Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Americans are Too Weak to Handle This

I seriously doubt we will have the stomach to handle the inevitable decline in housing prices.

And then I seriously doubt whether we'll be able to continue borrowing money from the equity in our houses so that we can spend more than we make falsely propping up this economy...


And then I seriously doubt whether we'll be able to handle the recession that will ensue due to drastically slowing consumer spending...

And then I really seriously doubt we'll be able to handle really bad timing that this recession should hit once the Baby Boomers start to retire and put a further strain on our economy.

But then again, I'm just a dumb economist. What do I know?

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Al "Calvin Klein" Greenspan

No economics lesson to pull from this, other than to show all of you doubting Thomases what studs we economists truly are. Not only are we capable of running regressions and using the entire greek alphabet in a formula (with absolutely NO NUMBERS mind you), little did you realize we are on the cutting edge of fashion.

12 is the new 11.

Monday is the new Sunday.

And Greenspan is the new Klein.

Don't believe me? Well just look at this!

Sportin' a maroon colored business casual shirt with a "green" tweed overcoat for GREENspan (huh, get it, huh, HUH? The pun?)

I mean, I must really apologize to all you ladies out there. As if the economics profession and its professionals weren't heart throbbing enough, as if you weren't tortured enough by only being able to look, but not touch such low hanging, but forbidden fruit. Now we gotta lay this down on ya, that we're fashion models as well.

Will the world ever know and more sexy and dashing person than the economist?

I doubt it.

Monday, September 19, 2005

More Plausible than Moore

So in a previous post I said that the left was obscurely to blame for the high oil prices. I then cited environmental regulations and environmentalists requiring a bevy of different grades and detergents be added to the gasoline and then also the minor issue of refining capacity being choked by enviro-freaks.

I said this was a little more plausible than Michael Moore's contentions that Bush is a terrorist and he knew and blah blah blah.

Well, make it a lot more plausible. For while in the past high oil prices were brought on by supply shocks induced by OPEC, this current spat is brought on by demand from China and the US. And with the world's two largest economies growing at full steam, it should be no surprise that when you don't build new refineries to keep up with demand, prices will go up.

To paraphrase the South Park kids "They killed the economy!" "YOU BASTARDS!"

Sunday, September 18, 2005

OK, Fine, Win $25 Then

OK, it seems that $5 of my money is not enough. And since I'm a lazy guy I've upped the winnings to $25 to whoever comes up with the best chart.

The rules are:

1. Create or find a chart you think will be the best.
2. E-mail it to me at captcapitalism@yahoo.com
3. I will post it here and the best chart by the time I get around to concluding the competition, wins.

Now get off your lazy asses and send me charts! Especially all you teachers that read this blog. $25 to some of your little rug rats is serious coin.

Friday, September 16, 2005

Favorite Charts of 2005 - Opportunity Does Not Knock

Children, again, as we all know, which is blantantly obvious, and proven by scientists at NASA are;


And I'd like to say "they're evil primarily because..."

But there are so many reasons that one of them standing alone would be enough to convince a jury that they are evil.

Among these are disease transmission, loss of sleep, loss of friends, you don't own your own life any more, they could be born deformed and put you in the poor house, they could grow up to become a mass murderer, the legal liability of having one, having to discipline it then getting sued because you spanked a child, bring a child into today's world is just making them slaves to social security and medicare and the rest of the social programs that go to lazy bums.

But the biggest reason is their cost.
Pure 100% extract o' evil.

Memorable Charts of 2005 - Chart 1

One of my favorite charts in 2005 was this one.

It shows you just how drastic and epic WWII really was and furthers my belief that today's generations (Baby Boomers and Gen X-ers) have no clue what it means to sacrifice and suffer...and it also makes me work on my magical time machine where I can go back to 1940 and hit on them classy 40's dames.

The Force is Strong with this One

Well I must tip my hat.

It takes a lot to impress me with charts, but it seems our punk rockin', business majoring, aspiring Economic Jedi Knight, Cpt. Mike has managed to do just that. And in one swift parry of his light saber has managed to destroy the fallacy that somehow global warming brought Katrina to our southern shores.

But what is particularly impressive is he made his own chart.

See kids, take note. It's one thing just to pilfer a chart from some place (which of course I do when I'm short on time), but to really impress the chicks, you gotta make your own charts.

No doubt Cpt. Mike has several female skippers lusting after him after seeing that chart.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Right is Way Better Looking Than the Left

Truth. Lefter leaning sorts are less attractive than those of us of righter - leaning faiths.

And don't argue with me on this. They are. I've been watching, looking, and running an informal toll in my brain looking at those on the Right versus those on the left and I'm sorry, I'd rather court the fair lasses on the Right.

It orginally started when I saw the Wellstone Memorial on TV and the eclectic mix of college students, environmentalists socialists, etc., make complete asses of themselves and tip the senatorial battle to Norm Coleman. Within 48 hours I was at the Republican victory party at the Radisson in suburban Minnesota looking at a bevy of hot and fine ladies. And the looks battle could not have been more lopsided.

Ever since then I've been driving on the interstate, looking at people with Bush bumper stickers, versus Kerry bumper stickers. Bush yard signs versus Kerry yard signs. Support our troops decals, versus "Bush Lied, How Many Died" signs. Ann Coulter and Michelle Malkin versus...well...anybody.

And again, I say this not to be inciteful, but because it's true, I really think people on the Right are better looking folk than those on the left.

Now this could be for any number of reasons, but without pondering it much I have a sort of half-ass theory; Darwinism. Specifically, survival of the fittest.

You see, democrats do not like competition. They like fairness and a level playing field. Heck, they don't even like to play, they just like ties and we all go home winners. Republicans know better. Republicans know that competition and survival of the fittest is what governs the world. It's not how we'd like it, that's just how it is.

Don't believe me? Well no doubt you're a union member seeing your job being obsoleted by foreign competition and want the government to come in an protect your job (yet your loyalty to diversity and the global community runs contradictory to this...oh you poor confused leftists).

Anyway, in the competition for mating, you try to go home with the penguin with the poofiest chest. The cardinal with the brightest red. Of the man with the biggest....car. Either way, democrats fair badly in these categories on both sexes. The men are usually wimpy, skinny emasculated men who are in touch with their feelings and couldn't protect their family from an assailant if they wanted to. The women are (frankly) fat and not attractive and thus can only attract the bottom bracket of men.

There is also the element of income. Women are more attacted to men with larger....incomes. Why settle for the wiener who is a professional peace activist, living at home with his parents, when you can have the MBA graduate with a $70,000 a year job lined up. And as you make more money, people have a tendency to vote Republican more often because of the ass-raping they receive in the upper income brackets. Thus, the more attractive women can get a higher income, and thereby, more likely to be Republican guy.

The end result; the ideologies attractive different people based on how prone they are to engage in competition. And ugly people don't like engaging in competition, be it for mates or jobs in the shunned private sector. Alas, why you have not only ugly liberals, but the majority of liberals employed in sectors of the economy that require no competition; non-profit, government, charities, academia.

Either way, more proof for my theory came in the mail yesterday when the Minneapolis democrats sent in the mail their list of preferred candidates. I don't have a scanner, but I went online and put together a mural of their "beauty" queens and kings. Sure, there's a couple good looking people in there, but most are ugly.

I shall point out a couple other things, for they seem to be consistentcies across the left;

The women wear those glasses that just scream "LIBERAL." I don't know if it's the glasses or that they're all fat and the cheecks combined with glasses give it the liberal effect.

The men look gay. I mean this not as an affront to gay people. I like gays. I'm for gay marriage. It's just usually they men aren't gay, they're just feminine.

Every guy in this picture I could take in a fight in their prime, except for the old guy. He seems to be an old-school democrat who might have played some football and worked in the private sector.

Not one girl in this picture would I sleep with, even in their prime, and even if I was paid a tidy sum.

Anyway, yes, blanketing statements across the board. But I'll see if I can scrounge up the Republican ones and do a comparison.

Saturday, September 10, 2005

For Bucktown, BradMan, and all the Other Horn Dogs Out There

I have implemented a new policy.

It was requested some time ago that I post a picture of a knock out babe I had gone out with a couple of times. I of course held reservations about throwing some girl's mug up on the internet to have a bunch of hormone crazed econo-types drool over her. That and I date a fair amount.

But two things have convinced me otherwise;

1. While I banter about my exploits in dancing and chatting up the ladies, I have now received several e-mails contesting my looks and my ability to get a hot girl. That indeed I am a nerdy economist who is ugly and cannot possibly attract the type of girls I am describing. That being an economist and dating a hot babe are mutually exclusive events.

Oh yeah, well I'll show you! I'll defy the laws of physics!

2. As with most courtships, they end and do not end up in marriage. The girl bails, stands you up, there ain't no chemistry, you talk too much, she talks too much, etc. Whatever the case, if the game is over, it's over and as long as their identity is kept anonymous and the picture is tactful, I see no reason not to grant you loyal-reading-econo-pervs (just kidding guys!) your wish.

So here's the latest, the "Russian Babe" as she were. Sweet kid, nice girl, very intelligent, just chalk up the failure to forces outside my control. Regardless, American women could learn a thing or two from her.

The Germans are Coming

Entry #1, our good friend Daniel from Germany;

Just read about your chart thingie, and me likey.. like some sitcom dude would say. My chart proposal is the 1 year frame of the German DAX index. My reason for why this is the best chart: "Who thought Old Europe couldn't outperform anybody?" This may be a bit simplistic, but nevermind.. ;-)

Thursday, September 08, 2005

One More Time for the Oil Idiots


It seems that there is still some confusion as to what's causing high oil prices.

So I'm gonna break it down nice and easy so that everybody can understand.

And if after this explanation, you still insist on believing that it's a conspiracy, that it's Big Oil and GW and Haliburton, well then there's nothing I can do for you, for you really don't care to know what the truth is, you just want to bitch and whine because you get some kind of psychotic kick out of it.

So here it is people;

The Top 7 Reasons Why Gas Prices are So High

  1. China’s booming economy demands oil.
  2. America, the largest economy in the world, is booming, which demands oil.
  3. The world, global GDP growing at 3.8%, demands oil.
  4. Refining capacity has been limited here in the US primarily due to environmental regulations and activism.
  5. The multitude of local government regulations requiring a whole host of detergents, additives, etc., be added to the gas makes refining hundreds of grades of gas somewhat costly.
  6. Gas taxes.
  7. A weak dollar.
I have spoken.

Debit Cards for Strip Clubs?

Let it be officially known that I can’t really muster up a care about the people of New Orleans. And while there are no doubt some innocents that were caught by the forces of nature and bad luck, the majority of them decided to live in a city that was below sea level…near the sea…and did not heed warnings or orders to leave the city. And now these idiots are costing me $2,000 per debit card.

Sorry for being so blunt and cold hearted, but sadly the reality is that life is that way too.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

The Highest Rank is Captain

There's Captain's Quarters. There's Captain America. There's Captain Captain Capitalism.

And then there's Captain Mike.

Captain Mike reminds me of Peter Griffin only because he goes to college in Connecticut. Now most people would say, "Yeah, but Peter Griffin lives in Quahog, Rhode Island." And you're right, but I don't know anybody in Connecticut. The closest person I know to Connecticut is Peter Griffin in Rhode Island.

Now anal-rententive idiots will say, "But Peter Griffin is a cartoon character and Captain Mike is a real person."

Yeah, well I don't know any real people in the North East period, so this is the best I got, deal with it.

Anyway, Captain Mike runs a pretty good blog. He's a ghetto college kid who probably listens to enough old school it might cost him a GPA point or two, but don't let the fashion fool you. He's more articulate than most college professors and provides entertaining insight to the epic battle being waged across America's campuses between the entrenched and established left and the revolutionary rebellious right.

Waiting for when the chicks notice the guys on the right are the real rebels.

Scott Stantis, Freaking Hilarious

OK, new favorite political cartoonist.

Scott Stantis.

Check his web site out because I don't have the time to upload all his cartoons here and I'm sure on some level it's illegal and the lawyers are currently filing a law suit against me and my massive deep-pockets blog operation.

Cindy who?

I wonder how the bitch is handling not only the loss of her son, but the loss of all the attention.

And I'm willing to bet when she's talking to her therapist it ain't about her son, but the sudden collapse of her 15 minutes of fame.

More Money for Less Work

I will continue to claim that public sector workers are not as efficient as private sector ones.

Oh, go and contest me if you want. But the biggest public sector employers, ie-communist economies, show that they are insanely incompetent at producing wealth.

Funny then that those in the public sector should get higher raises and pay than their private sector counterparts (in Britain anyway).

Alas, I contend employees of the public sector should pay and "inefficiency tax" in addition to their regular taxes.

Saturday, September 03, 2005

Some Good News and Some Bad News

I almost forgot.

The bad news is that my main day time gig has slowed down to the point that I'm looking at about 20 hours a week. This is during slow season, so I'm being driven slowly insane without any work (but is why you're getting such great posts and economic wisdom).

The good news is that I work a lot from home and my boss is cool enough that I'm now independently contracted.

The further good news is that (remember, this economy sucks now) I already found a job in a month of looking. God bless the US of freakin' A!

The uber good news is this combined with my consulting/dancing/fossil hunting that should start in a month, my old streamlined job and rental income, boo koo coin is coming in. It has never been better.

The bad news is that once this starts and I'm in busy season, this blog is going to suffer a severe lack of attention. So the posts are going to be a little more sparse and less verbose.

My apologies to the readership in advance.