I know that you’ve mentioned the merits of going into and
staying in the military in light of the shitty economy and, especially in the
case of men, to have a solid purpose and direction in their life. As a veteran myself, I know these merits personally,
for I was in a somewhat similar situation over ten years ago when I found
myself without a job and struggling to find something substantial after my IT
job at a severely dysfunctional and corrupt non-profit (the United Way . . .
wink-wink) went belly-up and I was faced with a slack job market soon after the
one-two punch of the 1999-2000 tech bust and 9/11. Fed up, I did something radical and joined
the Army at the age of 31. (At 18 years
old, I could have done it, but didn't.
But, back then, I still operated with the belief that college was the
key and that there were plentiful jobs out there.)
Now, I work for the government in Washington, DC and have
excellent pay and benefits. Being a
veteran certainly helps in this day and age because there are many more
resources out there for them to where being a vet puts you in a special and,
dare I say, somewhat protected class. If
you know how to exploit these resources, you can do fairly well for yourself, but
you have to be creative because, especially when it comes to the government,
lethargy, apathy, and bureaucratic friction are the order of the day. It’s not all that different for the private
sector, where, even if you find a good mentor who can point you in the right
direction, he or she is likely limited in what they can do where they work
because HR still rules the roost in several cases – and we all know how HR
works. Creativity and persistence, as
well as patience and a high tolerance for bullshit, will yield some good fruit.
I wanted to share some of my experiences with the
military below, outlined in the following points. I’d like you to share these points in a video
for those guys, especially younger, out there considering joining the military so
that they’re forearmed with substantial knowledge from a guy who’s smarter than
the average bear (I do listen to you, after all) and who was there on the
ground seeing this unfold. However, I
want to caution that, at the time I enlisted, I was older than the average
recruit and so had some biases going in.
But, I counterbalanced that with my own innate smarts and hustling to
create my own luck to get what I wanted.
My cousin did the same thing at a slightly younger age in the late 90s
when he was stuck with a marine biology degree, debt, and no job. He came out decently on the other side and
now works for JP Morgan as a VP, since JP Morgan is very vet-friendly and there
still are fairly plenty of jobs on their side.
Vets’ preference, baby.
With that, I’ll begin.
Take everything I say here with a grain of salt, realizing that this is
my own opinion, and do your own homework by talking with other vets. Keep in mind that I enlisted in early 2004,
almost one year after the Iraq debacle kick-off, and before the waves of PC
bullshit started infiltrating the military (e.g., women allowed in combat roles
and the sexual assault witch-hunts). I
also was in the Army, so everything I say here references my experiences in the
Army. I can’t speak to the Navy, Air
Force, Marines, or Coast Guard, or to the Reserves and National Guard, though I
can bet money that many points here can be applied to those other services. Again, do your own homework and make your own
decisions. The key point here is to make
an INFORMED decision, based on facts and not on emotion. When you join the military, you’re taking a
risk and one that you can’t back away from so easily as you would just up and
quitting a regular job.
INTRODUCTION
Understand that the Army is run like any other large and
bureaucratic government, or even corporate, organization in this day and age:
badly and wastefully. Add in Congress’s relentless
dysfunction despite Republicans still loving the military as a pork project,
and you have hemorrhoid pain. Add in PC
bullshit, and you have a witch’s brew.
Some will, rightly so, describe the Army as “faux socialism” since you
do get goodies (e.g., health care, educational benefits, a pension) in return
for signing your life over for a certain number of years. If you refuse to give into patriotism, a
sense of “duty and honor,” and adopt a somewhat mercenary mindset, those of you
that are using the Army as a less-than-stellar option to get more wind in your
sails for your life are on the right foot.
This is what I did when I enlisted.
I needed more momentum in my life and sucked it up with the Army’s
bullshit.
Now, as with any organization, there are smart people,
good and decent people, mediocre people, functional illiterates, and
psychopaths. Politicians are the routine
mediocre and psychopaths. So are your fellow
soldiers, senior enlisted, and officers.
The more you devalue yourself and the more you drink the Kool-Aid, the
higher you can go in the ranks. If you
want to do 20 years and get the pension, this will likely be your path. If you’re a short-timer to get the goodies,
you can retain some of your mind, personality, and dignity. In the Army, you can meet some cool and
downright incredible people, and some of these people could turn into lifelong
buddies. You’ll also meet many
dysfunctional and evil shitbags. Don’t
be one of them, if possible. (The Army,
generally, doesn't attract the best and the brightest.) Work with them, but don’t hang out with
them. You’re not required to. The only thing you’re required to do is
follow orders, follow regulations, and respect rank. You might get a shitty situation or you might
get a cake situation. Consider yourself
very fortunate if you get the latter. If
you get the former, work with it and get what you can out of it. Most of the time, you’ll have a bit of
both. (See the last section for more on
this.)
TOTAL MILITARY TIME
Understand that, on the day that you go to your MEPS
(Military Entrance Processing Station) and raise your hand to take the oath to
defend the Constitution (uh-huh) you incur a total EIGHT-year commitment in the
military.
Let me say that again for the cheap seats: EIGHT YEARS.
You could spend these 8 years either totally on active
duty in one service (e.g., Army), or in the Reserves or National Guard. You could also be in the Army for a few years
and then maybe go into the Air Force either on active duty or Reserve or
National Guard. You could also do 2-3
years of active duty in one service and then not be in anything for the rest of
the 8 years or for up to 20 years and then get a pension. This non-active duty time is called the
Individual Ready Reserve (IRR). While in
IRR, you have to check in periodically so that the military knows you’re out
there, at the ready. This wasn't a bad
gig for many people until 9/11 happened and then Iraq kicked off. Then, they found themselves called up and
retrained to be in jobs like infantry or military police (MP). These were guys who might have worked
clerical jobs in the past while on active duty – and, these might have been
guys in their late 40s and early 50s just waiting to put in their 20
years. No matter. If the military has tabs on you, they can
call you up in the event there’s another war.
All of these people, including those in the National Guard, especially,
were called up because there was a severe shortage of personnel due to the
massive draw-down that happened (and is currently happening, though to a lesser
degree, because of sequestration, which are the automatic budget cuts that
Congress was too spineless to stop) in the late 80s and early 90s, after the Cold
War and under Bill Clinton.
When you come off of active duty and go into the IRR, you
won’t receive your official discharge paperwork until your IRR time is
over. Until you get that official
paperwork, you’ll be in a “separated” status.
Keep this in mind. Also
understand that, you’ll be in the IRR from the day you raise your hand to take
the oath until you ship out to basic training/boot camp. I was initially unaware of this until I
checked my enlistment paperwork after my first deployment. I enlisted in July 2003 and didn't ship out
until January 2004, so that gave me a good six months of IRR time, which
applied to my total 8-year commitment.
Consequently, I had 1.5 years to wait until I got my official discharge
paperwork in July 2011. I’m now no
longer in the military’s grasp.
Lastly, if you should decide you get out before you hit
the 20-year mark, you’ll meet recruiters again who will try to entice you to
stay in. If you want to stay in, that’s
your choice. But, it’s better to WANT to
stay in to get more of what YOU want or try again to get what you want if bad
luck befell you during your first term of enlistment. I remember when I was in Germany just six
years ago listening to a recruiter try to entice one of my buddies to stay in,
saying that he’d be promoted and get a bonus, yadda, yadda, yadda . . . My
buddy, when asked, said that he had something like $90,000 in the bank, so he
was good financially. The recruiter sat
their dumbstruck and didn't say anything except, “Um, well . . . so I think
you’re good.” I couldn't help but smile
because my buddy had the military equivalent of fuck-you money.
RECRUITERS AND THE ASVAB
Get it in your head that recruiters don’t give one corn-enhanced
shit about you personally. They’re there
to meet their quotas and make it easier on themselves because they might be
recruiters in your particular area since the Army allows you to do recruiting
duty for up to three years, usually to create stability (maybe in their own hometown)
and to get out of deployments for that time period. After their duty, then they have to go where
the Army sends them. True, there are
some “nice” recruiters who are generally aboveboard and are more helpful than
others in answering your questions, but they’re all salespeople trying to get
you in. Don’t fall for the allure of
being in the service and let yourself be swayed by false promises or, more
charitably to the recruiters, their incomplete and/or distorted knowledge about
what things are like in areas you have an interest in. (For comparison, think how many job
descriptions don’t match with the actual job.)
Recruiters aren't the smartest bunch, too.
To get what you want in the military, you have to go in
with a mercenary mindset and hustle to get it.
Once you enlist, you’re government property, even though you get meals,
a roof over your head, clothing, training, free medical care, and a chance to
travel. As the CO (commanding officer)
of my first unit said to me once, “The Army will gladly let you work as many
hours as you want without one more ounce of what they’re required to give
you.” Also, if you don’t take charge of
your career, then the Army will gladly do it for you.
The way you effectively deal with recruiters is to go in
there with a no-bullshit attitude and know what you want. You do the latter by researching the
positions that the Army has available (you have the Internet now, so no excuses
for not doing this) and telling this to the recruiter. For example, in my case, I had two positions
in mind: IT specialist (which was fairly new at the time in early 2004) and a
linguist, with a concentration, I hoped, in Arabic. I wisely chose the former as this would set
me up better once I came off of active duty after six years, which was the
length of my initial enlistment. If the
recruiter doesn't give you what you want, you walk and can go to another
recruiter, or come back later if there are other slots open. Never, ever be desperate to enlist, if you
can help it. If you can’t get your first
job, but you want to ship out right away, then have another job you want to do,
with a solid payout once you finish your first enlistment. Remember that the military isn't twisting
your arm to enlist. There’s no draft
(except maybe a “poverty draft”) and you’re free to enlist or not to
enlist.
One way you have leverage over recruiters to get what you
want is to score well on the Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery (ASVAB)
as well as a high school diploma. For
the Army, a 31 composite score is necessary for enlistment, and a minimum of 50
is required for specialized jobs, like the technical fields, and for enlistment
bonuses. Generally, the higher you score
on all areas of the ASVAB, the higher your score, and the greater the
likelihood that you’ll get the job of your choice, excepting barriers like how
many slots are open, enlistment times, etc.
BASIC TRAINING AND TECHNICAL TRAINING
Every Army enlisted soldier has to go through Basic
Combat Training (BCT). This is where you
learn to “be a soldier” – which is less intense than it was about 20 years ago,
so some people told me. Typical length
is 8 weeks long, where you do lots of PT, do weapons training, do drill and
ceremony, etc. Check out YouTube videos
for some insight into this.
The following are the Army bases where you’d be assigned
for BCT:
·
Fort Benning – Columbus, Georgia
·
Fort Jackson – Columbia, South Carolina
·
Fort Leonard Wood – St. Robert, Missouri
·
Fort Sill – Lawton, Oklahoma
At the time I was in, there were one or two others, but I
guess those have since closed down.
Also, I understand that all four now have females, whereas Benning
accepted only males. (Better, in my
opinion, because the problems you have with Army females start earlier when
they’re in BCT with you.)
Understand that, because of PC influences, BCT is watered
down – and it has changed to reflect what the Army decided had to be done in
light of the outdated Cold War tactics and how they didn't serve soldiers in
dealing with “asymmetric warfare.” (Look
it up.) Because of this, BCT, especially
with females, is a big head game. Take
nothing personally and get your shit done to get through this. Take the opportunities with PT to get in
better shape than you are now, because you’ll be doing a lot of PT. Keep on the straight path and keep your nose
clean. If you’re lucky, you might make
some lasting buddy-ships, some of whom might go with you to Advanced Individual
Training (AIT) after you all are done with BCT.
If you have the right attitude, you should do fine. A big plus, especially when it comes to
weapons training, is if you came from a gun-loving family and started shooting
when you were younger. I didn't and so
sucked at marksmanship. But, that wasn't
why I went into the Army in the first place.
AIT is where you receive your job training. In your research for what job you want before
you enlist, check out how long the training is going to be. My job was IT specialist, and my AIT was six
months, one of the longer ones. By far,
the longest AIT is for a linguist, especially if the language you’ll be
studying is difficult like Chinese, Arabic, Korean, or Persian/Farsi. Language training itself, done at the Defense
Language Institute in Monterey, California, could take up to a year or slightly
more. Then, afterward, you might be
trained to do intelligence (likely) for another few months. I remember a guy I used to know many years
ago who enlisted in the Army in the early 90s and wound up being trained as a
Korean linguist and then in intelligence.
Adding up the time he spent in the IRR before shipping out to BCT, his
BCT time, his language training (at least one year), and his intelligence
training, he arrived at his first duty station in Korea with almost half of his
four-year enlistment over. Yes, gents,
this is so. Though you have a total
8-year commitment, whatever training you receive while on active duty counts
toward your total active duty time.
On
that note, I also want to underscore the
following. Unless you don’t really care
what happens to you during your Army
time (and there are people like that), take every opportunity you can to
take
training on the Army’s dime, especially technical training that will
help you
get a job in the civilian world when you get out. You want to get IT
certifications? Use tuition assistance to pay for it. You want to get
your EMT certification? Make sure you enlist as a medical specialist
and get that. You can also use some of
your GI Bill money WHILE ON ACTIVE DUTY to get a degree, including a
master’s. Again, in my case, I used it
to get a master’s degree because I already had a bachelor’s. If you
want to position yourself well before
you get out, and already eliminate the hurdles of having a degree and
the
certifications, you have no excuse not to start working on this after
you get
to your first unit. Admittedly, there
were many active duty soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan who were working
too
much and dealing with other shit at home (e.g., cheating girlfriends or
spouses
and the damaging fallout from them) where they couldn't apply themselves
to
degree programs or other training programs.
Now that things are relatively calmer, you should have some more free
time. Yes, do your partying and enjoy
yourself here and there, but DO NOT piss away your time and not get out
with
nothing less than an associate’s degree and a few certifications. To
take it one step further, you could start
an online business while on active duty.
This is something I wish I’d done while I had the time, but I was more
focused on study and traveling in Europe, which I did a lot of, to my
satisfaction.
Finally, do online courses for your degree, and do them
with an accredited non-profit university.
Do not take out any loans if possible and take your time if you have 4-6
years. All of this saves you time. Having that bachelor’s, unfortunately, is
still a must in today’s over-credentialized world. The sooner you knock it out, the less
headaches you’ll have later on. I can
remember some of my old unit-mates telling me not long after we all
transitioned off of active duty how they regretted not getting at least an
associate’s. Now, they’re stuck,
unemployed, and trying to attend school full time, even with the GI Bill.
ENLISTED vs. OFFICER
Generally, it’s better to be an officer, especially
long-term. You get better pay, deal with
less bullshit (e.g., clean-up and landscaping duty), and are more respected
when you get out because you’re seen as “management material” by private-sector
employers. But, all is not a bed of
roses and you have to be circumspect in deciding to go down this route.
First, if you have a degree, regardless of major, you’ll
already qualify to be an officer. (Even
better if you have a medical degree because you can come in at a higher rank
like Captain or Major if you’re a nurse or doctor, respectively.) This is what happened to me, and my recruiter
was trying to push me in this direction.
But, something in the back of my mind told me to be cautious, especially
since I didn’t have all of the facts before me and, at least in my mind,
wouldn't be making an informed decision.
So, I chose to go enlisted instead, with the intent of maybe becoming an
officer later if I wanted to reenlist.
It wasn't until later when I could give shape to my doubts.
Understand, firstly, that officers are trained to be
generalists – managers. Enlisted are
trained to do a job and, given the job, will do that job for the duration of
their active duty and maybe their Reserve and National Guard careers. With the Army, both officers are enlisted are
trained to fight or to lead others to fight.
No surprise that the core of the Army is the infantry and combat
arms. (Same with the Marines, though there’s
greater stress on combat training (“you’re a rifleman”) first. All other jobs are secondary and are in
support of combat arms. As enlisted,
you’re trained to be on the front line.
As an officer, you’re trained to lead these front-line soldiers.
Whether you begin your initial enlistment as an officer
or become an officer later, you attend Officer Candidate School (OCS) at Fort
Benning, Georgia, where you have your weapons training and do other things like
land navigation. At the time you begin
OCS, you create a “dream sheet” of three branches, one of which has to be combat
arms (e.g., Infantry) if you’re male.
You hope that, at the time you get out of OCS and are assigned your
first unit, you have your first choice.
Don’t count on it. “Needs of the
Army” will trump most things. If your
first choice was Signal (i.e., communications), you might instead wind up with
Air Defense Artillery (combat arms). The
only way you can change this is if you find someone in your class with the
branch you want and he or she wants the branch you have. You do a one-to-one swap. If not, then you’re stuck with what you’re
assigned – for the duration of your first enlistment. When Iraq and Afghanistan were full force,
you, as a privileged and patriarchy-benefiting scumbag of a male, could have
wound up with Infantry and then be on the front lines with your men. Nice – not.
Some of the worst officers I've seen have been early
20-somethings coming straight out of college or ROTC and who have no
real-world, or otherwise, leadership experience, with the entitlement attitude
to boot. Not all are like this, of
course, and I’ve seen some shitbag officers who were shitbags prior enlisted,
but who lucked out and went to OCS to get a better job. In general, though, prior enlisted (and
older) tended to make better officers because they knew what it was like to be
enlisted and knew what jobs in the branch entailed. Think of the civilian world – an IT project
manager, for example, would, in general, be more effective if he or she worked
as a network administrator or programmer for a time before taking management
courses, or even daring to consider himself or herself a competent
manager.
Next, many agree that the best of both worlds (for the
Army) is being a warrant officer (WO). A
WO is a technical subject matter expert who runs a shop or a section. He or she is a commissioned officer, but
doesn't deal with running a battalion or division unless necessary. Think project or program manager instead of
“general management.” Less bullshit and
more focus on the technical side of the house.
You especially find WOs as helicopter pilots and Signal officers. WOs were prior enlisted before they became
WOs. You don’t become a WO straight out
of the gate like you would a commissioned officer. The downside of being a WO is that is takes
much longer to attain the next rank because you have to know your technical
area solidly and because of time-in constraints. This is why you find many WO4s and WO5s (two
of the highest ranks) in their 50s and 60s, with at least 20 years of total
service. It’s also about slots, which
I’ll address below.
Finally, back to being enlisted. In my view, there’s no shame in being
enlisted, even if you have a degree. (Case
in point, during both basic training and my tech training, there were many
people who had worked in IT and had some college credits, which meant that they
had a higher rank going in. They
enlisted because they had shit for job prospects and wanted to better
themselves.) Going the enlisted route
makes perfect sense if you’re going to be a short-timer and are very focused in
what you want. I was in the Signal
branch and I went enlisted because I wanted to work to get that hands-on
experience and maybe a certification or two (which the Army, and the other
services, could pay for). When it comes
to IT, as many of you out there know, experience matters more than
education. After six years (my initial
enlistment term), I came out having done networking, a bit of programming, and
working with databases. With my general
demeanor, many people have mistaken me for an officer, and are surprised to
learn that I was enlisted. I didn’t take
the certifications, though, but that didn’t hinder me in getting my present
job. But, I certainly used my GI Bill
benefits while on active duty to help pay for a master’s in IT, which has been
much more valuable in the long run.
Also, with being enlisted, as I mentioned with the
recruiters, unless you get the exact job you want, you could be stuck with a
shit job for at least four years, then have to reenlist to “reclass,” as they call
it, to something you want to do, for another four years or so.
ASSIGNMENTS
As
is the case with OCT, at the time you enlist, you can
create a wish list of where you want to be stationed when you’re
finished with
BCT and AIT. Don’t assume that you’re
going to get your choice. At the time I
enlisted (and it probably is still the case today), the only way you
could get
a choice is if you chose OCONUS (Outside of the Continental United
States),
which is anything other than the 48 states.
OCONUS, regarding duty stations outside of deployments, means Europe,
Asia, Hawaii, Alaska, or the territories like Puerto Rico and Guam. Two
main choices are Germany and Korea. If you choose CONUS (Continental
United
States), you won’t have a choice with your first enlistment. You go
where they assign you, and that’s
based on “needs of the Army” and you’ll probably end up on a larger base
like
Fort Benning or Fort Stewart in Georgia, Fort Hood in Texas, or Fort
Lewis in
Washington State. Them’s the breaks, but
if you have a mildly positive attitude, it can work out. Some bases
really suck and others are rather
tolerable. Do your research on the base
and the surrounding area, keeping in mind that the nearest city to an
Army base
is heavily dependent on the base itself.
So, expect to see lots of tattoo parlors, check-cashing places, bars,
and assorted welfare recipients. (Plentiful
with somewhat effortless single-mother pussy, but wear a rubber.)
If you happen to get Germany or Korea, you did have a
choice, but, as is also the case with staying CONUS, you don’t have a choice
with WHAT UNIT you’ll end up in. Again,
“needs of the Army.” In my case, for
example, I did BCT at Fort Benning and then went to Fort Gordon, also in
Georgia, for my AIT. My first duty station,
which I learned not two weeks into AIT, was Benning. Kind of funny when you look at it, because I
wound up crisscrossing the state. When I
arrived at Benning, I was first to go to a transportation unit but then got
moved up to the HQ unit because they needed my skills there. This was a logistics battalion of which the
transportation unit was a part. I
deployed with this logistics battalion for one year. In early 2006, I got in touch with my branch
manager (Signal) at Army HQ and requested a transfer to Germany, which I then
did in November 2006, being stationed in Mannheim in the southwest, one hour
south of Frankfurt am Main. I wound up
in a Signal unit and then deployed with them in late 2007. A buddy of mine from AIT with the same job,
in contrast, wound up at Fort Stewart in Georgia with the 3rd
Infantry Division, a large, cumbersome, and moderately dysfunctional unit. He stayed there for all of his six years and
deployed three times. He was unable to
get out of 3rd ID and Stewart.
That happens. To get away from 3rd
ID, he’d have had to reenlist (which is when you truly do have a choice as to
what BASE you go to, but not unit) for another 4-6 years or get out. (He got out, and is now working for Oracle in
San Francisco as a software developer.)
The upshot to this is: you have little choice where you
go, but you have a choice in what to make of where you’re at. In my case, I spent my entire Army career in
two places: Benning in Georgia and Mannheim in Germany. Each had their respective merits and
demerits. The unit at Benning was run
better and I did my job all during the two years I was with the unit, both in
garrison and deployed. But, Columbus,
Georgia was lacking in things to do, even though I had a car and took some day
trips to Alabama and Atlanta. The unit
in Germany was run a bit worse and I didn’t do my job except when
deployed. But, I was in Germany and near
two main train stations and one major international airport. You can bet your sweet ass that I took
advantage of that, traveling to France three times, Switzerland once, Italy
twice, Greece once, Malta twice, Turkey once, Austria once, and all over
Germany. It was all about seeing and
seizing the opportunity. After all, in
garrison, you work 9 to 5 and have your weekends free, and have four-day
weekends whenever there’s a major US holiday like Memorial Day and President’s
Day. If you’re stationed in Italy you
can do the same thing with Europe. In
Korea, you can travel all over Asia, though if you’re in the north near Seoul,
you’ll probably be working your ass off with field exercises and, consequently,
won’t have that much free time.
Final note: I touched on the fact of doing your research
with bases and the surrounding areas.
Understand that, with most bases, one or two units are the major force
there. All other units are classified as
either support units or “tenant” units.
For example, as I mentioned, 3rd ID is the main unit on Fort
Stewart. If you get assigned there, you
might wind up at the division level, or at the battalion or company level of a
unit supporting 3rd ID. If 3rd
ID deploys, then all or mostly all of the support units will go with it. If you get assigned to a “tenant” unit, you
might not deploy, though that’s not set in stone. (Case in point: with the logistics battalion,
the battalion JAG clerk, a black single mother, found a way to get out of the
deployment and so the battalion had to scrounge to find a JAG clerk, which they
found in an early 20-something, nerdy and pimply-faced guy who thought that he
was set with his desk job in garrison.
“Needs of the Army,” baby.) Also,
realize that getting assigned to a plum base might not be it’s all cracked up
to be. “Plum” might be Japan (very hard
to get unless you luck out or reenlist and get some strings pulled), Spain, or
it might be one of the bases near Washington, DC (e.g., Fort Meade, where the
NSA is) to include the Pentagon. DC area
bases are stuffed with top officers and senior enlisted, so as junior enlisted,
you run the risk of being someone’s bitch in a more political atmosphere
–though you’ll be doing a desk job and not out in the field pitching
tents. (Higher brass is also someone
else’s bitch, as a major could be the secretary and dog-walker to a one-star
general.) You also have to deal with DC
traffic and the high cost of living, and plenty of government employees with
their own entitlement mentality. Given
that, you might be better off, cost of living-wise, at a place like Fort Bliss
near El Paso, Texas, though you’d have to deal with another kind of Shitsville
entirely.
REGULATIONS
If nothing else, read up on and understand deeply Army
regulations, especially those that govern solider appearance and behavior. Many of these regulations are online, so you
can access them much easier than you could in the past, when soldiers tended to
be more ignorant because of lack of information. Knowing the regulations better than anyone
else means that you can protect yourself when you encounter a shitbag who won’t
let up on you.
For example, in Germany, I had a higher-ranked supervisor
who I didn't get along with because I could tell that he was a self-serving
shitbag who could get what he wanted because the battalion leadership needed
him for deployments. The guy was Indian
and came from a somewhat well-to-do family.
(However, unlike the stereotype, this Indian wasn't the sharpest bayonet
in the drawer.) He enlisted in the Army
to get his American citizenship, but was going to do his 20 years so that he
could also get a pension. This guy
wasn't well-liked by many people in the battalion, and fate conspired to make
him my supervisor.
One thing he did early on was to get on me about my
haircut. According to regulation, all
males’ hair must be short and off the collar.
You could either shave your head bald (which I did) or do a
high-and-tight. (Look it up.) I usually kept my hair blocked off in the
back, as I had been doing for many years.
Mind you, no one either in BCT, AIT, or at my first unit said anything
about this, as I usually kept my hair very short and they probably didn't
care. Not so this Indian guy. The regulation, I admit, said that, in the
back, the hair was to be in a taper instead of a block. I couldn't argue with him about this, but I
managed to put it off until things got busy with the pre-deployment
preparations. Then, after my unit moved
from Germany, it fell by the wayside. I
never heard about it again, either from him or anyone else.
The point here is that anyone, including you, can
circumvent or flout regulations when necessary.
Regulations exist for a reason, but there are many that have been there
on the books for a long time, and in my opinion, make little sense today. Yet, everyone has to follow them, or suffer
the consequences. One thing to keep in
mind is that all leadership is required to maintain current regulations and not
take away from current regulations. They
can also add to existing regulations as they see fit, but “within reasonable
bounds.” For example, a unit commander
can push to have all soldiers starch and press their uniforms even though this
isn't necessary and can damage said uniforms.
This is frivolous, but you’ll run into trouble if you don’t follow it. On the flip side, if a shitbag is trying to
get you to do something dangerous, you can pull out the regulation and shove it
into his (or her) face to get them to back away, even going up the chain of
command to get him or her to stop.
You’ll still suffer some consequences, but at least you can shove back
and stand your ground.
This is the Army guys – when you signed on the dotted
line and raised your hand, you gave up some of your rights as a private citizen
for the goodies. If you’re not ready to
do this, then you have no business being in the Army.
WOMEN
A crucial subject since many of you out there are younger
clueless men with raging hormones. Pay
close attention because, as it is in the civilian world, the stakes are high
and you could SERIOUSLY lose your ass, over a piece of ass, and dignity in this
minefield if you don’t know how to navigate it.
First, understand that there are fewer women than men in
the Army, so you’re dealing with a pre-existing unfavorable sex ratio. There are certain fields, mind you, where
there are generally more women than men (e.g., medical and clerical, though
clerical jobs have all but disappeared).
In general, the easier the job, the more women you’ll find. This was also, until recently, mandated by
the ban on women in combat roles.
In my experience, many Army women, whether they’re white,
black, Hispanic, or Asian, are both unattractive and low on the intelligence
scale. After all, even in the case with
men, the Army and the military won’t attract the best and the brightest. There are outliers, of course, but don’t
expect to find them. Also, with Army
women, since many Army guys are thirsty, the women’s attitudes tend to be
horrible because of entitlement mentality – which also existed before they went
in because of feminism, etc.
Case in point: note the phrase “queen for a year.” This refers to a chick on deployment, usually
a 5 at best, where she might be the only Slot A (hat tip to Terence Popp) of
maybe 50 or more men. You can do the
math on that one. In my case, I remember
during my second deployment to Iraq being at a small outpost of at least 150
mostly infantry guys. We had one female
MP who would stay at the base for a few days every month or so. At best she was a 6 – in the face, but not in
the body. Though she was a competent MP,
imagine her near-effortless pick of dick.
It sucks, boys . . . and she certainly wouldn't be sucking you if there
are officers or senior enlisted around . . . wink-wink.
Of paramount importance is the following. If you have the urge and it’s too strong to
ignore, jerk off or, if you’re over in Asia or Europe, put aside some cash and
avail yourself of hookers. Because many
Army chicks are both entitled and mentally disturbed (daddy issues, physical or
sexual abuse at home, low self-esteem, substance abuse), if you avail yourself
of the Slot A (and B and D) and she has remorse, you can rightly assume that
she knows she can sashay her fat ass over to the MP station at any time and
file a sexual assault charge. You’ll
then be yanked aside and have to go through an investigation. Very stressful and potentially life-upending.
I’ll
give an example.
At the start of my second deployment, one of the senior enlisted (an
E-6, staff sergeant), who had a girlfriend in Germany and was tapping
ass on
the side occasionally, suddenly disappeared from our unit while we were
in
Kuwait for in-processing and training. I
didn't find out until two months later that a chick he had banged once
or twice
in Kuwait filed a rape charge against him.
The Army removed him from Kuwait and our unit and sent him to Fort Sill,
Oklahoma to sit in limited confinement while his trial, which could have
led to
a court-martial, was going on. I later
found out that he was at Sill for a good seven months. Eventually, they
found out that the chick
lied and had filed two other sexual assault charges with two other men.
She had a history of mental illness. The E-6 was cleared, he was
reinstated on
active duty, and got his rank back.
(But, we never saw him again in Germany.) He could have been
court-maritaled and
received a dishonorable discharge, which would have fucked him. He
escaped this fate, though I’m sure that he
definitely was shaken because of it. In
general, though the guy should have kept it in his pants, especially
since he
had a girlfriend who was in his corner, what he went through was
unnecessary. But, if you stick your dick
in crazy, this is what happens. Don’t
say you weren't warned.
On another note, dealing with Army women is often a
challenge because of their entitlement mentality and because they’re given a
lot more slack than the men are, which then creates work problems and fosters
resentment from others. For example,
there was one blonde chick in Germany – quite the looker, at least a solid 7
who was thin and had a nice ass – who routinely ducked morning formation and
didn't get disciplined for it because her supervisor let it slide. She missed formation because she often had
been drinking the night before and woke up hung over. (Yet, she swore she didn't have a drinking
problem.) She also had three tattoos and
had been getting British dick while deployed, so go figure. Another example was a whiny, sometimes
belligerent, and all-around insufferable black chick who talked back to
supervisors when they required her to do physical labor. While in Kuwait, she conveniently got herself
knocked up by a senior enlisted dude and then was sent back to Germany to wait
out the deployment – because, of course, how could you deploy a pregnant slut
to actually do work? So, she did
clerical work and probably stayed in for a few more years while she got free
health and pre-natal care. Great while
you can get it, but then the kid is going to be yet another single-mother
raised kid. God bless America!
My advice: avoid these chicks and only work with them
when necessary. If you choose to fuck
them, get a vasectomy and freeze your sperm first. Then, make sure to record the two of you
making the beast with two backs, to protect yourself against a sexual assault
charge. The witch-hunt is now greater
than it was when I was in, so you have to tread very, very carefully in this
area. And, as I said, if you’re in Asia
or Europe, then just go to the brothels.
The attitude toward prostitution is more favorable in these places and the
quality of pussy is that much better.
Army women, even if attractive, tend to be sluts or might be tempted to
be sluts. If you had your choice between
a fat Hispanic chick, at best a 5, in the barracks, with the risk of her going
to the MPs if you didn't “satisfy” her right, or a brunette 8 Ukrainian in the
red-light district in Amsterdam, where you pay her 100 euro for one hour with
no hassle, which would you prefer? I
know which one I’d choose.
Lastly, I strongly advise against being married while in
the military unless you choose to do your 20 years and make a career of
it. If you’re a short-termer and doing
only one enlistment, you have shit to do, so get it done. The fewer distractions you have, the better.
Never
marry an Army chick because of the risk of getting
a psycho (and a petri dish of prior dick STDs) and because deployments,
if they
happen, can stress and tear apart a marriage, with any kids being
collateral
damage. You’re better off finding a
non-Army chick who is very patient and understanding and who will be in
your
corner for the long haul. Not a given,
mind you, since there are plenty of younger uneducated chicks looking to
get
their hooks into an Army guy to get his sperm and spousal benefits.
This also applies to Germans, Italians,
Asians, etc., wherever there’s an Army base and are looking to
capitalize on
young dumb Army guys. (Pussy for
resources – remember that.) I’ve seen
this one too many times and it doesn’t turn out well, for either the guy
or the
girl. For example, one 19 year old
dumbass on my team during my second deployment gave his wife complete
access to
the bank account before he deployed. A
few months in, she went incommunicado and, in tandem, had drained the
bank
account. He was calling frantically,
from Iraq, via Skype every day to find her and eventually found out that
she
had left town and went back to stay with her parents in another state.
Subsequently, they divorced – and then he was
back on Skype cyber-stalking this redhead he knew from his hometown.
Eventually, the battalion pulled him from our
side after six months because he had too many personal issues at home.
Good riddance. Then, there are the other stories of Army
chicks or Army wives “forgetting” their birth control. You know the
story.
Bottom line: if you want to get married, do it AFTER you
get out and after you set yourself up.
Then, apply the necessary protections and countermeasures as the fine
Mr. Clarey and other Manospherians have enumerated.
SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO?
About whether you should stay in or get out once your
first term of enlistment is over, that’s a decision that only you can
make. Sure, there are many benefits of
staying in, not the least of which are the continued benefits that you’d get
from a highly structured environment (especially, that you continue to get paid
even when you’re doing nothing or shoveling shit) and a pension (if it’s still
around nearly 20 years later). However,
I can say from experience that, the longer you stay in, the more “Army-unized”
you become. First enlistments for
shot-termers are always the best in terms of flexibility, especially if you get
the job you want and set yourself up well by the time your enlistment is
over. Next best is if you do under ten
years, correcting whatever mistakes you made in your first enlistment, and
doing better by the time you get out.
Doing the full 20 (or over) isn’t for everyone. I’ve seen former infantry, Special Forces,
and combat arms, for example, who retire after 20 years with severe health
problems and a sense of bitterness about them.
They reached a point where they decided, “Eh, fuck it . . . I’ll just do
my 20 since I’m already invested in this too deep.” Don’t get to this point. Stay in because you WANT to – not because you
have to. Those that stay in because they
have to have more or less the same problems as those in the civilian world do:
cunt of a wife to support, kids to support, health problems, etc.
Recently, the military pushed for the Temporary Early
Retirement Authority (TERA), called the “15-year retirement.” This allows you to shave 5 years off of the
total 20 if you so choose. You could do
this, but you’d get only 35% of your base pay in retirement (based on the rank
you were at retirement) vs. the up to 50% of your base pay for the full
20. The Department of Defense did this
to try and thin the ranks to get people out to save money. Again, it’s up to you, but knowing this for
the future will help you in your decision-making. Always do your research.
Some are cut out for the 20 and do well. Many more aren't cut out for this, and so get
out earlier. Remember as I said in the
beginning, the military is “faux socialism.”
Sure, you get the benefits, but what are you giving up to get those
benefits? Since 9/11, military pay has
gotten better, but historically, career military people typically couldn't do
anything else in the civilian world and so chose to be a professional solider,
cook, tank driver, pilot, etc. You can
do this, or choose to do something else.
Just make an informed decision.
BENEFITS
Finally, a word about the bennies both on active duty and
when you get out. I want to note first
that you will get all of your bennies if you get an honorable discharge
only. Get a dishonorable discharge, and
you've fucked yourself over in many ways.
Get a less-than-honorable discharge (LTO), and you get some bennies, but
not as many as you’d get with the honorable one. In short, you really have to fuck up to get a
dishonorable discharge, so it happens fairly rarely. More common is the LTO, so be careful in what
you get yourself into. Case in point: a
guy from South Carolina I was stationed with in Germany got an LTO not two
years into his first enlistment. He was
a mechanic who, admittedly, was working for some shitbags in the motor pool who
had it out for him. But, the guy, rather
than learn how to play the political game and keep his nose clean, chose to
fall back on his “redneck” (his words) ways and cause trouble. Eventually, the motor pool guys found a way
to fuck him over and which resulted in a LTO.
Almost a year I transitioned off of active duty, I heard that the guy
was in SC, degreeless, working at an auto parts store, and living out of his
truck. Not the one you want.
Back to the bennies . . .
First,
I mentioned the GI Bill, which is maybe the most
valuable one of the suite of bennies. I said
that you can use the GI Bill while still on active duty, which I
wholeheartedly
recommend for short-timers, especially, to get a jump on getting your
degree
and/or credentials before you get out.
No time to waste, so get cracking on this. There’s also tuition
assistance while on
active duty, but recently, because of sequestration, there’s some
concern about
how much has been cut and how long this might be going on. Best to do
your research. (Now that there are online course offerings
through Udacity, Coursera, etc., you can offset this.) With the newer
Post-9/11 GI Bill, there’s the
Yellow Ribbon program that some colleges participate in, where you might
get
all of your tuition paid as well as a living stipend, based on the
military’s
Basic Allowance for Housing (BAH). Do
your online research on this as there’s a ton of information. That’s
all I’ll say about that.
Second,
there’s the Veterans Administration (VA) medical
benefit. Admittedly, if you can get a
decent job with decent medical benefits, use those instead of the VA.
The VA, in general, is shit because of the
bureaucracy and because it’s a political hot potato. The VA is best
used if you have a
service-related injury. For example, did
you get your limb blown off from an IED during deployment? The VA would
cover that. Did you hurt your back lifting too much shit
during down time? The VA can cover
that. However, I can’t stress enough
that, before you come off of active duty, make sure to DOCUMENT every
ache and
pain that you think is service-related BEFORE you transition. Get it in
writing from the military doctor’s (and
dentist’s and specialist’s, if connected) office, along with any
medication
(other than the ubiquitous cure-all for the military, ibuprofen) that
you were
taking for it. After you transition,
make sure to go to the nearest VA clinic or hospital in your current
town or
city and get into the system. As of
right now, current Iraq and Afghanistan vets are entitled to five years
of
free(-ish) medical care from the VA, even if you don’t have a
service-connected
health issue. But, again, don’t use the
VA unless you absolutely have to. The
last time I used the VA was over 2.5 years ago when I went for an MRI
for my
lower back, since I have microtears in two discs because of overexertion
while
on active duty. I got it done and didn't
pay a dime. Why? Because I had this
documented and it’s service-connected. I’m
also thankful that I didn't get royally fucked up in any combat
situation. These are the really pathetic bastards that really
need VA medical care. And, given how the
VA is one, the troubles they have in getting medical care is really
tragic.
Third, there’s the benefit of having a security clearance. When I enlisted in 2004, the job I chose
required me to get a Secret clearance because I’d be working with sensitive
information on computer networks. The
process began shortly after I was in BCT and, because I had a clean record
(i.e., no drug use, no arrests, no jail time, paid off my debts in a timely
fashion, etc.) I was able to get my clearance before reporting to my first duty
station. Yay for me. Others weren't so lucky, and got stuck in AIT
for a few more months while the clearance process chugged along.
The benefit of having a clearance is twofold: (1) you
have access to jobs that not everyone can get, especially government jobs like
in the Department of Defense; (2) it shows to certain employers that you can be
trusted with sensitive information and that you’re, at least on the surface,
and upstanding person. Having a
clearance is a nice feather in your cap, especially if you already have your
degree and your certifications. Also,
having the highest clearance you can get (which, currently is the Yankee White
one, which give you access to the White House) moves down the chain to the
so-called “public trust” designation. In
other words, the highest clearance you can get means that you can do anything
below you, so to speak. If you have a
Top Secret, you can work in a Secret position, for example.
However, let me counter the benefits by giving the
negatives. I speak from experience on
this one, since I've held both a Secret clearance and a Top Secret clearance
for a total of 11 years. Yes, having a
clearance gives you access to jobs that the great unwashed masses can’t get,
but you won’t be special in a smaller lake of thousands of clearance
holders. Not long after 9/11, the
Federal government suddenly needed lot of people to work in the defense sector,
both on the government side and the contractor side. If you had a clearance during that time, you
were like the hot 20-something chick and all boners were pointed at you. You could more or less write your own ticket,
especially with contractors. Well, those
glory days are behind us. With the Iraq
and Afghanistan wind-down and budget cuts, many of these jobs have been
eliminated and contractors are left scrambling for other work, while their
clearances expired in the process. Not a
good position to be in. Also, if you don’t
have a certain type of clearance at the time you apply for the job, you most
likely won’t get it.
For example, the clearance called Top Secret with Secure
Compartmentalized Information and a Full-Lifestyle Polygraph enables you to
work at places like the CIA and the NSA.
I have one step below this clearance and so would have to have my
clearance upgraded to the Lifestyle Poly to qualify for them. It hasn't happened. Why?
Because it takes time and money to run the investigation and upgrade the
clearance. Few contractors seem willing
to do this now, in this slack market, and the Federal government is hamstrung
by its own stupidity in upgrading clearances.
Shortly after 9/11, there was a critical shortage of clearance
holders. Now, you have a glut of
clearance holders, made worse by more stringent hiring practices. And, if you’re trying to apply for a job that
requires a clearance and you don’t have one, you might as well forget it. Again, takes too much time and money to get
it working. The government has
overclassified documents and facilities too much and is now feeling the
pain. Compare this to what the good Mr.
Clarey has said about progressive credentialism. It’s like constipation and impacted
shit. Until the system flushes this out,
it will just hurt more and more as time wears on.
So, the upshot is, especially if you want to work in the
defense sector, make sure to get a job that requires as high a clearance as you
can get. Then, when it’s almost time for
you to get out, start negotiating with contractors (if that’s the route you
want to go, instead of the Federal government) to bump up your clearance if the
job requires it. If you have software
skills, you’ll likely bet a job faster than if you have other skills, since
software engineers are always in high demand.
Whatever you do, DO NOT come out with just training in very specific
Army (or Navy, or Air Force) systems designed by defense contractors. That is, if you just know a system the Army
uses, you’re severely limiting yourself to what jobs a contractor might be
bidding on with the Fed. The contractor,
especially if it’s a smaller one, probably won’t get the contract because the giants
like Lockheed Martin and General Dynamics will have the market sewn up. I wonder sometimes about those dumb-asses who
worked just in radio and microwave who are scrambling for jobs now. When the money was flowing, they could find
work. Not now, I’m sure.
