Monday, May 12, 2014

The Goddess That Broke the Captain's Heart

The jazz scene in the Twin Cities
The one black girl I dated
When your parents violate your right to self-determination
How bad could prison be if you had internet

and MORE

in this latest episode of The Clarey Podcast.


Anonymous said...

Prison is so awesome. It's just like highschool, except you have neutral refs (guards) for all the games, get to eat free junk food (honey buns omg), you can curse, workout, get wasted and fight as much as you want! Shit we even had rollerblades one time(A bunch of the boys from highschool got guard jobs in the early 2000s, place has been been sweet ever since - way better than juvie).

And the best part is, you rarely ever die and there are no women to nag at you. I got buddies who go to the joint just to get away from the wife for the weekend.

Anonymous said...

Rap is bad ?

I listen to Prokofiev's Battle On The Ice !!!

Prokofiev. Battle On The Ice. Look it up.

I'm going to war, Aaron.

Don T Tread said...

"Hedge against the fucking retards of America!" Best Miles Franklin commercial spot ever.

Anonymous said...

Dear Captain,

My Asswipe opinion is that this extremely classy lady doesn't date assholes. She is way too self-preservating of her sexual market value.

As I recall, and as you explained it yourself clearly when teaching how to approach girls on the dance floor, sexual market value is not only your physical and individual attributes, it's also the sexual market value of your groupies, followers and dates.

You went all alone asking her at once with no game plan of being surrounded by upbidding classy dates.

She wants to preserve her value at all cost and will turn down even an very interesting male if he is not classy enough, she will date only the classiest of the classiest as their gravitation around her helps preserve her own value.

She is not the type of girl that will go out with the tough underdog motorcycle guy unless he happens to be a well known rock star.

This girl is way too sophisticated.

If you want her, you can have her but you will have to develop a new set of talents that you haven't developped before. You will have to become top class.

And this girl will scrutinize your past like an avid HR department to make sure your history is top notch. I'm not sure your blog and videos will help.

This means that you will have to move your way up step by step towards her by dating classy girls gravitating around her.

This girl is all about ME ME ME. She will go out with you only if doing so will further enhance her sexual market value.

But you can be certain of one thing, your asking her and her rejecting you gave her a sense of satisfaction as it confirmed to her, in her mind, that she is superior to you.

Kristophr said...

Why are you even in the same state as your druggie relative?

Screw giving him a ride ... if he even touches your car, take a baseball bat to him.

Seriously ... an occasional beating will encourage him to stay away.