Wednesday, July 03, 2013

I Will Not See the Lone Ranger

From our agent in the field:

"In one of the busier scenes in Gore Verbinski's very busy The Lone Ranger, dozens if not hundreds of Comanche tribesmen are brutally gunned down by a machine-gun-armed U.S. Cavalry. This sad and ugly violence — employed to represent the larger cultural annihilation being waged throughout the American West in the bloody era of Manifest Destiny — is intercut with shots of Johnny Depp, at the moment dressed up like a Chinese rail worker but face still covered in warpaint, furiously pumping a railway handcar with a blindfolded Armie Hammer as his passenger. Tonto and the Lone Ranger's wacky, madcap getaway complete, we are then allowed a somber moment to pause and reflect on the terrible bloodshed to which we were just subjected."

I said it before, and I'll say it again, I'm sick and tired of being lectured by leftists and race whores blaming me and trying to shame me for things I didn't do.  And I'm not going to pay them or give them my money.  Sure, I'll watch a pirated copy.  Sure, I'll watch it if somebody else watches it, but unlike every Eloi, SWPL who will just brush it off and see it anyway, heck, even blame themselves a little believing in BS like "white privilege," I'm not going to part with a portion of my finite life in the form of my money to get lectured.

And just like we took roughly $100,000 away from Big Education recently, I suggest the roughly 10,000 readers take their $10 each and not give it to Hollywood.

29 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm with you Cappy. The shamers can simply piss off and/or kiss my ass!!

Xeno said...

According to this reviewer, the mask is a thinly-veiled metaphor for white guilt: http://io9.com/lone-ranger-is-johnny-depps-tribute-to-shitty-superher-654517516

Green Steelhead said...

Agreed. I am joining you in this. I like Johnny Depp, but what the hell? American Indian Johnny Depp? Captain Jack Sparrow as an American Indian? Nah. I don't buy that.

This summary of "the slaughter" put the final nail in the coffin for me. I will save the $10, so I can make some homemade wine. The time will be spent fishing with my son or shooting guns at targets with him.

Quartermain said...

It's not really the Lone Ranger and Tonto, unless Clayton Moore and Jay Silverheels are playing them.

The Super-Hero genre went down hill in the late '60's and early '70's when the college indoctrinated left entered the comic book fields.

Southern Man said...

The bottom tier of my movie ranking list is "Redbox with a free rental code." That's where TLR stands with me.

Penrose said...

have you ever thought about embedding your comment section? it doesn't "feel real" when it's not embedded.

Anonymous said...

I have not paid to see a movie in years. I refuse to give my money to people who hate me. This is the same reason I no longer donate to the Republican Party, although I still occasionally give money to individual candidates.

Anonymous said...

You are a little late to get on the band wagon. Hollywood has been a joke for quite some time. Most of the current movies have a target audience of age 12 or less. The biggest movie of the last decade was Pirates Of The Caribbean. This means little boys are living in a great Hollywood era. For the rest of the population over the age of 21, Hollywood movies suck.

All the talent seems to come out of cable TV. Programs like Rome, Breaking Bad, Deadwood, Boardwalk Empire, put Hollywood movies to shame.

Paul, Dammit! said...

Watching the trailer for this turdfest with my 10-year old, who loves anything with explosions, action and destruction, summed up nicely: "This looks stupid. Can we go see Monsters University?"
If Disney can't even package Capt. Jack sparrow to kids, they'll have to appeal to the Perpetual Guilt class.

Anonymous said...

Cheesy heroic westerns were only really viable in the extreme beta male 1950's. They're unwatchable now, and weren't regarded even then as good films. Edgy wild westerns hold up far better, but it's still a popcorn setting.

It sounds like they attempted the former (fail) and threw in a little of the latter because they couldn't make up their hamster minds (double fail). Trainwreck.

Anonymous said...

Well, losing half your population to European diseases---which, if you think about it, was inevitable---doesn't fit The Narrative. It had to be White Racism that was the true cause.

Eric Mueller said...

Even if I like the movie, I do not like the movie theater experience. Why should I pay $10 to sit for a half hour before the scheduled time, only to be subjected to another half hour of commercials and previews at the time the movie I paid to see is scheduled to start?

I vote with my money, and movie theaters do not get my vote. A friend was willing to pay to take me to Skyfall last year, which was a decent movie but the theater experience only confirmed the commercials and previews have tripled since the last time I saw a movie in a theater.

TLR doesn't even sound like something I'd want to watch on Netflix late at night after I've had too much to drink.

Roberto Severino said...

I'll just rent this when it comes out on Amazon or Netflix or maybe not see it at all. I don't really care about the political biases of the people who make movies but no sane person really goes to the movie just to learn some cheesy moral or get force fed political views.

They want to be entertained. That's it. Other problem is that many movies cost too much now. Last time I went, tickets were up to 12 dollars. What a ripoff unless you're going with friends.

"All the talent seems to come out of cable TV. Programs like Rome, Breaking Bad, Deadwood, Boardwalk Empire, put Hollywood movies to shame."

This sounds pretty accurate. The networks that produce that kind of programming have generally done a good job in keeping TV standards high and ahead of the pack when it comes to drama and even comedy.

If you saw that new Behind the Candelabra movie on HBO, you'd realize that Michael Douglas's acting itself is deserving of an Oscar or some kind of award.

There's a more blurred distinction between television and movies. Not every movie is going to suck, but there's plenty of stuff that I personally would be better off not wasting my time with.

Duke Morrison said...

In the words or my great uncle who served just prior to the Spanish American war..."We didn't put the Indians down because we were looking to kill someone."

Yeah, the movie looks like crap. The real racism is Johnny Depp playing tonto in black face"

Anonymous said...

Johnny Depp is the quintessential douche.

Stretch said...

Quartermain is correct. No Clayton Moore or Jay Silverheels? Not really the Lone Ranger.

Anonymous said...

I gotta ask, why would you think they're trying to make you feel "white guilt" with scenes like that.

When I see that stuff, I don't feel guilty about being white - my ancestors never participated in anything like that and I won't, so I don't see it as a lecture.

Bob Wallace said...

Actually in the war between whites and Indians only about 2000 were killed on each side.

The vast majority of Indians died from European diseases, against which they had no immunity. Entire tribes died from chicken pox, of all things.

SM777 said...

Do you mean there are still people who don't watch pirated copies?

Wow!

Anonymous said...

Clayton Moore as Lone Ranger. Christopher Reeve as Superman. If someone played the role as they did, I'd give them their due at least for that. I read a review just before coming here that said the Lone Ranger was played for a buffoon.

http://www.ncregister.com/daily-news/sdg-reviews-the-lone-ranger

So both movies, this and the Superman one, are stay-aways.

Wilko said...

I think The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, and The Outlaw Josey Wales both had some nice subversive messages about Statism and the sinister growth of the then fledgling federal government. A theme that was picked up again in Red Dead Redemption (Rockstar have strong libertarian themes running through a few of their games actually, I'd love to hear them talk about that in depth).

Swithunus said...

Good call Cappy.

I also stopped watching TV shows and films with kick-arse 90lb women taking down multiple 250lb men (even if they do use their special succubus powers to do it).

Consequently I don't watch that much TV these days, for obvious reasons.

I'm not tired of women or my real country, I'm tired of the pc-propaganda bull.

I'm tired of having one agenda after another pushed on me. Hopefully they'll realise at some point, that for every new female that they interest in 'syfy', ten men have left for video games, blogs, hell..life

Sir5er said...

It's currently sitting at 23 percent on Rotten Tomatoes. Not looking good for the Masked One... or whatever they call him.

Speaking of leftist agendas in movies, I was not one bit impressed when viewing Man of Steel. Almost the first line of dialogue in the film is a thinly - negligee thin - veiled sermon on man-made global warming and resource extraction. Being told "Global Warming denialists blew up Baby Superman's home planet!" left a very sour taste in my mouth for the rest of that mixed bag of a movie.

Anonymous said...

Agreed. Since I can't stand Johnny Depp anyway, this is easy for me to do.

Anonymous said...

I finally watched the 1st movie of the Iron Man series just to see what it was like as it had become a very successful franchise.

Thank goodness I didn't pay for it because I had to abandon it part way through - it was embarrassingly bad - about the level of a 10 year old cartoon.

How do adults watch this stuff ?

Smashmaster said...

It is tanking, gonna be another collossal bomb for Disney..... nother John Carter.

Quartermain said...

I remember seeing the ads for the Green Hornet movie.

Unimpressive.

I read the reviews and it appeared that they made Britt Reid a total buffoon. Written by another P.C. liberal idiot.

I refused to even watch a free boot leg copy of that travesty.

Quartermain said...

Here is an objective review by my internet buddy, Ex-Army:

http://ex-army.blogspot.com/2013/07/the-lone-ranger-mixed-bag.html

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the heads up. I will not spend one dime on this movie.