Saturday, December 31, 2005

The "Why" is Irrelevant...and Probably Stupid

OK, I'm putting an end to this.

Young aspiring male economist romanciers, I am going to educate you on a lesson that is arguably the most important lesson I ever figured out in courting the ladies. It is a lesson that is going to make your courting life a HELL of a lot easier. And I am being 100% totally serious when I say it is a VITAL lesson to learn for I have seen many a-aspiring male economist romanciers go through unneeded and undeserved pain and strife.

Read these comics in order;

OK so this has happened to all of us and recently happened to a friend of mine (which triggered this post). Not to say that we've all had a date go "Oh my God, Dawson Creek is on" and then split on the date. But we all have been in the situation where we;

1. Land a date
2. Get excited about the date
3. And then either the date bails on us at the last minute or is no longer interested after the first date.

The problem is what happens after the girl bails on us or rejects us.

Note how Slick (the kid in the comic) responds in the last strip. He's kicking a can saying, "If I only...If I just....Maybe if I...."

And there's the problem right there.

It is this instantaneous, knee-jerk reaction that when a girl bails on us, men immediately and by default look at ourselves and say,

"Gosh, what did I do. Maybe if I did this, or maybe if I did that. What did I say? How could I improve."

And I too was in your situation as a young 24 year old when a girl cancelled on me on the last minute. And whilst racking my brain and replaying the events in order to find out what it was that I did wrong that caused her to bail, it then suddenly dawned on me;


This revolutionary thinking totally changed the premise by actually admitting that maybe, maybe the problem wasn't the guy, but rather the girl. That maybe, it's just possible, that a man can play all of his cards right and the girl might be the one to fumble the ball.

Look at our young friend, Slick. How could an objective observer possibly blame Slick for the failure of the date?

So here's the rule gentlemen, it doesn't matter why the girl bails. The "why" is irrelevant. The only thing that matters is what "is." If the girl bails on you, don't rack your brain trying to find out why, you can't! The only thing you can do is accept what "is."

Furthermore, I want you to understand that the "why" is probably and most certainly stupid. The girl gets cold feet. The girl didn't want to go out with you in the first place, but just couldn't hurt your feelings. Dawson's Creek is on. Etc. Whatever the case, I can practically guarantee you that 100% of the time when a girl bails, cancels, etc., her reasoning is flawed and stupid. And that if you were to actually find out the "why" you would probably roll your eyes in disgust.

Alas, the whole benefit of this revelation is that you no longer have to piss away calories of energy, time, effort and thought trying to figure out why. You just accept and move on. Furthermore, there is the confidence that chances are it probably isn't you with the problem, and I am totally serious and I'll say it again, you will find out that, yeah, the VAST majority of the time it's not you, but the girl that has issues.

Of course, this whole theory is contingent on you playing your cards right and making sure you don't have a problem. And that means behaving in a manner or being a person that you are proud of. Being a gentleman. Being polite. Being somebody that you can look at and say, "If a girl turns this type of person down, then obviously she is the one that's ef'd up."

I personally aim my best to mimmick a WWII officer and gentleman. I mean, that's pretty safe. What possible rationale would a woman have to reject a WWII, 1940's, Cary Grantish gentleman? Thus, for me, when the girl can't make it because "her hair isn't dry" (I'm not kidding, I received this excuse MORE THAN ONCE IN 2005!!!!), I can sit back in confidence and say, "you know, I played that one pretty good. I was polite. I wasn't pushy. I was charismatic and funny on the phone. I was borderline Private Ryan with an element of Gregory Peck...this girl has issues."

So do yourselves a favor men, make a resolution for 2006. Resolve that you're not going to rack your brains over things that aren't your fault. Be a gentleman, be a good guy, be an upstanding dude. And if the ladies can't appreciate that, then we know whose fault that is.

Do You Hear That?

It's called "The Winds of Change."

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

It Ain't Worth it People

One of the first things I tried to instill in my economics students is this concept of being "finite."

You are going to die. You will end. You get one shot at this and thus;

Time is literally your only asset.

How you choose to spend your time is what will largely determine whether you lead a full and accomplished life...or whether you piss it away watching TV, saying no to dates. saying no to dances, rearing children, not trying new things or staying at home because you're too afraid to go out and live life.

But this is just an inexcusable and pathetic waste of a precious resource;

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Interesting Housing Charts

Happened upon these charts whilst looking to buy some property in the Black Hills area. Hard to find Price to Rents data in the more rural parts of South Dakota. Most of them come from Harvard's Joint Center for Housing Studies "State of Housing" Report. The report itself was superb until about half way through it they totally started taking this typical leftist, academian slant, tailoring the report to show how minorities are lagging behind their white counterparts, and woe is them, and oh if we only gave minorities more of a leg up, blah blah blah.

Regardless the charts are good, my favorite of which is at the bottom;

This one is scary as hell.

This doesn't make things look better.
This tells me that morons live on the coast...but if you looked at voting pattern chart of the US, it would tell you the same.

This just tells me there's a lot more people applying for HEL's and ARM's to finance their trailer home or mobile homes.
This tells me I should move my tiny white ass out of this bitch ass cold state and move to Atlanta and find me a southern belle.

Monday, December 26, 2005

Fat Chicks

So tis the holiday season and what gets me is the hypocrisy of the women at my office.

All Fall the top two topics of coversation were;

1. "Oh, My GOD! Did you see what happened on Desperate Housewives?"

2. Points.

Now, at first, when I heard the ladies talking about "Points" I thought there was this outside chance they were referring to the Band of Brothers episode when the troops were determining whether they had earned enough points to go home.

Of course, I was foolish to think that it was anything as historically high-brow or relevant as this.

For it turned out that the "points' they were talking about were Jenny Craig points.

Girl 1 - "Oh my God! did you know how many points are in a Chipolte fajita's shell? 14!"

Girl 2 - "NO!!!!"

Girl 1 - "Yeah!"

Girl 2 - "Like OMG, no way!"

Meanwhile, I'm reading an article about how China finances our current account deficit, thereby keeping interest rates artifically low, thus arguably inflating our property prices, and all I can think is

"somebody get me a muzzle."

Anyway, so the ladies of the office are all on some diet kick. Seems everybody is dieting. And truth be known, there are some ladies who aren't just flabbing their gums. Several ladies have lost significant wieght (one woman 75 pounds, another 35) and thus I tip my hat to them.

But for the remaining 46 of them and all their hyperbole about points and dieting and working out, I can't buy it, for it has happened now on several occasions where they'll talk about how they wish they were skinnier, how they are watching their "points" and how they're working out, and I KID YOU NOT within 30 seconds they're stuffing their face with all the holiday candy and junk food laying around.

Which reminded me of a fancy chart I saw;

Happy Holidays

Would Have Never Guessed

I will tirade later about the year 2005 in retrospect, but this was brought to my attention;

So when I bitch about Minneapolis being such a crap hole for courting, you know I'm not just complaining.

Friday, December 23, 2005

Oooo! Dat's Gotta Hurt!

OK, so Osama's niece is going to model and show a little skin. And frankly, I won't lie to you, yes, those western infidel men are going to look at her and drool over her, and I'll be the first in line.

That's just gotta piss him off...that's if he wasn't in some rock somewhere where the only communication he has is mule transported paper and he had access to modern day media.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Failed Economic Genius

So I was cleaning out my inbox when I happened upon this little e-mail I had sent to cute little number in an attempt to get some kisses from her.
Being the economist, I thought it wise to show you
just how important your kisses are to the global
economy, international trade and the fight against
poverty. For you see, you refusing to sell your
kisses on the international markets would be like the
following countries refusing to offer their
specialized wares/services;

Switzerland, chocolates
Japan, Cars
French, Cowardice
Idaho, Potatoes
Florida, Oranges
Hollywood, Movies
Mexico, Illegal Immigrants
Antarctica, Penguins
Taiwan, Electronics
Italy, Fashion
Chicago, Blues
Australia, Koala's
North Korea, Nuclear Arms
Iran, Terrorism
Saudi, Arabia Oil
Palestine, Suicide Bombers
London, Bad dental services
Germans, Beer
Ireland, drop dead gorgeous men, unrivalled kissing-training
Russia, Vodka
Chile, Wine

This lowers standards of living by requiring other
countries to produce all the goods and services they
wish to consume, regardless of how inefficient they
are at producing it.

Thus, as you can plainly see your kisses are vital to
the economy and advancement of society. I wish it
were different, but alas one of the key revelations
you have when studying economics is that your personal
desires have no bearing on the natural forces of the
market and economics. Sorry.

Here's a link to provide you with a basic tutorial in
Ricardian trade theory.

I just can't figure out how it failed!

Sunday, December 18, 2005

The Economics of Diamonds

Having trouble trying to find that special gift for that special woman in your life?

Somebody explain to me the economic rationale for diamonds? As far as my thinking takes me, it's basically just payment for prostitution. Am I wrong?

Friday, December 16, 2005

When You Meet Her

I fathom when I inevitably meet the legendary redheaded, lingerie wearing, video game playing babe economist it'll go something like this;

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

More Proof of a Politically Incorrect Theory

Hell, it's a law.

Leftists are just nowhere near as attractive as us Righties.

Hey, chicas, little less protesting and food stamps and a little more stair master.

Google is Overvalued, Period

So I've now had about 3 seperate people ask me about Google and what I think about Google.

Look, people, did we forget so quickly the lessons learned in 1999?

Right now at Google's share price of $420 it has a market cap of $82 billion. That is worth more than Dell Computers, Goldman Sachs, General Dynamic and Target.

It's a freaking web site people.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

What Did I Tell You About China

When a people wishes to work hard to avoid poverty, as opposed to sit on their ass and expect society to provide everything for them whilst they watch Dawson's Creek, WTF did you think was going to happen.

I'm going to brush up on my Mandarin.,2340,en_2825_293564_35834236_1_1_1_1,00.html

"SS" is an Appropriate Abbreviation for Social Security

And "Gestapo" or "Nazi" or "Cancer" would be an appropriate surname for AARP as far as I'm concerned.

Monday, December 12, 2005

How the OECD is like Hot Redheaded Economist Babes that Like to Play Halo

So another article in The Economist about how property markets are overvalued. They seem to have one every three issues. However, instead of quoting the regular ol' House Price to Rents or House Price to Income ratios, they took a report from the OECD which (adjusting for other factors) showed how over/underpriced housing was in different countries.

The report in the OECD was a little older and the above figures were updated by The Economist, so I went and looked for the original report.

Now if any of you know about data mining in the OECD you might as well look for a girl with a doctorate in economics who is a Microsoft Certified Halo Champion and dresses up in french maid outfits. Because these French geniuses who compile an amazing amount of economic data are idiots when it comes to organizing it or making it easy for normal people who land a date every once in a while to find it.

Thus, as with many of my trips to the OECD, it's like Best Buy;

No, they didn't have what I was specifically looking for, but I found some other stuff that I liked.

Particularly this report:

which has some good sh!t in it and particularly this chart that correlates home purchasing age with average increase in housing prices, suggesting the relationship between the proportion of a country's population that is of home buying age and housing prices.

Now, like Emril, you kick it up a notch and throw in a little dependency ratio action;

and the fact that the Baby Boomers (across Europe and the US) are going to retire, sell their homestead and secondary houses when they go into assistent living/nursing home, thus adding more supply to a housing market, and

BAAAM!(or whatever the hell he says)

I think, I THINK, it may just add some downward pressure on housing prices.

Monday, December 05, 2005

Friday, December 02, 2005

Teenage Suicide, Don't Do It

So only those of Generation X is going to get that one...because, like everybody knows "Teenage Suicide, Don't Do It" is the number one song on the air.

But for those of you a little older or younger, fret not, for it's not about the movie Heathers. But it is about suicide.

Not that I was in a particularly macabre mood, specifically looking for this data, but it just happened upon me; suicide rates by country.

Now what caught my eye is that the WHO ranked it by the MALE suicide rate, presumably because men commit the vast majority of suicides (you'll have to click on the chart to make it legible).
This alone is evidence to me that women drive men crazy, particularly in the former Soviet Union and socialist, developed European countries.

But curiosity got the best of me and so I re-ranked them based on the FEMALE suicide rate.

Somewhat of a correlation, Russian Federation and former Soveit Bloc countries there. As well as a good showing for the developed world in Europe.

And then curiosity got me again. If I really wanted to know which country the women were driven men the maddest, I should calculate the ratio of male suicides to female suicides, resulting in this;

Seems in Kuwait men and women drive each other equally mad while America's poor ranking further convinces me American women at the behest of Glamour Mag and Women's Studies Departments are the instigators in the majority of cases. But, good lord, stay the hell out of Belize gentlemen.

All this being said, suicide is a serious problem and it should not be made light of.

Dreadful etiquette. I apologize.

Confidence Over Fear

It's seems global growth is contributing more to the increase in industrial metals than fear of the dollar's future is contributing to the use of gold as a safe haven.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Perfect Example of Bias

OK, this article is the perfect example of bias and how the left let's its ideology form its truth instead of the truth forming its ideology.

First, you have this poll "commissioned by, a union-funded group"

Stop right there.

It's worthless. You needn't read any further.

It's like saying;

"A poll commissioned by Captain Capitalism to determine who is the world's sexiest man is found that 98% of the people found Captain Capitalism to be the world's sexiest man."


Here's a clue for all you people so concerned about choice and hate Wal-Mart;

THEN DON'T SHOP THERE!!!! You go pay inflated prices to support the Ma and Pa stores. The rest of us will enjoy a higher standard of living.

Third, those out there who THINK Wal-Mart is bad for America, are morons. You're talking auto-union IQ's here where they don't take the time to be intellectually honest and research the basic economic principals of purchasing power and trade. They're sheople just regurgitating the juice fed to them by their leftist overlords and just want to bitch and complain.

One of the best things to happen to the US economy to help raise standards of living for all people, especially the poor. An invention that is on par I'd say with the internet and the left just can't stand it and has to try to besmirch it.

I am finding it harder and harder to believe that the left is misled as much as it is evil.

Going Nuts

I just had to post this.