Follow me on a journey if you will and assume we are zoologists. We do not care about people's emotions or feelings, yet nor do we have any ill-will or malice towards anyone. We're just going to make empirical observations in the human animal kingdom, much like Jane Goodall did with chimps. And from those observations derive some pretty important questions facing men, though by necessitous default, society.
Fire from My Six
I was on teh interwebz surfing social media because in today's world that's where I get most of my conversing and socialization. Naturally I have female friends and naturally they're not leftists, but this doesn't mean we all agree on everything. Some believe in a small welfare state. Some still defend their liberal arts degrees. And some, yes, are single mothers whose exs were indeed bad people.
But a trend I've noticed over the years was that despite these girls being true American women, true patriots, some even gun loving-, gun-tottin' rootin' tootin' 6 gun shooting gals, their relationship with men is not as clean cut as "traditional men good/soyboys bad." No doubt, we've all had bad experiences with the opposite sex, but at least some of these ladies' experiences must have been bad enough that some of their statements and positions have been, frankly, shocking to me.
One gal I know very much dislikes going out in public because of all the attention she gets. She's an attractive woman, but absolutely detests male attention. She doesn't hate men per se, but has a preemptive apprehension to men in public, in general.
Another, along a similar vein, is afraid to go out at night because she is worried that there's a man about to assault or rape her around the corner, though it has yet to happen. This isn't to say that preparation and self-defense are irrational, but this fear bothers her to the point it impairs her ability to enjoy life, and once again, resents men communally for it.
A third, is a 30 something virgin - whose virginity is too precious for any man yet to take. She eerily obsesses over it like Golem does his ring, which paints men in her mind in a distrusting light.
And a fourth is a friend who was sympathetic (though did not explicitly endorse) a post where the poster said men who mislead women about commitment should be prosecuted for sexual assault (a sentiment that was roundly supported by female commenters on the post).
It was these posts and comments like them that prompted my original thought piece about "what if women just don't like men." But the statement about equating misleading women about commitment to sexual assault AND prosecuting men for it, made me believe there was something more to it. An overly-retributive aspect I didn't understand. And so I got off my lazy ass and fleshed out a theory that's been kicking around my head. And that theory is society is moving the relationship between men and women to that of the black widow spider.
Four Ways to Get Women REALLY Pissed Off At Men
Though not necessarily conscious or by design, society has done four things that made women REALLY not like men...or at least not as much as they did in the past.
The first thing was breaking the traditional social contract the sexes had with one another and replacing men with the government. The simplified version is that men were traditionally responsible for the support and protection of women (and the family), but in being responsible for the family, they were also the final arbiter of all decisions. They were the head of the household, and the wife was to support her husband, care for her husband, and ultimately abide by her husband's decisions.
Today, women no longer need men as they have the government, careers, or (more likely) a combination of both. And with divorce being common and acceptable, men have absolutely no authority over any marriage or relationship. It is completely voluntary.
But while this voluntaristic relationship seems much-improved in the eyes of women over the tyrannical traditional one, with no authority over women or what goes on in their household, men by logical consequence are are also free of any responsibility. They are free to do as they please. And men tend to not want to commit.
You get a girl pregnant? You don't have to stick around, the government will pay for it.
Your girl asking "where is this going?" Going "where" exactly? Marriage is completely out of date and obsolete. Besides you have your career and the government. You don't "need" me, this is a temporary relationship of convenience.
A girl wants you to settle down and only date her? Why exactly would you do that in 2021? To what end or goal?
And to further deter men from commitment, "marriage" - the ultimate form of commitment - has become an untenable and unconscionable contract. It is not only hugely risky for any man entering it, but has such a spectacular failure rate you would have to be a genuinely stupid person to enter it.
This would be fine and well as women (at least on paper) seem to be bowing out of marriage as well. But a quaint little 50 year sociology experiment does not undo 2 million years of human evolution. Even if a woman consciously and logically understands that her new relationship with the government obsoletes her need for a man, every cell in her nervous system, every strand of DNA is screaming at her to get a man to commit to her. And when her high powered career, masters degree, or government check does not scratch this biological itch, she takes out the crushing totality of this cognitive dissonance on the only and obvious culprit - those damn commito-phobic men.
The second thing is a by-product of the first. I am not arrogant enough to claim men don't need women. Men love women. Men want women. It's the #1 reason I was pulled from writing about economics and instead write about "the economics of the pursuit of women" for my largely male audience.
But if you take away women from men, exactly what do men have to strive for in life?
In the past men would go to incredible lengths to attract and ultimately get a girl. Men would fight each other, go to war, invent nearly every technological innovation, and create nearly everything you see under the sun in an attempt to attract a girl. But society has made it so difficult to pursue and attract a woman, that the pain and toil it would take to succeed in that endeavor is now more powerful than the male sex drive. And many men are simply giving up on this otherwise species-long pursuit (or admittedly swapping it out for porn).
This, of course, is none of my female-friends' fault. They did not vote for a welfare state that takes 40% of men's income. They did not vote to unnecessarily force men to go $120,000 in debt to get a masters degree before women even consider dating them. Nor did they vote for all this feminism that has essentially told men they aren't needed, need to operate at a handicap, and are the cause of all of women's problems. But what this hostile, essentially anti-male environment has done is resulted in now three generations of men giving up on life and achieving nowhere near their potential.
This angers women, because political and sociological causes aside, women want strong, capable, supporting men. They want manly men with real jobs, real incomes, who can throw a punch and protect the children. They want a man they can fall in love with, respect, and ravish them in bed. Matter of fact it's the only reason we're on this planet, and once again women's genetics are screaming this at them. So when society fails to deliver the quality, rugged, strong men women genetically and desperately want, women are denied their biological purpose and reason in life. Their fleeting short existence in this universe has been snuffed. And as a consequence THEY'RE PISSED! And while sitting down and figuring out the pathology of this lack of real men would lead women to a real solution, it is much easier instead to cathartically lash out at the men who have failed to meet their traditional expectations.
"Stop living at home!"
"Get a job!"
To which apathetic men ask "why," further raising the ire of women.
The third thing is the media. Whether that's the old time girl magazines of yore (like Cosmo, Teen, Vogue, etc.) or their modern day equivalents or Hollywood or Madison Avenue or the music industry, all of American (and I would argue western) media has is no uncertain terms LIED to women about what they're entitled to and should expect from men. All women of all political stripes are absolutely convinced they are not only entitled to a perfect man, but their Disney prince is just around the corner.
Further reinforcing this is the recent phenomenon of social media and online dating, where women are now plied with an infinite amount of digital (though not real world) attention falsely validating their delusional expectations. Podcasts such as Fresh and Fit and Kevin Samuels have made a mint prostrating delusional women making fools of themselves expecting a man who is 6 feet tall and makes $250,000 a year to date her single mom, debt-ridden, 38 year old ass. And even "The Female Delusion Calculator" was made to statistically lampoon women about their expectations not being in line with reality.
But that is the quickest route and definition of misery - the difference between expectations and reality. And with the media inflating women's expectations FAAAAAR beyond what reality can deliver, women are once again going to get INCREDIBLY pissed when
- yet another man sleeps with her, but doesn't commit because he's got a ton of other women
- some "loser plumber" asks her out thinking he's somehow at her level when she has a masters degree and she's insulted
- or some 5'10" asshole who doesn't make 6 figures asks her out at a coffee shop
The final thing is feminism. And once again my non-leftist female friends are not responsible for this, but feminism has simply thrown gasoline on this already raging fire. Dividing and pitting men against women has long been an aim of feminists and feminism going back to at least the 60's and nobody is happier because of it. But for any young woman looking for a whipping boy or a villain to blame her failing love life on, feminism has the largest and most comprehensive menu of reasons and rationales.
If anything, I'm incredibly impressed with the logical theorems feminism uses to ignore male nature and abdicate any responsibility women would have in a relationship with the opposite sex. They're actually incredibly crafty and intricate. But neither here nor there, because of feminism's "us vs. them" mentality, this just further cements the adversarial relationship women have with men, and in many women's minds paint men as the enemy.
You take these four things combined and it is actually quite understandable why women dislike, even hate men. And in that context, I can see why women on my presumed ideological side would make the statements they did. I don't agree with those statements, I can just see why they made them.
From Price to Punishment
I often receive criticism for saying that all relationships between men and women are transactional, meaning prostitution. And perhaps I'm too literal of an economist as ALL transactions are prostitutional. Everyone's a whore, everyone's a John. I pay for a sandwich, the sandwich maker makes me a sandwich. I'm the John, the sandwich maker is the whore.
But just as there's no shame in transacting money for a sandwich, I would also say there's no shame in transacting resources for sex because....(everyone put on their big girl panties and sit down, because things are about to get real y'all)
that's what humans have been doing since time immemorial.
Yes, traditionally this transaction was sanitized under the sanctity of marriage, the guise of love, the approval of religion, with the (logical, obvious, and moral) economic purpose of supporting a family. BUT MAKE NO MISTAKE ABOUT IT, the only reason the husband was there, let alone forked over a penny of support, was so he could fuck his wife. And you know something, there's nothing wrong with that.
Today, however, much like many other things, 2 million years of human tradition still spill over into our new and improved society. And though officially (and in reality) women do not need men, they still out of genetics, tradition, or even unconscious instinct demand some kind of price be paid for their presence.
Men still generally pay for the date. The lion's share of webcam income is from men to women. Sugar daddy sites exist. A VERY common theme I see from traditional/conservative gals is that they will NOT accept a coffee date, but demand an "investment" of at least dinner. Some guys I know even have women asking them to pay for their rent. And as an economist what I absolutely CHERISH is how prostitution is OK if you barter it through marriage (meaning you pay for a house, a car, a woman's student loans, only to get divorced, pay half and then alimony)
But the second you pay cash for a call girl
that's shameful and you should go to jail!
Regardless, the larger point is women still demand men pay some kind of price to interact with them, whether that's as something as simple as a date or half your worldly asset for something complex as marriage/divorce. And there is no shame in that as that's how it's genetically been for all of human history. But what concerns me is not that men have to pay a price to be with women, but in today's current environment where women are so angry with men, even hostile, any misleading, misrepresenting, violation, infraction or flaw, no matter how major or minor is not met with a mere price, but punishment. And now we have moved into Black Widow territory.
I Didn't Bat 1.000
Men today have to understand the precarious situation they're in. This is not the 1950's where Suzie Q was upset you didn't pick her up for the sock hop and instead saw you at the soda fountain with Peggy Lee, and then got pouty. Women today for the four reasons explained before are PISSED off at men. You throw in the victimhood ideology of feminism and they're blaming everything on you. So what would have been considered "normal-though-regrettable" behavior of men in the past, is viewed not only as a real crime against them, but one deserving of punishment.
For example, I broke up with two girls and curiously had my tires slashed shortly after breaking up with both of them.
I was punched in the face one time because I told a girl I wouldn't sleep with her again.
And (like many of you) I was subjected to temper tantrums of (presumably) full-grown adult women who threatened suicide. Once because I didn't offer to buy a girl a soda and the other because I honestly can't remember the reason.
But that's getting off easy. And having your tires slashed because you dared to dump a girl was par for course for men back in the 70's-90's. Today, it is much, much worse.
The spate of false rape accusations on college campuses several years back was largely because some guys had sex with some girls, but no longer wished to continue to date them. I know several men who (stupidly) asked women out at work which landed them in the HR department. If you remember, the comedian Aziz Ansari almost lost his career because he was simply guilty of being nerdy and awkward on a date once. And then there's the meetoo movement that, while it has its legitimate complainants, there are many more using it as a weapon of vengeance.
But what's more worrying is the measures society is taking to retroactively incriminate men of social crimes. There's a constant push to redefine what sexual assault and rape is. There is also a push to constantly redefine what consent means. And regardless of what you think about Brett Kavanaugh or Bill Cosby, it shows people are willing to go back many decades to get their pound of flesh. And here's the problem - neither you nor I nor any other guy batted a thousand, and certainly not under the new and increasingly scrutinizing standards.
Admittedly, I've never drugged a girl before or sexually assaulted anyone. But I have banged drunk chicks. I've made drunken and inappropriate advances to women. I tried to kiss a girl at a party once and got the cheek. I've also got a ton of cheeks on door stoops dropping girls off on first dates. And nearly every girl I dated I had no intention to committing to.
So under the forever-moving legal goal posts, will I be accused-and-found-guilty of:
And heaven help my latino friends who were always coping feels on the salsa dance floors of the 00's! Are we going to send an army of cops after them too?
And if we're going to be true equals does this mean I should hunt down the drunken old grandma lady who grabbed my junk during a dance class once 10 years ago? What about the handful of girls who got a handful of my ass on the dance floor just the same? Should we shoot them now or wait till we home?
Admittedly, I'm not a fan of modern day western women, but I don't hate them. And certainly not enough to wage a nazi-esque witch hunt after them.
Reason or React with the Black Widow
The sad fact is men will increasingly have to approach an increasing percentage of women as a black widow spider. You don't know who she is. You don't know her conditioning, her opinions, or experiences with men. You don't know whether she views you as a potential love of her life and source of happiness, or oppressor and adversary who must be punished. And whereas I'd like nothing more than to have a bit of good news or a bit of evidence that women like men, I won't lie - seeing this desire to tax, charge, and ultimately punish men from conservative (or at least non-leftist women) is really disheartening. Because if this is what girls "on our team" think, just what the heck do your rank and file women of today think of men?
Alas, men have two choices when it comes to interacting with women. You can try to reason with them or react.
Many of you will want to reason with them simply because you like them! You'll try to get them to realize you are not the enemy, that just because a guy lies about his income or age doesn't mean he should go to jail, and no, the national guard should not be called if a man puts his hand on your ass on the dance floor. But not only do I think such reasoning and discussion will fall on deaf ears, it puts the outcome outside of your control and into the hands of women. And sadly I think women are just too ideologically compromised towards punishing men.
This leaves reacting which is the only thing you can do. In the past millions of women met their husbands at work, now you have to react to the fact you could lose your job asking out Suzie in accounting. You could take that girl home and have a great night of sex, perhaps convincing the girl and yourself you're made for each other, but you bought her two drinks and and you don't like jail. You could ask that girl out in your sociology class, but according to campus rules that might be harassment and you'd get kicked out of school. And you would've liked to get married, but you're going to have to make it very clear she needs to have her own residence and you guys can date, but never commit nor share a web.
It was one thing when the worst that would happen is you'd get your tires slashed by a woman scorned. But today with jail time, a ruined career, a criminal record, and the ruined life that comes with it, we're just going to have to admit that relations are so bad between men and women we have devolved into black widow spiders.
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