Saturday, December 31, 2005
Young aspiring male economist romanciers, I am going to educate you on a lesson that is arguably the most important lesson I ever figured out in courting the ladies. It is a lesson that is going to make your courting life a HELL of a lot easier. And I am being 100% totally serious when I say it is a VITAL lesson to learn for I have seen many a-aspiring male economist romanciers go through unneeded and undeserved pain and strife.
Read these comics in order;
OK so this has happened to all of us and recently happened to a friend of mine (which triggered this post). Not to say that we've all had a date go "Oh my God, Dawson Creek is on" and then split on the date. But we all have been in the situation where we;
1. Land a date
2. Get excited about the date
3. And then either the date bails on us at the last minute or is no longer interested after the first date.
The problem is what happens after the girl bails on us or rejects us.
Note how Slick (the kid in the comic) responds in the last strip. He's kicking a can saying, "If I only...If I just....Maybe if I...."
And there's the problem right there.
It is this instantaneous, knee-jerk reaction that when a girl bails on us, men immediately and by default look at ourselves and say,
"Gosh, what did I do. Maybe if I did this, or maybe if I did that. What did I say? How could I improve."
And I too was in your situation as a young 24 year old when a girl cancelled on me on the last minute. And whilst racking my brain and replaying the events in order to find out what it was that I did wrong that caused her to bail, it then suddenly dawned on me;
WAIT A MINUTE, WHO SAID IT WAS MY FAULT?????
This revolutionary thinking totally changed the premise by actually admitting that maybe, maybe the problem wasn't the guy, but rather the girl. That maybe, it's just possible, that a man can play all of his cards right and the girl might be the one to fumble the ball.
Look at our young friend, Slick. How could an objective observer possibly blame Slick for the failure of the date?
So here's the rule gentlemen, it doesn't matter why the girl bails. The "why" is irrelevant. The only thing that matters is what "is." If the girl bails on you, don't rack your brain trying to find out why, you can't! The only thing you can do is accept what "is."
Furthermore, I want you to understand that the "why" is probably and most certainly stupid. The girl gets cold feet. The girl didn't want to go out with you in the first place, but just couldn't hurt your feelings. Dawson's Creek is on. Etc. Whatever the case, I can practically guarantee you that 100% of the time when a girl bails, cancels, etc., her reasoning is flawed and stupid. And that if you were to actually find out the "why" you would probably roll your eyes in disgust.
Alas, the whole benefit of this revelation is that you no longer have to piss away calories of energy, time, effort and thought trying to figure out why. You just accept and move on. Furthermore, there is the confidence that chances are it probably isn't you with the problem, and I am totally serious and I'll say it again, you will find out that, yeah, the VAST majority of the time it's not you, but the girl that has issues.
Of course, this whole theory is contingent on you playing your cards right and making sure you don't have a problem. And that means behaving in a manner or being a person that you are proud of. Being a gentleman. Being polite. Being somebody that you can look at and say, "If a girl turns this type of person down, then obviously she is the one that's ef'd up."
I personally aim my best to mimmick a WWII officer and gentleman. I mean, that's pretty safe. What possible rationale would a woman have to reject a WWII, 1940's, Cary Grantish gentleman? Thus, for me, when the girl can't make it because "her hair isn't dry" (I'm not kidding, I received this excuse MORE THAN ONCE IN 2005!!!!), I can sit back in confidence and say, "you know, I played that one pretty good. I was polite. I wasn't pushy. I was charismatic and funny on the phone. I was borderline Private Ryan with an element of Gregory Peck...this girl has issues."
So do yourselves a favor men, make a resolution for 2006. Resolve that you're not going to rack your brains over things that aren't your fault. Be a gentleman, be a good guy, be an upstanding dude. And if the ladies can't appreciate that, then we know whose fault that is.
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
You are going to die. You will end. You get one shot at this and thus;
Time is literally your only asset.
How you choose to spend your time is what will largely determine whether you lead a full and accomplished life...or whether you piss it away watching TV, saying no to dates. saying no to dances, rearing children, not trying new things or staying at home because you're too afraid to go out and live life.
But this is just an inexcusable and pathetic waste of a precious resource;
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Regardless the charts are good, my favorite of which is at the bottom;
This one is scary as hell.
This doesn't make things look better.
This tells me that morons live on the coast...but if you looked at voting pattern chart of the US, it would tell you the same.
This just tells me there's a lot more people applying for HEL's and ARM's to finance their trailer home or mobile homes.
This tells me I should move my tiny white ass out of this bitch ass cold state and move to Atlanta and find me a southern belle.
Monday, December 26, 2005
All Fall the top two topics of coversation were;
1. "Oh, My GOD! Did you see what happened on Desperate Housewives?"
Now, at first, when I heard the ladies talking about "Points" I thought there was this outside chance they were referring to the Band of Brothers episode when the troops were determining whether they had earned enough points to go home.
Of course, I was foolish to think that it was anything as historically high-brow or relevant as this.
For it turned out that the "points' they were talking about were Jenny Craig points.
Girl 1 - "Oh my God! did you know how many points are in a Chipolte fajita's shell? 14!"
Girl 2 - "NO!!!!"
Girl 1 - "Yeah!"
Girl 2 - "Like OMG, no way!"
Meanwhile, I'm reading an article about how China finances our current account deficit, thereby keeping interest rates artifically low, thus arguably inflating our property prices, and all I can think is
"somebody get me a muzzle."
Anyway, so the ladies of the office are all on some diet kick. Seems everybody is dieting. And truth be known, there are some ladies who aren't just flabbing their gums. Several ladies have lost significant wieght (one woman 75 pounds, another 35) and thus I tip my hat to them.
But for the remaining 46 of them and all their hyperbole about points and dieting and working out, I can't buy it, for it has happened now on several occasions where they'll talk about how they wish they were skinnier, how they are watching their "points" and how they're working out, and I KID YOU NOT within 30 seconds they're stuffing their face with all the holiday candy and junk food laying around.
Which reminded me of a fancy chart I saw;
So when I bitch about Minneapolis being such a crap hole for courting, you know I'm not just complaining.
Friday, December 23, 2005
OK, so Osama's niece is going to model and show a little skin. And frankly, I won't lie to you, yes, those western infidel men are going to look at her and drool over her, and I'll be the first in line.
That's just gotta piss him off...that's if he wasn't in some rock somewhere where the only communication he has is mule transported paper and he had access to modern day media.
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Being the economist, I thought it wise to show youPURE GENIUS I SAY TO USE RICARDIAN TRADE THEORY TO PICK UP A CHICK!!!
just how important your kisses are to the global
economy, international trade and the fight against
poverty. For you see, you refusing to sell your
kisses on the international markets would be like the
following countries refusing to offer their
Mexico, Illegal Immigrants
North Korea, Nuclear Arms
Saudi, Arabia Oil
Palestine, Suicide Bombers
London, Bad dental services
Ireland, drop dead gorgeous men, unrivalled kissing-training
This lowers standards of living by requiring other
countries to produce all the goods and services they
wish to consume, regardless of how inefficient they
are at producing it.
Thus, as you can plainly see your kisses are vital to
the economy and advancement of society. I wish it
were different, but alas one of the key revelations
you have when studying economics is that your personal
desires have no bearing on the natural forces of the
market and economics. Sorry.
Here's a link to provide you with a basic tutorial in
Ricardian trade theory.
I just can't figure out how it failed!
Sunday, December 18, 2005
Somebody explain to me the economic rationale for diamonds? As far as my thinking takes me, it's basically just payment for prostitution. Am I wrong?
Friday, December 16, 2005
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Look, people, did we forget so quickly the lessons learned in 1999?
Right now at Google's share price of $420 it has a market cap of $82 billion. That is worth more than Dell Computers, Goldman Sachs, General Dynamic and Target.
It's a freaking web site people.
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
I'm going to brush up on my Mandarin.
And "Gestapo" or "Nazi" or "Cancer" would be an appropriate surname for AARP as far as I'm concerned.
Monday, December 12, 2005
The report in the OECD was a little older and the above figures were updated by The Economist, so I went and looked for the original report.
Now if any of you know about data mining in the OECD you might as well look for a girl with a doctorate in economics who is a Microsoft Certified Halo Champion and dresses up in french maid outfits. Because these French geniuses who compile an amazing amount of economic data are idiots when it comes to organizing it or making it easy for normal people who land a date every once in a while to find it.
Thus, as with many of my trips to the OECD, it's like Best Buy;
No, they didn't have what I was specifically looking for, but I found some other stuff that I liked.
Particularly this report:
which has some good sh!t in it and particularly this chart that correlates home purchasing age with average increase in housing prices, suggesting the relationship between the proportion of a country's population that is of home buying age and housing prices.
Now, like Emril, you kick it up a notch and throw in a little dependency ratio action;
and the fact that the Baby Boomers (across Europe and the US) are going to retire, sell their homestead and secondary houses when they go into assistent living/nursing home, thus adding more supply to a housing market, and
BAAAM!(or whatever the hell he says)
I think, I THINK, it may just add some downward pressure on housing prices.
Monday, December 05, 2005
Friday, December 02, 2005
But for those of you a little older or younger, fret not, for it's not about the movie Heathers. But it is about suicide.
Not that I was in a particularly macabre mood, specifically looking for this data, but it just happened upon me; suicide rates by country.
Now what caught my eye is that the WHO ranked it by the MALE suicide rate, presumably because men commit the vast majority of suicides (you'll have to click on the chart to make it legible).
This alone is evidence to me that women drive men crazy, particularly in the former Soviet Union and socialist, developed European countries.
But curiosity got the best of me and so I re-ranked them based on the FEMALE suicide rate.
Somewhat of a correlation, Russian Federation and former Soveit Bloc countries there. As well as a good showing for the developed world in Europe.
And then curiosity got me again. If I really wanted to know which country the women were driven men the maddest, I should calculate the ratio of male suicides to female suicides, resulting in this;
Seems in Kuwait men and women drive each other equally mad while America's poor ranking further convinces me American women at the behest of Glamour Mag and Women's Studies Departments are the instigators in the majority of cases. But, good lord, stay the hell out of Belize gentlemen.
All this being said, suicide is a serious problem and it should not be made light of.
Dreadful etiquette. I apologize.
Thursday, December 01, 2005
First, you have this poll "commissioned by WakeUpWalMart.com, a union-funded group"
Stop right there.
It's worthless. You needn't read any further.
It's like saying;
"A poll commissioned by Captain Capitalism to determine who is the world's sexiest man is found that 98% of the people found Captain Capitalism to be the world's sexiest man."
Second, WHO GIVES A DAMN IF 59% OF THE PEOPLE THINK WAL-MART IS BAD FOR AMERICA!
Here's a clue for all you people so concerned about choice and hate Wal-Mart;
THEN DON'T SHOP THERE!!!! You go pay inflated prices to support the Ma and Pa stores. The rest of us will enjoy a higher standard of living.
Third, those out there who THINK Wal-Mart is bad for America, are morons. You're talking auto-union IQ's here where they don't take the time to be intellectually honest and research the basic economic principals of purchasing power and trade. They're sheople just regurgitating the juice fed to them by their leftist overlords and just want to bitch and complain.
One of the best things to happen to the US economy to help raise standards of living for all people, especially the poor. An invention that is on par I'd say with the internet and the left just can't stand it and has to try to besmirch it.
I am finding it harder and harder to believe that the left is misled as much as it is evil.
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
What a crappy city.
10% unemployment. Homeless wandering around. And that free bike program where they tried to emulate Holland I think it was. Yeah, that worked out in stars.
I mean with New York, Los Angeles and Chicago you at least have a megalopolis that provides you with the best the world has to offer.
But Portland? You have all the draw backs of a large city and none of the benefits.
Now, just imagine being a capitalist and living in this socialist enclave.
Such is the sad situation for Captain Arbyte.
Visit him and send him an e-mail some time. I'd hate to see the Oregon weather get to him and have him go into a funk.
Oh, and be sure to mention how much you like his new Babe-Magnet Buick LaCrosse.
Sunday, November 27, 2005
I know why this chart is irrelevant, but it is interesting and when you hear the socialists use their sound byte "evil rich corporate executives" blah blah blah, now you'll know what they're talking about.
Although, I seriously question whether they know what they're talking about.
Yeah, go socialism.
Thursday, November 24, 2005
I would love to see disgruntled North African and Muslim youth just try to pull this schtick here. Heck, I'd love to see disgurntled youth in general try to pull off this stuff here. Because something tells me that despite attempts to have femininity brow beaten into the American Male and to have us brainwashed into sensitive 90's type pansies, I still think we'd just start shooting these scum bags.
Monday, November 21, 2005
It confirmed something that everybody knew;
Countries with lower taxes grow faster than countries with higher taxes.
Correlations came in around -.3.
What got me about this data is that very few Republicans, Libertarians and other varied sorts of capitalists knew of this data and would largely rely on anecdotal evidence to support capitalism as the optimal economic system. Sure, they'd use logic. Or cite the utter and dismal record of communism in the glory days of Stalin, Chairman Mao, or modern day Kim Small Jong Il. But never really went out to see, "well, what tends to happen when countries are taxed at a higher rate."
Anyway, so I updated the figures with the most recent OECD data and, well, yeah, communism still sucks. Sorry dems and libs. When you argue against the truth, well, it's uhh...kind of hard to win.
Now, the vast majority of them (and actually by definition) have never gone to independently confirm this. They only regurgitate what they heard from their professor or the college friends who are being supported by Daddy. Alas, they don't really know why the Scandinavian countries do so well.
Now, out of all of them, Norway does the best, and by large margin. Norway is a rather successful socialist country (although it is not the one I was asking about in a previous post, there is another). And it has made gains against the US recently in the past 4 years to have an identical income per capita.
There's just one problem;
The source of this newfound wealth and economic success is oil.
How conflicted and hypocritical you liberals must feel.
Saturday, November 19, 2005
Regardless, because of the low leftist readership of this blog, this post might need to be forwarded to your leftist friends so I can get a leftist response.
Will somebody on the left tell me which socialist country does better than the US?
I already know the answer, I just want to see if the advocates of socialism do.
PS- Doinkicarus won the best chart competition. I will send the $25 and the sign picture of Captain Capitalism. E-mail me Doink.
So for all those collegiate aspiring economists out there an interesting post I got from Young Miriam (Young Miriam is a chemistry student (if I remember correctly) and is a Muslim that I wish more Muslims and women would emulate). Anyway, her post below;
(If you choose a hard science and input in a 5 for Scholarly quality and then ask it to display things like %female or the like, the red-green corellations are most amusing.)
Thursday, November 17, 2005
Seems I am now the subject of a psychological study in a crafty idea created by Jacqueline's Ma.
Anyway, for those of you familiar with JMPP, she's back from Costa Rica, has herself a boyfriend and lord knows what else. The girl moves.
So aspiring psychologists and psychiatrists, even though your field is complete BS and if it were up to me we'd tax you guys at 100% and fund social security with it, try your hand at diagnosing bloggers!
Thus, I found this chart from The Economist particularly interesting;
"OHHHH the correction is coming.
Your home equity ain't strumming.
All you idiots that took out second home equity loans to buy SUV's
Will have the repo man take that your home and your TV's
Ohhhhhh you stupid Americans."
Monday, November 14, 2005
Based on the past 20 years of economic growth, I estimate in another 6 years or so China will have the world's largest economy.
But we'll have sociology majors and peace study majors and American Idol and Desperate Housewives and the Jenny Craig Point System? Right? I mean at least we'll still have all that!
Then again, that's if you believe the economic figures China is releasing.
Sunday, November 13, 2005
To reiterate the stupidity of those Argentinian protestors.
And to add to that, I must put in the original a post made regarding this. "Eagle Eye" Seanchile noticed the signs were in Portugese, indicating this is actually Brazil. Good catch. He also pointed out something I forgot about Argentina. His post in below.
I think those are actually Brazilians (the signs are in Portuguese). However, very similar or even identical (Spanish) signs were being hoisted by protestors in Argentina (it's pretty ironic calling Bush a Nazi when YOUR country welcomed a large number of Nazi fugitives after WWII). I definitely agree (with you).
1. Happiness isn't all about money.
2. GDP or Income per capita isn't an effective measure of standards of living.
3. I just don't believe the data.
4. George Bush sucks.
Well, at least you can knock out two of these 4 mainstay arguments of the left. Many thanks to Sunrunner 4 for this spiffy chart;
The research was done by professor Richard Easterlin of southern California. He seems pretty happy, but that's because he's an economist and we economists always have chicks chasing us.
I suppose I am to take from this graph that all Republicans today want slavery as there must be a correlation between voting patterns in 2004 and slave legality in 1862. I guess I'm supposed to also forget the fact that it was the Republican party that waged a civil war to free slaves. But that's just what I'm guessing.
The irony here is that no doubt the majority of Berkeley academians voted down the California proposition last week to require teachers work 5 years before they get tenure. Last I recall California was ranked 46th in the country in terms of education and accounts for a plurality of our population.
Friday, November 11, 2005
Sometimes I wonder if there’s enough bullets to slay all the idiots in the world. And then I wonder even if I had enough bullets, do I have enough life expectancy left to deliver a bullet into each idiot’s skull? I mean think about that, that’s a serious undertaking requiring at least some consideration of the logistics behind an operation like that. Slaying all the idiots in the world.
Oh well, guess I’ll just blog about it instead.
OK, last time here people. I don’t know about you, but I’m getting mighty sick and tired of the suburbanite kids too lazy to major in something worthwhile, whose only skill it seems is to regurgitate the talking points that were spoon fed to them in their indoctrination at the local university whilst they pursue a degree that shields them from any real work and responsibility whilst their Daddy dimes their education for them.
Ran into one of their numbers at a local bar last night complaining about (who other than…)
“Yeah, man, like it’s the US oil companies that are keeping the prices high and making us pay for it!” said the skinny, goatee wearing wimp who can only attract women who could beat him at his table. Of course he says it loud enough so that those of us who aren’t as ignorant as he is knows what he thinks. And what person isn’t concerned about what a 20 year old college student thinks. I mean, come on, they’re our future.
So I’m going to do everybody a favor. I’m going to put it to rest where the power lies in terms of “big oil.”
It’s not Exxon Mobil.
It’s not Chevron Texaco.
It’s not even our British big oil rival, BP.
It’s the multitude of (take note leftists) STATE OWNED ENTERPRISES of the OPEC nations and Russia that wield the most control over oil prices.
Now to make a pretty picture for you and to make it all nice and clear I’ve taken the top 20 oil producing firms in the world and made this pretty little chart for you;
Notice your much hated US big oil firms each have a whopping one percent of the total oil reserves in the world.
Now, I know this may be confusing for you to add up 1 and 1 because you went to the public schools and were taught by idiots like this goatee wearing wimp who no doubt majored in education because he thought everybody should share in his wisdom, so what I did is I simplified the chart so that it is broken down between US and Non-US oil firms.
Notice “BIG US OIL” controls all of 2% the oil in the world (and this is not including the bevy of minor players not included in the top 20).
Now, let’s put on our thinking caps and let’s try really, really hard. Almost as hard as the kids in the special education programs in the public schools try to drool on their own along with members of the teacher’s union (sorry, budget battle going on in the Minnesota legislature this week, guess whose asking for more money).
Who is most likely to have control over the price of oil and who is most likely to really just be a transportation, refining and distribution company?
You see with 98% control of the world's oil reserves...ah, heck. Forget it. The left is going to believe what it wants.
Went out with what amounted to the most interesting person I've meet in about 8 years.
She was a Vietnamese immigrant who escaped the communists in 1975. Among MANY other things, what I was particularly impressed with was how quickly she adapted and pursued the American dream.
Now 30 years later she is a doctor in optometry providing one heck of an upbringing for her children. By the end of our conversation I literally could not be more impressed.
Anyway, long story short, she complained about how immigrants come to this country not wanting to pursue the American dream, but basically just for the money. I was a bit shocked, knowing that SOME of the immigrants do that, but didn't think it was that widespread. I said, "Are you sure."
Oh yes, she was.
And it reminded me of something that I thought of when running one time.
There's nothing special about our dirt.
You see aspiring or current immigrants, in America, our dirt is the exact same as the dirt in your home country. There's nothing special about it.
What makes America special and great is freedom. What makes America great is democracy. What makes America great is the mix of laws, people, society, history and culture that is "American."
It other words, it's the people that make a country great, not the dirt.
This is why we're great.
The question is why did your home country suck?
And while some of you were escaping communists and dictators and the suckiness of your country was out of your control, there is no denying that a country is only as great as its people. And if you insist on bringing your bad habits to this country (say like female genital mutilation) and continue pursing the aspects of your culture that made your home country suck (wanting around for handouts from the government), you will never escape what you were running away from.
Thus, as a service to all aspiring immigrants I am going to provide you some advice. THis is advice you're not going to like to hear, but in the long run you'll appreciate it because then you will not suffer the same fate as the Arabs living in public housing in France.
1. NO COUNTRY BECAME GREAT WITH ITS PEOPLE LIVING OFF OF WELFARE. If you're here for the free ride, go to hell. Matter of fact, you'll already be there and you will also condemn your children to such a hellish lifestyle too.
2. Find out why America is great. Don't just believe that it is great and move your whole damn family here. Find out why first so that you may become part of that greatness.
3. The Democrats are not your friends. They want your votes so they can stay in power and will bribe you will benefits and welfare and free health care and housing. If this sounds too good to be true, it is, because this inevitably will turn into communism and you can talk to my Vietnamese friend about that.
4. The Republicans will let you fend for yourself and don't much care if you make it or not, but at least they're honest about it.
5. For God's sake, go to college and major in the sciences. Engineering. Math. Computers. This will make you more successful than your average white American counterpart because the majority of them major in crap (sociology, women's studies, philosophy).
6. Don't have more than 3 children. I don't care what your culutre says.
7. Rap and the ghetto hip-hop lifestyle is a farse. Make sure your kids don't fall into it in school. Matter of fact, if you can afford it, send your kids to private school.
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Now, I have an anal retentive socialist friend who in his many feeble and failed attempts to debate me always reverts to his last ditch, desperate argument that socialists always resort to when they're getting their asses handed to them by a capitalist machine gunning them down with empirical data;
I don't believe. You didn't source the data.
Now, most people would accept what I've posted here as true as I cited the OECD. Most people would say, "Oh, the OECD. Reputable organization. And given he was looking for oil information in Norway the context of this research wasn't biased to find out why women make less than men."
But no, this SOB wants the exact URL and then should that URL change over the years, he wants it changed too.
So here it is you anal rententive putz;
Now, as I was saying, this argument that women make less because of sexism and blah blah blah, is largely one to benefit women unfairly painting them as a victim (which seems to be a popular tactic by the left nowadays). Just some more information to show you why I don't bother listening to those idiots.
Also, note Ireland (IRL).
Again people, economics is not that hard. The harder and smarter you work, the more wealth you have. And damn could I go for a redheaded Irish girl with a doctorate in economics and an aptitude in playing Halo.
Saturday, November 05, 2005
I'm also wondering if we're going to have to go in their and save their asses for the 3rd TIME IN A CENTURY!
Come on guys, haven't we paid back our debts for your help in the Revolutionary War?
Oh, and is this yet ANOTHER instance of muslims not getting along with their neighbors?
This post is for two groups of people;
1. College age youths, because the economic lesson is worth listening to.
2. Twenty something chicks that wish NOT to become like their pissed-off, psycho 30-something predecessors.
I had gone into my day time gig early one morn because I had some work I needed to do. This more or less gave me my choosing of the best parking spot in the entire parking lot.
3 hours later a friend of mine comes upstairs to chat with me and my other co-workers.
She says, "What's that rollerskate doing in my parking spot?"
"Rollerskate?" I asked.
She said, "Yeah, that Volkswagen piece of crap you have." referring to my 1996 Volkswagen.
I was previously under the impression she did not have a car because she commuted. So I asked her, "I thought you didn't even have a car. I thought you commuted."
"HELLO??? I have a 2003 Monte Carlo SS!"
I said, "So why do you commute?"
"HELLO??? GAS PRICES???"
Now, contextual knowledge you do not have to this story is that my friend commutes 1 hours 15 minutes a day ONE WAY. So, being a an economist, or heck, just being a logical normal thinking human being, I asked,
"Why don't you move closer to work?"
"HELLO??? Property prices are too high?"
Now, being a property owner in Minneapolis and a landlord as well, I know that there is a glut of rental property in the Twin Cities market. And while prices may be high, we are in a property bubble because the plausible rents of those properties would not warrant such lofty valuations. Thus with the over supply of rental property in the Twin Cities I said,
"Well, there's a glut of rental units in the Twin Cities. Certainly you should be able to find yourself an affordable apartment."
"HELLOOOO??? I don't want my kid being raised in an apartment building."
Now, contextual knowledge you do not have to this story is that my friend just had herself a child. And children in this office are considered holy because not only do the women have pictures of their children up, but pictures of the other womens' children up at their desks. And I am literally considered by many in this group to have mental problems because I do not want children.
Also, contextual knowledge you do not have to this story is that my friend is approaching her 30th birthday.
Thus, when the "mother hen" of our group (who is this sweetheart of a woman) asked her, "So, you're approaching the big 3-0. Are you where you'd like to be in life by now?"
My friend said, "No, I was thinking that I'd have more kids by now, but I'm just married with 1."
So here's my question, and tell me if I'm wrong. But why the hell is my car a piece of crap and why the hell is there something wrong with me for not wanting to have children?
If I am not mistaken, here in front of me is a woman who is proud of not only her car, but her son as well, and wishes to have more.
But at the same time, wanting these THINGS (yes, the child I am categorizing now as a "thing") hampers her lifestyle and forces a lower standard of living upon her.
And I'm supposed to believe that this is the life she wants? Or that she is happy?
Thus, I speculate (as I have before) that the majority of women who have children do so only for biological and instinctual reasons. They don't THINK. And therefore when the economic realities of having children dawn on them, they have a choice;
Realize the mistake I've made
RATIONALIZE the "choice" I've made.
This results in what I think constitutes the majority of women. Whereas previously they were independent minded, individuals with dreams and goals and desires and plans. Now they are beholden women to children (and cars or material items they can't afford). And rather than face up to their mistake and suffer a blow from reality, they deny reality and ACT like they're happy. And not only that, they go so far as to constantly pummel me with pro-child propaganda and some even berated me for not fawning over their children and saying nice things to them whenst in the office (even though this would be pointless as most of the children at the age of 1 ARE NOT FLUENT IN ENGLISH!!!) Worse still, I get the impression some of them hate me, for on Monday morning when we recap what we did on the weekend I say,
"Well, I went dancing, had some martini's, had a spectacular dinner at my favorite Italian joint, slept in till noon each day, had a date, got a little play, played video games, worked on the house, and had 100% of my time to me"
and they say,
"Little Johnny puked and we took him to the hospital at 3AM. Then I had to get back and make a crappy dinner because we can't afford to go out and eat at good restaurants. We stayed in and watched the game but we wanted to go to a movie, but we couldn't find a baby sitter, and then we had to get up this morning at 5AM to get here today."
So here's the economic lesson of the day for all you college youths. You have a choice when it comes to cars;
1. Buy a cheap, but reliable used car and then live where you want, eat where you want, have a short commute, have no car payment, have minimal car insurance and have money left over to invest in property or stocks or something or...
2. Buy a brand new car fresh out of college and be a slave to the car payments until you're 30 and be forced to live far away from any sort of metropolitain culture.
And for you 20 something women who think your life is meaningless unless you have a child;
Do not have children just because everydody else does. Go and live your life and figure out what YOU want to do. Do you like animals? Well become a vet first, then have children. Do you like hiking? Well become a forest ranger first and then become a mother. Whatever it is you like to do, please do it before you become like everybody else. For I cannot tell you how drab and boring and common and how quick-lived a date is with a girl that says, "well, I have 2 children and I love them, they're the best children in the world. Ooops! I have to leave, the baby sitter is only paid till 10PM."
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to live my horrible life. I have to go to dinner at a nice Italian restaurant where I'll meet some students before we go dancing at one of my favorite jazz venues. No doubt I'll have a martini, and might even meet a cute girl tonight. Either way I'll be getting home around 1AM to drift off for 10 hours of uninterrupted sleep with no particular responsibilities tomorrow. Although I might play some video games before I go to bed and finish off that great pasta I got last night that's in the fridge.
I just need to find a baby sitter...OH! Wait, that's right. I don't have children. I can "just go."
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
She doubted Tigger was an economist and thus I posed my theory, which turned out better than I had anticipated;
Well, it’s a well-kept secret that in the evening Tigger would moonlight on the side as an economist.
You ever wonder how all those animals could just go about looking for honey or bouncin’ without ever having jobs? And Roo, the single mother, how she got by without alimony or child support? And Eeyore! The donkey is so depressed all the time, you know he ain’t holding down a job. Kind of seems like “Friends” where nobody’s working, but they all don’t seem to be missing a meal.
Well Tigger was the financial engine behind that. You see, he was a savvy investor and established a Winnie the Pooh Mutual Fund with a loan from Christopher Robin’s dad who was an investment banker. Well Tigger knew about indexed P/E ratios and market inference pricing techniques, so he was able to sell out of his tech positions before the crash in 2000.
But what was Tigger’s real stroke of genius was that he was able to see that a slowing economy would lower long term interest rates, which would then lead to a housing boom. He gambled that despite the terrorist attacks and stock market crash, the economy would have endured these temporary hurdles in the long run due to massive restructurings in the early to mid 90’s and the investment in technology infrastructure.
So what did he do? He swapped out all his holdings in technology and invested in REIT’s based here in America.
I think now, Tigger is slowly moving his position from property into developing markets, namely China. I think he’s betting on an inevitable free float of the Yuan.
Whatever the case, with such wise investments, Pooh, Piglet, Rabbit and the whole gang life off of the dividend income from the Winnie the Pooh Mutual Fund.But that’s just what I’ve heard
Monday, October 31, 2005
The field trip was what taught me the very Captain Capitalism Lesson of the Day;
That I should have been born in 1920.
For the field trip was a costume party dance in scenic Hamel, Minnesota where the "Rockin' Hollywoods" a 1950's and 1960's coverband played the night away. Of course the VAST majority of people there were Baby Boomers and older. And my costume only served as a catalyst because it was a 100% vintage US Army Air Corps uniform from WWII.
And yes, I did look damn sexy.
The problem was that the few girls my age there wouldn't give me the time of day. I ask three girls to dance, all of which said no.
But there was a line as long as the social security queue of middle aged women looking me up and down, complimenting me and sometimes outright saying crass and lewd things! And I was shocked, SHOCKED I tell you, for I am a preacher's son and have these virgin ears.
Anyway, I left scenic Hamel and went to a party, and there the catalyst powers of my uniform ended, for this party was populated with more people my age, particularly a cute redhead that I haven't had a hard time looking at yet. And aside from the normal comments about "hey, nice costume" what few advances I made were more or less repelled. I may as well have dressed in blue jeans.
Home started calling and my couch was beckoning me so I left the party and went to bed.
Now today, Halloween proper, I had to go to the office, and there it is populated with mainly middle aged women. And without the booze supplied to their Hamel counterparts, their commentary was much more polite, but sincere and you could tell they were actually impressed that their friendly neighborhood capitalist cleaned up a bit.
The moral of the story; modern day chicks don't dig classy dudes. You could be Cary Grant in a major's uniform and they'd shug their shoulders and say, "eh."
Alas, there was one gal that dressed somewhat 40's which made for a good "Very Cappy Cap Halloween Picture."
So wishing you and yours a very happy Halloween. Feel free to e-mail your costume pictures and I'll throw them up here.
Saturday, October 29, 2005
"Who can it be knocking at my door?
Stay away, don't come round here no more."
Or so the lyrics go.
Alas, 3 teenage girls beheaded in Indonesia.
Now, for 40 points and a chance at the Grand Prize, tell me who are the primary suspects;
a) Black Southern Baptists
b) White Protestants
c) Pakistani and Indian Hindus
d) Small Penis'ed Muslim Freaks
I will promptly remove this post once it is proven not to be "d"
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Like you need to go to school for that.
The idiocy of these people. No, can't just go and practice on your own which is what will make you great.
No, you have to pay a s-load of money for a crappy degree to turn out tripe like this.
USA Today, I'll be expecting to see you in the check out line at the grocery store right next to Soap Opera Digest and People Magazine.
You verminous scum.
Same thing with Germans, the French and Italians.
Some of them think that somehow globalization and foreign competition is an "option."
Their stupidity rivals that of the unions in America who have bankrupted the airlines and put the US auto industry on their death bed.
My favorite quote in the whole thing is;
"The struggling economies of France, Italy and Germany worry that low-paid Poles will bring capitalist-style competitiveness that will jeopardize the welfare state"
Oh, don't worry about it. It's going to happen. The question is whether you can deal with it.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
1. Why the hell with all the years of evolution and the obvious brains to fly in V-formation are the Canadian geese flying NORTH? It occured to me, particularly this year they're flying north most of the time. Are they hooking up to some jet stream that will inevitably head south? Any fowl experts out there let me know.
2. I'm mightily peeved at the men in the SE metro. I got, not 1, not 2, but 8 EXTRA FREAKING GIRLS in the dance class. 6 of which are married!
OK, look, guys, WTF? You married the girl, can you please sign up for the damn dance class with them to make them happy? I am amazing, but I can't handle 8 extra women at one shot that's why I have to bring my male friends to help me...and dont worry, these younger, stronger and better looking men will be more than happy to look after your wives. But seriously, it's always been an internal debate with me whether or not I would have an affair with a married woman. I cannot see how this would reflect any immorality on my part. Either the guy ain't paying her any attention or the girl is being philanderous. In either case, I can't see how it's my fault, yet that being said I'd just prefer not to get into the mess.
Furthermore, if the institution of marriage meant anything, I'd respect it. Now, it's almost like high school. Get married for two years, ehh, heck, get divorced. I might as well respect that as much as the girl in college you had a boyfriend overseas, wouldn't go out with me, but then managed to bang the guy immediately after I asked her out.
Time for sleep. 80 hours of continual contribution to GDP this week.
Monday, October 24, 2005
Made an overdue visit to her site and found an interesting chart.
She is rather adamant in her disgust with children. That being said, it seems I only have to wait another decade and a half by the time women my age start to get wise and not have children.
Sunday, October 23, 2005
And while I've yet to see statistics on the "urgent conference" or "women's lunch time habits" put out by the Bureau of Labor Statistics, I will concur that I've experienced similar things in my past work history, albeit anecdotally.
Still, I don't know one woman who has come close to matching my longest work day; 42 hours.
Whereas I can name 3 other men who have.
But again, I'm sure this is anecdotal too.
Was an ingenius idea of mine to put a $25 bounty up for the best chart submitted by a CC reader thereby allowing me to focusing on work and busy season. Alas JTapp seems to be the only one who submitted one.
I leave the competition open for the next week.
JTapp can go unchallenged and win the $25 and the much coveted picture of Cpt. Capitalism in a fine Goodwill purchased picture frame.
I mean, there you are, working hard, with your hands, making something for yourself to live in or enhance your current living.
I know when I put together my bar and martini lounge in the basement I kind of sat back with a little bit of pride once it was done.
Anyway, the Happy Carpenter has long had me linked to his site and since I'm caught up with a lot of work I'm linking to all those worth a visit. Has some interesting candid photos of "Looter" the famed celebrity of New Orleans not to mention an eclectic mix of, uhhh....eclectic stuff.
Why I'm in "Tuesday's Whitie Tiddies" I don't know.
One of those things is to study up on central Asia and Middle Eastern history. Very weak in that area and since it's one of the craddles of civilization I know I'm missing out on much.
Enter Cenk Sumbas
Guy highlights some of the more interesting things in that world I know so little of. Recommends books that are recommendable. If I ever get the time to pursue central Asian history, Cenk shall be the launch point.
Of course, the people who have this observation all have a common trait I've found in that their lives have been a relative cake walk.
Did they ever drop 30 pounds because they couldn't afford 3 meals a day and had a physically exhausting job?
Did they become a real adult at the age of 18 meaning they supported themselves completely and could claim they'd be in the same situation as they are today had their parents died and left them nothing?
Did they ever know the meaning of poverty and have to live in a room that rented for $179 a month to make ends meet?
I've often found it a losing proposition to try to convey struggle and strife to them, because unless you've been through it yourself, it's impossible to convey it to other people. And so I largely shut up and hope the imminent economic chaos and collapse that is sure to strike us in the next 20 years will give them a dose of reality and vindicate my cynicism and "anger." Of course, by that time, what will it really matter.
That being said, it's nice to know that I'm not the only cynical bastard out there.
Welcome The Mad Doctor.
His blog, Universe on the Couch, is kind of a sounding board I use to make sure that somebody outside the economics profession sees what I see and to make sure I'm not crazy.
He shares the same dismal hopes for America and I'm predicting he shares the same disdain for the Baby Boomer generation that I do as his latest post is pointing towards that.
Alas, it seems to me the good doctor footed his own bill through college and wasn't spared any of the lessons from the school of hard knocks.
Visit the good Mad Doctor when you have a chance.
Saturday, October 22, 2005
Truth is a great thing.
Like for example, you’re really not going to insult anybody by calling them a “nooney-head.”
The person would look at you knowing full well they aren’t indeed a nooney-head, simply because there is no such thing as a nooney-head.
But call a fat woman fat
Or a hen-picked man his "wife’s bitch"
Or a women’s studies major who still lives off her dad as “dependent”
Woo Hoooooo! Look out.
And you see, that’s the trick. Pay attention young aspiring economists. Take notes. If you really want to hurt somebody, or obliterate them in debate, all you have to do is point out the truth.
For example I was courting a crazy woman quite some time ago. And during a "Cosmo-Mag Inspired Argument" I needed something that would obliterate the opposition by showing her just how crazy she was.
Well, I couldn’t very well say, “Hey, woman, you be crazy, you crazy person you.”
You see, that wouldn’t do it.
But when I said,
“Hey, at least I digest my food”
that had more of a crushing, end-all, obliterating effect for she was a bulimic.
The result, she was silent, and I had made my point. For how can you refute the truth?
Thus, it must really be tough being a leftist. And I’m not talking the “I’m leftist because it’s COOL because all the kids are democrats and green party members in college cause I’m going to change the world cause I don't know what the f I'm talking about” leftist.
I’m talking the hard core, zealots. The true believers in socialism.
For year over year, day by day, second by second, evidence of socialism’s failure just keeps on racking up and trillions of dollars’ worth of evidence that capitalism is indeed the optimal economic system racks up as well.
Or should I say, “Tens of trillions of yuans’ worth” for China is that evidence.
Of course, that’s assuming the leftists out there bother to pay any attention to economics, data, statistics, etc., outside their own cherry-picked data. Heck, I’d be happy if they had data instead of theories, concepts and feelings.
“Well, you see, I just don’t believe GDP is a great measure of standards of living. It doesn’t take into consideration happiness. You know, Europeans are much happier than Americans. They prefer leisure to more money, and just look at our society, it sucks, we’re not as enlightened as them and I feel that America’s children are…” blah blah blah.
OK, so let me explain it to you leftists out there nice and simple so even you public schooled kids can understand;
Europe’s economy sucks.
There was a big study done just this past month called, “The Big Study Done This Month on Whether or Not Europe’s Economy Sucks” and it had all the great economic minds in the world attend it. If you never heard of this study it’s because you are not a great economic mind and weren’t invited. And what we (I was there) concluded is that with unemployment rates at double the US’ and GDP growth rates of less than 1% and debt up to the wazoo as well as social security programs that make us look stingy, no amount of intangible “good happy touchy feely Human Development Indexy” leisure could make up for the economic gap.
Of course we did take out central Europe and the Baltics because “they don’t count” because they’re not really European. They do that weird ass “flat tax” BS and that ain’t European at all!
Anyway, back to my point about China.
So China was once a very commie place and Mao Tse Tung was happy and the people were happy, for DAMNIT, if they weren’t, they’d be shot…or just starved to death in one of dem der “Great Leaps Forward.”
Implementing every leftist idealistic economic policy that their modern day Move-On.org counterparts would love to implement.
Aawwwww. But it didn’t seem to help much.
Now the “communists” of China are marching to a slightly different tune. The privatized property. They allowed for private companies. They opened their borders to investment. And they actually have lower taxes than the US on corporations (and please don’t give me no guff on loopholes). In otherwords, they let a private sector exist and look what happens.
A country that only 20 years ago was a third world nation, is now solidly second world nation, and has an economy when adjusting for PPP that is larger than Japans.
And who do they owe all this growth and production to?(BTW, this chart is from The Economist, where most cool charts come from)
Why the private sector…which last I checked was a very capitalistic thing.
So, you leftists, you keep on telling yourself the world is flat, pregnant women are beautiful, Julia Roberts is attractive and socialism works.
When the Chinese are kicking our asses and out-competing us because they have a harder work ethic, send their kids into engineering and incentive their people to work harder, don’t complain when our jobs are undercut because everything is going over seas…oh, wait, it already has.
(This post written in fond memory of all the union jobs lost at Northwest Airlines and soon to be the Ford Ranger plant in St. Paul. Keep up the good work unions!!!!!)
Friday, October 21, 2005
2. OK, so I figured out an ultimate poetic justice scenario. The unions and their "legacy costs" (read pensions for old, retired union members) have renders their employers uncompetitive against their foreign and immigrant labor competitors. So as a way to help employ all those laid off union members from Northwest Airlines, United, and soon to be Delphi, GM and Ford, I have the perfect job for them;
But not any normal bounty hunters. Illegal immigrant bounty hunters.
We put a bounty of $1,000 for every illegal immigrant. The recently laid off union workers whose jobs were eliminated by cheap foreign labor (overseas or illegally domestic) can get training in bounty hunting and recoup their lost wages by hunting down those who are partially responsible.
It's a TV reality show in the making.