Friday, August 22, 2008

Sex Causes Economic Growth

I was always curious what would happen to the economy if all of the sudden women decided to dolls themselves up in french maid or naughty librarian outfits and upon their husbands or boyfriends walking through the door started, ahem, "making with the bam bam."

My theory was this would make men much happier and trigger a productivity boost which would translate into economic growth. I then pondered being the president of the Federal Reserve and creating indices measuring the sales of french maid outfits as an economic indicator.

Regardless, I did inevitably get around to finding a "frequency of sex rate" and compared it to the average economic growth of about a score of OECD nations. And as I surmised, the correlation between the frequency of sex and economic growth is positive.

A correlation coefficient of .2 no less.

Now don't ask me to adjust for outliers. And don't ask me about the confidence interval. Just shut up and appreciate what we got here; Empirical, conclusive indisputable proof that sex causes more economic growth.

Alas, when I am president, there will not be any of this impotent "stimulus" package nonsense. I shall just merely decree a "Naughty Nurse" holiday.


Anonymous said...

Funny thing. I recently had a similar idea. I wanted to show a positive correlation between the length of womens' skirts and productivity growth. It seemed reasonable to me that men are distracted by women who wear sexy outfits.

However, I found out that productivity growth actually reached its peak everytime when skirts were getting shorter (1960s and 1990s), and it slowed down when skirts were getting longer (1970s and 1980s).

But, as always, Asians have been quicker than us:

Snake Oil Baron said...

While the reverse could also be true - that people in economies which are beginning to grow get more sex - it is good news either way. I think that the sensible thing to do is to follow good economic policy in order to have sex and to have sex in order to ensure good economic conditions. That way we are covered either way.

Anonymous said...

Dunno, shouldn't there also in fairness be " hot & chiseled but sensitive fireman" day for something?

Just asking.

Paul E. Zimmerman said...

But wait, good Captain, you should advance a stimulus package as President: the "package stimulus" package.

It'll be a big hit. You'll be elected for three terms, limits be damned.

Anonymous said...

"Empirical, conclusive indisputable proof that sex causes more economic growth."

Any proof that doesn't seem to have a verifiable source is a bit short of indisputable, Captain.

Besides, I want to see for comparison purposes anyway.

Mark Wadsworth said...

What Snake Oil says. Better safe than sorry.

Anonymous said...

Despite what the common myth is, people who are partnered/married get more sex on a regular basis. It may not be in the form of french maid outfits though.

Makeshift said...

Hmmm, isn't it possible that you have the causation around the wrong way?

Women legs open easier for more wealthier men seems to make more sense than, opening of legs make men more wealthy.