Sunday, January 02, 2011

Hogans Heroes vs. Housewives of OC

So twas the night before Christmas and whilst Natasha was away visiting her folks, your Captain had a much needed Cappy-Cap-Time which consisted of a bottle o' Rumpleminze, Borderlands for the 360 and a roaring fire to heat up his little man cave. Nobody was around. It was all 100% Cappy Time. Just me, some strong booze, an awesome video game, and my man cave and a nice long night of slumber.

The routine I've perfected over the years as a bachelor maximizes one's waking hours wherein I do the majority of the physical labor during the day and then lesser-physically demanding activities at night, scaling it down to activities that barely require any physical effort. So I usually work out in the morning (which for me is noon-1PM), take class, teach a class, go dance and then retire at home. The last two stages of this routine however is;

Stage T-1 - Play video games
Stage T - Watch TV
Liftoff - Sleepy bye

My favorite show is Hogans heroes and so what I do when I can no longer play video games effectively is I fire up the laptop, go to TV Land and watch old episodes of Hogan's Heroes and drift off to sleep.

However, this Christmas Eve I was shocked to find out that TV Land no longer broadcasts Hogan's Heroes in the internet anymore.

Which made it a cold and horrible Christmas.

Of course, I can watch the "Housewives of OC" or "Housewives of Atlanta" or the "Housewives of Arkon." Because, well, you know, THAT'S CULTURE. You know Hogan's Heroes, that just dumb stupid guy stuff. But Housewives of Duluth! Now we're talking.

Of course this is just more empirical proof that America is in decline when the free market prefers "Housewives of Milwaukee" over "Hogan's Heroes." Sadly, what irks me most about this, is it impairs my ability to enjoy the decline!


Anonymous said...

I was wondering why all the good new TV shows were being cancelled.
The Good Guys
Arrested Development
Seems they get a good sitcom and it can't compete with crap like Housewives of Jersey Shore.
It is a symptom of the decline of our civilization.
The schools have succeeded in dumbing us down that we become easy pawns.

Anonymous said...

What really bugs me is the "real" - as in : real housewives of X.

Seriously, They maybe real but based on 30min of viewing, we're looking at a very limited, rather esoteric, sub-section of women.

I'm guessing, again based on 30min of viewing, that we're dealing with is, like much advertising, and most of hollywood female fantasy fufillment TV. Which is why hollywood is now smaller than the videogame industry which still caters to males.

(Final comment: I have horror that in 3000 years, a DVD of "housewives of X" or it's ilk will be dug up and played and held up as "average reality of early 21st century life" or something. Shoot me now.")

CBMTTek said...

These so-called reality shows have two main features that make them very appealing to the networks. First, they cost almost nothing to produce, as compared to a scripted show, or even a game show.
Next, people are, unfortunately, drawn to them in the same way we slow down to rubberneck at car accidents. We take a morbid delight in seeing the misery of others.

So, as annoying as it is, unfortunately, we are stuck with it. And, you wonder why I have pretty much given up on TV lately.

Satanam in computatrum said...

Borderlands is good? Nice to know...been waffling on that one for a little while.

Captain Capitalism said...

Oh yeah. Depends on your preference of video games of course, but they're the same guys that had Bio Shock and Bio Shock 2.

Long game play for the campaign. Controls handle very well. Simple and organized. The music and environment start to grind on you kind of in a Metroid psychosis sense, but a damn fine game.

Anonymous said...

For just $99 you can enjoy the decline again!

Hogan's Heroes: The Komplete Series, Kommandant's Kollection

I have them all on DVD, well worth the $100 to be able to enjoy Hogan's Heroes with the peace of mind that they can't be taken away form you!


JB1000 said...

Full series of Hogan's Heros at Best Buy, 79 dollars. (I tried to order through Amazon but some video company in Australia disappeared without a trace. I did get my money back from Amazon)

daniel_ream said...

Now, Captain, surely the reason Hogan's Heroes has been pulled is that with the release of the DVD box set, the copyright owners realize they can make more money selling the show than giving it away? Clearly there's much more demand for Hogan's Heroes than TRHOC, since they can *charge money* for Hogan's Heroes, whilst giving away the tripe for free.

Whilst you rouse yourself enough to contribute to GDP sufficiently to acquire the DVDs, might I suggest 12 O'Clock High as an acceptable substitute? (The movie and the first two seasons only; third season is kind of...errrr.)

Anonymous said...

Now Cap and Sgt. Schultz both can say "I zee nothink!!!"

Reality TV isn't.

Captain Capitalism said...

I do own 12 O'Clock High. I did NOT know there was a series however!

Reminds me of Peter Gunn. Outstanding series.

Anonymous said...

These horseshit reality shows are about as real as a politician with morals! If you watch one, you're a f***ing loser, period!!!

Anonymous said...

I am a 28 year old female and I adore Hogan's Heroes. I know a lot of other women (older & younger) who also love the show so despite what people might thing it's not a guy's thing at all to me.

My advice to you is look up episodes on youtube. There are a bunch. Or buy the DVDs. I have the boxset and I am not regretting it. I can watch Hogan's whenever I please.