Monday, July 28, 2014

Horses Want to Kill Humans

See?  What do I keep telling you about horses!!!!????

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow. He looks good for an 83 year old. Tough old man too.

Goldmund said...

The most true statement I have read all day. I have handled snakes, sharks, spiders, crabs, jellyfish, centipedes...no animal on Earth unnerves me like a horse. You can see it in their bible black eyes, they want to destroy you. Those big giant teeth they bare every few minutes...a warning that they will chomp your face if given the chance. Don't trust em and don't trust women who love them.

Hamilton said...

That's why the damn things are always in horror movies like The Ring. Horror movie directors like to get close ups of the evil eyes and whatnot. Can't really blame them though, if I was a horse I'd kill humans too. Don't fuckin' need em.

Southern Man said...

Yeah, and so do motorcycles. Both are challenging and, once mastered, lots of fun. And nothing melts a girl like putting her on the back of your horse or your bike and taking her for a nice fast ride.

The horse-riding sequences in Star Trek: Generations are there for only one reason: Shatner is a proficient equestrian and loves to ride. Yes, that's him doing all of the horse stunts.

Dr. Coyote said...

The Klingons, Romulans, and even a lizard man with a stone knife didn't do to Capt. Kirk what one damn horse did. Stay away from those things, they are an interstellar threat.

Brett said...

I wish my ex-wife's horse would kill her (NADT)

Anonymous said...

Horses aren't that bad! :-) I've got some horses, I use them for polo and the occasional trail ride. I've been riding for 27 years and have sustained no serious injuries doing it. I suppose something horrible could happen, but so far, they have only been a source of enjoyment in my life.

There is really only one thing you need to know about horses. They are 100% predictable. They aren't that smart. They don't really think, they just react. A good horse will do as they are instructed, unless they are scared or in pain, and then they just move away from what scares or bothers them, and if they can't get away from it, they will try and eliminate it.

Horses are a prey animal. Don't find yourself between a horse and it's path of escape or near it's teeth or hooves if it's being harmed. The best way to do that is to be on it's back or at it's side.

There was a time in this fading republic when men were considered to be a chumps if they didn't know how to ride a horse. These days, it is almost only women that ride, and men are too terrified to control a docile 1000 pound animal! What happened to you pussies?

Jones said...

Again, I offer this sage analysis:
http://theoatmeal.com/story/eat_horses

Also:
http://s3.amazonaws.com/theoatmeal-img/stories/eat_horses/anatomy.png