Tuesday, June 04, 2013

College Administrators Resorting to Cold Calling

I cannot fully explain just how much I loathe college administrators.  In due time they will become the next "bankers" in that society, especially younger folk, will wake up and realize just how much these vermin of society screwed them over selling them not just a bill of goods, and not just crippling their finances, but how they brainwashed the youth to so effortlessly go into debt to pay for their bloated salaries.  And when the education bubble collapses they will be the righteous scapegoats just like the bankers were for the housing bubble.

However, there is good news on the front.  News that shows just how desperate college administrators are that the gravy train may be ending.

From my Secret College Student Agent in the Field:

"Hey there. Just a quick note between study sessions. I wanted to let you know the latest work-study project I have been helping with. Cold calling former students. Yup. 2k+ Names and numbers of students that were enrolled for spring, but have not yet enrolled for fall semester. This is the script I was given.

"Hello, my name is------, from FUU and we just wanted to let everyone know that enrollment is now open for fall semester. If you have any questions our website, fuu.edu, is available or you are welcome to call us at XXX-XXX-XXX. Thank you have a great day"

Fall classes start Sept. 2nd, so there is still plenty of time to enroll, but the administrators are poopin their pants, because by this time there should be loooooots more enrolled, and summer was down a lot also. I don't have those numbers yet, but for them to rally the troops to cold call it has to be bad. First crack in the edububble? Well see.

I hate cold calling. yuck. YOur tax dollars at work, go work study."

Sniff, sniff.  You'll forgive me if a little tear of pride in my little agent in the field is welting in my eye.

Remember, June is "Worthless Degree Awareness Month."  Do your part by forwarding, linking or just plain warning your kids about the risks of majoring in a worthless degree.  Also consider buying the book "Worthless" which is .0016% the cost of the average college degree (unless you buy a Kindle version which is only .0006%!)


Anonymous said...

The collapse of higher education is going to put multitudes of "strong and independent" feminists on the unemployment line.

"Will shame your hegemonic cisgendered patriarchal white male privilege for food."

Bob Wallace said...

Most women's "jobs" are make-work, anyway.

My girlfriend was thinking about going back to college and she got 100 calls from colleges.

Anonymous said...


To those of you who majored in women's studies, peace studies, general studies, African American studies, cinema studies, English, journalism, mass communications and political science:

Your degrees suck.


Eric Mueller said...

I've gotten a few cold calls with "We're checking to see if you're interested in furthering your education". I don't think they're college administrators. If it were the university I got my degree from (University of Phoenix), they would identify themselves as such.

I usually respond with something like "I already have a degree and student loans. I'm also on the Do Not Call List, and I'll be reporting this number to donotcall.gov." Then I report it when I get a chance.

I like the generic FUU. F.U. University would make a great generic reference for us to use during Worthless Degree Awareness Month.

Anonymous said...

"I cannot fully explain just how much I loathe college administrators" - you jest! Having spent my life in universities I have no such difficulties! College administrators are the scum and dregs of humanity. They are largely unnecessary (one does need a payroll department) - universities are inherently rather simple structures, which the professors can run quite adequately (which shows how simple they are). It is the scumbags who have attempted to complexify them, forced in worthless subjects, enforced pc, and pushed up the cost of education.

They are the ones who set up and run F.U.U.

James Roberts said...

"The collapse of higher education is going to put multitudes of "strong and independent" feminists on the unemployment line."

You can't imagine (well maybe here people can) how much the phrase "strong and independent woman" grates my nerves. I have not only become convinced of the inevitable economic collapse but look forward to it to see just how "strong and independent" these women are.

Anonymous said...

If women thought they were equal to men, they wouldn't need to call themselves "strong and independent women" - they'd call themselves women.