Why You Want to Be Like Mike Rowe

Mention "Sam Elliot" to pretty much any man in America and he will respond positively saying things like "Yeah, cowboy guy with mustache" or "the dude."

Mention "Sam Elliot" to your mother or perhaps even your grandmother and you will be shocked and surprised with the lewd and bawdy commentary that ensues (and you never thought your mother would say!).

Why?

Well, let me explain.

Sam Elliot, while an OK looking guy does not stand out to any man, and most men would not see why he stands out.  Truth be told, I STILL don't see why he stands out.  However my mother (not to mention a score of other elderly ladies) swoons, nearly passes out when you mention "Sam Elliot."  Was it because he was hotter when he was younger?

No, for as it turns out there is actually a lot more to Sam Elliot than meets the eye and a lesson we can all take from him.  So let us fast forward to people more our age.

Having the SAEG (TM) that I am gifted with and actually listening to the words coming out of my mother's mouth, I focused on when she kept saying he was "real" and he "was a man."  She dislikes George Clooney and dislikes Brad Pitt and kept harping on "the real man" aspect that her and her elderly female colleagues liked (nay, salivated over).

So my brain scanned its archives and came up with another guy who I though would fit the "real man" bill - Mike Rowe.

And I said, "So is Mike Rowe a hottie?"

My mother, not knowing who he was said, "Who's Mike Rowe?"

I said, "You know, Mike Rowe.  The guy who does 'The World's Dirtiest Jobs.'"

"No, don't know who you're talking about."

I said, "the guy who did the special 'How Booze Built America'"

"No, still don't know who you're talking about."

Then I said, "The guy who wears a cap and does the Ford truck commercials."

And you should have see her knees turn to jelly.

"Oh!  YES!  OH MY GOD!  HE IS EXACTLY WHAT I"M TALKING ABOUT!"

And so let us take a lesson as to why every young man should be aiming to be like Mike Rowe.

First, Mike Rowe is not a "cutie" or a "pretty boy Floyd." 

He is a man.  He has changed his own oil, done pretty much every other disgusting real-man-imaginable job via his TV show, probably has rebuilt an engine or two in his life, owns Stanley Tools, and is a guy who can get shit done.  George Clooney, pretty as he may be, only has experience in being...well...George Clooney and Rose Mary Clooney's nepotist.  Mike Rowe is a normal guy, who soared through the ranks of real life under his own steam, and is definitely the guy you want on your team in a post-apocalyptic world.  His face shows this and women see it.

Second, he is middle aged, BUT physically in shape.

Have you seen his physique?  He hides it under sweatshirts, but if you pay attention during the Ford commercials he is the last guy I would want to rumble with, even if the lord were to grant me an additional 4 inches in height and 30 pounds of muscle.  And this physique does not come from a personal trainer, it comes from regular ole work and toil.  Any man his age, whose life has forged his physique into that, is a man who has lived a real life and one that women want.

Finally, Mike Rowe is a normal guy, and therefore in most women's eyes he's attainable.  Sure, Hollywood and People Magazine go out of their way to brainwash women into thinking George Clooney is the sexiest man alive, and 100% of the women would jump at the chance to date George Clooney...

but you don't have billion dollar media empires putting your face on worthless magazines, do you?

You get to live in the real world.  And therefore you have to figure out who you should model yourself after given this real world you live in.  And fashioning yourself after a "normal guy" like Mike Rowe will lead to much better results than fashioning yourself after a guy like George Clooney, because the truth is you aren't a celebrity.  You are a normal guy.  And if George Clooney and Mike Rowe were walking down the street WITHOUT their celebrity status, women would choose Mike Rowe every single time.

So remember, and take it from my mom (and every other crass-talking woman in her cadre of foul-mouthed females), you don't want to be pretty boy Floyd.  You don't want to be Brad Pitt.  You want to be the tough, rugged, torn-jean, motorcycle-fixing, whiskey swillin', blue collar guy who can punch above his weight, but remembers to buy mom flowers on her birthday.