Never mind that chart behind the curtain.
Enjoy the decline!
Wednesday, September 07, 2011
Blackadder Explains Obama's New $300 Billion "Jobs Plan"
Who knew! Many years ago, the Blackadder comedy troupe would be able to explain Barack Obama's most recent $300 billion jobs plan today!
Let's watch and listen!
Tuesday, September 06, 2011
World's Dumbest Economist
you know, like you know that, like, I gotta pay my rent and like I gotta pay my car loan? It's like, you know, a scam, like you know, that I gotza support myself and like, you know, the world ain't gonna just gizme whatz I wantz. Like you know, I just can't sit here on my ass and expect people to bring me food and build me shelter and give me a free car, you know? It's like a scam.
You know?
Actually, this is very sad. And I shall show you in one simple question;
In the end of her life, when she's sitting there on her death bed at 80 or whatever, do you think she'll realize why her life ended up the way it did? Do you think she's going to enjoy her life? Do you think this one shot she gets, she's going to avail herself of the opportunities life presents to her? Or is she just going to childishly stew in the childish question, "Why do I have to work for a living" and live a hate-filled life that is shallow, unproductive and meaningless?
And I'm not mocking her, I feel genuine pity for her. Yet what's so sad is all it would take for her to answer her own questions and move onto a much better life is to pick up a mouse, start surfing the internet about economics and freedom and become "unignorantized" (I like that word!).
Sadly though, if you're too lazy to pay for your own house, your own food, your own car, or your own children, you're obviously too lazy to pick up a mouse and expend the time it would take to become informed.
Out of pity for her and the brainwashed like her, I shall not say to enjoy the decline. But rather have a moment of silence thinking about the millions of poor souls like her that are condemned to living such angry, hate-filled (and worse) meaningless lives and never being able to understand why.
You know?
Actually, this is very sad. And I shall show you in one simple question;
In the end of her life, when she's sitting there on her death bed at 80 or whatever, do you think she'll realize why her life ended up the way it did? Do you think she's going to enjoy her life? Do you think this one shot she gets, she's going to avail herself of the opportunities life presents to her? Or is she just going to childishly stew in the childish question, "Why do I have to work for a living" and live a hate-filled life that is shallow, unproductive and meaningless?
And I'm not mocking her, I feel genuine pity for her. Yet what's so sad is all it would take for her to answer her own questions and move onto a much better life is to pick up a mouse, start surfing the internet about economics and freedom and become "unignorantized" (I like that word!).
Sadly though, if you're too lazy to pay for your own house, your own food, your own car, or your own children, you're obviously too lazy to pick up a mouse and expend the time it would take to become informed.
Out of pity for her and the brainwashed like her, I shall not say to enjoy the decline. But rather have a moment of silence thinking about the millions of poor souls like her that are condemned to living such angry, hate-filled (and worse) meaningless lives and never being able to understand why.
The Captain Needs a New Motorcycle
The Captain's small, but reliable Ninja 250 is sadly kaput. After putting 33,000 miles on her she suffered a sudden loss in power on the interstate about 60 miles away from home. I had to nurse he back home at about 25 MPH max. What I originally hoped was a dirty carb or perhaps a burnt out spark plug turned out to be a compression issue which isn't worth trouble shooting because it's only a $500 bike now anyway (but I still managed to get greasy and dirty which always helps with the girls...matter of fact, for all the younger male Cappy Cappites out there, but buy some grease and oil and dirty yourself up. You don't even have to be working on anything, you just have to claim you were).
Of course life is a cycle and what is no doubt the end of a chapter in the Captain's life, is also the beginning of a new chapter! And this new chapter in the Captain's life is called,
"Help the Captain Pick Out a New Motorcycle!"
Now, understand I have a black motorcycle jacket, but recently purchased this large patch to go on the back. And not to sound too chicky, but I think I shall spoil myself this time and buy a motorcycle that matches my attire. Ergo, after much searching I have come across the following three bikes and would like your opinions on them (particularly the ladies of course). They are all 600-650cc bikes, all with 5000-6000 miles on them and are all priced around $5,500.
Motorcycle #1
Motorcycle #2
Motorcycle #3
(Legal Disclaimer! - The US Department of Brainwashing and Anti-Fun, FFLF Division, has proven that chicks dig motorcycles and strongly recommends against their use. Studies have shown men with motorcycles don't really have to have any kind of personality, wit, charm, social graces or even money and will STILL get chicks to find them attractive. Side effects of driving motorcycles include;
1. Tons of chicks hanging on you.
2. Cheaper dates because motorcycle rides are cheaper than dinner
3. A sense of freedom and manliness
4. An immediate +4 to your charisma
5. Immediate loss of "nerd" or "loser" status.
6. The ability to outrank investment banker-astronaut-surgeons in terms of attractiveness to the ladies
7. Teen-30something women letting their faux feminist guard down and acting like (GASP) WOMEN!
8. Envy of other women
9. Muchas Smoochas with the ladies that may lead to pre-marital handholding
10. A general admiration and respect from fellow men.
11. The ability to drive REAL fast
12. Looking too Old School American which might trigger impure thoughts of "traditionalism" in the sex roles of men and women and politically incorrect yearnings for the 1950's.
As these symptoms are NOT those of the ideal feminized, sensitive, pansified American "male," all men are highly discouraged from purchasing, owning or riding one of these evil, anti-women, anti-family, anti-commune machines.
Michelle Obama says, "JUST SAY NO!")
Post -Post
Mercy, I knew this would happen.
1. OK, of the THREE PRESENT BECAUSE THEY"RE WITHING REASONABLE DRIVING RANGE which one is the best (remember, I live in the middle of nowhere now. These bikes are "close" at 300 miles because they're in Denver. Nothing in SoDak, Wyoming or Montana. You have to drive to a major city center to get a good bike).
2. No Harleys. Sorry to say this, but they suck ladies and gentlemen. You not only have the honor of spending $30 grand on a bike, but 4 times the amount of human labor hours doing basic repairs. I have a buddy who owns one and mercy, to just change the damn oil you have to pull the engine out. He's had nothing but problems. It's the trophy wife of motorcycles. I do not want an overpriced trophy wife for a motorcycle. The "rice burners" have been very easy to work on. It is why in previous posts I have opined about the demise of the Sturgis Rally. Too many old people with too much money and not a one of them could clean a carb, let alone change oil. There are many parallels between foreign bikes and foreign women. I'll leave you to draw those lines.
Of course life is a cycle and what is no doubt the end of a chapter in the Captain's life, is also the beginning of a new chapter! And this new chapter in the Captain's life is called,
"Help the Captain Pick Out a New Motorcycle!"
Now, understand I have a black motorcycle jacket, but recently purchased this large patch to go on the back. And not to sound too chicky, but I think I shall spoil myself this time and buy a motorcycle that matches my attire. Ergo, after much searching I have come across the following three bikes and would like your opinions on them (particularly the ladies of course). They are all 600-650cc bikes, all with 5000-6000 miles on them and are all priced around $5,500.
Motorcycle #1
Motorcycle #2
Motorcycle #3
(Legal Disclaimer! - The US Department of Brainwashing and Anti-Fun, FFLF Division, has proven that chicks dig motorcycles and strongly recommends against their use. Studies have shown men with motorcycles don't really have to have any kind of personality, wit, charm, social graces or even money and will STILL get chicks to find them attractive. Side effects of driving motorcycles include;
1. Tons of chicks hanging on you.
2. Cheaper dates because motorcycle rides are cheaper than dinner
3. A sense of freedom and manliness
4. An immediate +4 to your charisma
5. Immediate loss of "nerd" or "loser" status.
6. The ability to outrank investment banker-astronaut-surgeons in terms of attractiveness to the ladies
7. Teen-30something women letting their faux feminist guard down and acting like (GASP) WOMEN!
8. Envy of other women
9. Muchas Smoochas with the ladies that may lead to pre-marital handholding
10. A general admiration and respect from fellow men.
11. The ability to drive REAL fast
12. Looking too Old School American which might trigger impure thoughts of "traditionalism" in the sex roles of men and women and politically incorrect yearnings for the 1950's.
As these symptoms are NOT those of the ideal feminized, sensitive, pansified American "male," all men are highly discouraged from purchasing, owning or riding one of these evil, anti-women, anti-family, anti-commune machines.
Michelle Obama says, "JUST SAY NO!")
Post -Post
Mercy, I knew this would happen.
1. OK, of the THREE PRESENT BECAUSE THEY"RE WITHING REASONABLE DRIVING RANGE which one is the best (remember, I live in the middle of nowhere now. These bikes are "close" at 300 miles because they're in Denver. Nothing in SoDak, Wyoming or Montana. You have to drive to a major city center to get a good bike).
2. No Harleys. Sorry to say this, but they suck ladies and gentlemen. You not only have the honor of spending $30 grand on a bike, but 4 times the amount of human labor hours doing basic repairs. I have a buddy who owns one and mercy, to just change the damn oil you have to pull the engine out. He's had nothing but problems. It's the trophy wife of motorcycles. I do not want an overpriced trophy wife for a motorcycle. The "rice burners" have been very easy to work on. It is why in previous posts I have opined about the demise of the Sturgis Rally. Too many old people with too much money and not a one of them could clean a carb, let alone change oil. There are many parallels between foreign bikes and foreign women. I'll leave you to draw those lines.
It's Only Funny...
Until it happens to one of your own.
Then it's hilarious.
Well, at least to those of us third party individuals in the movie theater watching from afar as we enjoy the decline.
If I recall correctly, wasn't there a "confession piece" of sorts by a feminist who ended up having her 13 year old son accused of sexual harassment by a 13 year old girl? And then all of the sudden the religion didn't seem so appetizing.
Eh, whaddya gonna do about it?
Then it's hilarious.
Well, at least to those of us third party individuals in the movie theater watching from afar as we enjoy the decline.
If I recall correctly, wasn't there a "confession piece" of sorts by a feminist who ended up having her 13 year old son accused of sexual harassment by a 13 year old girl? And then all of the sudden the religion didn't seem so appetizing.
Eh, whaddya gonna do about it?
Law of Unintended..Oh Heck, Forget It
I hate the euphemism "unintended conseuqnces" simply because "unintended consequences" means, "we completely ignored, idealistically so, that humans would be self-serving." This is usually the byproduct of some naive pampered government bureaucrat that never lived in the real world and is "shocked, SHOCKED" people would take advantage of the system. Anyway, here's the link.
Monday, September 05, 2011
Sunday, September 04, 2011
You Labor Day Linkage
Haley has her funnier moments.
Death to the programmers of malware and viruses.
A charty goodness review of the housing collapse.
Death to the programmers of malware and viruses.
A charty goodness review of the housing collapse.
Bringing up the future betas so we can make life even more difficult for them in their 20's. (aka Chivalry is not a right, it is earned)
I'm sorry, was there a reason or a calling or let alone any profits or rewards for us guys to "man up?" you'll forgive us if we just keep playing our video games and avoiding families.
Dollar for dollar. Penny for penny, everything must be paid and accounted for in not just economic theory, but law. The laziness of the current three generations is mathematically calculated and manifested in the form of the national debt.
And I get excited when I find an intact jawbone fossil. Other Turkish sheepherders just discover entire ancient cities in their backyards. Lousy sheepherding Turks, with all the good archeological stuff, mocking me and everything, not even trying to find entire ancient cities.
And I get excited when I find an intact jawbone fossil. Other Turkish sheepherders just discover entire ancient cities in their backyards. Lousy sheepherding Turks, with all the good archeological stuff, mocking me and everything, not even trying to find entire ancient cities.
Saturday, September 03, 2011
The Classiest Accountant
Lee Van Cleef, for whom without westerns would not have anywhere near their notoriety they do today, was but a humble accountant. What I like about Lee is that he was an accountant first, and an actor second. Unlike the modern day "actors" who study theater and major in theater, which belies their ulterior motives and arrogance (read - "I don't want a real job, I want to be a superstar"), Lee was just a regular guy who took acting as essentially a hobby. He was a real man who had a real job and supported himself and his wife.
Sadly, today, Hollywood has no such real people-come-actors in their ranks;
Sadly, today, Hollywood has no such real people-come-actors in their ranks;
Sergeant Rumpie
The Captain's newside kick has taken several of the recommended names and combined them into a single official name;
"Sergeant Rumpie"
His full name is "Sergeant Rumpie Fluffalo" but Sergeant Rumpie will be his short handle.
The sergeant and I shall now continue our battle against the evil forces of socialism, while using him to flirt with chicks at the bar.
Friday, September 02, 2011
Further Kicking the Quadrapalegic Dog
Not that I want to beat this drum any further, but how, oh how, with the wisdom of the likes of Dayton, McCallum, Keith Ellingson could this be happening to Minnesota?
I mean, you all voted for hope and change in that state right?
I wish there was a way to trade currencies against states. You could make a fortunate shorting the Minnesota "Loon" against the South Dakotan "Entrepreneur."
Matter of fact, that just might make for some interesting mindless fodder. What would the state's various currencies be based on the qualities of their citizens?
California - The Eeleegal
New York - The Ignorant
Florida - The Forklozure
Illinois - The Korupt
I'm sure there's more, but I'm going to bed.
I mean, you all voted for hope and change in that state right?
I wish there was a way to trade currencies against states. You could make a fortunate shorting the Minnesota "Loon" against the South Dakotan "Entrepreneur."
Matter of fact, that just might make for some interesting mindless fodder. What would the state's various currencies be based on the qualities of their citizens?
California - The Eeleegal
New York - The Ignorant
Florida - The Forklozure
Illinois - The Korupt
I'm sure there's more, but I'm going to bed.
Obama Speech BINGO!
A reader suggested this so I cannot claim to have come up with this idea.
Since nobody has an real incentive to listen to Obama's upcoming jobs speech because it will just be that, a speech, why not make it a fun drinking event?
First gather yourself the following types of booze;
Whiskey
Vodka
Tequila
Gin
Rum
Goldschlager
Jeagermeister
Phillips 100
and of course
Rumpleminze
Each person will get assigned a bottle of booze and an "Obama word." Every time Zero mentions your word you take a belt from the bottle. The following booze-word combinations are such;
"Move this country forward" - Whiskey * just "forward" will also qualify
"Failed Policies of Yesterday" - Vodka * "failed policies" will also qualify
"Progress" - Tequila
"Community" - Gin
"A greater future" - Rum
"Come together" - Goldschlager
"Partisan politics" - Jeagermesiter
"Obstructionist" - Phillips 100
However, we save the Rumpleminze for a special part of the speech.
Anytime Obama says something flowerly about creating jobs, BUT DOES NOT MENTION AN ACTUAL TANGIBLE ACTION THAT WOULD BE TAKEN TO CREATE JOBS everybody takes a swig of the Rumpleminze.
I think most will be dying from acute alcohol poisoning by the end of the speech.
Since nobody has an real incentive to listen to Obama's upcoming jobs speech because it will just be that, a speech, why not make it a fun drinking event?
First gather yourself the following types of booze;
Whiskey
Vodka
Tequila
Gin
Rum
Goldschlager
Jeagermeister
Phillips 100
and of course
Rumpleminze
Each person will get assigned a bottle of booze and an "Obama word." Every time Zero mentions your word you take a belt from the bottle. The following booze-word combinations are such;
"Move this country forward" - Whiskey * just "forward" will also qualify
"Failed Policies of Yesterday" - Vodka * "failed policies" will also qualify
"Progress" - Tequila
"Community" - Gin
"A greater future" - Rum
"Come together" - Goldschlager
"Partisan politics" - Jeagermesiter
"Obstructionist" - Phillips 100
However, we save the Rumpleminze for a special part of the speech.
Anytime Obama says something flowerly about creating jobs, BUT DOES NOT MENTION AN ACTUAL TANGIBLE ACTION THAT WOULD BE TAKEN TO CREATE JOBS everybody takes a swig of the Rumpleminze.
I think most will be dying from acute alcohol poisoning by the end of the speech.
Hadn't Visited Snarks in a While
INteresting, didn't know she was located near the Kaput Gaztot solar firm.
Wait, Wait! Lemme Guess! It's Bush's Fault!
Given today's lousy job report I am going to use my super awesome economic powers to predict the Whitehouse's response, which will coincidentally also be the democrats main running platform for 2012;
This is from Bruce Johnson.
Remember you can send your political cartoons to the Captain at;
CAPTcapitalism (at) yahoo (dot) com
This is from Bruce Johnson.
Remember you can send your political cartoons to the Captain at;
CAPTcapitalism (at) yahoo (dot) com
Thursday, September 01, 2011
Why The Whole Jobs Speech/Republican Debate/NFL Thing is Moot
I've never seen such hubbub about something so irrelevant. And to be intellectually honest, I don't even know why Drudge covered it so.
Do you people really think President Zero is going to say anything relevant or tangible in his "speech" no matter when its held?
Last I recall you all wanted jobs.
That would require action.
He's merely speaking for the 947th time "about" jobs and not doing a damn thing about them.
Ergo, why is anybody complaining when the "president" speaks?
Because the simple question is;
"Why would anybody be listening to him in the first place?"
Does it matter when he "speaks?"
I mean, why not watch the pre-game show or the Republican debate. Go watch Castle or a DVD. It won't matter because your messiah isn't going to do anything tangible, he's merely going to speak.
Let me know when he "does" or "takes action" or "makes a decision." Not just blather on about jobs.
God you idiots that elected him. I still sit here and wonder how you thought this spoiled brat preppy moron would be better than GW, let alone McCain.
Remember that guy? The one who was a Vietnam vet and work his way through life?
No, of course not. He wasn't "hip" or "cool." heck, he didn't have pecks. Besides, the media told you not to like him, so what were you to do? Be independent like you claimed to be and have independent thought? No, you just swoon at pecks.
Thank god I have the unquestionable ignorance of the American people to rely upon when making my dollar shorts on the currency markets.
You incomprehensibly stupid, ignorant morons.
Do you people really think President Zero is going to say anything relevant or tangible in his "speech" no matter when its held?
Last I recall you all wanted jobs.
That would require action.
He's merely speaking for the 947th time "about" jobs and not doing a damn thing about them.
Ergo, why is anybody complaining when the "president" speaks?
Because the simple question is;
"Why would anybody be listening to him in the first place?"
Does it matter when he "speaks?"
I mean, why not watch the pre-game show or the Republican debate. Go watch Castle or a DVD. It won't matter because your messiah isn't going to do anything tangible, he's merely going to speak.
Let me know when he "does" or "takes action" or "makes a decision." Not just blather on about jobs.
God you idiots that elected him. I still sit here and wonder how you thought this spoiled brat preppy moron would be better than GW, let alone McCain.
Remember that guy? The one who was a Vietnam vet and work his way through life?
No, of course not. He wasn't "hip" or "cool." heck, he didn't have pecks. Besides, the media told you not to like him, so what were you to do? Be independent like you claimed to be and have independent thought? No, you just swoon at pecks.
Thank god I have the unquestionable ignorance of the American people to rely upon when making my dollar shorts on the currency markets.
You incomprehensibly stupid, ignorant morons.
Eating Chinese Food, Drinking Jack Daniels and Watching James Bond
Is there any better way to enjoy the decline?
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