Thursday, November 29, 2012

I Yearn to Kill My Boss In Meetings


The meeting works like this;

Big time, gray haired bosses like to see how much of other people’s time they can send into a black hole. ALL people, no matter how irrelevant their job is to the presumed purpose of the meeting are required to attend. Nobody is listening to the current speaker because it’s irrelevant to their job. Meanwhile, the brown nosers who, like you, have no purpose of being at the meeting either, ask a litany of questions or blather on about their project to make themselves sound busy and productive, which only lengthens the pain and suffering of those who actually have REAL work to do. Meanwhile the boss sits there, laughing inside, knowing he or she is exercising their power forcing youto waste your time and made you spend the money on gas to attend the meeting.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

that is awesome!

add forced concentration camp-uhn, I mean x mas parties to the list

Anonymous said...

btw this happens in the army too , at "NCO" meetings. endless time wasted

Anonymous said...

I feel your pain, Captain. I, too, LOATHE unnecessarily long meetings! Had a great one the other day with HR where they took an hour and half to describe how our benefits package was exactly the same as last year.

Anonymous said...

http://salary.com/8-college-degrees-that-will-earn-your-money-back/slide/10/

Karl said...

I left corporate America because of this, the HR ditz and other reasons you have mentioned. Why, Captain, are you making me re-live all this??

lordsomber said...

I always used these useless meetings as an opportunity to doodle cartoons of the boss.

lordsomber said...

I always used these useless meetings as an opportunity to doodle cartoons, often of the boss.

Gallego71 said...

You hit it right on the nose brother! I have been to many meetings in which it has nothing to do with what i do. Sometimes these meetings last for 3 hours just talking about nothing! While of course the brown noser's are full of excitement the rest of us are trying to stay awake. Trust me i have a three hour battle with the Sandman just to stay awake! Meetings are just a waste of productive time.

Anonymous said...

"Meanwhile the boss sits there, laughing inside, knowing he or she is exercising their power forcing youto waste your time and made you spend the money on gas to attend the meeting."

So the boss is not interested in profits at all, he is just interested in power.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous 12:13

You do realize that the author has an english degree. Im SHOCKED that she put it as the most useful degee in her article about useful degrees.

ChrisP said...

The usefulness and effectiveness of a meeting declines as more people attend.

Almost every not worthless meeting I have had involved only 2 to 4 people all interested in doing the same thing.

Phil Galt said...

you just brought back memories that I have tried to repress. There were days, I could feel my brain cells killing themselves one-by-one.

you*(#^%@!....

Before a certain major-tech company & I parted ways, mandatory time wasting meetings were a way of life. I came to suspect it stemmed from a culture of disrespect. I mean, why just talk for the five minutes allotted, when you can keep going forever as long as you remain conscious? Why bother to show up on time, when you are so important that the other attendees will HAVE to repeat material again just for you?

In the declining days, peoples schedules were tied into microsoft outlook, allowing us to see when people had free time for more meetings. It always weirded me out, at how some people could literally have ALL their time taken up by meetings.

Anonymous said...

Captain! Where's the kindle version of your book? I bought the Worthless e-book (which was not worthless, which is what this sentence structure could imply), but I don't want to have another paperback filling my house.

Captain Capitalism said...

Here's the Kindle version:

http://www.amazon.com/Captain-Capitalism-Top-Shelf-ebook/dp/B00A4PU5VK/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1354364574&sr=1-2&keywords=Captain+Capitalism+Top+Shelf