As you know I am part Irish. And I find these jokes INSENSITIVE AND INSULTING! No, just kidding, I'm actually quite secure in my Irish-hood. Actually, if you have any, certainly please feel free to send them my way. St. Patrick's day is only 186 days away. Need to start preparing for it now.
Here's your joke;
So Paddy asks Murphy, "Why do SCUBA divers always fall backwards off their boats?"
To which Murphy replies, "Well if they fell forward they'd still be in the frickin' boat."
Thus concludes your recession medicine for the day.
8 comments:
That is not funny.
Not funny at all.
It's actually hilarious!
@anon:
Going to have to disagree. That is incredibly funny.
What is red, white, pink and useless on a woman? An Irishman.
I liked the joke. If told in person in the right manner, setting and time it would be hilarious.
I don't see what it has to do with the Irish though, unless you're merely substituting Irish for Polack as the stereotypical dimwit. It would be funnier if told with a thick accent.
i lived in dublin 5 years so here is a real irish joke.
there is an accident in the guinness factory as a worker falls in a big beer tank and drowns.
the wife runs in desperation to the factory to see the body of the poor guy and tells the other workers "please, tell me that at least he didnt suffer"
and a colleague says "sorry ma'am, but he actually had to get out and go to the loo a couple times before drowning"
another one:
Irishman walks into a shop and is instantly captured by the sight of a shining, stainless steel, phallus shaped object. He asks the shopkeep "Wowo, what is that?" (get the accent right for all quotes, it just makes it better).
The shopkeep replies "It's a Thermos."
"What's it for?"
"Well, it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
"I've got to have that!" was the reply and an exchange shortly ensued.
The next day at lunch the Paddy was sitting with his fellow Paddies and proudly pulled his Thermos out of the bag for all to see.
"Ooooo, what is that?" they asked.
"It's a Thermos" he proudly beamed.
"Ooh, what's it do?"
"It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold" he claims.
"Wow" one asks, "so what've you got in there?"
"Coffee and ice cream."
Badunk-cha!
A Texan swaggers into an Irish Pub in Dublin. Being a Texan, he is big, bold, bragging, and above loud.
"I have $100 here for anyone in this pub that can drink ten pints of Guinness one right after another. That's One Hundred American Dollars, the finest currency in the world!"
No one moves, except for the skinniest palest little Irishman who jumped up and ran out of the pub.
Pretty soon the Texan starts buying everyone drinks, and talking about how much fun he is having in Ireland, and how he was just acting like an ugly American to get some conversations started, and in the middle of all of that, he feels a tap on his shoulder.
He turns around, and right there is the same little guy that took off so fast when the Texan first made his boast.
[with an Irish accent] "Are you still offering that $100 for anyone that can down 10 pints of Guinness?" he asked.
"Sure, if you think you are up for it."
So the bartender sets them up, ten pints in a row. Sure enough the little 95 pound weakling guy puts them all away in about 10 minutes.
The Texan was stunned. He asks the little guy why he ran out when the challenge was first made.
[with an Irish accent] "Well, I wasn't sure I could pull it off, so I ran across the village to the other pub to try it first."
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