Pour over the millions of articles written in thousands of magazine for the past hundred years about the dynamics and relations between men and women, and none of them will come close to the truth. And that truth is:
Men want sex,
women want attention
and we trade.
Of course in the olden days it was
"Men want sex,
women want resources and security,
and we trade"
but with the welfare state and government providing resources and security to women, respectively, women have replaced "security and resources" with "attention."
So imagine my laughing when I read this little article sent to me by one of our Dancing Agents in the Field.
To sum it up it was written by a woman who was SHOCKED, SHOCKED that men would dare to have the audacity to... (are you ready for this)
USE SALSA DANCING AS A MEANS TO GET SEX!!! *GASP!*
I KNOW!!! ME TOO!
What evil men would do this!!!????
Sarcasm aside, what we are witnessing here is what we could call asymmetric information in the "Sex-Attention" market, ie - one of the parties are mis or uninformed about the true nature of the market exchange. In this case it happens to be the women, but what is interesting is not so much that women are misinformed, but HOW they came to be misinformed.
First, ladies, you have to understand that for the most part, everything men do (especially when they are younger) is to try to get women. Their primary goal, more often than not is NOT
to get to know you
to learn to salsa dance
or because they have the same interest in movies or art that you do
They want to have sex with you.
Whether you like this or not, is irrelevant. And whether you deem this "moral or not," is moot. It is factual. It is a law. If you don't like this you might as well get angry at things like "The Law of Gravity" or the fact that fire is hot. Besides, you can see the empirical proof of this in two ways.
1. When the hot girls leave ANY dance scene it quickly dries up and becomes a 40 something virgin Christian singles scene or a greencard market
2. Ladies night. Do you REALLY think ladies night is just because bar owners want to be nice to ladies? It is because they are acutely aware of the law of the sex-attention exchange and know young men will spend tons of money on women buying them drinks...just like on non-ladies nights.
So when a guys asks you to dance, yes, he may genuinely like to salsa. And yes, he may genuinely want to improve his dancing. But in the end his primary goal is to either get with you OR use you to improve his skills so that he may get with another girl he is attracted to.
Second, knowing the true nature of "ballroom dancing dynamics," we must investigate why women are so misinformed about this and suffer from asymmetrical information. And the answer is simple:
Propaganda or "social conditioning."
The biggest canard told to women today is that men's primary interest in them should be anything but sexual. And if a man's primary interest was sexual, then he was a cad, a lout, and a scumbag (as explicitly detailed in the aforementioned link). But once again, by the laws of nature, men's primary interest in women IS sexual and thus anything you've been told otherwise is a lie. The problem, however, is if women believe these lies they are deluded into thinking they can get attention for free. That men just selflessly, and pointlessly
spend hours, nay weeks, learning the various dances,
fork over thousands of dollars in cover charges and dance lessons,
waste months of their free time at clubs with (typically) lousy music,
suffer rejection roughly 1 in every 2 times they ask a girl to dance,
all for S's and G's and good ole fashioned, innocent, geewhillikers wholesome Jimmy Stewart, church-going fun.
So when an accomplished dancer parades his female partner at the epicenter of the hottest night club, twirling her like a tornado, dipping her like fondue, making all the other women jealous, and thus begetting her more attention in 4 minutes than she received in the past 4 years, women SERIOUSLY expect there to be no-counter cost or price to that. That the guy just made her the center of attention altruistically and selflessly.
Only 20 years of media, government, feminist, and educational brainwashing could render women so asymmetrically naive.
The sad, but natural consequence of this delusion is that as hotter women are approached more and are "insulted" men dared to have a sexual interest in them, they leave. As there are less hot chicks, the better dancing males leave. The overall quality of looks and talent drops, and the dance scene bubble pops.
So how is a man supposed to approach the debate of whether he should learn to ballroom dance? If the majority of women aren't there for romantic/sexual purposes, why expend the enormous amounts of energy learning to dance?
Well boys, let the Ole Captain tell you.
You SHOULD go and learn to dance. But you should not learn to dance as means to pick up girls.
Not to say you won't pick up girls at a swing dance club or a salsa joint. Sometimes you will. But the primary benefit and reason every man should learn to dance is so that he can reward a quality woman he's already dating with attention. Since (by my estimation) 85% of women on any dance scene are not there for sexual/courting reasons and are really just there for exercise/fun/attention reasons, 85% of your efforts will be wasted (bar the apprenticeship period where you're sole goal is to learn). But if you have a loved one in your life and girl that DESERVES to be the center of attention on a dance floor or a night club, that's when you break out your rare talent. In short use women to learn how to dance so that you may award quality women in the future with that skill.
This post sponsored by Asshole Consulting. You want to be lied to? Hire a regular consultant. Want the truth? Hire an asshole. Asshole Consulting - cheaper and better because assholes don't care about your feelings.