Wednesday, March 13, 2013

The Kissing Balance of Sickness

The paradox is a common one.

One of the lovers is sick.

The other is not.

Do you refrain from kissing that person, so as not to infect him/her?


Do you "wuv dem sooooo much dat" getting sick is worth the few precious kisses and you infect them anyway?

Well, let a cold hearted economist provide some insight.

Say one of you is sick.

This precludes you from kissing your beau/babe for the time that person is infected with the disease.  That person suffers, and you don't get to kiss him/her.  But inevitably that person will recover and then you can get back to "sickness-free kissin' time." 

But if you are of the "kisses are worth the sickness" philosophy, then you too are going to get sick.

If you get sick and the other person recovers, then all you have managed to do is simply put that person in the exact same position you were in, THUS PREVENTING THE EXACT SAME AMOUNT OF KISSING.

THEREFORE (thanks to my SAEG (tm))

It is best to let the person be, NOT KISS YOUR BETTER HALF, have "girls weekend" or "guys weekend," and let them fully recover, for if you do, then you

1.  won't get sick
2.  won't lose out on any more kisses than you would anyway (because of the duality of sickness)
3.  and will halve the sick-kissing time, replacing it with "healthy-kissing time."

I am glad I have solved this life-long paradox, making life easier for millions of future generation people.

You may send your thanks by shopping at Amazon or buying one of my many SAEG (tm) books.


Jason Cato said...

I believe it is good for my immune system to expose myself to germs. Sort of a 'hygrometer paradox.' At least until I get older and have a weaker immune system.

Anonymous said...

one would note that in general disease is more communicable either just before or at the onset of symptoms. So if you just avoid the cuddles for the first day or so of illness, you should be good. if anything, you would catch a less severe form of the illness, and be sick less than you might otherwise.

August said...

Incorrect, sir.
The correct assumption is that your loved one has already caught your sickness. The primary vector for most of these things is airborne, so while you are worrying about kissing, your loved one is breathing in a vapor cloud of icky little germs.
So, your approach only works if you haven't seen your loved one at all, even before the onset of symptoms, and then you can tell her to stay out of your house until all the ickiness has passed.
I read a study where they tested this, but I can't figure out where it is now.

Anonymous said...

You had me for a moment and then you lost me. You don't put the other person to the kiss or sick dilemma because 1) they already beat that same bug and 2) if they feel exactly the same way as you then they won't mind kissing you when you are sick. if there was a vicious cycle of recurring sickness, you would be correct.

another thing to consider is that typical viral infections are airborne and spread by touch. while a kiss is almost certain to pass the disease, just being in the same house is very likely to produce the same result. so kiss away. or don't. when I'm sick I'm just not in the mood for it.

Anonymous said...

I always figure I'm going to get the sickness anyway, so might as well get it over with...

Anonymous said...

Economically, you should let the person with the most at risk decide. Thus, the healthy person chooses to risk exposure in return for the payoff that is offered.

Further, there is the matter of marginal risk. it isn't really a sick or not sick calculation. It is only the added risk posed by kissing that you have not already accepted from other forms of contact (like breathing the same air). Even if you go for total isolation from the loved one, you still accept some normal level of risk of getting the same sickness from somewhere else in your normal casual contacts.

Lamachus said...

Kiss other, less diseased parts of her body.

Ras Al Ghul said...

You are assuming the chance of getting sick from kisses is %100.

Its not.

Further, you are assuming that the sickness, as someone pointed out, has not already spread.

If the chance of getting sick is 50% it may be worth the risk, especially if the chane of already catching it is close to that number.

Finally, if I am healthy enough to enjoy kisses, and when she is sick, she will be healthy enough to enjoy kisses too then you have lost out on kisses you could have had.

Economically thinking, based on the nature of kisses, they being a good that may or may not be durable due to the vagaries of the market one should always capture your kisses when you can.

aerodawg said...

The calculus changes somewhat when you're living with someone, in my case Mrs. Aerodawg. Living in the same house with someone, there's a high probability you're going to catch whatever it is regardless unless you wear a biohazard suit around the house, so you may as well swap fluids and enjoy it.