I've been kicking around a theory, one of which I've ran past Roosh and some other philosophers and theoreticians.
Do men have a finite amount of fuel/energy?
Fuel and energy for what, you ask.
Fuel and energy for pursuing women.
It seems a stupid question on the face of it, but when you think it through a couple more layers you start to see it's importance and ramifications. Most of "sexual market value theory" is based on the relative worth of an individual where young women in their 20 something prime command the highest premium while men age more slowly, but surely into their 40 something primes. This is the biologically "separation of powers" that nature has programmed into the human species to ensure not only its survival, but that no one sex gains the upper hand over the other. But the entirety of this "model" (completely true as it is) is one-sided in its focus.
It only focuses on demand for the respective sex.
It never considers supply.
And supply is the topic I'd like to address today.
I took an informal survey a while ago asking men what percentage of their free time they dedicated towards the pursuit of women. And like I surmised, the results showed a high percentage during their late teens and early twenties, only to dwindle to near nothingness in by the time they reached their 50's. Matter of fact most men in their 50's had more interest in reading books than going out and finding favor with the opposite sex.
This not only supplements the theory that men have a more long term advantage over women, aging like scotch while women age like milk, but deals a double blow to the "supply demand" dynamics of aging courtship. Not only do men get better with age, they lose an interest in pursuing women as well.
This isn't to say that men as they approach 50 don't notice a fine POA crossing their vantage point, but based on my observations they are less willing to spend the effort and resources in trying to procure a hottie.
And who can blame them?
If we revert back to lizard-brain-neaderthal times, calories spent was the primary calculation that determined if you lived or died. Do I spent 5,000 calories of energy pursuing a herd of deer to MAYBE beget 6,000 calories of meat? Do I spend 10,000 calories tilling fields to grow a crop to MAYBE beget 12,000 calories of food? Though our minds have recently been inoculated against such biological mathetmatical realities for the past 100 years due to advances in food production, that doesn't undo the 2 million years of human genetic evolution that has trained mens' brains intuitively to calculate every proposition as such.
Ergo, it is in man's natural instinct to constantly weigh the pro's and con's of effort expended on trying to mate versus the opportunity cost. And with ample supply of food, not to mention an unlimited choice of substitute goods (video games, scotch, TV, sports, internet porn, etc.), most logically thinking males will choose the substitute goods and "rub one out" to quote Bill Burr, as that is the least expenditure of physical effort and calories and therefore provides them (according to their lizard brain) the highest chances of survival.
This then leads me to my theory that most men have a finite and limited amount of "fuel." In my younger, more idealistic, years, I would have contended a man's life force was unlimited. He was truly limitless. All he needed was mere support from society and a man's potential was unlimited. While I do on a theoretical basis yearn to believe as such, living in the real world and seeing just how "anti-progress" society is, I've come to accept that a man's potential is indeed limited by the idiocy, closemindedness, bigotry, and anti-success-envy that rules the rest of society. It not only is draining, but is also provides great disincentive at every step of a (would be) genius' advancement. Constantly hounded about inequality, superior performance, the concept of "excellence," and bedraggled into the mundacity of "affirmative action," a true genius or society performer has the life and inspiration kicked out of them. Combine this with progressive tax rates and a general hatred for the successful, men's fuel or "desire" to perform at their peak is severely deterred.
This acceleration, according to my theory, "burns up" the "tolerance fuel" young men have for society, included of which is women. A young man circa 1947 would graduate from college, know how to weld, and likely have a serious job offer at the local car shop. He would have little to no problem finding a suitable woman to court and she'd be happy to court him. Today, however, with $50,000 in debt, no job prospects, and a part time job at Starbucks seriously burns through whatever "patience fuel" a young man has today. Throw in the generally bitchy attitude of most American female college graduates and you don't have June Cleaver at home to soothe your ills and support you, but rather a demanding, commanding, fuel-burning battle axe blathering on about her worthless liberal arts degree. Not only does the lack of economic and employment opportunity burn away at your fuel, but the parasitic deadweight of liberal arts majoring bloviating entitled-thinking American females just evaporates whatever remaining fuel reserves you have left.
Accelerate this scenario over the course of a 20 to 30 something man's life. Poverty, constantly harangued with a never ending supply of self-entitled liberal female adult-children, and in the end, you will burn out. You will lose your patience, and you will lose your desire to ever go to a club or a bar again. And thus my theory.
Most men have only a limited amount of energy, patience, tolerance, and naivete. But once that runs out, they will rarely, if ever, go out to the club scene and present the "supply curve" of attention women so desperately want. Over time, as men age and get wise, they will eschew the night club scene, and even the online dating scene, as they realize, time and time again, their efforts are wasted. And since their efforts are wasted and said efforts are a very real and mathematical percentage of their lives, costing them genuine opportunity costs, they will scale down.
The results are obvious:
Less men at clubs
Less men at dance classes
Less men asking women out.
Less men in general
This isn't to say hot spots in NYC or Las Vegas aren't going to be teaming with DudeBroInc. But it is to say that over time young men, after having the candle burned at both ends, will "burn out" running out of fuel and no longer have the energy or fuel to go out at night to find you. They will be at home, watching Midnight Run, watching porn, grilling steaks or reading books.
Just remember that when you're 42 and still think you have the right to fire up your "Bitch Shield" because nobody is watching.
37 comments:
Interesting perspective. Then how in turn will the female population react to this decrease in supply of men looking to date them? Will they give up, get fat, and drop out too and pursue their lonely pursuits? (very likely) Or will they change their behavior, try to understand what men want and provide it in order to get desired male attention? (significantly less likely)
Women will compete for the ever dwindling and lowered quality supply of men. The cost of such men will increase significantly e.i. the woman will have to be very hot and sexually available, as well as agreeable. Dudes will still fuck sluts, mostly on their own terms. Ugly people will continue to hook up and procreate. Many people, mostly women, will be priced out of the sex and relationship game,.
Women really painted themselves into a corner with this whole feminism thing. The concept of giving up pussy for free really backfired on them badly by reducing the cost of it significantly, ultimately harming their negotiating position tremendously. They used to have a pussy cartel with a hard, iron chokehold on sexual access. 50 years ago a man had to make a lifelong legal commitment of exclusive resource providership just to get access. Now all he has to do is learn a little game, hop on tinder, hook up, and he's back on his Playstation by 11PM. Makes me think the women's lib movement was actually orchestrated by some pretty savvy, red pill dudes who wanted to crash the price of pussy.
It's a good time to be a man. We should thank them.
Reminds me of that Blade Runner line, about replicant's longevity "the candle burning twice as bright lasts half as long". That is the opportunity cost of game.
But watching Midnight Run, having steak and scotch, finish it off with a cigar and rub one out to internet porn sounds like a decent consolation prize.
Part of me wishes that what you stated wasn't true, but to be honest, I'm seeing a lot of this and among surprisingly young men too.
No decent man wants to marry a re-virginated slut who's putting on aires of chastity. Couple that with the attitude displayed by a modern woman and you need not wonder as to "where have all the good men gone?"
With marriage rates plummeting, along with the entitlement mentality of so many of our fellow citizens, American society is in a state of decline if not collapse.
I wish it was different but that I don't see it.
"Less men in general"
---------------------------
What contributes to this is the shorter male life span. We're dying like flies over the years which truly contracts the supply of men.
I left this post at Dalrock's forum yesterday:
"I think something that needs to be pointed out, and I don’t recall having seen here or at Alpha Game Blog is this: for a man who is exhausted tending to the thorns and thistles of the garden, he doesn’t have much energy for game.
I believe this is why the Bible *commands* women to submit to their husbands, b/c his energy is being spent obeying God’s Dominion Mandate.
That doesn’t mean you’re wrong about using Game, it just means that it’s not always so simple. It also means that it may be that we teach young men NOT to spread themselves so thin that they don’t have energy to use Game once married. The husband’s excuse that his overworked life was to provide financial security for his family could be seen as idolatry and/or a love of money."
And here's a link to Doc Mercury (of Maggie's Farm fame) who gives some advice on the subject
http://www.docmercury.com/secrets/for-men-in-their-mid-30s-only
The section about the calorific expenditure to acquire more calories is so on the money and the way you apply it to modern day dating scene is very apt. I have been single for 3 years after an LTR with a real moocher, proud she couldn't cook, large spend on goods,dinners, etc. So glad I've discovered this and other blogs. Great places to shoot the shit and see the light. I'm slowly getting to the point I won't need a woman for emotional support or anything else for that matter. Maybe I'll meet a woman, maybe I won't, not my priority. Getting out of debt, getting a bike, seeing the world, getting stronger, those are my priorities.
As one of your older "sagely" readers (my son would roll his eyes at "sagely") I can only offer my experience. Being separated for a while with my own successful business, there are plenty of not-unattractive women around that would justifiably be in my sphere of action, but when I think of the effort to be expended and the nonsense to go through, a simple lay just isn't worth it. At my age, a pleasing and loving personality holds far greater weight, and those are in short supply. One nice thing though, when you don't really care, it is a lot easier to chat up attractive women.
I am one of those young men whose drive has been sapped.
Now I only do the absolute barest minimum required to survive and get my dick wet - and even then these ladies aren't worth the energy it takes to produce and expel a load.
I have taken my chips off the table.
Another well written post cappy. I am basically the male you just described in your post. 28, degree, good job, plenty of disposable income and zero desire to court a modern American wimminz. The future is going to become more interesting as the wellfare state runs out of other people's money and wimminz continue to lament where have all the good men gone! Thanks cap for being a voice of reason in an age of unprecedented ignorance.
Aaron if you are reading this please watch this. MY GOD:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTIkFoTlUaQ
This is all so true. At 55 I would rather vacation at upscale resorts by myself rather than having some younger snarky know it all woman along with me talking about some nonsense. I just want some peace.
In my experience the body's adrenaline eventually burns it out.
I noticed this for me around 26, Im 34 now and care even less. This needs to be a video or expanded on there Cappy.
Every once in a while you hit great topics but don't expand much on them. I think you should in my opinion.
I think another key point is that as you get older you get better at spotting the gold diggers and time wasters and cutting them off very quickly. Better to go about your business living your life as you see fit and only perk up when an attractive lass chooses to put herself in your path. =)
Absolutely spot on, my friend.
Since graduating college at 22, I have endured two divorces (17 years of marriage combined), a custody battle, two live-ins, extensive forays in online dating (fleecing by any other name), and a housing crash.
Now at the age of 44, I am still active and get my fair share of intimate attention, but there are many evenings where I would prefer to watch the sunset alone with a good bottle of scotch. Far more rewarding than a date with the average mid-aged divorcee.
Alternate title -
"When you realise the Game is not worth the Candle"
there are always exceptions to that. my dad is still skiing at 70 and if my sisters are correct, still gets it at least once a week from my mom. now, its never been important to me to get it regularly, but i do want to be skiing at 70 and i do believe women want the guy who is out and about over the bookreader/tv watcher.
I'm in my fifties and don't see a good return on investment in chasing women. If you look at the sexual market as an economic market, there should be a market clearing price where supply equals demand. What I see among women my age is women demanding too much and men deciding it's not worth it. You can see this in the fact that more women under 45 are married than men but it reverses after that. So why do they do that? I think many older women just falsely assume there's the same demand for them as when they were a twenty year hottie. They haven't adjusted to the reality that their sexual market value has dropped a lot while it's dropped at a slower rate on the male side. You also have to consider the sexual market isn't a free market due to government intervention. Imagine if you had no welfare, no affirmative action giving women higher paying jobs and no unfair divorce and child support laws giving them unearned income. The supply of women willing to make more of an effort on their side to please men in order to get a male provider would increase and in turn more men would be interested in them. Under current conditions, though, it's not worthwhile for an average middle aged guy to invest a lot of his time to get the typical modern day middle aged American female.
Given that women are hopeless at grasping cause and effect, they'll most likely double down on their entitled bitchiness.
Sit back, tap the keg of home-brewed IPA, and enjoy the decline, guys.
Imagine if you had no welfare, no affirmative action giving women higher paying jobs and no unfair divorce and child support laws giving them unearned income. The supply of women willing to make more of an effort on their side to please men in order to get a male provider would increase and in turn more men would be interested in them.
I dunno. It might take a generation or two for men to even begin to trust women again with LTRs. Right now, I doubt many men would see a woman's pursuit of committment in a post-crash, dystopian society as anything other than their natural hypergamy on necessity-induced steroids. I'm sure more than a few men's attitude would be "nice try, sweetie, but no sale. You shat this mess in your own bed, now sleep in it."
Being an old fart, I gave up on them some twelve years ago. To be fair - my game was never good. I'm also fat, and out of shape from 30 years of spending 75 hours a week in front of a computer and not forcing my self to workout. So part of it maybe them giving up on me too.
As you get older, your tolerance for brain dead chattering about all the really important issues facing some reality tv star, disappears.
Older women are easer to talk with, in many cases still have some memory of what "Grace, Class & Style" actually mean, yet far to many have bought into the feminist meme that says - you're a woman you can have it all! Not having been able to actually achieve that, makes them bitter. Too many of them, makes the sorting a pain in the ass.
I prefer to spend my time doing things that don't give me a headache.
This reminds me of the "wgtow/dead battery" article a while back on this same site. This copper top died at 33 after being drained at 29. The sad thing is it all doesn't have to be. Which only reinforces that women can't go their own way. They're ultimately forced into the unavoidable consequences of their actions.
It's a sensible argument.
Any thinking person knows that life is just a cost-benefits exercise. I want X; it will provide benefits Y, but the cost is Z. If the ratio Y/Z is high enough, go for it. Cost, in this case, includes the number of active hours of time available. As we get older, those decrease, so the cost of getting a good woman and doing the kabuki dance that's needed to build and maintain a relationship increases. But the benefits are decreasing around us. Women marry and then divorce at will, trashing lives. Sex is nice, but at some point, it's not worth the trouble as the Y/Z ratio drops too low.
The end result of this will be that single, childless women will demand Our Helpful Government to rule that artificial insemination will be covered under Obamacare, and women who get it will be entitled to the equivalent in money and benefits of a $50K+ job straight from Uncle Sugar. Of course, it's only fair that single men pay a higher share of that burden, so at some point, that'll be included in taxes. Problem=solved!
Agent J
Capt, I think you might be missing one more element, children.
I would think there are very few guys in the 40-50 range that want to make that kind of commitment and expend that amount of energy.
Children being the primitive reason for hooking up in the first place, without that desire for children, there really is no necessity for having a woman in your life.
I think we men get to a place where being on our own is ok, and can even be desirable, especially if you're having to "start over".
Fuck that, love my wife, but this is my second and LAST marriage.
Spot on. I'm in my late forties, divorced about six years ago and was ready to go out and find someone worthwhile. As I have settled into my mostly fun single life, I now find myself paying off my debts, riding my Harley, taking surfing trips, reading a lot, watching good movies, and just generally enjoying my life. I have stopped visiting the dating websites. It is just too much effort and I can't be bothered.
It isn't just the fuel running out that's the problem. How will society recover when a generation or two of men don't even bother in the first the place?
In your book ETD, you preach your chosen lifestyle of minimalism. As more men give up ambition and learn to live for themselves first, I wonder what mechanism will reset male ambition and drive?
You are onto something here and, judging by the anecdotal comment section here, totally en pointe. If I was to leave my live-in LTR right now, I'd be done.
My mom asks me whether I would ever have kids since I'm probably her last hope for grandkids.
"Mom, I haven't found a woman worthy of them yet."
Ceases all arguments since she can't disagree.
(Sung to the tune of Where Have All the Flowers Gone)
Where have all the good men gone, Long time ago...
Where have all the good men gone, So long ago...
Where have all the good men gone, Sluts and feminists nit picked them everyone...
When will they ever learn, no they're never going to learn...
Let's get something clear right now. Period. It is NOT TRUE re: anything w/ 'age', as I do not see, per se, as much as a gender bias tone in your 'theories', as your PREOCCUPATION with 'age', or 'ageism', just another element to 'categorize', 'put in a box' of some sort and belittle the female species. Now, I'm not BLIND, and if one can CLEARLY open their eyes and 'see', it is QUITE OBVIOUS, that just bec. someone is in their 20's, it is NOT SYNONOMOUS with beauty. And I'm talking 'physical beauty', NOT JUST inherent, inner beauty. In other words, I DAILY see 50 yr old's, 50 yr. old young ladies that are PRETTIER than quite a few 20 yr. olds, HANDS DOWN. SORRY, IF IT TAKES THE WINDS OUT OF YOUR ARGUMENTS TO BE JUST 'ANOTHER ATTACK' ON 'girls', 'ladies', 'women'. Not that I am trying to make this statement adversarial, per se; I am not, but 'the truth' is the truth. I could care less what any of you say, if a woman has 'natural beauty' [not many, with 'real, natural G_d given physical beauty'] she'll beat a 30 yrs. younger woman out, anytime, anytime. Not that this is any egotistical competitive dynamic, hopefully. But, in 'your own conceit' of your worth and values as a male [i.e., some males] it's simply a lie and another attack to keep the upper hand and to belittle the other gender. Sorry, it won't work, it's too obvious, that you're purposely inducing 'a prejudicial spirit' towards something, really, that is 'AN UNTRUTH'. PERIOD. Pt. 1 [Happy Belittling, Knock Yourselves Out]
I just posted a comment on 'this silly, heady subject' of 'the lesser value' of a natural born beauty at a certain age, if she's past 20 - and how 'that' is 'an attack', something new, actually, I believe in society, in these 'end days' we are living with. With brutal minded [meaning certain] men and the 'conceit of their greater value' as 'an attack on these women', almost 'an assault' I would term it. Anyway, I'm actually wondering if [whomever] will truly have 'the courage' to publish it, next to all 'the other incendiary comments' from certain men, who as The Bible would term it,'think MORE HIGHLY of themselves, than they ought [to]'. That's such a great laugh, but, this spirit in society, against women now, coming from men, IS 'ACTUALLY' WHAT'S CAUSING THE PROBLEM; IT'S TECHNICALLY, ASSAULTING WOMEN, ATTACKING G_D'S CREATION. ! [WOE TO YOU! SORRY, BUT TRUE]
What in the name of fuck is this woman talking about?
"anne spence said..."
A bunch of random crap that makes little, if ANY, sense. Wahh wah wah, cry cry cry, blah blah blah.
There is NO 50 year old that's better looking than she was at 20. None. The Wall sees to that. The Wall is the gods' own justice visited upon women for being such horrible monsters when they're younger.
I swear, feminazis get more illiterate by the day. I tried, briefly, to follow what she was saying, but it just wasn't happening.
I guess the "Shotgun Approach" isn't just for guys trying to get some strange in online dating, neh? Apparently it's a strategy for feminazis and other deluded filth when posting comments on the Net. "Throw enough words out, something is bound to come together in a way that makes sense."
I really need a beer after wading through almost half of that fish's nonsense.
Wikked --
Whisky is more beautiful and will lie to you much less than "anne spence" ...
You really can't enjoy her decline.
hmm isnt this just like the ever shifting peak oil target?
as demand for womens attention drops, supply will increase as they get more desperate, raising the capital of previously looked over men, who would be eager enough to go have their turn.
Cappy,
Longtime reader, first time poster. I am finding this to be true. I'm in my late 30s, been divorced for a shade over five years, and find myself running out of gas. It's all about return on investment for me. You spend untold money or time or both getting a woman, and you can only keep her temporarily before she is distracted by the newest jangling keys.
I would love to have a wife and children, but I honestly don't know how you do that anymore. With social media, and smart-phones, and online dating, the split second she get's bored she gets gone, which means you have to restart the entire process over. It's a drag.
When I first hit the market again, I was out there constantly. I'm noticing the interval between dating episodes for me is getting longer and longer.
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