Friday, July 04, 2014

Auctioning Off My Ex's Tits

Greetings all,

A long time ago, when Cappy was in his gallivanting, bachelorhood years, one of the many girls he dated fancied herself an "artist."  So much so she plastered her naked front with pink paint and then pressed it on a black canvas, giving it to the young Captain as a gift.



It was fine when I had my bachelor pad in Wyoming, but since I've moved back it's been sitting tucked away in a closet for two years (that and my girlfriend would kind of frown upon it being hung up somewhere).

Anyway, I've decided to auction it off to get rid of it, the proceeds of which will be donated to my favorite charity - me.  I will then take said proceeds and put it all on red at a roulette table.

Bidding will start at $1.
Bidding will close at the end of the month.
Make your bids in the comment section below.
I will announce the winner at the end of the month.
Payment will then be made to my paypal account.
Shipping costs will be paid by me. 
No, I will not put it on E-Bay so don't say, "Dude, you should put that on E-bay"

Forward to anybody who might be interested.

Sincerely,

Cappy

43 comments:

Don T Tread said...

I'm kind of creeped out. It looks like some kind of one-eyed, pink mickey mouse monster.

RobertW said...

Dude - you should put that on E- ... oh hell.

Anonymous said...

I suspect the final price for this POS will not allow you to break even on shipping.

Peter Jones said...

Well, she was a keeper.

Peter Jones said...

Well, she was a keeper.

Dance...dance to the radio said...

Just throw it out, buddy.
It's not worth anything.

Adam Lawson said...

$1, to be put toward a good cigar.

(I'll bid $2 if instead of sending it to me you'll send it to that woman who was stalking Matt Forney a few months ago.)

Anonymous said...

I bid 50 Cents.

Marty said...

Eh... I need something for my garage, I'll put a fiver down.

badventist said...

$1

Atham Aldecua said...

I give you 3 dollars!!!

Southern Man said...

Well, just to start the ball rolling: I'd buy that for a dollar!

MaMu1977 said...

I'll bid $3.50

Now, I just need to find someone who will let me borrow (or, perhaps give me) $3.50...

Captain Capitalism said...

The highest bid stands at $5. Do I hear $6? $6 dollars!?

Atham Aldecua said...

7.50 USD!

hamsteak said...

$10.00 USD

Sean Carnegie said...

A round of Guinness for you and Aurini next time you're in Calgary.

Or is cash the only currency here?

Adam Lawson said...

$7.51 -- just to be a prick.

Captain Capitalism said...

$10 ladies and gentlemen, $10.

Do I hear $12, $12 US American Dollars?

Atham Aldecua said...

12.02 usd

Adam Lawson said...

Aaron,

How much is it going to cost you to ship it?

Anonymous said...

Accept Canadian Tire money?

GaryinWpg

Anonymous said...

The centered nipple imprint is interesting. Smithsonian Museum of Anatomy could send you a tote bag, Cappy.

JBly said...

$20 USD, my roommate's birthday is coming up and he hasn't seen a good pair of tits in a while.

Anonymous said...

I hope no one from Australia wins it. You guys don't do surface mail down here anymore. Will cost you a fortune in shipping. Volumetric calculations indeed, the rat bastards.

Atham Aldecua said...

23.01 USD

Atham Aldecua said...

23.01 USD

JBly said...

$30 USD

John Johnson said...

$35

Luaderdale said...

I'll throw 40 'Merica dollars on it.

Other Capt. said...

$42

Lauderdale said...

45 'Merican dollars then!

John Johnson said...

Barney's Bid is essentially $45

$55 for the consultation (rates on your Asshole Consulting page) and $45 for this masterpiece

Im bidding $55 just for the "painting". No consultation.

Captain Capitalism said...

$55 is the current bid.

JBly said...

$75 USD

JBly said...

Not sure if my post made it. $75 USD

Atham Aldecua said...

59.69 bucks!

Lauderdale said...

60 for the art cappy

B said...

$56

B said...

$56

Anonymous said...

next time have a cam girl auction it off & then you'll have $400 + $55.

BSM said...

56

Captain Capitalism said...

JBly is the winner at $75!