Saturday, January 12, 2013

Asshole Consulting

Asshole Consulting is based on a very simple principle:

Consultants will lie to you in order to spare your feelings, and in the process bilk you for as many unnecessary hours as possible

Assholes will just tell you the cold, blunt, truth because, frankly, they don't give a shit about you.

And 15 minutes of truth is infinitely more valuable than 40 hours of lies.

And that's how Asshole Consulting works.

Thankfully, I'm an asshole.  I don't care about your feelings.  I don't care what you think about me.  And I make enough money doing other things I don't need to worry about offending you or losing your business.  But that makes my advice not only better than most consultants' and advisors', but cheaper as well.

I bill out at $100 an hour, but I have yet to charge somebody over $55 because nobody's problem has required that much work.  Usually it is a simple question requiring my expertise or experience.  Perhaps it is something as simple as having another person's opinion.  Whatever it is, for $20, $30, or $40 you can have that little tweak, adjustment or epiphany in life that explains everything and will likely save you thousands down the road.

So whether you have a financial question
You need advice on your career
You are having trouble with the ladies
Or anything else you think an older brother figure might be able to help in

consider dropping the $15, $25, maybe $55 on Asshole Consulting and see if a bit of direct, blunt truth doesn't help.

You can e-mail your questions to aaron "dot" clarey "at" assholeconsulting "dot" com.
I'll "diagnose" your problem and assess how much it will cost and tell you the price.
You then make the corresponding donation to my paypal account.
Upon confirmation the donation is made, I answer the e-mail and


Your question/s are answered and your life is a little less confusing.

For more on Asshole Consulting see below:


charles said...

I was an asshole consultant, but I got fired too often. I toned it down a lot and have more business. Pardon, but They Couldn't Handle the Truth.

Bill said...

Bwahahahaha… Funniest thing I've read in weeks. I wish I had thought of it. My reputation as an asshole has been mellowing and I need to do something about that.