Sunday, March 17, 2013

Larissa Faw's "Successful, Gorgeous, and Amazing" Friends

Ed Thatch has a post up on Return of Kings that merits reading unto itself, but what caught my eye was him quoting a young lady named "Larissa Faw."  Larissa writes for Forbes magazine about Millennial and young women's issues (because what else would there be to write about?) and in her latest post she did what every budding 20 something female journalist seems compelled and mandated to do:

She bragged about her "awesome" friends and how they just can't seem to find a man.

So common is this it makes one sit back and say,

"OK, why is this such a common phenomenon?  Why are there so many "successful, gorgeous, and amazing" friends of female journalists that just "can't seem to find a man?  More so why do these journalists keep bragging about their "amazing" friends who just can't seem to find a guy?"

The answer is in the myopic view of women, especially those in journalism.  They are incapable of asking what men want, and instead ply their own standards of either what they want or what they think men should want in terms of a suitable and compatible mate.  This results not just in a mismatch between the traits Larissa's "successful, gorgeous and amazing" have and what men are looking for, but complete and utter confusion on the part of the ladies.

Of course to the outside observer, this is funny.  Women telling women what men should like in them, is like my friend Steve telling me how I should breath while in labor.  It doesn't apply.  But what makes it worse is when a woman dares to ask a man what he wants OR a man simply speaks the truth about what men want, they are lambasted, lectured and villainized.  Women even go so far as to TELL MEN WHAT THEY SHOULD LIKE IN A WOMAN (You ever been called "shallow?"  You see the "fat acceptance" movement?  You ever have a woman's personality listed as the primary reason you should date her?)

The reason for such a vitriolic response to fact and truth (instead of what it should be - acceptance) is because women have been brought up and brainwashed (primarily by their own selves) to believe what they WANT.  Not what the reality is.  And so any time someone dare introduce an ounce of reality into their fragile and delusional world, they get angry.  Never mind that the purveyor of truth is trying to help you.  Never mind this article would help Larissa's "successful, gorgeous, and amazing" friends (SGAF's henceforth).  The irony/hilarity/sad thing is most women reading this right now are having their emotions blind them to the gold nugget of help we're trying to give them.

Now, even though I doubt most of Larissa's SGAF's will listen, in a vain attempt to bring an end to young female journalists wondering aloud how their "amazing" friends aren't snatched up by men, permit me some explaining.  Specifically, let's look at what qualifies a woman as "gorgeous, successful and amazing" in the eyes of a woman and compare it to what men want.

When it comes to "gorgeous" women give other women, especially their friends, such a large handicap it dwarfs the tonnage of affirmative action handicap we've given to Barack Obama on the economy.  I don't know how many arguments I've had with heterosexual women about how "pregnant is not beautiful."  There I am, the heterosexual male.  THE authority on what is or is not "gorgeous" in the female sex, and I have a bunch of women, who have NO INTENTION OR DESIRE to date other women and therefore are NOT authorities on female beauty, arguing with me about whether a pregnant woman is beautiful.  "Gorgeous" means (and I'll say it again, despite saying it many times before):

Tight ass
Pretty face
Long legs
Long hair
Big boobs preferable

That's it.  Period.  End of discussion.

How many of the SGAF's actually have all those traits?  Probably none.  But Larissa can't tell her friend Amy, "You're ass is too big" and thus needs to keep the lie up.

"Successful?"  I think we've covered this before.  Successful in what?  Engineering?  Surgeon?  Oil platform driller? Accountant?


"social worker, teacher, nanny, marketing executive, designer consultant, fashion consultant?"  ie-somebody who not only doesn't make a lot of money, but relies on men disproportionately paying more in taxes to create a government make-work job to make you feel like you're "an independent woman?"

Also, as mentioned in Ed Thatch's post, how much money do those ladies save?  Because, let's just say for the sake of arugment, the SGAF does make $100,000.  How many of them blow through that and spend $120,000?  Isn't success supposed to be how much money or wealth you have saved up?  Not how many pairs of shoes you have?  And don't even get me started about student debts.  I'd surmise the majority of Larissa's SGAF's have a negative net worth and are heavily reliant upon the Daddy-Government-Hubby complex for their livelihood and subsidy.

"Amazing?"  Really?  Did she really do something to AMAZE you?  Like if I met your group of SGAF's I would be AMAZED with each and every one of them?  Notice in my previous post I LIST THE INDIVIDUAL ACCOMPLISHMENTS of my male friends.  They have done things that ARE amazing.  I have done things that are amazing.  So when you compare your typical SGAF's accomplishments of,

"Earned my Masters in English, and I like to travel, I TOTALLY LOVE SUSHI, OMG!  And I'm like really conscious about the environment."


"I scaled 10 11,000+ foot peaks in a year, did two 1,500 mile plus motorcycle rallies, put myself through college, wrote 4 books, taught myself motorcycle repair, and I'm a ballroom dancer"

you can understand;

1.  you're not amazing, you're actually quite common, common to the point there's millions of women just like you out there
2.  you do not prompt an inkling of desire to consider you a potential candidate for marriage
3.  compared to me, you're so boring and NOT-amazing, my hobbies and interests are more rewarding than having sex with you.

In the end what men want is so simple, it's laughable more women haven't figured out what a HUGE advantage it would give over their competitions.

A physically attractive woman who is
reasonably intelligent
and likes sex

How 5 simple variables seem to elude the 150 million American women (even with all the brainwashing and propaganda) is beyond me and worth a Double Face Palm Award.


Anonymous said...

"Successful, gorgeous, amazing, but can't find a man" is really a codeword for "fat, frumpy, and bitchy, but has an incredibly inflated self-opnion."
No, I don't want to buy you a house, lady. Nor do I want to take over your debts, your wine habit, your insipid craving to "travel," and to cover your continual and very expensive restaurant bills.
You're about fifteen years too old and about forty pounds to heavy for me (or for most non-loser men) to consider doing that.

Anonymous said...

I got into an argument with the friend of a previous girlfriend about general appearance. Both of them worked at a local paper, the friend as a receptionist.
The friend: black clothes and hair, facial piercings and tattoos all over her body including up her neck.
They were both bemoaning the lack of diversity in companies because the friend just couldn't seem to get a job anywhere because of her appearance.
I explained that if I ran a million dollar company I'd want a welcoming person with an approachable appearance.
I got berated by both for being so superficial.
From where I stood she was the superficial one for refusing to tone down her image for a measly 8 hours a day for money (hardly prostitution) because she identified herself by her image and she saw toning that down as selling out.
I had little sympathy or respect for her since I work in a STEM field in a uniform out in the elements and she won't even take a few piercings out and cover up for a job in air conditioning!

WhiteKnight said...

Im going to criticize just one thing about this post, because the rest is spot on: pregnant women CAN be hot, especially if you are the father and you want children. Carrying a baby isn't the same thing as carrying a huge load of fat.

But truth be told, the appeal is largely based on the assumption that it is YOUR child she is carrying.

coolstud said...


KurtP said...

Gotta disagree a little with your qualities- but it's one of those personal like things....
Long hair, good face, big boobs and smart, who doesn't mind getting sweaty while working on the house AND knows her way around jet electronics.

She's married to me :-D
Did I mention she's on the stout side (chubby is sooo overused)?

Anonymous said...

WhiteKnight has a legitimate point. If she's carrying your kid, genetics should have you pretty well programmed to see her as beautiful because of the whole passing genes on thing. If she's carrying someone else's kid, your genetics are pretty much saying 'don't waste your time, bro.'

Totally agreed on women being clueless about what men are looking for. Note how the first word used is successful. Being a huge success and having a great career and otherwise having status reads to a lot of women like a pretty face and tight body do to a man. That's just genetics and I wouldn't blame a woman for choosing a successful guy over an unsuccessful one, yet when a man pursues what his genetics tell him to pursue, he's treated as shallow. Call them sexist if you get into such an argument, it usually works well.

Anonymous said...

In the original article, doesn't she get the answer to her question in the second paragraph:

“I don’t think the issue is that men used to be great and now they’re not,” says Jezebel’s Katie J.M. Baker. “Women used to feel more pressure to get married and have kids earlier, and prioritize those goals above the others.”

In other words, while they were young and hot they picked the best guy they could find, married them, and had kids.

Just like one of these chicks to continue blabbing on long after all that needs to be said is said.


beta_plus said...

I hope SGAF joins the manosphere lexicon next to NAWALT.

Anonymous said...

"how they just can't seem to find a" woman

There fixed it, that pretty well described me for most of my bachelor years.

I now know why, and it wasn't entirely because I was socially clueless (well, and uninterested).

Anonymous said...


You have to make a category that collects all of these types of posts on male dating burnout, so the SGAFs can understand what is really happening. For example, this needs to be grouped with the following masterpiece:

Yes, Men Do Leave the Market

Where Good Men Are

Advice for My Younger Cappy Cap Brothers

James Wolfe said...

My wife when she turned 40 announced to the family that she wasn't haaaaapy, and set off to make up for all the years wasted being a wife and mother, to find that perfect man, to have fun dating like all her younger friends, and finally have it all. Unfortunately she didn't realize that she's 20 years past her prime, she looks ridiculous wearing younger kids clothes with sequins and sparkles, and all the good men are taken. While I know I have faults, we all do, I'm the only one who was willing to put up with her and was willing to spend the rest of my life with her. All of these men she pursued turned out to be two time losers, all divorced multiple times, can't get a job, etc. Why do women delude themselves and through away every good opportunity? They throw away pearls looking for a diamond. It's unfortunate for them, and for us.

Unknown said...

Perhaps the women you complain about are looking for men who are:
Physically attractive
Reasonably intelligent
Competent in the sack

...and the the bellyaching manospheric Studley Screwrights don't meet these reasonable criteria.

I see at least one fat, ugly stupid man for every fat, ugly stupid woman that crosses my view.

Anonymous said...

As someone who speaks 8 languages (15 on a good day), I'd advise people not to learn two at once. They interfere with one another, and what you're left with is an incoherent mess. Also, the memory palace strategy works very well, especially as the ability to memorize deteriorates with age. But all in all, language is nothing more than a hobby - not a marketable skill. I'd say that in my entire career, I've made only 10k total working with language - I do other things to make the money I live on. The thing is, if you're a white dude applying for a position involving language specifically - people are going to go with either a native speaker or a 2nd-3rd generation immigrant. They're probably going to speak the language more naturally than you, and they look better as a diversity hire. You can compensate by learning obscure languages, or playing the trustworthy insider - a lot of native translators and analysts will sugarcoat the uglier and more embarrassing parts of their culture - but overall it's a bad career strategy. When the government, or business community loses interest in a part of the world, they lose interest in you as well. This is what happened to a lot of the Arabic students who came up in our education system over the last 10 years - when we left Iraq, their services were no longer required. So take the advice of our good Captain and avoid foreign language/area studies degrees.

wheels said...

Hey, "Unknown," not all of them. My wife divorced me because she wasn't getting what she wanted out of the relationship.

She was a heavy reader of romance novels, and couldn't/wouldn't tell me what she wanted that I wasn't providing, because, and I quote, "it wouldn't mean as much if I told you."

That certainly wasn't the only problem in our marriage, but it was a major one, and highlights the "expectations" issue.

Ghost of 503 said...

I might be a little more on the... sympathetic side, but I'd say to these girls to find someone who wasn't a close friend and ask this person to do an assessment of the girl in question like they would if they had to decide between hiring her versus someone else. Outside opinions are sometimes the best.

Unknown said...


ah yes, the expectations issue; the root of many problems. Too many women have decided they deserve an amalgam of Carey Grant, John D. Rockefeller, a teddy bear, Giacomo Casanova, and Percy Bysshe Shelley.

Too many men figure that they rate a combination of Madam Curie, a young Heidi Klum, and The Irish Washerwoman with the stash of a Sam Walton heiress.

There ain't near enough of either to go around, so far too many stay disappointed and keep looking around for an improved version.

Unrealistic expectations are probably the source of most of the unhappiness in the world.

My guess is that your ex had no idea of what she wanted, which is why she couldn't articulate it.

I hope you weren't too badly burned.

Anonymous said...

Women: They don't want what they say they want in men, and men don't want what women say they want in women.

Ladies, you suck at life.

LostEveryWeekend said...

There really is an absurd emphasis on how "great" and "UHH-MAZE-ING" girls friends are. When I hear women use those terms, I want to vomit. One, because they are so excessive and childish in their hyperbole. Two, because they never live up to the qualities. They're actually nowhere close. I honestly think I could better deal with how un-inspiring these women were if they would just stop using these exaggerated adjectives.

Anonymous said...

And if we don't have a pretty face or long legs?? We're magically meant to change that?!

Sex Panther said...

confront women's solipsism head on with a return question

"What is it about you that makes the kind of men you say your interested in avoid you like the plague?"

Captain Capitalism said...

Anon 934PM

Well then it sucks to be you and YOU get to live with it.

Everybody has their drawbacks and disadvantages. I'm short.

So what? Is everybody supposed to cut two inches off their leg bones or "awwww poor baby" me? Are women supposed to FORCE themselves to find me attractive?

Cripes sake, are you a "strong independent woman" or just somebody who plays one on TV.


Anonymous said...

No, I'm not a "strong, independent woman" if I was, I would have been able to deal with your post.

I'm simply trying to learn more about the manosphere and the reasoning that is used. I'm not a feminist or cock-carouseller.

Anonymous said...

Women have the upper hand in dating and can usually find a man who outranks them in looks and money. The most unattractive, unemployed woman out there can easily find a man who is more attractive and has a job and from what I have seen often wind up with average looking guys with average or good jobs. Women can generally date up in terms of looks and money but only to a point. Good looking guys with lots of money have many options and dont need Larissa or her friends but if these women were to just adjust there standards slightly they could find what they wanted. Maybe if they are average looking they can "settle" for an average guy who has more money than them. Contrary to contrary belief some men are impressed by what a woman does for a living but an good looking 40 year old male lawyer can find a hot 30 year old nurse and may prefer her to a 40 year old female lawyer etc. I could go on and on but the only point I really want to make is what i already said, if these women dropped their standards a little, maybe go out with a man who was average looking, or gasp short they could find a guy and one with a universsity career and a blew collar job. I am also pretty sure there are good looking mechanics who would be impresed with an average looking female lawyer.
These women are nuts and if a man had such an outlandish sense of entitlement he would be laughed at.