#1. It's a lengthy article.
#2. I DID NOT WRITE THE ARTICLE. A woman did. So don't go biting my head off.
#3. Notice the economic themes of things like "opportunity cost" and people pricing themselves out of the market.
#4. The question I tender to all of you, does an American man today have any option but to be a man child?
You may read it here.
7 comments:
I swear, moral equivalency is going to kill our entire culture if we don't learn to just grow up!
It's just about the stupidest, most childish excuse in the book to say, "I'm going to be a complete ass, because hey, everyone else is too!" Yeah, well, just like your mother would say, "if everyone else was jumping off a bridge, would you jump off too?"
I read about half of that article before I decided I just couldn't take it anymore. Not that I have any qualms about what she was saying about women - yes, unfortunately, much of it is true. I've said for a very long time that feminism was hijacked in the 60s. It was completely transformed from a message about true gender equality, into nothing but a male-bashing, hedonistic, idiotic attempt to give women special preference. It's stupid, it's wrong, and a lot of us women realize that. There are a lot of us out here who realize that men have gotten a raw deal for a very long time now. And yeah, it sucks! It really sucks. It sucks what women have turned into it, it sucks what feminism and "girl power" have done to the self esteem of our boys.
But you know what? If I followed your logic, I could just say, to hell with it! If all the other women out there are being absolute egotistical amoral bitches, why shouldn't I behave that way too? Why shouldn't I treat men like dirt, because hey, they expect it, right?
That's what your logic would say to me, but no, I don't have to behave that way. Why? Because I don't believe in moral equivalence. I can look at the bad behavior of my female counterparts, realize how much it sucks, realize how much damage it does to men, to relationships, to society as a whole; I can look at all of that and say no. That's the mature, reasonable thing to do, don't you think? Look at the mistakes of others, learn from them, and make a concerted effort not to repeat those same mistakes.
Your reasoning is basically excusing your own bad behavior because you see it in others. Sorry, but it sounds to me like you're just desperately seeking an excuse. Period. If you truly wanted to do the noble thing, you could look at the mistakes made by those around you - male and female - and use those examples to grow. Or are you really so weak that you need to use moral equivalence as a crutch?
I'm sorry, I know dating sucks. I know there are far too many witches out there. But you know what? Not every woman behaves that way. Just like I know that not every man is a bastard. Video games are fine, no problem with that. But constantly blaming all your problems on women? Sorry, that's a crutch if I ever saw one. The sooner you get rid of that crutch, the sooner you might just attract a woman who isn't a complete asshat.
I think you mistook what I said about being a man child. Being a man child does not mean you treat women poorly It means you give up. You just go home with your toys and play in the sandbox with the boys, or the modern day equivalent of firing up the X-Box.
And maybe I can clarify something a bit. It's not a crutch. It's not that men "choose" to "stick it to those girls" by "showing them" by not dating them. They choose to do so because it is the best course of action. It is an economic decision. I would go so cold and emotionlessly far to say it isn't even a choice. It's your only course of action.
WWJWD?
What Would John Wayne Do?
Exactly. Meg's completely off-base. Nobody choses to give up on dating because "everyone else is doing it" - we do it because it's the only course of action which makes sense. What the hell does that have to do with "moral equivalence"? Do you even know what that phrase means, Meg?
Captain,
I read an article some years ago about "wimps and barbarians."
http://www.claremont.org/publications/crb/id.1192/article_detail.asp
I see similar threads in the article to which you linked.
Society has told us "women must be treated as equals." Okay, fine. Now, they don't like it, and our society suffers.
That's one of the reasons I liked dancing so much. There was 3-ish minutes where the old rules still applied, where a man had to be manly, while a woman had to be feminine.
I will say, that despite turning away from society and doing the things I enjoyed doing (fly fishing, DnD, painting miniatures, and dance), I found a woman who valued the same things in life I did. She had been on the receiving end of some of the things described in the article, and knew I wasn't like the "jerks."
So, even as most women price themselves out of the market, there are a few who stay frugal, save their pennies, and earn their way into a rewarding relationship.
Sadly, many women won't, and will be convinced by our Oprah culture that it's something the guy is doing wrong.
My wife and I sit back and laugh. She'll knit, and I'll paint miniatures.
Meg-
I sympathize with you, and yes, hope springs eternal, but I have to agree with the article, even though I do not agree with the idea that men should act as horrifically as the women.
The women who are interested in guys like me now never wanted us when they had youth, beauty, optimism, and vitality. Now that they are tired, losing their physical appeal, and burdened with children, suddenly I look very good. Nice guy syndrome.
To late, ladies, you had your chance.
They have squandered their enthusiasm and sexual energy on bad boys, and now want to present me with the weather-beaten wreckage of their dating psyche. And an extra 75 pounds that I am supposed to overlook and still find them physically appealing.
In a way it really does make me a bit sad - honest!
But, the fickle and childish hearts of these women are going to end up broken someday, and they will have only themselves to blame.
The fun they had tramping around at 25 will be forgotten during their lonely 40s and 50s.
A friendly reminder that we will all treat Megan nice and with respect as she is a genuine woman and not the type that would have brought his hell upon herself. And though I may disagree with her idealism we will not insult it either.
Having said that caveat, perhaps the best way to describe it is this;
The basic fundamentals, the basic laws and principles on which human attraction and courtship have been based, have been violated in that I think arguably for the first time, there is a progressively larger and larger percentage of the male population that no longer cares to pursue romantic or sexual interests. Be it because the proposition of chasing women in today's world is no longer appealing or that the alternatives of X-Box 360, cigars, cars, riches and never being poor due to too many "capitas" in "income per capita," are all that much more attractive, the basic rules of the game have changed with no real emotion or passion or desire having anything to do with it.
Men simply quit or are quitting in greater numbers. It's, again cold as this may sound, an economic decision.
The ramifications of this for conventional American courtship are quite earth shaking in that it more or less obsoletes it. If one of the sexes no longer cares to pursue the other, then the game is literally over. No more bar scene. No more marriage. No more children. No more divorce. None of it.
This is even more earth shaking when you think of the sociological/demographic ramifications. Declining birth rates is just one bit of evidence I think that eludes to this. Divorce rates would be another. But the consequences I would contend reach as far as the ultimate end of a generation/nation/culture/society as we know it. America will cease to exist in it's previous Cary Grant/John Wayne/Clint Eastwood form and turn into something we haven't seen yet.
So for all the Megans and romantics out there, you have to understand, this isn't a choice, let alone anything anybody particularly likes. It's just what it is and people are responding to it. And not until the environment changes do I see a stop of the flood of men out of the market and back into traditional roles of father/husband, provider/bread winner.
The economics of it just isn't there.
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