Many years ago I worked at the police department on campus to put myself through college where they had this kind of "campus cop" program. There we'd patrol campus, do building security and a whole host of other various security duties, but when Christmas time rolled around the campus was dead. Absolutely nothing going on as all the students had left. Thus you'd be patrolling a graveyard of a campus with absolutely no action to speak of, so we'd come up with songs to stave off the insanity. Songs such as "Zone Patrol"
"It's Zone Patrol
Yeah, zone patrol
Fetch me a scotch and a kaiser roll.
Protect the campus while you take a stroll.
Listen to guys talk of Robert Dole
Just let me outta here, I'll sell ya my soul
Cause it's zone patrol
Yeah, zone patrol."
Other such toe tappin' ditties like "Wilson Gate" "Williams, Nothing More than Williams" and "Check Out Time" were created by many a men on many a patrols. They never went platinum, but they were still popular with the kids.
Regardless, I think it's time for a new song given this latest Jim Dandy chart;
Yeah, recession time
Hey, fetch me a scotch with lemon and lime
Buy me a beer with a quarter and a dime
Listen to dat kid make dem stupid rhymes
Now don't you bitch and don't you wine
Cause it's recession time,
Yeah recession time."
(This was a heavily plagiarized version of the song "Check Out Time")