to do.

Anonymous said...

CAPTAIN YOU ARE SO BLIND-SIGHTED. I have seen English majors going on to become CEOs and businessmen and congressman and morticians.

Captain Capitalism said...

Aside from congressmen (who don't produce anything of value), name one that become a CEO AND OF A SUCCESSFUL COMPANY. Not some trophy wife whose husband gave her KHOMA money and she's the "CEO" of some stupid trinket shop or "consulting firm."

Mortician???

My grandfather was a mortician.

You don't become one with a degree in English.

Obviously that person went on to get a degree in mortuary science.

Eric said...

I believe Steve Jobs has some sort of liberal arts degree. However, he is not the brainchild behind the engineering advances and making the really cool new technology, his focus is on interface design and user experience.

Pulp Herb said...

I'm going to half defend this kid because of one passage:

OK, America, you told my generation to go to college. Now tell us how to survive entry-level wages and harassing phone calls that our loan payments are late? I know what I'm going to tell future generations: Think twice about college. Collection agencies generally don't care about your ruminations on "Paradise Lost" or Shakespeare. And sure, I may know the answer to a few more "Jeopardy!" questions than some, but my old textbooks definitely aren't keeping me warm in my sister's garage.

Youth learns for elder's. It is a fundamental idea in the higher mammals which reached its fullest expression in humans. There is a reason we don't let 12 year olds do a lot of things (or didn't at least) and half rules about how adults interact with children (or did at least). It's because younger people often lack the wisdom or background to make good choices.

The number of voices which say "learn/do something useful in college or not" in our culture is slight smaller than those advising young women not to get in cars with strangers despite the candy and are as ruthlessly shit upon.

When you get a culture like that, where the majority of adult voices are telling youth BS I have a hard time not giving some slack to someone who bitches that having, as he pointed out, 'done everything "right"' he's worse off than those who didn't. That difficulty in that grows when I consider we're easily on our second (if not third) generation of this "college=success" BS being force fed to our youth.

In a way his complaint is of the same type of those of us who complain about being productive and useful and living worse off than those who are essentially parasites. In fact, listening to debates about how denying Pell Grants and other college aid to convicted felons was short sited because they'd only wind up having to return to crime while I was earning my shot at college via sunlight deprivation (via submarine service) I had a similar response: WTF, I'm doing the right thing to get the same reward as a criminal.

The reason I'll only have defend him today is also in his screed:

What's the moral of this story? It doesn't matter how hard you work or how straight you play it, you could end up using your bachelor's degree to flip burgers. And yes, it's always been a dog-eat-dog world, but I was always told that an education would set you apart. It doesn't. The only thing it got me is a lower credit score and a sense of perpetual degradation and failure.

He is on the threshold of wisdom about what he did wrong in following the advice. If in a year he's still at this stage then he's a whiner. Right now I'll give him a chance to see if he's finally ready to learn.

Anonymous said...

Um, it's "blind-sided." As in-surprised because it came in on your blind side. I hope you aren't an English major.

Also, most CEO's have either a)a business degree like an MBA or b)an accounting/finance degree or c)some combination of the two. The English majors are the ones I encounter behind the register who can't make change without the computer providing the amount. K

Anonymous said...

Black Adder - Ink & Inkability
"it is the most pointless book since how to speak French was translated into French.."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=on9U_tdRIeU

Achilles Heels said...

Steve Jobs actually dropped out of some liberal arts college in Oregon (irony).

Chemist said...

Great photo summary of various job options after obtaining various useless degrees...

http://www.kontraband.com/pics/26620/Engineering-Vs-Non-Engineering-Majors/?gpage=2#show

Anonymous said...

http://investing.businessweek.com/research/stocks/people/person.asp?personId=24363680&ticker=ABC:US&previousCapId=24809&previousTitle=AMERISOURCEBERGEN%20CORP

dis dude was english major

Rob said...

I can sympathize with the student in question, it's word for word what happened to me. The difference is that I woke up after getting my B of A, as opposed to digging myself in deeper with a Masters. Did a U-turn and headed straight for the Trades.

It's been a little hit-or-miss for me, working and completing trade diplomas, but I've managed to stay out of debt and actually save a tidy sum. Just finished getting the piece of paper, so now I've got the experience and the education to advance beyond entry level...

Which means it's time for the economy to crater again.