Friday, March 31, 2006

A Very Vichy Compromise

Let's Talk Unemployment

My stats on long term unemployment were questioned several times about whether they were standardized and thus I thought this would be a good time to address the issue of standardized unemployment rates.

Yes, different countries do measure their unemployment rates differently. This results in incomparable data and is why Japan has always had what was considered an absurdly low unemployment rate. However, institutions such as the BLS, OECD and ILO do standardize the rates, allowing us to compare them against one another.

On March 28th, the OECD came out with their OECD Factbook 2006, thus putting me in a quandry;

Do I hold true to my economic principles and promptly cancel my date with the impossibly gorgeous blond or

Go out with the blond knowing I have betrayed the Sacred Economic Order.

Regardless, in the Factbook they had standardized rates which would prove useful;

What was also interesting was that they broke down the unemployment rates for men and women. I thus subtracted the female unemployment rate from the male unemployment rate to see where the men were pulling more of their own weight.

It seems Greece and other central European countries have more of their men working than women. Ireland has more of their women working than their men. Alas, it seems this is more of a measure of which countries keep their women at home and not necessarily a reflection upon a stronger male work is also futher proof I want a Irish girl.

CNN is for Lefties

If you need any more proof that CNN and its viewers are to the left, you need look no further.

Nor do you need too look further for proof that Americans are just as stupid in their grossly negligent understanding of economics.

Oh, and we will pay for our ignorance.


Helen Thomas,


Fat, ugly, old, pissed off socialist chicks are always fun to make fun of.

No Broadcast This Weekend

Just a reminder, there will NOT be a broadcast this Saturday. They will be broadcasting "Bear Facts and Fishtails" LIVE from the sports center!!!

Tune in next week when I talk about whatever the heck I decide to talk about next week.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Free Labor Markets = More Jobs


Which country stands out the most...


Oh, that's right. The only capitalist one.

God I love The Economist.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

The Captain Takes a Vacation

Greetings fellow Aspiring and Junior Deputy Economists!

As you may have noticed (and some of you pointed out/e-mailed me/asked me about) postings are rather curt and focusing a bit more on the charts and a little bit less on analysis. While the gist of Captain Capitalism is to provide you with the empirical evidence you need to wage your own battle against the forces of socialism unfortunately I have been blessed with an ungodly and an incomprehensible amount of luck and success. Revenues for my dance classes and seminars have broken all records, online classes had record enrollments, prospective clients on the horizon and not to mention the radio gig.

All those things considered, I was still able to provide you with the latest and greatest in economic data and statistics. However, this most recent slump you may have noticed is not due to tax season (although that is a factor) but an absolutely freaking hot gorgeous blond that I has captured my attention over the past week.

I could literally write pages about the girl, but you will of course forgive me for taking a wee bit of a sabbatical.

Besides, the never ending battle against the forces of socialism must occasionally yield to the occasional flirtatious skirmish with the local smoking hot blond insurgents. And if I don't deal with them, who will?

Monday, March 27, 2006

Hell, "I" Don't Understand What's Going On

Poor kid.

I'm 31 and I'm still having a hard time figuring out "what's going on."

And before this, I thought I had a tough time trying to figure out the opposite sex.

The kids of the next generation are going to be soooo effed up, it should be no surprise that we'll stop reproducing all together and America will just become another Islamist country because of immigration and demographics.

Well, you good little suburbanites keep breeding. Will need somebody to stave off the inevitable collapse of this country so I can enjoy a peaceful retirement.

More Reasons to Hate France

With France imminently approaching national strikes, I just wanted to refresh our memories about long term unemployment.

Long term unemployment is the percent of total people unemployed for more than 1 year.

In France 42% of those who are unemployed have been unemployed for over 12 months.

The reason why this is important is because long term unemployment is an excellent proxy for the laziness of a people.

In the US we're only at 13%

Norway is at 9%.

Perhaps oil is not the only reason for Norway's economic success.

The US Federal Budget - Don't Leave Home Without It!

The Federal Budget is a handy thing to have on you whenst debating the mentally-impaired forces of the left. For, after all, their entire chorus consists of repeating that we don't spend enough money on (fill in socialist cause here)________________.

Well, be able to immediately counter your leftist friends with hard core facts and data when you have the 2006 US Federal Budget!

Why I Don't Trust Finance Professionals

As far as I'm concerned the most corrupt industry in the world is not the former Suharto regime in Indonesia.

Nor is it the upper echelons of the communist part in China.

Nor is it the nepotistic blue bloods of the Kerry's, Bush's, Kennedy's and Clinton's.

No, it's the entire finance industry in the US.

I'm amazed at times that our corruption index put out by Transparency International isn't lower simply because of the constant sleeze and scum that this industry seems to attract;

This is only the latest to raise my ire.

Friday, March 24, 2006

Broadcasting Again

Just a reminder you too can tune into The Economics Supper club

This Saturday

1-3PM Central Standard Time

Here's the site you can listen from online

Will be talking about who is winning, the left or the right. Will get into Ricardian trade theory and why economists should not dress themselves. And if we have time, we'll talk about how fat chicks get hosed and hot babes get off scott-free.

I'll post the relevant data so you can follow online (hopefully if I have the time)

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Why Would Business Set Up Shop in France?

Seriously, who the hell is going to hire these people?

If I want something done in Europe I'll go to the former Soviet Bloc where they're not spoiled brat children.

There's No Justice

This girl is getting 4 - 20 years in jail for sleeping with her students;

This one just got off scott-free.

This is why I naturally do not trust knock out babes. They are SO shielded from the real world that they literally have the minds of little children.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Savings Rates? I Got Your Saving Rates Right Here!

Genius, does not strike when you think it should. Genius will strike you when it god damned well pleases.

And genius is finicky.

For example, genius is not going to strike just any ol' dumb person. You more often than not have to be smart. Furthermore, genius is not going to strike people who are anticipating it. For example, your token liberals when they meditate, practice tai-chi, hold candle-light vigils or practice yoga. Oh yeah, like genius doesn't see through that farce.

These are idiots who are just begging for genius to strike them for just once in their lives. Sadly they all majored in sociology and feelings, and thus genius will never strike for they think "it will just come to me, huwaaaa huwaaaaa!!!!!!"

No, genius is much more meticulous than that.

Or at least it was last night. For if you were to have been with genius last night you would have been floating around up in the air over the South Western suburbs of Minneapolis. And at 1Am you could have had your pick of probably over 500,000 people, all awake, some of which certainly deserving of being struck.

But instead, you would have looked down onto highway 62, spotted a smart little convertible heading west and in that convertible would have been a very tired, and physically exhausted man making his way back to his nice humble home in the city. So tired that he would be the last person in the world that you'd judge to be receptive to genius.

But what they hey, strike him anyway.


So there I was, tired as hell, blasting Revco just to stay awake to make it back to my nice warm bed. I was in a suit and was so tired that I fully planned on sleeping in it. Furthermore I remembered I had done laundry and my highly economic and efficient laundry process is to pile all my clean clothes on my bed and put the dirty clothes on the floor. I'd have to burrow underneath the clothes.

Then it hit me. I wasn't thinking about it. I wasn't pondering anything related to it. But it just popped into my head;

"Hey, why don't we make extra principal payments on debt tax deductible? That would not only serve as a sort of tax cut, but would strengthen the country's fiscal position, and help to increase many people's credit rating. It'd also serve to keep most interest rates, short and long term low, thus attracting investment."

Again, genius strikes when it god damned well pleases.

So for the remainder of the trip back home I was contemplating all the benefits that might bring about.

1. It would serve to boost the dismally low savings rate we Americans have.

2. The aforementioned benefit of strengthening our financial position.
3. The aforementioned benefit of lower interest rates and the economic growth/investment that would follow.
4. It would lower the currently record high household and consumer debt levels we have.

5. It would put us in a supremely better position to handle the raping...err...I mean...wealth distribution...uh...umm...what I meant to say was fleecing...uh, no, that wasn't it either...oh I meant crisis...uh, no, shoot, Democrats say there's no crisis, ergo there must be none...hmmm...that "social security thing" everybody keeps talking about.

All these benefits and more just for being wise enough to incentive people to adhere to fiscal austerity. Pure genius!

It was such a good idea that I promised myself, first thing in the morning I'd tell my senator so that he'd realize the merits of this and submit a bill right away.

But I forgot that "genius is finicky." And genius "is not going to strike just any ol' dumb person."

Alas, it seems such genius would be lost on all of congress.

Well, it was good idea anyway.

Some Housing Stats

So I hear "record levels of housing inventories" in several articles, but do they make charts?

Hell, no. That would make my job easier.

Then again, if you go to the Department of Commerce's web page and look up the raw data they make it insanely difficult to graph and chart.

But, oh, little did those bastards expect me. I was able to rearrange the data and come up with some nifty ones.

First total houses for sale.

Of course, this does not account for population growth or the size of our economy, so I calculated two additional charts;

Houses for sale as a percent of total housing units
and vacant housing as a percent of all housing units.

Both at all time record highs.

A buyers market it will become.

I Love North Korea

Oh, how the feminists must be confused about this one. Do you support the ideology of communism, even though they do not support women abortion rights?

Knowing feminists, they'll go for the money.

Knowing leftists in general, they'll always abandon their pursuit of "social rights" for the money.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

What the Hell is Up with My Ads?

Hey, is anybody else out there getting only Google's ad for "Picasa" picture thingy?

I keep reloading the site and it's like it's the only thing being advertised out there.

Why Housing is the Sword of Damocles

Since the US is not a socialist economy...yet anyway...the majority of our economic growth comes from the private sector. And as our economy has evolved from an agrarian one to an industrial one to a service one, a larger and larger percentage of our economic growth hails from the service sector.

This and the fact unions have priced themselves out of competition doesn't help manufacturing either.

Regardless, if you look at where the majority of us spend our money domestically the majority of it is spent on services. Oh, sure, we buy X-Box's and PS2's, but those are manufactured overseas. Thus it should be no surprise that a vast majority of our economic growth is due to services.

Of course, what is the main engine driving this spending on these luxurious services?

"Precarious" is a word that comes to mind.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Health Care Expenditures as % of GDP

If I hear one more effing socialist say we don't spend enough on health care I will give them reason to wish the government would spend more on their health care personally.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Ricardian Trade Theorem Applied to Fashion

Presumably I am "cool" now. And the reason I am "cool" now is because I have this shirt that;

1. Should NEVER be tucked in
2. Has cuffs that should NEVER be buttoned
3. Has buttons that the top two should ALWAYS be left open.

I am also cool in that now I have jeans that look like somebody urinated on them and dragged them through dirt.

I am even cooler because I have new cologne that I didn't pick out and is to replace my Polo cologne that I've had since 1992.

And to top the newfound coolness with even more coolness, 90% of my hair has been chopped off for the short spikey, fresh out of the shower hair look.

So long Captain Jack Sparrow look.

Now, to most normal people I would look like a moron. And I do. I now look like all these 23 year old kids running around the ChaChi bars in the Twin Cities. And I concur, when I look at myself in the mirror, I say, "cripes, I look like a moron."


For it doesn't matter what I think of my new fashion.

Oh no.

All that matters is what girls think of my fashion.

You see, the Captain Capitalism Cadre of Friends (it's like Super Friends, but all guys) held a conferenza last night. And the conferenza was about changing the current strategy so that we may;

1. Quit running into so many damn religious chicks
2. Find future Babes of Capitalism
3. Do so with spending less time and money on it as now, seemingly, God has smiled upon us and all of our careers have just skyrocketed through the roof and we have not the time to be chasing futile targets.

And one thing we more or less all universally agreed upon was that we needed to change our style and clothes and image.

Of course, being a bunch of economist, mortgage, banker types sitting around a board room desk in DT Minneapolis on a Saturday night conducting a conferenza, fashion is not exactly our thing. Oh sure, we have suits, but outside that we have no cool clothes. We have dated hair cuts. And I seriously do have Polo cologne from 1992. I am looking at it right now.

We have no freaking clue what is in or hip.

But I do have a clue about the merits of Ricardian Trade Theory.

For yes, we in the Captain Capitalism Cadre of Friends may be clueless about image and fashion, but we are smart enough to outsource that decision to people who aren't.

And how could this cunning plan possibly fail?

We pay the Swiss to make our chocolates.
We pay the Japanese to make our cars.
We pay the Chinese to make our electronics.
And we pay the Irish to make our whiskey.

Why not pay somebody who isn't an economist to make our fashion decisions for us?

Thus, today, two fashionably savvy girls at my office were kind enough to take the raw and hopeless material of a banker, a mortgage guy and an economist and transform them into new and refined products of pure and total hotness.

However, whilst my cadre o' friends were hesitant to spend the money on clothes that were seemingly putrid and haircuts that literally came out of a book, I threw caution to the wind and COMPLETELY outsourced all decisions to the women.

The assistant/sales person helping us at the clothing store with the BOOMCHICABOOM music would come up and ask me what I thought about the shirt I had just put on and I would say, "Ask them what they think."

The salonist asked me what hair cut I was looking for. And I said, "Ask them what I'm looking for."

And when the perfume sniper at the anchor store asked me "What cologne do you like?" I said, "Ask them what I like."

So by the time the day was over, I had some new duds, practically no hair, new stench and a shirt that is so tight that I have a hard time scratching my back.

Thinking that all I did was waste about $300, or 1/2 the annual earnings of a Sudanese, on pure fluff, and recalling the last time I followed the advice from women, it resulted in utter chaos, I was not expecting any results.

Yet, all of 5 hours later, I just met a girl pursuing a degree in finance who would like to go dancing. And, I am being completely serious here, every 20 something girl I have ran into today is responding more positively, where they are actually smiling at me, borderline, dare I say, checking me out? Perhaps even flirting with me?

Alas, perhaps all economists should outsource image management.

Dutch Schultz and My Newfound Appreciation for Wikipedia

If you have the time during lunch this is fascinating. And when people usually say that, you say, "yeah sure, right."

Like when your mom forwards you e-mails that you MUST READ and they're pictures of cute cats or something.

But, no, seriously, it's just that freaking cool;

"You can play jacks, and girls do that with a soft ball and do tricks with it.

Oh, Oh, dog Biscuit, and when he is happy he doesn't get snappy"

Yeah, as if.

Friday, March 17, 2006

I'm Amazed We Won WWII


Dear Fellow Aspiring Economists!

Good news. I have been given a permanent radio show gig at AM 1500 in Minneapolis.

Was actually given the gig a couple weeks back, but didn't mention it here because I was contemplating whether I'd want to keep the show and blog seperate entities.

However, I started getting calls from San Francisco and other far flung places whilst broadcasting and it occurred to me that while Minneapolis is a big town, this blog has attracted some of the smarter/more-economically educated people from across the planet which would cause for a more interesting and engaging show.

That and it throws off the radio show folk how I get calls from 2,000 miles away.

Anyway, the show is called "The Economics Supper Club" it broadcasts;


You can go to this web site to get the streamlining/webbroadcasting thing they got going on;

The long distance number is 1-877-615-1500

Feel free to listen and call in!

Yea, We're Rich in Minnesota, Donchyaknow

Thought this might amuse some of you.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Early Bird I Pod Morons

I'm no technological genius, but I knew enough that when the first I Pod came out and all the chachi preppy suburbanite kids wanted to buy this white brick that stored 5 songs for $300, it would be wise to wait just a bit. For memory has a tendency to drop rather quickly. And if I just waited 5 years I could get a phone/memory stick/MP3/WMV/nuclear missile launcher/lightsaber/player for 30 cents as the price of memory came down.

Well, the light saber option hasn't been added yet, so I broke down and dropped $30 on my first I-Pod clone. Holds 40 songs. The merits of being patient and frugal.

I Told You So

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

YOU BASTARDS!!!,2933,187945,00.html

Cripes, now I gotta go and wait in line for a 360.

The official economist lingo for this is "this effing blows."

Of Course!

And we're to blame for the tsunami, and Africa's horrible situation and the middle east and AIDS and everything else.

Amazing how when leftist policies don't work that the left resorts to more and more conspiratorial explanations why their lives suck.


Bad Credit Analysis

This chart was interesting. How many years various Latin American countries have been in default in the past 180 years. Now, you'd think, 10, maybe 20. Oh no, try like 80-100 freaking years.

Why would any sane rational person loan money to anybody south of Texas and north of the South Pole? Is it any wonder that Argentina defaulted on $132 billion? Is it any wonder why most Hispanic countries have a fraction of the income per capita that Americans do?

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

There's Some Irony for Ya!

I know things aren't going swell there, but I like the fact they have flat panel TV's in this horrid war.

Give It Away, Give It Away, Give It Away Now!

"Private giving to poor countries" is like giving money to my alcoholic, heroin addicted, felonious brother. It is largely pissed away.

Don't believe me? Well, just look at how much $600 billion in aid has helped Africa. And wow, that Live 8 crap sure did wonders didn't it? I mean, not one life has been improved, but we made a bunch of preppy spoiled brat suburbanites across the western world feel good about themselves!

Thus, whilst those on the left complain that the US does not give enough money as a percent of its GDP I'd like to point out two things with the following chart;

1. We give more private money than most of those in Europe who do the majority of the bitching.

2. The smartest people in this chart as far as I'm concerned are the Italians who know their money will be wasted and the most guilt tripped are the Norwegians who are stupid enough to piss away their money.

I'd also like to point out that it isn't always "poor countries" that need be the recipients of money to make it charitable. How interesting the left failed to pick up this data and parade it around;

Wherever There's a Problem...

You'll find a socialist.

God I hate you people. Of all the well-intentioned people out there that have managed to impoverish if not kill millions, cripes. And this guy is developing a nuclear bomb.

My favorite is how when economies tank because of the leftist policies implemented by these freaks it is blamed on the "capitalist imperialist west."


Sunday, March 12, 2006

Wafah Watch 4!

So my future wife and personal-server-of-martini's has made it in the news again.

Unfortunately she will be hosting a reality TV show, which has now just more or less made her the intellectual equivalent of the typical American girl.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006


A democrat female with more balls than anybody I've seen except the Israelis saying they'll stop Iran if the UN won't.

She just made herself a viable candidate for the presidency.

Monday, March 06, 2006

The Burden of the Old

I just can't wait to see what happens when the baby boomers hit their 70's.

My Apologies

I was hellishly busy this weekend. Tax season and all, plus I started a radio show.

Here's something I've been meaning to get to. Martin Andrade.

Has some great charts here;

They should show up, if not go to his web site and check them out.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Costs of the War on Terror

For all of you on the left, please do yourself a favor, and shut the ef up.