Monday, August 24, 2015

Die, Night Club Industry, Die!!!

Upon returning from Wyoming and having no real job in hand, I revisited my life's motto of "security is security" and ended up working for a security company a friend owned.  They specialized in armed security so most of the gigs were prisoner transport, body guard work, and the infamous "protecting spoiled rotten Saudi Prince brats and his entourage of 120 equally douchy elitists."  However, before you were allowed to work one of these easier shifts, you had to prove your mettle working the hated "parking ramp shifts."

These "parking ramp shifts" were really nothing more than "baby sitting the night clubbers" shifts where you would prevent fights, stop people from pissing in the stairwells, watch black women fight over "their man," and even prevent the occasional Russian body builder from kidnapping a pass-out party girl.  This was only made infinitely worse in the fact we had to patrol on foot which, during Minnesota winters, made life miserable.

But through all the headaches and hypothermia that comes with baby sitting the Twin Cities' club-going filth, I did notice something those 3 short years ago - there was only a FRACTION of the night clubs that used to be open during the 90's.

First Avenue (a night club) was still the "anchor club" of the Twin Cities and still in business.  Same for The Gay 90's.  And The Fine Line, another reliable standby, was also open for business.  But nearly every other club or bar I went to was now gone.  Daddy Rock's was no longer.  Banana Joe's gone.  Even Old Chicago (not a club, but just a bar) was gone too.  And they weren't necessarily replaced with new clubs either.   In short, there was by my quick economist eye only about 40% the amount of clubs that existed during my night clubbing days 20 years ago.

Fast forward three years to today and it's even worse.

Solera, gone.
The Times Cafe, gone.
Fhima (a St. Paul club), gone.
"Block E" (an entire BUILDING of night clubs) gone.
And the over-hyped, over-rated "Capital Grille" gone (thank god).

There is just nowhere near the night club life that once existed in the Twin Cities.

Of course, as economists are wont to do, they research things they see happening in real life.  And after poking around on teh interwebz the death of the night club industry is an interesting and telling death.

First, there is not so much a "death" in the night life scene as a stagnation and a shift.  Revenues for the "bar and nightclub industry" are stagnant, if not slightly dropping if you account for inflation.  However, the Minneapolis club scene has not "stagnated," it's cratered.  So how do these figures jive?  Simple, the data is for the "BAR AND night club industry."

While nightclubs may be tanking, bars are doing quite well.  This would explain why nearly every night club I attended during Clinton's administration are gone, but the neighborhood bars are still around.

Lee's Liquor Lounge, The CC Club, Jax Cafe, etc., all neighborhood bars, all still in business.

Second, this is corroborated by the most cited reason for the industry's decline- "The Great Recession."  While Gen X may have been whooping it up in the Dotcom days, drinking and partying themselves into oblivion, they at least did not graduate into "The Great Recession."  Their modern day Millennial peers have.  And not only are the Millennials facing the worst job market since the Great DEPRESSION, they are also saddled with more college debt than any generation in the history of the world.  Combine that with their worthless degrees and they plain don't have the money to afford a cover charge and drinks.

This has led to two behavioral changes.  One, Millennials now pre-drink at home, getting within one drink of a proper buzz.  And two, they avoid cover charges, commuting/parking expenses, and DWI's by walking to their local bar. 

The third reason for the nightclub's demise, however, is the really interesting one.  Because no professional publication or researcher can speak of it, even though it is the core and the heart of the nightclub business - sex.  Specifically women.

When we wipe away all the politically correct "industry research" jargon and cut through the bullshit, night clubs are all about men wanting to get sex from women.  And even though they may not come outright and say it, club owners are ACUTELY aware of this and it shows in their business models.

EVERY nightclub knows you have to get hot women into the club, otherwise the men (with their money) will not show up.  Therefore you have "ladies night," drink specials for ladies, sometimes women even get to drink for free, and if you're a 20 something female in America you don't even know what a "cover charge" is. 

This presents a problem however.  Wherever there are hot women, horny and thirsty men are sure to follow.  And their constant advances will inevitably scare away women.  Therefore, how do you get women to show up AND stay AND return next week?

Make the nightclub environment incredibly hostile towards men and incredibly tailored towards women.

You ever wonder why nightclub music is not only shitty, but incredibly loud?  It's so the girl can get you to buy her a drink, but not have to talk to you.

You notice how the music is the most monotonous remixed pop top 40's crap that has not an ounce of talent in it?  It's because girls like it and men don't.

And you notice how you have to stand in line, while a cute girl with a short skit gets to jump in line?  It's not only because they need her as "seed capital" to "get the party started."  They need to wear you out so you don't have the energy to approach (and thus harass) women in the club.

It is this "love hate" relationship nightclubs have with men (and their money) that they must delicately balance where you are encouraged to part with your money, but deterred from actually having any sexual success with women.  And if they do it right, you'll have spent at least $50 of your money with them and have no girl to show for it.

Now, for the past 40 years this business model has worked.  And using back of napkin statistics men have transferred roughly a trillion dollars worth of wealth to women in the form of drinks, food, cover charges (and flowers if you were stupid enough to fall for that gag where the guy is hocking roses in a bucket).  But there has been an incredible game changer as of recent.  One that completely obsoletes this model and has completely rewritten the rules for many other industries as well.

The internet.

"Fun" as it is to go clubbing, because of the challenging environment it presents to men, it gets tiring.  And even the most ardent of club-going men will burn out and seek for alternative ways to pick up women.  So after spending 5 years in the nightclub scene, forking over $50 a night, to maybe, just MAYBE get laid 3 times, the majority of men will inevitably do a cost benefit analysis and leave.  However, whereas in the past "leaving" meant giving up and basically staying home (or trying to "meet girls at church" or work, etc.), now men can get what they want (sex) by going online. And the reasons are just too compelling.

First you waste nowhere NEAR the amount of time you do going clubbing.  There's no commute.  There's no finding parking.  There's no waiting in line.  And there's no competing against 3 other guys for the same girl.

You fire up your laptop, set up a profile, and start firing off messages.

Naturally, the vast majority of your advances will be rejected and is the primary reason many men say online dating isn't worth it (for example a recently divorced friend of mine complained he had to spend a full hour a night online to get a date for that weekend).  But a mere hour a night is NOTHING compared to what 20 something men pre-internet invested daily in their pursuit of women.

Second, the financial costs.  Online dating is effectively free.  Either by going through Plenty of Fish, Tinder, or meetup groups where you indirectly try to find women, there is really no significant added marginal cost to start online dating.  Contrast that with 40 nights a year of clubbing for 5 years at $50 a pop, and you save yourself $10,000 in explicit financial costs merely going online.

And finally, the sanity you save.  In going online you avoid the nearly impossible environment that nightclubs have become: 

Women who have their "bitch shields" up as they gussied themselves up earlier that evening with their friends in sort of a "pre-game pep talk," making them froth at the chance to shoot men down (and consequently cry themselves to sleep later that night because "they can't find a man.")

The 100%-USDA-Certified-Full-Backing-and-Faith-of-the-US-Government GUARAN-FREAKING-TEE that there will be a fatty cockblocker there to pull ANY girl you're having success with away.

The "herd" you must masterfully penetrate or wait until a weak one separates herself from the herd, only to have the mother hen fatty cockblocker come in and "save her from you."

All while under the constant and never ending assault and barrage of the monotonous bass-beating of hiphop, rap, regatone, or whatever the latest "girl power" top 40's song that came out that week.

No, you just pour yourself a nice scotch, throw on Jazz24.org, and click away.

Certainly, there are economic reasons for the decline in night clubs.  And certainly there are sociological/demographical reasons for the decline in nightclubs.  But although the data is not perfect (there is a report I found for $1,500, but I'm not going to buy it), the real threat nightclubs face is that they no longer hold a monopoly on (effectively) the only legal means by which men ultimately pay for sex/dating.  And in the face of competition from the internet their current business model is too punishing financially, mentally, and time-wise for any young man with the slightest bit of self respect and common sense.

Perhaps, with luck, there will be no need to patrol those parking ramps in the future.
________________________________________________________________

http://aaron-clarey.podomatic.com/
http://www.assholeconsulting.com
https://www.youtube.com/user/AaronClarey
https://twitter.com/aaron_clarey
http://www.amazon.com/Aaron-Clarey/e/B00J1ZC350/

38 comments:

Ollie said...

I am all too happy to see the nightclub industry bite the dust.
It was a miserable experience, with a lot of craptastic music (especially fruity house music), and what's more, often a breeding ground for lefty scum.

Good riddance.

Some fairly recent examples:
http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2014/may/15/dcs-love-affair-with-megaclubs-has-ended/?page=all
http://www.thestar.com/life/2013/04/11/with_its_clubs_disappearing_where_will_toronto_dance.html

Moreover, it seems to be dying across the pond as well.
In the UK:
http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/features/not-going-out-why-millennials-are-no-longer-going-to-night-clubs-10449036.html
"the UK's total portfolio of nightclubs shrink by almost half from 3,144 in 2005 to 1,733 a decade later"

In Germany:
http://www.spiegel.de/international/zeitgeist/berlin-night-clubs-under-threat-from-gentrification-a-824375.html
"He researched the city-state of Berlin's club scene and discovered that no fewer than 15 clubs are under acute threat of closure. That's unacceptable, says Goiny. "It's normal for clubs to move location from time to time," he says. "But it's a new trend that virtually whole city districts are being cleared." "


Lol at this catlady bemoaning the death of nightclubs:
http://nicmillerstales.com/2015/08/14/oh-nightclubs-are-we-done-with-you/
"I didn’t just dance: I listened (yes, we made ourselves heard above the strobe and bass) argued, learned and the kernel of socialism within me grew and hardened. "
(the rest of her article is just a slow-motion train wreck)


My parting gift to you Cappy, is some decent music,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGmTjSNgBLM

and a raised glass, toasting the demise of the nightclub.

Cheers!


Anonymous said...

The smoking ban was a huge detriment to the bar/pub industry. Whether it hurt dance clubs specifically to the same extent, I don't know -- but it didn't help.

Anonymous said...

In other words, when it comes to the Night Club Industry, Women are the product.
If you don't pay for it, you are the product.

Don't tell this to feminists, they will boil in rage, LOL !

Whenever they accept free stuff, little do they know, they are the product.

MHJack said...

New Dating Service: Two Handsome Eligible Men in Suits to escort a woman and several of her married friends on "Girls Night Out".
Providing Dancing, Charming company, and Protection.
No Strings, No Pressure.
Guaranteed Fun

Glen Filthie said...

Back before you were counselling young men about women, Cap...I was in your boat counselling men like you! (I'm in my 50's and could have written pretty much everything you have - only ten years earlier! Unfortunately I was not as good with words as you and probably not as bright! HAR HAR HAR!

You sound bitter and acrimonious about all this when you shouldn't be. Allow me the soap box to bloviate for a bit:

Back in the 90's I counselled the young pups (like your own Captain here)- to stay the hell away from nightclubs and the cretins, male AND female - that infested them. In those days, cops were constantly raiding the clubs for drugs. The gangs were ever present and at one point the women were often prostituting for them. It wasn't uncommon for some gangbanging POS to open fire on one of his simian competitors in close proximity to innocents. At the very best, you might get a prospect for a pump-N-dump as you fellas like to put these days. You simply didn't meet decent women there. It's even worse now.

Boys, ya meet good women at church. Or at the gym. Or at school. Or when you're out with your friends. Any woman you take up with has to be good OUT of the sack as well as in it. You need a woman that can entertain you when you're both flat broke and don't have two cents to rub together. That means you have to get along while walking the dog, watching TV or puttering about the house. Those kinds of women are in short supply and do not have to put up with the BS of the night club to find men.

The rules that applied to your granddad and great granddad will work even better for you in today's twisted sexual and political climate: long, formal courtship, often with chaperones! Embrace that - we all know how easy it is to get wrongfully accused of rape. Or sued for paternity FOR eternity. For gawdsakes, don't f*** it unless you are prepared to own it. There is no such thing as free love or free sex and never has been. That was a pipe dream women came up with when they graduated from cigarettes to the bong back in the 60's.

It never fails to amaze me: men will choose their college or university, guns, packs, trucks and computers after thorough and exhaustive research and careful analysis...and then expect the right woman to fall into their laps...at a fuggin night club!

If the divorce stats are correct 50% of the women out there are unfit for marriage. That means that not only are they not fit to be wives - they aren't fit to be mothers either. Don't take your eye off the ball: you NEED a good woman to get ahead these days. I part with The Captain on minimalism: I want that big mile-gobbling motorcycle. I want a nice car and truck. I want a nice home. All those things are possible but they take a strong classical marriage to achieve.

I did it! And so can you! I will enjoy the declind...but I fully intend to defy it as well. Wish me luck boys - and good luck to you too in the days ahead!

Anonymous said...

The Cappy neglects all the agitating from MADD which give rise to in harsh DUI laws.

Before MADD’s crusade against fun, one actually had to be “drunk” to run afoul of the law, and even if one was blitzed, the cop would often just follow you home. Back in the day it was at the cop’s discretion, then the legal limit was set at 0.2, then lowered to 0.15, then 0.10, then 0.08, and now in some places 0.05 (which is effectively zero tolerance).

Why are bars faring better? 1.) Genuine drunks frequent bars and drunks disregard DD laws and drive anyway. 2.) Travel distance. A club is a destination. People drive across town or in from the burbs to go clubbing. This puts them at much greater risk of a DUI than the short drive home from a local bar.

Anonymous said...

The slow death af America. You were right Aaron about taxes:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8y-NgiSxXUM

Anonymous said...

Spot on. Women are cheaper to rent by the hour anyway, and you get exactly what you want with no BS. And best of all, when you are done, they leave. That right there is priceless.

David Suspended said...

I'm a millennial and I've never been to a nightclub in my life. I don't even know where the nightclub is. If I want to get drunk, I buy a cheap bottle of wine at CVS or walk a block to a bar. I pre-drink to take the edge off.

Anonymous said...

Oh yes. A man should evaluate the women he knows, invite the promising ones to mid-morning coffee in a nice place, no dinner, and see how he feels about them. Only three coffees. Find out who this person is, then take her to a bang-up dinner only to celebrate that you are getting married. Not to see if you like her. Nobody ever got to know anybody after 4 pm. Anything later than that is just theater and theater is illusion by definition. You can't complain "it's all illusion". Of course it is. It's supposed to be. If you prefer reality to illusion, examine people's characters over time, have small non-committal contact with them in a calm atmosphere, and see who is worth your time. Don't go sending flowers or your feelings to people you don't know yet.

Men have been trained since the Middle Ages to get all romantic over women, and that has its place, and its uses. But don't long for it so much that you see it where it doesn't exist.

Women: put on a skirt, go off the Pill (you need to ovulate normally) get into a very low comfortable dress shoe, get tinted contacts if you wear glasses, bonded teeth if you need them, and lightened hair. Don't wear any denim, or any rings. If on top of all that (none of it is hard) you can also move your opinions a few inches to the right, you will be married by New Year's 2016.

Try it. Freak out your friends and relatives. Might be fun.

So I agree with this post. Clubbing is stupid for men. It is just teaching them to do the begging. That's not good for them and is dumb.

Anonymous said...

When it comes to the night club industry, women are the product.
If you don't pay for something, you are the product.

Anonymous said...

This is terrific.

Robert of Otawa said...

Professionals give you more bang for your buck, as it were.

PaladinPhil said...

Yeah, the club scene was only kept up by those that thought it meant something. Here in Toronto, Canada, the club scene is still fairly active. Although that doesn't mean much. I know more friends and acquaintances that prefer drinking at home or at the local watering hole. Reasons? Cheaper drinks, no covers, and better times had by all. Clubs are just fancy ways to separate you from your hard earned cash fast and efficiently.

Anonymous said...

Nice article. I'd never really thought of it like that. Why still a sausage fest out then?

Anonymous said...

Agreed! Theres really no point in going to night clubs to meet new women.
There are only 2 reasons go in my opinion. First is with a group of maybe 5 or more with several opposite sex friends you might be interested in hooking up with. The second reason is going to clubs in an area where its primarily tourists. i.e. Vegas, or holiday destinations for Europeans. i.e. Barcelona, Hamburg ect. Many of these girls are in "holiday mode" and want to hook up and have a good time. But even then, online dating or any atmosphere where you can talk without screaming in someones ear is definitely better

Anonymous said...

Yes, the Cappy is right. Let me do a back of the cocktail napkin calculation.

Price of club: $50/night at a club, times 8 nights in a month. (Fri & Sat. Extra weekend days are time off for Mr. Horny.) This equals $400.

Price of high-class (and infection free) hooker/escort: $300.

Price of getting laid once a month: The hooker/escort is ahead by a hundred bucks. These are bucks I can spend on other sources of entertainment.

As for me, I'm going for the hooker/escort. F!!k the "club!" If I spend my time and money there, I will not get laid. So, why should I bother.



One Fat Oz Guy said...

Everything moves into and out of fashion. I think we're seeing is the transition period where young people don't want to go out to clubs (too expensive) but haven't really found the next thing yet.
I personally stopped going to clubs when I was about 25, even then I was a once every three months guys.
The last time (and last straw) was when the club I visited, which is an 80s music club, was full of 18-21 year olds and I was looked at as some kind of perv for daring to check any of the girls out.
Didn't get any luck (come to think of it, never had any luck) so I called it quits and haven't looked back.
One of the other things I noticed with 'my generation' (I'm 35 now) was that most of my friends would cease going out with us once they got girlfriends. The original premise of going out was to have fun, but as soon as they were tied down they were out, which left our clubbing group getting smaller and smaller until there was only a few of us.
Overall I think the end of the clubbing scene can only be a good thing. Hopefully what replaces it is better for everyone.

Anonymous said...

Once a month? Get married, sir.

Intelligently. Intelligently.

I know, I know. I said, intelligently.

As to those expensive weddings! No, no, no, that's not necessary. Coffee and cake in the nearest building with stained glass windows is quite enough. Amateur photography and canned music is quite enough. Two months notice is quite enough.

danny black said...

i was saying that exact thing this afternoon, then bumped into your post. Your a very smart man captain

Peregrine John said...

The Killers have a song that was hard to escape on regular radio a few years ago, Somebody Told Me, which the band says is this: "This is the story of trying to meet someone in a club." It's got everything you're talking about here except for the expense. The sad, desperate, soy-infused beta in the song really is the perfect example.

Unknown said...

No one has any money. And more and more men are beginning to realize that paying for a woman's entertainment is a waste of time.

Anonymous said...

Glen, when you say,

"If the divorce stats are correct 50% of the women out there are unfit for marriage."

That's inaccurate. Half of all marriages ending in divorce means the total aggregate of marriages. Among women, there are those who've been divorced repeatedly, and more who have been married just once.

Anonymous said...

It is perfectly true that if you go to a club or bar, you will meet ... the kind of people who go to clubs and bars. Obviously.

You only go to a bar for a little amusement WITH a date. Not alone.

Women: this goes for you too. Only go into a place like that on a guy's arm. Never alone or with other women. Exactly whom are you trying to meet, anyway? Exactly who do you think is there, and why?

Meet somebody another way.

Every single thing people experience marks them, and has an influence on what they become. One has to protect one's innocence. There's no "just once" or "just sometimes but I'm not really like that".

Clubs are for ogling. It is much better to be the person ogled than the one doing the ogling. So, stay out of clubs.

There are places where you will be the one who is ogled. Those often are places where your social power is on exhibit, such as work and school. Not college. Schooling post college. One can take non-degree courses for the rest of one's life.

Women, stay out of soft courses. Only study something hard. There will be few women there, and if you are in a skirt, you own the room. A skirt past your knee. Extra credit for a ladylike, not a sport, shoe. No rings. No denim.

Anonymous said...

I can understand the rationale for the night club: meeting other people.
But I don't understand the logic of bars.
Couldn't they go to the liquor store and drink at home. A lot cheaper that way and you don't need to drive home, you are already home.

Build your own home bar. A lot cheaper that way.

RedViolin said...

Ummm I hate to tell you this, but the nightclub industry has been going downhill since the 1920s. In the late 20s, there was a street in Kansas city that had 49 live music clubs.
I spent two decades working as a musician in nightclubs, starting in my teens, and I have watched with interest as they continued to decline-so I feel I know more than most about the nightclub scene.
Many of the nightclubs had shady characters running them or behind the scenes, gangster types, high end drug dealers etc. If you think about it a bit, you will understand why. Nightclubs are a cash business, offering a way to launder money and meet hot babes at the same time. Obviously, non-gangster owners had a tough time competing.
Once I got to know the scene a bit, I amused myself by trying to guess which guys would get laid and which ones didn't have a chance. Some of the hot women could be really cruel to the earnest accountant types who asked them to dance etc. They would say things like "Aren't you batting out of your league?" On the other hand, in later years, I knew some of them who would "go commando", and give a flash to the local sports heroes who came in.
When I was playing in a good and popular band, I could spot a hot woman, talk to her for a few minutes, and end up taking her home to stay the night. A few weeks later, after the band broke up, I could walk into the same club and not get a sniff.
I didn't perceive the loud music as something club owners did to please women though. I saw it more as a macho thing where club owners competed with each other to see who had the hottest system. I continue to believe that women on average, prefer quieter music than men do. But its intriguing to me that the "going commando" move which I mentioned above, only started when the music got too loud to talk over.
There are a multitude of reasons that I can see for the demise of nightclubs and live entertainment: - Alternative forms of entertainment, (radio, television and movies, the internet, karaoke) -Liquor is now highly taxed, and there is far less tolerance for impaired driving. -as you point out, the internet hook up culture.
I feel some sadness and nostalgia for the entertainment culture we have lost-but what can you do? With the rise of immersive reality entertainment, I see the trend continuing in the future.

Micha Elyi said...

Hard to get my head around the concept of a nightclub in the Twin Cities.

Terenthia said...

Wow. Ever think that maybe women don't go to night clubs to get hit on and slobbered over? That we just want to dance with our girlfriends, and are tired of getting groped?
If the night clubs got together and all targeted women, charged them for the product they are selling, then it would be obvious--but since the night clubs are trying to get the money out of the men, this is how it works. Don't blame the women, they are just being smart, and getting what they want out of the experience.

David Pittelli said...

The other option is a club with live music. The band is something to look at and discuss, you can talk between sets, and the people there are more interested in music and less in getting plastered.

Captain Capitalism said...

Terenthia, is that why they're always dressed like street walkers? Just to "dance and have fun?" If that was the case I'd presume you girls would wear sweats and tennis shoes.

Anonymous said...

I was terrible at nightclubs- I just don't have the personality to go up to a woman with big hair and a tight dress and get her to leave with me. I was much better at parties- where I could actually talk to a woman and my limited wit would shine through.

But the internet was a breakthrough for me. I was able to write decent enough emails to get a phone call, or a meet for drinks- and one on one I'm pretty good.

You couldn't pay me to go to a club now.

Anonymous said...

Speaking as kind of an unatractive, dorky-looking guy, I can confirm that nightclubs were torture for me as a young man. I worked hard to look better, I worked out, didn't get fat, but I just have one of those unattractive 'things' going on. Looks are king in the bellowing darkness of those shitpits, if you ain't got it you ain't getting it. I often wondered why the door people kind of treated me like I was trying to break into their house, I mean, they want my money right? So why treat me like they're doing ME a favour taking it? Now I know.

Anyway, good post.

BTW I got married and I'm happy now, but I sure as hell didn't meet her in a nightclub. Die a death, nightclub industry, I piss on your grave.

amcz said...

Millennials are also driving and drinking less, so that'll affect the club scene.

The pick-up artists might have had an effect on clubs. Yes it seems ridiculous that such a small percentage of people could have such an effect, but the real dedicated ones might hit 10 clubs a night. And some of them try cold approaching on streets. (I guess they've never heard the term "opportunity cost".)

Anonymous said...

Picking up women at a bar is like buying the dented cans at the grocery store.

PD Quig said...

I always told myself, lovelorn family, friends, and children one simple rule: "Do what you have to do (work), do what you love to do (church, hobbies, hang with friends), and along the way you will meet some people worth investing in." That's it. That is where to find your woman or man. Looking anywhere else is like fishing in a rock quarry. Prohibitively bad odds.

Anonymous said...

There's something super obvious in this that the Captain and all the other male commenters seem to be missing: There's some reason that women want to go to these things, and it's painfully clear it's not to find guys. The reason is that dancing with lots of people to a driving beat can be extremely fun in itself, including if you flail around like an idiot. You know what it feels like when you're nodding in the car to music that makes you want to move? Bouncing with a crowd is 100 times better.

What makes it not fun is that you're trying to pick up girls, and worrying about impressing them. To have fun, you have to work at not giving a fuck what people, especially girls, think. This is super hard for men. It's totally different for girls, they know that if they "dress like street walkers" as the Captain said, the guys will be impressed whether they have moves or not, so they don't have to get over fear in the same way. That, by the way, is why they do it; they want to look good, not pick you up.

The reason I know this is that I'm a ju jitsu practictioner who is very large who learned to love dancing exactly by not giving a fuck. And I learned not to give a fuck after some painful marriages, and I kept my distance from women for a while there, and definitely don't want to get my heart broken again; and the kind of woman who would cheat with me would be certain to do that. So now I often take groups of married women friends clubbing; the husbands know me. I have a blast, but when we've picked the wrong club I've had to shoulder some guys off.

Different clubs have different atmospheres; some have dancers, and some are meat markets, and some are in between. If you want to have fun, pick an event where you're not allowed to bring drinks on the dance floor (anything where they admit people under the drinking age), and find a space on the floor, and dance like a cross between a drunk Zulu and a drunk Highlander. If you can find some guy friends who aren't too scared of looking gay by going in a group, it'll be even better.

Anonymous said...

Good dance music is a different thing than good music to listen to. Good dance music is highly repetitive because you need time to get your body in time with the music and with the changes, unless you're a very skilled dancer. But that makes it boring to sit there and listen to. This is why a radio mix of a given song will be three minutes long and a club mix of the same song will be ten minutes. Also, dance music needs to be woven around a strong, unwavering beat in a pretty narrow range of possible speeds, and listening music has far more freedom in terms of time, time changes, the primacy of percussion, etc.

Tony Trucano said...

I cannot stand bars or night clubs. I am pretty introverted and I usually try to vacate the grounds. I do well in a classroom setting. My recommendation to guys trying to court American women is to take a night class at the community college. Good ratios.