Thursday, December 13, 2012

Always the Eco-Bridesmaid, Never the Bride

Enough time has passed I can tell this story without fear of people being identified or finding out.

This summer I went to a buddy of mine's wedding.  He's a eclectic character, doing his own thing, so it was only natural he would get married later in life.  His wife was from San Francisco, was a teacher, as were all of her friends.  It was inevitable it was a hippie wedding, most people were liberal, but since it wasn't my wedding I knew enough just to be quiet and shut up.

However in being quiet and shutting up, it was interesting to see the wedding unfold, especially the bridesmaids.

The majority of the bridesmaids and female friends of the bride we in their 30's and not married.  They all had very important careers (assistant art director, teacher, teacher, teacher, teacher, special ed teacher, teacher, teacher, drama director, etc.) and they were all noticeably vocal about "finding a man."  But there was another thing I noticed.

They were RABIDLY econ-friendly.

Not a la "environmental terrorist" or "ELF" sort of rabid, but the first thing you picked up on was when you walked up to the facility there was one of these 30 something girls telling you how everything was laid out, where all the food was, but (most importantly) this was a "green wedding" and nobody would "have to worry" because everything was going to be recycled or composted.  I remember the look in the girl's eyes when she hurriedly rushed to the part about it being a green wedding.  A little blank, but this spark in her eye showed when she showed us the labelled bins (trash, compost, plastic recycle, paper recycle).

As the wedding progressed and the wedding party had to be herded from one function or room to another, sure enough there was always some 30 something friend of the bride highlighting the green aspects of the wedding.  The confetti was biodegradable.  Compost over here, oh "here, here is the recycle bin!"  You can eat your chairs.  And finally, when we all had dinner and it was apparent people would be disposing of their trash, a cadre of women got up and started orchestrating the disposal of the food.  "Plastic recyclables go here, food for composting goes here!"  They JUMPED from their seats and were eager to do this.

While this show within a show was going on, there was a guy I got to know a little bit.  Foreign guy from a very poor country.  We'll leave it at that.  He started his own company here in the US and was very much a capitalist.  He was also a very handsome fellow and knew it.  He was alpha.  And in sitting at our table I silently watched him just run circles around the plethora of 30 something single ladies.  He talked about his little boy which melted their hearts (though he never produced a photo).  He said all the right things.  And smiling, constantly smiling.  Sure enough when it came time to make sure people disposed of their waste properly, all the women at our table left, and I looked over to him and said,

"You know precisely what you're doing."

He responded, "they're all the same."

It was true.  They were all the same.  But in more ways than one.

Sure, they were women.  They liked good looking confident men.  They were also the same in their professions (liberal arts, touchy feely, no real economic production type jobs).  They were also all single. But what really united them was how zealously religious they were about the whole green thing.  Because with nothing else in their lives, flashing their "green credentials" was about the only thing they had left in life.

With no husbands, no boyfriends, no family, boring hobbies (oh, wow, organic wine tasting, who saw that coming!?), and jobs nobody really cared about (because they weren't interesting), these girls unconsciously knew on some level they weren't interesting people and didn't lead interesting lives.  Teachers?  A dime a dozen.  Single?  All people have been that before.  You like to travel?  Well who in the Patron's Saint Name of Frick doesn't?  The foreign man was the most interesting fellow at the table, and thus he took up most of the attention.  No one asked anything buy the basic courtesy questions about them.  But once an opportunity for these girls to "do their thing" and show everybody just how good greenies they were popped up, blamo!  They were performing like caffeinated monkeys in a circus.

NOw I don't know if they did that because they had nothing else in their lives.  I don't know if they did that to impress the 2 or 3 alpha males in the wedding party.  I don't know if they did it because they actually believe it.  But whatever reason they did it, it was sad.  For it was proof that K-16 (18 for some) education system merely indoctrinated them about "going green" and other leftist claptrap to the point they were damaged goods.  30 something, yearning to find a man, and instead of being an interesting person, or having an interesting career, or having a skill (say, ballroom dancing, or playing chess well), ALL they could do was puff their chests with their ability to compost and recycle. 

Sadly, it's like hipsters or your average college liberal.  They try so hard to "rebel" but lack the intellect to genuinely do so, all they merely achieve in the end is conformity and commonness.  And there is no value in commonness and conformity.  Alas, there's no shortage of 30 something liberal art-educated-and-employed-women who lack what men want, but hey, at least they can tell you where to get some mean organic wine from the Napa Valley!

Enjoy the decline!

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

You forgot to capitalize "Very Important Careers" lol

Anonymous said...

The biggest obstacle in having a logical discussion with these 'green' people about climate change is that they have so much invested in it psychologically that they dare not question any of their beliefs about it.
If they did they might have to admit that they aren't brave eco-warriors saving the planet from the ravages of capitalism, and they would have to face the fact they are simply patsies.
Admitting that to themselves is about as much fun as a kick in the crotch with a speed skate.

Ask one of them to explain how the economics of the Kyoto treaty would work sometime.
Ask them to explain how giving the higher polluting and CO2 emitting factories in China an even bigger competitive advantage over the clean factories here could possibly result in fewer CO2 emissions and pollution.
All that would happen is more production would move to the lower cost factories not crippled by the Kyoto regulations.
When you ask them that simple question they will tell you all about how they don't want the birds to die, blah blah blah, but they will never honestly face the question.
Facing the simple economic truths about the Kyoto treaty carries such a huge blow to their self image that they will do anything to avoid it.
No one likes finding out a huge part of their belief system is a sham.
We didn't like it when the Japanese came over here and showed us how to build cars, the Russians didn't like it when their economic house of cards collapsed.
And the greens won't like it if and when they face the truth.
Especially if they are women who chose not to have kids to save Gaia.

Stan

Anonymous said...

Whenever anyone asks me why I have never married, I will link this post:)

Bob Wallace said...

Women who are obsessed with what they eat, or with recycling, have personal relationship problems. The novel, "The Road to Wellville," is about how people who are obsessed with "pure" food invariably have emotional/relationship problems.

Jose said...

Eco-simpletons are a never-ending source of entertainment; all you need is a little science.

1) Tell them about your low-carb diet, you know, how you cut the _hydrocarbons_ out for more protein. Then watch them tell someone else they're eating too many hydrocarbons. (carbs = carbohydrates; hydrocarbons = gasoline, for example)

2) I have convinced several that CO2, carbon dioxide, is twice as poisonous as CO, carbon monoxide. Must be fun

3) Some still fall for the "let's ban dihydrogen monoxide" gag, especially when you point out that it's in our drinking water and in almost 100% of cancer cells.

4) Since they're all anti-capitalist, it's trivial to convince them the reason they need a new flu shot every year is GREED of those evil Pharma execs. (It's one of the few pieces of field evidence for evolution.)

It works better with a wingman who's in on the gag.

Cheers,
J

Lib Arts Major Making $31k/yr said...

For a guy who recycles so many of his blog posts into his books, you sure like to rag on recycling a lot!

*Rimshot*

Bonus points if this actually gets through moderation, but I do agree with most of the post. The "Green Economy" is a losing one. Recycling is all fine and good, but not at the expense of economic power (what little of it is left).

Richard Blaine said...

I suppose I should mention that knowing how to compost will become a useful productive skill in the late stages of the decline as food prices result in almost everyone trying to grow some of their own.

Recycling will also be useful - although not the way they practice it now. Today recycling at home is really nothing more than trash sorting. After the decline, it will be figuring out how to reuse everything you can.

Still, since neither of those reasons are why they choose to do these things, it probably won't occur to them to capitalize on those skill when they become useful.

Anonymous said...

Hey Cappy!!!
Thanks a bunch for taking the time to do reconnaissance for the male part of the world!
You are definetly a trooper by going into enemy territory and getting the first person intel!
Keep chronicling the enemies actions and one day people will begin to see the truth of those leeches.

Thanks
Steve

LordSomber said...

Damn, Cap, you almost got my hopes up with "econ-friendly".
If only they were that.

daniel_ream said...

Recycling is *not* fine and good. It is demonstrably more expensive and worse for the environment than just disposing of garbage in well-designed landfills.

an observer said...

Single, forty something acquaintance started sending out cute emails some years ago.

She had her chances but passed them up.

Oddly, she's a teacher too.

Anonymous said...

I like to cheer the greens up by telling them I converted my old V8 4X4 to run on renewable fuel.
I tell them it burns seal oil now.
Seals are renewable....

Jane said...

I like your website & agree about war on men....however the whole ciriticism of teachers gets old. I agree many (most?) Teachers are not particularly bright or merely phone it in to their class BUT that does not mean ALL teachers are as dull/boring/worthless as you portray. I am a teacher who is passionate & knowledgable-teaches real American history to third graders as well as real literature- and I read constantly on all topics. I would match my intellect with yours with pleasure. (My original degree was in the hard sciences & calculus is no stranger to me). The "they are all alike" comment is simply not accurate. I am more likely to be found on a hike to study the geology of Death Valley or exploring ghost towns of the Great Basin than involved in the sort of insipid activities you feel most teachers indulge in. So don't be so hasty to throw us all in the junk heap...I teach because I love children & miss them since mine are now grown. Finally I married young and devoted myself to said children....he died young & I am now on husband number 2 to whom I am devoted and endeavor to make each of his days a delight...so be aware we do not all fit your lump definition of teachers.

Bob Wallace said...

"Recycling is *not* fine and good"

Some is. About three years ago I was walking my dog down the alley when I noticed one of the local drunks had put out five huge bags of beer cans. I put them in my van and took them to the local metal recycling center. I got ten dollars. Since then I recycle aluminum cans, and average about $25 a month. And all this from walking my dog.

I know a guy who makes his living recycling old ovens, fridges, washing machines, etc. He takes them out of people's houses when they buy new ones. He makes a good enough living to own a house.

However, the "recycling" women do is nonsense.

Jane Kinkel said...

I like your website & agree about war on men....however the whole ciriticism of teachers gets old. I agree many (most?) Teachers are not particularly bright or merely phone it in to their class BUT that does not mean ALL teachers are as dull/boring/worthless as you portray. I am a teacher who is passionate & knowledgable-teaches real American history to third graders as well as real literature- and I read constantly on all topics. I would match my intellect with yours with pleasure. (My original degree was in the hard sciences & calculus is no stranger to me). The "they are all alike" comment is simply not accurate. I am more likely to be found on a hike to study the geology of Death Valley or exploring ghost towns of the Great Basin than involved in the sort of insipid activities you feel most teachers indulge in. So don't be so hasty to throw us all in the junk heap...I teach because I love children & miss them since mine are now grown. Finally I married young and devoted myself to said children....he died young & I am now on husband number 2 to whom I am devoted and endeavor to make each of his days a delight...so be aware we do not all fit your lump definition of teachers.

Randy McRoadkill said...

Cap'n - I suspect they did it because it is collectivist; just look at their chosen careers.

Jose - you forgot that dihydrogen monoxide is the universal solvent. If we have any hope of saving the universe, it must be banned.

Richard - absolutely. I cut way back on buying garbage bags and instead use the plastic bags from the grocery store.

Chris said...

I should post this at my site but I am being lazy, for I know how to make recycling work.

The city licences ONE trash collection company.

They only pick up LABELLED and TAXED bags.

If you want to schlep your trash to the dump, you pay by volume.

Trust me, you get everything into one bag a week. And you use the recycle containers to do it.

Because you are cheap and those frigging bags are a dollar each. I will let Cappy's foreign friend do the math (30 000 houses @ x a week -- breakeven).

The irony, is in my town THIS LOSES MONEY, while a private company that PAYS the council to dump rubbish and hires out 120L wheelie bins for a little more a week than the bags will cost makes money.

2. The trouble with going out with the aforementioned teachers are that they are too high risk for a LTR as they will, will, will, want to rule you not be in a relationship with you. I'd rather have some bread and cheese in a shack, thanks.

she said: said...

It was a year or two ago they started org charting recycling. It's Germany's fault actually. All of California started using their model as the example. At the time I tried to convince them the US couldn't ever duplicate that model.

Yet, on they went. Every single place you go there are at least 3 bins for your separate trash types.

The first thing I thought when they started doing this was.... man - that sure is handy for the homeless. Step one. walk up and abscond with the bin that says bottles and cans. Step two. ? Step three. Profit. But even our homeless are too pampered.

It is sort of funny that is paralyzes people from out of state. What am I suppose to do with this item they say.