Thursday, December 03, 2020

When Boomer Cappy Tried to buy Star War's Squadrons

So after finishing my book and shipping it off to the editors, the old Capmeister decided he would treat himself to a video game.  And the one that looked interesting was "Squadrons."  You can fly an X-wing from the cockpit.  There's a solo campaign.  And then you can dogfight online.  Sounds good to me.

So off Cappy goes in his car because he's an old boomer fuck and wants to get out of the house and buy the physical video game.  Wal-Mart had it cheapest according to teh interwebz so Cappy drives there.  And while Wal-Mart did have it the cheapest, it also simply didn't have it.  And so Cappy goes to his reluctant 2nd choice, Game Stop.

Cappy does not like Game Stop.  But they have games.  It's like McDonald's during COVID.  It's bad food for you, but at least they're open and have their shit together.  So Cappy walks in, sees about 4 copies of Squadrons on the shelf, grabs one, and the check out girl says, "we're out of stock."

Cappy is not upset.  Because Cappy knows if push comes to shove, he can always download it to his consoles.  This may shock you to know that Ole Boomer Cappy knows how to do this, but he has done it before.  But even Boomer Cappy knows he needs to have enough room on his hard drive before downloading it.  And so while Cappy is looking up the specs for Squadrons, he finds this article.

After researching some more he finds this article.

And thus, Cappy is done.  I was fully expecting to drop $55 on this video game because I just wanted something to play.  And perhaps my economic spidey senses should have told me there was a reason that within just one month of being out, it's dropped to $23 online.

I'll just fire up the old XBox 360 and play through Battlefield Bad Company 1 and 2 again, and it will be a much more enjoyable experience because at least there isn't gender/race/pronoun politics in those games.  Just fun.


Piroko said...

Cap, you've said before you're into traditional games like RPGs.

Here's something you might not have heard of before. Fantasy Flight has a couple products called "Star Wars Armada" and "Star Wars X-Wing".

They're tabletop games with little micro machines sized minis. Armada does the big ships (star destroyers, rebel cruisers and such), X-Wing does the small ships.

Tony Trucano said...

Reminds me. I tried watching Rogue One, the Star Wars spin-off, for the first time at home. I quit 10 minutes later when I realized every single bad guy was a white male and every hero was a minority/female/someone with a disability.

Anonymous said...

Good job, Cappy. Proud of you. Stop encouraging those degenerates. I am tired of hearing people say, "But I want that game! I want to watch that movie!" If people can't even give up a few hours of entertainment for their principles, what kind of principles are those?

TroperA said...

At this point, gaming journalism only exists to tell you which games you shouldn't buy because they're too woke.

The Great One, Himself said...

If you want to play computer games come join The Great One in Star Wars: The Old Republic. Very little of the "new normal" there. Pronouns are all he or she and match the character's biology (in so much as toons have biology). There are even a few red pill moments. No homosexual characters and a very limited number of bi-sexual characters.

And the Empire is run mostly by white humans.

heresolong said...

You didn't explain the part where they had four copies on the shelf and she told you they were out of stock.

heresolong said...

The best part of the second article might be the claim that what the commenters said was racist but true.

David S. Wholly said...

Like you, I was also looking forward to this game. I got a taste of it playing the X-Wing VR mission in "Star Wars Battlefront" for the PS4.

But I knew there was trouble ahead when I saw the trailer for it. The Empire, usually comprised of white males (a few exceptions, of course. Grand Admiral Thrawn and Admiral Natasi Daala, being the better known ones), now looked like ground zero of a diversity explosion.

The reason is simple. Since "Squadrons" is a multiplayer game, with players having to play both sides, they have to be appealing to all players. Therefore, the Imperials had to become "cool".

And as the new rules say, the only way something can be cool, is if it's diverse. And by "diversity", it means as few white, straight males as possible.

Back in the old days, when the Empire was universally understood as evil, it was perfectly OK to portray them all as white, straight males. Because they have the highest penchant for evil, or so the diversity champions believe. To make something "less evil", you have to diversify it. Weaken the power of evil, so to speak. The Empire is what you get if white, straight males are left unchecked and in charge.

Which brings us back to "Squadrons". Now, the Empire is still "kinda evil", but it's much "cooler" now that it appeals more to the SJW's (who probably don't play these games to begin with).

There's a small, silver lining to this, though. I doubt that they meant to do this, but they've pretty much just acknowledged that women and non-whites can be just as evil, sadistic and tyrannical as white males can be.

All in an effort to look cooler than they actually are.

Anonymous said...

I've found the only way I can really live peacefully now is to stay in the past.

Bill Sturka

Mike said...

I generally do all my game shopping on Steam. Ever since I ditched Windows and switched to Linux my options for games has become more limited. Which is fine since generally the wokest of the woke games lack cross-platform availability and only work on Windows.

I would say that as far as games go, right now the selection of good indie games has never been better.

tdcommenter said... has old discounted games.

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Anonymous said...

I'm so glad my old Super Nintendo still works.

Rob said...

Sometimes finding out what triggers the world of woke leads to pure gaming gold. Play Witcher 3 Wild Hunt - one of the last masculine games around.