Friday, September 19, 2014

Beware the Girl Who Actually Likes You

An interesting observation.

What if the vast majority of your experiences with the opposite sex when trying to court them is largely one of you

arguing and
teeth pulling

them to go out with you?

That you always operate from the premise the girl does not on her own, willingly want to go out with you?  That such a fuss, fight, and resistance is put up, that you accept as premise women are incapable of liking men on their own.

Well, two very sad and tragic things will happen.

1.  You'll believe that it's not possible for girls to just "like you."  That they'll always need to be convinced or tricked otherwise.  And

2.  You'll fail to recognize the few girls that actually do genuinely like you, misdiagnose them, respond erroneously to them, and they will likely be "the one that got away."

Regardless, this thought is more thoroughly thought out in my latest piece at ROK. (Also, I recommend reading the comments.  No limit to the number of virgins doing their academian, theoritician Monday Morning Quarterbacking tough talk.)


Anonymous said...

Honestly, what you describe sounds like the holy grail. I have yet to find a chick that doesn't either frustrate me or want something.

I hope you're right, but I'm sure as hell not holding my breath.

Albert said...

The problem with finding the "girl who likes them" for some people is that "girl who likes them" has more than once proven to be "amateur grifter looking for an easy mark".

Ras al Ghul said...

I expected this to be a warning about borderline and personality disordered women. Because they often appear to be an honest to goodness "girl that just likes you" that you don't have to game.

Cap, this comes off like a guy in love and is talking the way only a guy in love with that "special unique girl" can.

I hope for your sake, she is unique and special and different.

My experience has been the opposite and I freely admit that I have been taken in more than once by the "girl who actually likes me" and regretted it later.

Jones said...

I'm reminded of Charlie Sheen, who does not hire hookers to stay, but instead to leave ...

I accept with Zen-like calm that there is a limited time window in which "the girl who actually likes you" will remain interesting and enjoyable.

I don't exactly mind it when they wander off ...

Neither should you.

Jones said...

Also, chicks are speculations, not investments ...


Torgo said...

The man is the prize.

Wandering MGTOW said...

There were three girls who actually liked me in my past. All were crazy. No kidding, one was an alumnus of a mental hospital. Think "Play Misty For Me."

They all disguised it until they had me on the hook. Then they let Ms. Batshit Nutjob out of the closet.

Adam Lawson said...

I don't often wade into comment sections, and the manosphere is no different: There are way, way too many anonymous tough suave lovers who never put up with anything from anybody. Everybody is just too cool.

If there really were that many of those types, we'd have a stronger nation.

Of course, it's still better than the average comment section on, say, a major news site. Which is FILLED with people who are borderline retarded.

Albert said...

Notice, Adam, that there's at least as much "yeah, that'd be great, but I've been burned before" weariness here.

I don't like to use the term courtship, here, because that's being perverted into a way for parents to set impossibly high standards for their girls. (Meaning, in practical terms, that they train their future sons-in-law to lie to them and their daughters. Great if you're a Muslim and practicing makara, not so good if you value the beatitudes instead.) Nonetheless the classic meaning of courtship has some applicability.

If a girl seems to like you(and you are interested right back), by all means see if you can build something. But you still need to scout the area thoroughly for minefields before running the bases. You each need to find out who the other is when they are relaxed and themselves among friends.

If she wants sugar-daddy (or even just wealthy john) levels of expenditure before marriage, run. If she wants to plan the wedding before the first kiss or the 5th date, gently point out the need for defenses to be lowered first. If she doesn't sane up, run.

kash said...

More than just a coincidence!
I never really comment on manosphere blogs but when I stumbled upon your article on RoK, I was shocked by the timeliness of it.
Friday the 19th.. Just 2 days ago.. A few hours prior to you publishing your article, I made the exact same error (for the 2nd time in my life).
Let me explain, I've slept with over the last few years and I've only come across 2 of these soo called Girls. The first believe it or not was an American expat and the one I just ended it with was a Spanish girl.
I made the exact same mistake with her thinking she didn't like me, overgaming things in my head.
On Friday she told me "she could no longer see me as she didn't know where this was going" and that an old flame from the past wanted to get serious with her which she accepted since I never once told her how much I liked her.
This is true, I barely reciprocated affection for this girl early on.
Had I said, something along the lines of I wanted to see her seriously, I would have not lost her.
Instead some schmuck has stolen her from me, and you know the old saying..
You only realise what you have lost until its gone is haunting me right now.
If only I can turn back time eh..
Ach will, you live and you learn. I just hope I don't make the same mistake a third time.
But yeah I was shocked reading your article and even more shocked to realised it was published on the same day so I couldn't help myself but leave a comment.
I can totally relate to your article 100% and it actually cut me pretty deep. But lesson learnt!
From your new subscriber over in Scotland..

Anonymous said...

0.1% is perfectly acceptable margin of error.