Wednesday, June 05, 2013

The Efficiency of Male Anger and Bluntness

Life is short.

It is only short because it is finite and has an end.

Thus, why you get enragingly pissed when you are behind somebody going 2 MPH under the speed limit.

Because, no it isn't "'ONLY' 2 MPH, why are you so easily angered?"

It is a parasitic, verminous, scum-human directly transferring precious seconds of your life into their luxurious leisure to drive slow and hold up the rest of society.

Thus, why I like blunt, direct, and truthful (read - "male") conversation and honesty (and yes, that "male" bit was a test).

You see, since I am finite and I am going to die, I want to get the most bang for my "seconds of life" buck while on this planet.  And no matter how petty or minor somebody holding up my life, be it in the form of a soccer mom talking on her phone in the left lane beside a semi going the exact same speed, or morons who are too stupid to use the self-check out lane at the grocery store, but occupy it none the less, preventing me from getting on with my life, I want them out of my life.

Unfortunatley, murder (let alone the mass-murder on a scale required to eliminate all the bottleneck people in my life) isn't legal, and until it is, I am relegated to maximizing my life's efficiency via other means, namely those that are legal and within my control.

One of these primary means is dealing with direct, blunt people.  

Oh, yes, in today's timid and pansified emasculated society "blunt, direct, and truthful" means

"mean"
"bigoted"
"racist"
"hateful"
"asshole"

and whatever other terms the castratti has come up with,

but these people are the most noble, honest, and trustworthy people you can associate yourself with. 

They don't waste your time, they don't waste your life, they don't care about your feelings, and in a very altruistic way (assuming you can be an adult and not take pansidied victimization umbrage because you're addicted to woeismeism)

listening to them
interacting with them
conducting commerce with them
and otherwise engaging with them

will improve your lot in life in that you are dealing with reality and a person who deals with reality, not a charalatan playing "Minnesota Nice" who is lying to you so you have warm fuzzies.

So you'll appreciate the (literally) hours of precious finite life I'll save you about which next video game console to commit to when I present this blunt, harsh, "mean," "cruel," "arrogant," and all the other epitaphs that are now compliments in the real world, analysis of whether you should buy Sony, Nintendo or XBox's newest generation.

You can thank me by calling me names and telling me what an asshole I am.

19 comments:

rmaxgenactivepua said...

You could also Capitalise the start of your sentences ...

Your supposed to enjoy the decline

Your grammar's supposed to be independent of a stock market price fixed scam ...

Anonymous said...

So somebody driving a couple of miles below the speed limit so normal variation in their driving does not cause them to break the law is now an affront to all that is holy?

I give up on you. You have defined good to be whatever you want and every thing else to be bad. That is very close to the definition of solipsism.

El Bastardo said...

In the words of Nigel Powers "There are two kinds of people in the World I can't stand, those who despise and can't respect the cultures and opinions of others; and the Dutch!"

I hate blunt assholes who have to kill everyone I agree with. Therefore, I must kill you and everyone like you for interrupting that leisure time I was taking.

Sincerely,
The Castrati.

Mindfulness said...

Nobody can waste your life but you.

You can utilize all of your time, even sleeping, by cultivating a life of the mind.

This is where a mindfulness meditation practice comes in handy.

It also lowers stress levels which is overall good for health and longevity, in which case your life may not end up as short as you original though.

Americans are totally lost when it comes the life of the mind, or the mind sciences, not your fault but its just not in your culture, but are fortunate that now those are familiar with such practices are here to teach you.



ray said...

a captain of Capitalism can go loweR Case if he wants, thats how he rose thru the ranks and named his blog, by using capitals judiciously

you dont actually think this guy believes in that 'economics' crapola? keynes and fiat blahblah? heh whatta scam nope its all about the Word, leetle letters

anybody in modern america using the word 'castratti' publically can call himself General far as i'm concerned, given he's more rare and useful than one

James Wolfe said...

I used to get impatient with SAM's (slow ass mother#$%s), on the highway, at the checkouts. Everywhere you go there's someone who's oblivious to everyone around them. People who push their buggy halfway through the exit then stand there and look over their receipt, balance their checkbook, or dig through their pockets for their keys, totally blocking EVERYONE from exiting. Idiots who are at the express automated checkout writing a check, inserting $134.95 in ones, nickels and dimes, or have to read every word on the screen and still can't figure out how to use the damn thing. People who get in the left lane and drive 1 mph faster than everyone in the next lane over so that it takes 12 miles for them pass.

But then I learned to relax and enjoy the moment. Watching the guy endlessly changing lanes trying to get around the SAM's, to watch him fly past everyone then get stuck behind the soccer mom while everyone in the lane he just left passes him by. Watching him do it over and over again, never actually getting ahead. After an hour of playing leap frog all it gets him is worn out brakes, high blood pressure, and a significantly increased chance of wrecking that expensive sports car he bought to compensate for a deficiency in his anatomy.

I used to be that guy. Now when I'm in heavy traffic I pick the lane I know that moves slow but steady, because I've observed it, week after week, month after month, and I know that over time it actually moves faster. I don't pick the fast lane that EVERYONE wants to be in because that's the lane that ALWAYS comes to a screeching halt because everyone is packed together bumper to bumper. I've seen the wrecks. I've watched them happen. I'm two lanes over from that. I pass them by.

I don't go to the express lanes. I don't go to the automated lanes. That's where the morons and grandmothers go. I go to the regular lane, throw my stuff on the belt, let the underpaid unskilled teenager ring it up for me. If I go to the automated lane the damn thing won't scan half the time because the screen is filthy. And if God forbid I should select the one item in the store that isn't listed in their massive mainframe then I'm stuck there with the blinking help light waiting for the only attendant for six lanes to finish helping grandma scan her 37 coupons for cat food and depends.

So why be in a hurry? The idiots rule the world. Just get in the line that requires the least amount of attention and let your mind drift off to somewhere sunny and pleasant. While I'm drifting along I'm planning my next project, designing my next video game level, listening to a song in my head. Enjoying the decline means letting it all go. Let it all go to hell around you. Let the world collapse while you stand in line looking at the babe on the cover of Cosmo or reading the ridiculous headlines on The Enquirer. And when I drive I appreciate the scenery, the trees, the mountains. It's all part of living the decline.

Mindfulness said...

Also, this is short, sweet, simple but good advice. It says "for children" but its applicable for adults with child-impatience (probably all of us Americans). It will help you make more efficient use of your mind;

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2010/07/buddhist-advice-for-children-who-are-about-to-lose-their-temper-punch-someone/

earl said...

I talked with a gal about Minnesota nice after I put it in my blunt terms. She told me she could tell I wasn't from here and that was a good thing.

I told her since I was a foreigner I have what they call "Minnesota horrible".

Eric Mueller said...

You hit the nail on the head. I dropped my friend off after work yesterday and started heading for home. The main road was clogged, so I took a back road to save part of the stretch of traffic. I was coming up to rejoin the main road at a light that, if you don't catch just right, you can sit at forever waiting to make a right.

The right turn arrow was green, and I was going to make it, until some idiot leisurely and slowly drifted over in front of me, then slowed down while the light was still green. The light turned green. Clueless idiot just sat there, even when a few openings appears. Finally, the cycle completed and the light turned green, and this person still took a while to get off the line.

Life is too short for this BS. Sometimes I think these people are radio dispatched to keep me from getting where I want to be.

Anonymous said...

Your commentary points out one of the reasons I wish the shit would finally hit the fan in this country so that the anarchy in the streets will begin and these assholes will quickly perish when no law is there to protect them from their just deserves. What's left when the dust settles should be the "Doers" and nothing more. We can then start over without the worthless baggage dragging us down.

Joe Bar said...

@James Wolfe:

You have it absolutely right. There is no point in wasting thoughts on these people or things. They are going to happen. Plan for them, and reserve your mental capacities for more worthy subjects.

Joe Bar said...

Wait a minute. This post is about video games? Jumpin'jesus on a pogo stick. Why did I even bother?

Mina said...

I am extremely blunt and to the point. I am a woman. So, I am characterized as a bitch, angry, irrational, agitated, and a bitch. Most people especially hate cold logic. That will really send them off.

Anonymous said...

Hey Cappy
I tend to agree with many of your posts and much of what you write but seriously, dude, you need to lighten up and get some perspective. There are real issues and there are minor irritants - and this is a minor irritant in my book. We can't have you stroking out on us over something this unimportant. Cheers.

Anonymous said...

Har! I personally do not trust "nice" people, especially "nice" men; and recommend that noone else trust them either. "Niceness" covers a multitude of sins; the blunt straightforward man lays it out as it is.

SM777 said...

Watching the guy endlessly changing lanes trying to get around the SAM's, to watch him fly past everyone then get stuck behind the soccer mom while everyone in the lane he just left passes him by.
------------------------------------
Gentlemen, I have actually figured this out. At the risk of sounding politically incorrect and sexist (I probably am, but I am also in touch with reality), I have actually figured out why most highways are clogged during rush hour and other times.

It's concerning the women. Almost all of the time, they are not on the road to go anywhere, but to see and to be seen. That's it.

If you operate on that assumption, you can quickly figure out how to work around them. Seriously.

Two examples, many times at a three way stop, with literally no cars around, I have seen a woman just sit there for over five minutes looking each way and not moving. Honestly, several times. Now, when the way is clear, (and there are no cops around), I simply swerve around her and keep going so she can sit there all day looking back and forth. Also, on the highway, I have seen them come to a complete stop, with no one in front of them and just sit there, that's it. This has happened several times. No, I'm not tailgating and none of them seem to care that stopping in the middle of a highway is illegal, they occasionally just do it.

Just assume they really don't want to go anywhere and figure out work-arounds. Your life will be much more pleasant and peaceful if you do.

I speak from experience and I have been a licensed driver since 1981. I have frequently read road maps (no, I don't use a GPS), to figure work-arounds to commuting traffic problems and I live in northern Virginia.

Once you have properly identified the core/underlying problem, you will be able to find the proper solution.

Joe Bar said...

Well.

Finally watched the video posted. Thank you, Captain. That wasfunny, even to a non-video gamer.

Anonymous said...

Your thoughts create your reality. Create a better one, and de-stress your life. For God's sake breathe!

Shahrzad Shariati said...

Had a math teacher who was wonderfully blunt. Everyone thought he was an asshole but he proved to care about our education more than any of the "nice" teachers.There was never any bullshit in his class, and so we always knew what we needed to improve on.