There's a bar called "The Vault" in Hot Springs, SD. It's about the only place that fits my age, has decent food and internet access.
I was working my mother's-basement-based internet media empire when two very attractive young women walked in. They were decked out, in heels and groomed perfectly.
I naturally assumed they were with the "Ms. South Dakota" pageant which is hosted in Hot Springs and thus ignored them. I continued with my work, finished my burger and went up to the bar to pay my tab.
However, my path had me go right past the two entrants and so enroute to the cashier I stopped and asked,
"Are you girls entrants in the beauty pageant?"
They, surprisingly said, "no." I continued on to the bar to pay my tab, but in that short 3 minutes I was confused. They were WAY too good looking to be locals. Too young to be natives. And too dressed up to be from the area. I caught a hint of an accent and so on the return trip to my table I stopped by again and asked,
"Excuse me, but do you mind if I ask you a question."
They said, "sure."
"If you're not with the beauty pageant, then why are you here?"
They giggled a little bit and said, "What beauty pageant?"
I said, "The Ms. South Dakota beauty pageant. It's hosted here every summer."
The one on the right said, "No, we're not with the beauty pageant. We're workers at the Vista Hotel. We're from Russia."
And then the light went on.
To handle tourist season a lot of the local hotels, gift shops, and so forth, hire eastern European kids to handle the excess traffic. They get to see some of the most beautiful parts of the US and the employers get cheap labor. And when they said they were from Russia and working at the hotel, it all made sense.
But here is where it gets interesting.
Had they been American women, my inquiry as to whether they were part of the beauty pageant would have been a complete failure. It would have been viewed as sucking up, dismissed, poo pooed, "yeah we know we're hot," and I would have been guaranteed a 100% failure. But since these were girls from Russia, it was the complete opposite.
They were completely flattered.
"Did you really think we were in the beauty pageant?" one said with a smile on her face.
I said, "Yes, but you have to understand. NOBODY dresses up like you girls do in this town and most of the women are old or ugly. You stand out and since the pageant was in town I figured you were part of it."
This innocent and sincere statement only endeared me to them further. They genuinely appreciated the fact I mistook them for beauty pageant contestants. They started asking what I did, why I was there, as I also inquired about them and what they were doing.
However, it was sad because I only had one more day in town and wanted to make sure these young ladies got the most out of their trip. Since I couldn't play the role of tour guide, I wrote everything I loved about the Black Hills and the Badlands down on a napkin making them promise me they would visit these sites even if it took a little money. They thanked me and then something very rare happened.
One of them asked me to pull up a chair and join them.
I don't mean this to sound like "Gee shucks whillikers howdy" moment as if a girl never asked me to join them. I mean this as a "holy cow, a courteous gesture on the part of a young woman to be considerate enough to OBSERVE the situation and make a stranger feel welcome." Though I would have liked to talk to them more, I was deadly tired from 300 miles of riding and climbing Bear Butte, and very politely declined the offer, said I had to get some sleep and reiterated the importance they explore and enjoy the Black Hills.
The moral of this story is a simple one.
This is HOW IT SHOULD BE.
Notice there were no sexual overtones or romantic interests. There was no presumptions on the part of the girls. It was just a simple and honest interaction between a guy and two gals. And the women were cordial, kind, sweet, and (dare I point out) physically presentable to the public. When I made my approach they were not rude, dismissive or condescending. Instead they listened, were polite and took me for my word, never once considering engaging in mind games. It resulted in a very enjoyable experience where instead of pulling teeth to merely engage a member of the opposite sex in a non-sexual, genuinely interested, curiosity-based, grounds, I got to enjoy a good conversation with two nice girls that will make two lucky men very happy in the future.
They were ladies. And I suggest American and western women start paying attention if they wish to achieve the same status and respect.
22 comments:
two nice girls that will make two lucky men very happy in the future.
Not after a summer or so in "westernized" culture. I would bet that if you had instead encountered them for the first time some 2-3 months from now, the response might be a bit different.
teh feministism. it's contagious. especially when bolstered by constant social gratification and pedestaling like these two girls likely will be.
Russia is sounding more promising the more I look into it.
Feminism isn't too blame for cynicism from women towards men.
Men can firmly blame themselves.
If they didn't grope, rape, bash, murder, threaten, demand, and act all entitled to touching and possessing woman's bodies, even down to how women should dress, smile and physically look, then there wouldn't be any "attitude" towards men from women.
As men are mostly arseholes towards women, either to their face or behind their backs, it is fortunate that with feminism enabling financial independance for women, women now have a choice about whether or not to put up with men's ridiculously childish sense of entitlement towards them. Smart women tend towards not putting up with any bullshit from men. Those Russia women you met were obviously prostitutes. It's their job to be charming, darlin', that's how everyone gets business.
Waderling, they were not prostitutes. If they were they would not be in Hot Springs. They'd go to Sturgis or Rapid City. The rest of your post is wrong as well.
But you're not bitter at all about anything, are you, sunshine? No chip on your shoulder to be seen.
They're Russian students working at a summer job on a J-1 visa. They're always from a second tier city like Irkutsk, Kazan et al. God bless them!
wanderling, you are so typical of the problem that the captain often addresses on his site here. Women are free to dress and look any way they want and obviously hey do. Just look around you and you will see women on all forms of clothing from sexy to dumpy, professional, sports attire or just plan outrageous. Very few men, if any, feel free to grope rape bash women and if these are the men you know maybe you should consider changing who you hang around with and where. The reality is in today's world, thanks to feminism, men are frequently on edge around women and a simple compliment or flirty comment can be turned on its head and considered an insult or worse.
Women have been able to be financially independent for many years now and if that is what you want you will get no complaints from men. As a mater of fact, it sounds like you will be better off just pursuing your career and not having pesky men trying to talk to you and entertain you. You head has been so filled up with hostile feminist garbage I'm sure few men will want to bother trying. And some day probably not too far off you will be one of those strong,, independent women wondering "Where are all the good men?"
This is why I am marrying a beautiful Russian girl that I was luckily enough to meet in Norfolk VA. You pointed out that this is the way things SHOULD be and you are right on!
"Women now have a choice about whether or not to put up with men's ridiculously childish sense of entitlement towards them."
Yeah...either take his money via divorce or through the government.
You described why I love Eastern European women - they are sweet, nice, and above all feminine. It's like a breath of fresh air - American women are pretty much the bottom of the barrel... But they are easy to bang - which is why I date them. Pretty much the only reason - cheap and easy, like fast food versus steak...
Of course, my druthers tends toward Asian women, but Easter European women are the next best thing...
Feminism does not give women independence, wanderling. The "jobs" that currently enable women to pay rent, finance cars, and make minumum payments on the Citibank card require deficit spending and destructive government meddling. They will go away when the house of cards falls. Trillion dollar annual deficit can't go on forever. The cracks are getting bigger quickly.
And I've never seen the behavior from men that you claim is so universal. How many hours per day do you spend watching television? I bet 6, more on weekends.
My last two Girlfriends have both been from Russia. (It didn't work because they wanted to get married)
Through them I've met lots of Russian women. All of them dress better, are better educated, in much better shape and have much more class than your typical N American girl.
I am simply no longer interested in the spoiled, self-indulgent BS that spews from most western women.
It's not that they were even dressed nice.
It was that they were something as simple as polite and civil. And not until I experienced it with these two did I notice the amazing lack of it on the part of American women.
Why don't you open your eyes to how impolite, demeaning and uncivil men are to women? You don't even have to go far, you could start with yourself or just check out 99% of the internet.
Btw you should have stayed in that bar and watched those girls discreetly a while longer.
There are two things you would have seen.
1. Lots of men feeling entitled to interrupt their conversation, invade their space and try and get their attention and in their pants.
2. Lots of men being very rude, threatening and intimidating if they were not prostitutes as you say, and were rebuffed.
3. Those women feeling like their safety was at risk just because they were good looking and female.
Having a drink in a public place is too much to ask to allow a woman to do. She needs to stay in the house, like the Taliban suggest and only allow her husband to see/rape her OR/AND:
4. Those women leaving with their new boyfriend/client to the carpark/room.
Please enlighten us on how many times you've had to worry about whether you were about to be raped when you were sitting in a bar just having a quiet drink.
I don't imagine it's too often.
Men have two behaviours towards women.
1 - charming and civil while they are trying to seduce.
2 - hostile and threatening when they get rebuffed.
There isn't any in-between and the former is only a means to an end, not genuine, and women know it.
It was that they were something as simple as polite and civil. And not until I experienced it with these two did I notice the amazing lack of it on the part of American women.
It is a breath of fresh air. I await the funds to travel there and see if it is really them, or if it is the face they put on when they leave the homeland. I am suspecting the former. I suspect it will be easy to fall for someone like that.
Glad you published wanderling's post. It only goes to show what crap we have to deal with from American women. She shows their hatred of men, and their bigotry/xenophobia of women from other countries that are actually feminine.
Wanderling is a massive troll.
Also, I've been following this blog for years (in fact I think this is the first blog I ever "followed") but I'm getting mildly annoyed with the whole "American women are scum" attitude that's been becoming more prominent as of late. It's understandable to have preferences when it comes to women, but why is it that whenever the topic is broached at least one person feels the need to insult the female readership of this blog for being American?
The friendly, considerate, non-toxic, non-hateful personalities of non-feminist foreign women seems to endlessly piss off the skanks, sluts, and privileged princesses of this society (such as 'wanderling') to no end.
OTOH, the personalities and habits of the men 'wanderling' describes, sounds so very much like the personalities and habits of the 'Alpha' arseholes and the "exciting, romantic" 'bad boys' that those same Western Womyn love so much and can't get enough of...that is, until the time when they alight from (or are pushed off) the cock carousel.
Cappy, I am going to have to take this one:
"Why don't you open your eyes to how impolite, demeaning and uncivil men are to women? ...just check out 99% of the internet."
Clearly, you never heard of the Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/9a/Greater_Internet_Fuckwad_Theory.png
"Btw you should have stayed in that bar and watched those girls discreetly a while longer.
There are two things you would have seen.
1. Lots of men feeling entitled...
2. Lots of men being very rude..."
This is a lie. Most of the time *average* guys would take a look, sigh "they're out of my league," and drink and talk to buddies. Men are made to feel unworthy most of our lives, and would hesitate to go up to a beautiful woman. Domestic women shun us all the time, enforcing the belief we are worthless.
"3. Those women feeling like their safety was at risk..."
Have you ever been to Russia? Highest murder rate, second only to Brazil. Rape rate is low (3.4 per 100k vs. US 27.4. per 100k.) You know why it's low? Because the girls DON'T PUT THEMSELVES IN A POSITION TO BE RAPED. THEY PROTECT THEMSELVES by going out in a group, or avoiding bad spots to begin with. And rape is defined very precisely, unlike here, where regret the day after is counted as rape.
"4. Those women leaving with their new boyfriend/client to the carpark/room."
What sort of xenophobic bigot are you to assume every attractive foreign woman *must* be a whore?
Russian women tend to be engineers, doctors, and STEM types. They had their MD/PhDs by the age of 22, the age you vomiting in an alley after getting your degree in "women's studies," or something else worthless.
Unlike you, Russian women are in better shape, pleasant, and smarter where it counts Calculus and Dante make for interesting table talk.
"Please enlighten us on how many times you've had to worry about whether you were about to be raped when you were sitting in a bar just having a quiet drink.
I don't imagine it's too often."
How does one get raped in plain sight at a bar? There are armies of manginas and white knights ready to kill whoever you point to and claim "he's a rapist."
"Men have two behaviours towards women.
1 - charming and civil while they are trying to seduce.
2 - hostile and threatening when they get rebuffed.
There isn't any in-between and the former is only a means to an end, not genuine, and women know it."
Actually, there are several. Most common:
1 - Normal, pleasant, business interaction. Normal daily conversation.
2 - Indifferent, formal interaction, which may be terse, to keep conversation with those they don't like to a minimum, but are forced to have discussions with. The "keep it professional" interaction. (Such as I am now.)
3 - The intimate, close, loving interaction we reserve for our loved ones.
4 - Ignore
Anger in interaction is something we avoid.
With the anger you are projecting in your responses, you are getting butthurt (as the internet term goes for trolls like yourself,) because you aren't getting the interaction you want. You want interaction 3, but are getting 4 predominately, and 1 and 2 on limited basis.
You are having an apex fallacy problem. You aren't interacting with the 80% that are sitting quietly in the bar. You are having a problem with man-hating/misandry, as you appear to think all men are the problem, when you are only seeing the ones you want to see. You aren't seeing the larger number of us that are just doing our thing and ignoring you.
These two problems don't surprise me, though. Judging by your spelling and your sentence structure, you appear to be from the UK, AU, or one of the other former colonies of the UK. These regions are just as bad, if not worse, than the US in regards to their treatment of men.
This image complements your post perfectly:
http://www.feministezine.com/feminist/modern/images/Anti-Feminist-24.jpg
Sounds like two great girls. You are right that a lot of girls nowadays have a huge attitude (even though there are also still tons of sweet girls).
Tons of guys also have attitude though. So the openness and honesty of your approach/interaction probably also played a part in their down-to-earth-ness.
Or maybe Russian girls are just amazing. I'll go there some day to find out;)
Great blog by the way!
To those of us who are married to a Russian woman, your comments make perfect sense.
They are indeed like a breath of fresh air.
As someone who has dated and had relationships with both American women and Russian women, I can tell you that major differences exist between the two. Going on a date with a Russian woman feels like a date, while with so many American women over ageo 35-40 a date more closely resembles a job interview where you are applying for the coveted job of boyfriend. She will ask you a series of questions designed to see whether you meet her long checklist of "must-haves".
I attribute this partly to the advent of online dating. If the woman is ok-looking and not overweight she knows if you don't check all her boxes she can go online and pull up another few candidates who might.
This dynamic isn't found in Russia, with the possible exception of the youngest, most beautiful girls.
Post a Comment