I had linked to this before in a linkage fest, but felt it warrants its own post.
At a very young age I knew diamonds were worthless. They were shinny rocks. They did nothing but sit on fingers. And the amount of money I heard the "adults" said they spent on them, I knew they could buy a lot more cool and practical stuff, say like, food, and ohhhhh, rent.
Of course, as I aged, life empirically proved my skepticism, and my education between college and poverty also confirmed to me just was a frivolous expense diamonds were.
However, it wasn't until yesterday reading this post at Maggie's Farm did I really realize what diamonds TRULY are -
They are the world's biggest shit test.
Understand what a woman is asking you to do, gentlemen, when she wants that diamond ring. She wants you to:
1. Spend as much as your money as possible
2. On a veritably worthless hunk of rock that
3. Offers no genuine production, value or worth other than to
4. Inflate her petty ego as she uses it to brag to her equally hollow and shallow friends who
5. Are such vain and worthless people as they measure human worth based on the size of a rock.
In short it is a purified economic test of the shits. She wants to see how much of your PRECIOUS FINITE LIFE you are willing to sacrifice on SOMETHING THAT HAS NO VALUE. It is the biggest hoop. The biggest hurdle. The biggest shit test. And it is also incredibly demeaning.
How do you deal with this shit test?
Like any other.
You get a small diamond, or better yet, no diamond at all. You find a ruby, an emerald, something prettier than a boring old diamond. You say, "I'm not getting you some big ass diamond, and matter of fact, we're not pissing away precious funds on a bullshit wedding. We're going to Vegas and getting married by "The Flying Elvi."
Of course, if you're at the stage a woman is still shit-testing you, and you're about to propose AND you still don't know how to pass shit-tests, then go ahead and pony up your 4 months salary, sucker. You may also want to start stashing away for a divorce fund which you're probably going to need later. For the larger the diamond you buy, the less of a woman you have.