Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Check Your Nuts

Before I hear complaints, let me just quote one thing:

"Save the Boobies!"

Remember that Breast Cancer awareness campaign?

Good, now shut up and don't give me complaints about the crassness about this new testicular cancer campaign I just concocted up.

I was running, listening to Bill Burr's podcast on Lance Armstrong.  As you know, Lance had testicular cancer and was cured of it. There has since been a movement akin to the pink ribbon campaign to help prevent testicular cancer.  There was Movember I believe, but honestly, men are not going to respond to something like that.  We don't need a large, glitzy, "testicular cancer month" kind of BS to prevent testicular cancer.  We want something practical.  Something simple.  Something that doesn't force the rest of the world to wear a color nobody likes.  And somehting akin to punching a guy in his shoulder saying, "hey dumbass, go get checked and look out for cancer."

So let me introduce to you the "Check Your Nuts" campaign.

It's simple.

Testicular cancer is easily preventable, all we (men) need to do is "check our nuts" once in a while.  My doc recommended fidgeting with the boys once a month in the shower to make sure there are no bumps or irregularities.  But the problem is how often do you remember to fidget with your nuts?

Oh sure, we scratch our balls every morning, peel them off the side of our leg after playing sweaty sports.  But we don't "survey" them.

Therefore, it is an issue of remembering to do so and I think if we here in The Manosphere occasionally sign off one of our posts with "check your nuts" or sign off an e-mail with "check your nuts" it will get more and more men to check their nuts on a regular basis, thereby preventing cancer.

Therefore, not only should you guys "enjoy the decline" you should also

"check your nuts!"

This has been a PSA from Captain Capitalism.


The Conservative Sociologist said...

When my dad was going through chemo for leukemia a couple years back, he often got annoyed and said: "Why is everything always about breast cancer? Are the other types of cancer just not as important or dangerous?"

I've also heard rumors that the campaign or charity (whatever it is) also doesn't allocate most of the profits to research or other initiatives- that most of the money is pocketed by the chairpeople. It could be true, but I'm not certain.

Herr Wilson said...

Check your nuts...yet another way to enjoy the decline and stay healthy.

Beth said...

Would not surprise me in the slightest. The largest BC charity I know of refused to accept my teenage cousin's donation "because it wasn't big enough and she should just give it some other local charity".

Suzanne McCarley said...

Good on you.

I donate to Kilted to Kick Cancer every September.

A guy in a kilt is bound to attract attention, opening the door for a "Check Your Nuts" conversation.

The primary difference between a kilt and a skirt, btw is what you wear (or don't wear) underneath! ;)

Anonymous said...

"In or out, check it all out" Prostate and Testicular combined. I had prostate cancer, and was only discovered by the PSA test of which the "girls" in government are recommending we don't need. Bull Shit!

Will Brown said...

You could also encourage the Manosphere to participate in this annual event. Every September 'cause it is a well ventilated kilt after all, so November would be right out.

sth_txs said...

I've always wondered about this to.

Maybe a flesh colored ribbon with a penis tip on one or both sides with a nut sack in the middle?

kyran said...

I can just see Trimble coming out with a bunch of ball-surveying Total Stations.

Reluctant Paladin said...

This and Prostate Cancer are major concerns. As a healthcare employee I often have to see the devastating effects of prostate cancer.

If you're a 50 year old man you should have a digital rectal exam ANNUALLY. Its always better to detect cancers early.

Men ages 15-40 should 'check their nuts' (give themselves a testicular self examination)once a month. Be sure to examine your testicles just after getting out of the shower. Feel them all over for any sort of lumps, bumps, growths, or changes from the previous examination.

If you have any other questions you should see a doctor or other healthcare professional that can personally discuss these and other health examinations with you.

Take care of yourself out there. Noone else is going to.