In a land far far away
There was a bachelor named "Cappy."
He was on his motorcycle crossing the great and barren land of South Dakota in an attempt to make it to the rumored beautiful western side of this land. The great prophet said there would be mountains, streams, buffalo, cigars, and booze.
Much as Cappy the Bachelor wanted to get there, alas, there was not enough daylight to make the trip in one day, and so he set up camp in a little town along the road. Broke out his rations, checked the tension on the motorcycle chain, and managed to save $60 by not paying for a hotel.
In his tent he fell asleep and dreamed.
He dreamed of the mountains he would summit, the booze he would drink, the fossils he would find, and the fish he would catch. However, since the internet was not available in the middle of nowhere South Dakota, he also dreamed that when he finally made it to his destination, they would have internet access as well. And when he'd log onto the internet and check book sales for Boris the Buffalo and his Amazon affiliate account, that millions of people bought tons of books and tons of stuff so that he would never have to work again. And then, upon arriving in Rapid City, Jennifer Aniston would be there in an inebriated and poor-judgement state.