Sunday, November 29, 2009

Achievements in Bachelor History

While becoming the optimal bachelor certainly is an art, little known to the non-bachelor community there is actually a lot of science behind the art. One of the main goals is minimalism, ie- where you try to minimalize the unnecessary things in life.

For example making the bed takes too much time. You minimalize it by never making your bed in the first place and leaving it just the way you left it for you're just going to mess it up again. I've gone so far as to even get rid of my bed because I never used it and now sleep on the couch in front of the LCD projector.

Or minimalizing children. I for example have zero. It makes life a lot easier.

CD's? Don't have them anymore, converted them entirely to MP3 and donated the CD's to goodwill.

Dishes? 1 spoon, 1 fork, 1 bowl, 1 plate. Never use them because I always eat out.

Now I can go on and point out other areas where the Minimalistic Principle applies in bachelorhood, however I have now achieved another great milestone in minimalism;

I can fit all my clothes into one hamper.

Oh sure, they're smushed in there pretty good (because folding clothes you see is just another waste of time), and probably have the molecular density of uranium, but they're in one good size hamper. This has permitted me to get rid of my dresser (which I never used anyway because my clothes would migrate from the drier to the bed and the floor and stay there until used) and frees up more room for my video game cabinet.

Yes, another Achievement in Bachelor History!

Young aspring, junior, deputy and otherwise official bachelor economists should take note.

11 comments:

AeroGuy said...

You are an inspiration and a voice of sanity in a world that glorifies appearances over efficiency.

Anonymous said...

CD's? Don't have them anymore, converted them entirely to MP3 and donated the CD's to goodwill.

That's horrifying. You should have converted them to FLAC, Apple Lossless, or WMA Lossless.

Oz said...

You must be my evil twin - I am a young economist bachelor (by choice), a minimalist AND sleep on the couch in front of the LCD for the same reason!

Anonymous said...

I like the simplification and minimalization philosophy. Everything you own in reality owns a piece of you, your time and your resources.

The less stuff you have, the more freedom you have.

Nick Rowe said...

Listen to him guys. He knows whence he speaks.

Dave said...

Sounds like you only need a two room house with a living room and a bathroom. Why is living room two words and bathroom one word?

Anonymous said...

Thought you'd enjoy this graph
http://blog.american.com/?p=7572

Anonymous said...

I also suspect that our dear captain never ever invites persons of the opposite sex into his abode.

It's not that he's uncharming or anything but it's a lot easier to stay at their place, and I kinda suspect that a woman in his abode would result minor changes.

Oh sure, it'd be incremental at first, socks no longer on the floor alone, a clean bathroom, a fresh vegetable in the fridge... but soon there'd be an ironing board and one morning the guys from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy would be dragging a bewildered and drugged economist around town.

For his own good.

Ryan Fuller said...

Excellent work, captain. Here's how I stack up:

"I've gone so far as to even get rid of my bed because I never used it and now sleep on the couch in front of the LCD projector."

I have a bed because I don't have an LCD projector or own my own TV at all.

"Or minimalizing children. I for example have zero. It makes life a lot easier."

Likewise. Children are bad.

"CD's? Don't have them anymore, converted them entirely to MP3 and donated the CD's to goodwill."

I never bought CDs to begin with. Ever. All my music is on my PC.

"Dishes? 1 spoon, 1 fork, 1 bowl, 1 plate. Never use them because I always eat out."

I'm living the high life here; I also own a knife, a pan for frying eggs, and a spatula. I use them frequently because I eat out only rarely. I'm compulsively frugal.

"I can fit all my clothes into one hamper."

That's quite impressive. I did away with using a dresser years ago. I have two suitcases; one for clean clothes (white and colored), one for dirty whites and I just put the colored clothes back in my laundry bag, ready to wash again. I wear button-up shirts a lot, so I have a few of those hanging in the closet. You've out-bachelored me Captain, and that takes some doing.

Captain Capitalism said...

That's alright Mr. Fuller. You're younger than me. Give it time.

LordSomber said...

Come on! Everyone knows the more clothes you have, the less you have to do laundry. Gotta couple of hefty sacks in the closet myself.