Saturday, December 31, 2016

What Your New Years Resolution Should Be

A common refrain I hear amongst friends, colleagues, and listeners is just how little TV they're consuming nowadays.  In part this is due to digital media consuming a larger percentage of people's free time.  In part it's due to the increasing average age, and thus maturity, of my social and professional networks.  And in part it's due to the lack of creativity and new ideas coming out of Hollywood.  But the single largest factor for driving people away from the television, even to the extent of getting rid of it is...

the shows are just plain stupid.

Be it the Kardashians, daytime soap operas, reality TV, or cookie cutter sitcoms television is just not intelligent enough to stimulate the intellects of my audience.  And I'm not saying that to kiss up to my audience.  I'm saying it because it's true.  Television today is PAINFULLY stupid to people with above average IQ's.

So riddle me this, riddle me that...

Why are fans sending me articles from tabloids all the time?

At first you may be saying, "Well who is actually sending you articles from TABLOIDS???  Come on, Cappy.  Nobody in your audience is too stupid to do that!"  And you're right, they're not.  But what they are doing is failing to identify the new tabloids of today for what they are, and therefore failing to identify what is truly news versus what is nothing more than clickbait, propaganda, and the lame personal internet diaries of failed leftist millennials.  And everybody who is on the right side of the political spectrum would do well to make it their New Year's resolution to identify it, ignore it, and swear off of it for 2017.

For example, what originally put me onto this was the international shit show that occurred when I penned my Mad Max piece stating I wasn't going to see it because it was advertised as a feminist film.  The world got its communal panties in a bundle which earned me an article at the Daily Mail.  But what I noticed was just how wrong, erroneous, and false the article was about what I wrote.  There was no journalistic integrity whatsoever which led me to discover, after further research, that the Daily Mail was not a legitimate newspaper, but mere a rank tabloid on par with The Enquirer.  Additionally, it's not just the Daily Mail, but nearly ALL the tabloids ignorant Americans forward because we assume (much like their accents) because it's British, then it must be correct and right.

The Sun
The Mirror
The Daily Express
The Sunday Mirror and
The Morning Star

All tabloids, all of which post fake articles like this that are purposely designed to make rightists in the US see red, share the link like wildfire, make it go viral, and make them millions of pounds.

Another example is online American-bred gossip columns that you don't have to be a Benedict Cumberbatch-level Sherlock Holmes to figure out are using leftist politics to drive traffic to their sites.  Joe Soucheray, a local talk show host here in the Twin Cities, did and its writer (Brian Moylan) a huge favor when he not only read their article about "Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer being gay," but ranted about it for a full 45 minutes on his talk show.  Unwittingly he helped this trash go viral, earning Vulture additional advertising dollars and Bryan Molan a healthy commission check.  But before you tisk tisk Mr. Soucheray for falling for such an obvious ploy, how many of you forwarded Gawker, Vice, and Buzzfeed articles this year when all it did was benefit leftists like these human rejects?

And, speaking of human rejects, then there's what I consider "The Internet Diaries of Failed Leftist Millennials."  I realized this was a third form of tabloids we non-leftists suffer while listening to a podcast about one Allison Moon.  The was reading an article from The Other McCain that was highlighting Allison Moon for being nothing more than your average run of the mill feminist.  Nothing new was reported, nothing new was gleaned and all I learned that there was an yet ANOTHER obscure millennial out there whining about white males.  However, it is not so much the sensationalism of the Allison Moons of the world, but that there's so many of them.

How many "articles" have you read from some whinny millennial brat about some insane complaint about the real world, forwarded it to your friends, but can't remember for the life of you the name of the person or what they were complaining about two months later?  I remember an "award winning journalist" in Chicago complaining on her blog that illegal aliens who didn't speak English didn't save up enough for retirement.  Another millennial child complaining about how liberal arts degrees were in fact more difficult than STEM.  There was Polly Dunning, a feminist-turned mom who regretted having a boy.  And how many drama-bitching millennials were writing "articles" or putting together "videos" about the unfairness of Donald Trump getting elected?

The only problem is neither you nor I can remember any of these people because there's a cacophony of them and they get lost in the noise, not to mention the commonness of their whinny, childish, entitled message.  And the only reason I remembered Polly Dunning was because somebody just sent me the link to her article (again, benefiting this attention whore).  But Polly is precisely the person to make my point because who is she?

She's a nobody.  A loser.  A nothing.

She only has 1,300 twitter followers.
A whopping 900 on YouTube.
Majored in english and works in the laughably fake and easy profession of being a teacher.

Why in hell's name would anybody listen to this inexperienced, totally common, totally boring leftist millennial?

The reason why is she successfully got her 15 minutes of internet fame, and you will unlikely ever hear from her again.  But because there's millions of them, we can expect a new Polly Dunning with some form of outlandish millennial leftist dipshittery to grace the headlines and grab our attention.

The truth is Polly Dunning is the epitome of the third form of fake news - "The Failed Millennial Leftist Diary."  Merely one of millions of failed leftist millennials who cannot accept that, even with their precious liberal arts degrees, they are common, boring, and offer nothing of value to the world.  Since they cannot accept this and their ego must be satiated, they go to the internet to journal about their "heroic journey" or "struggle" where they find other sympathetic, self-commiserating failed millennial leftists.  But mere commiseration is not enough, so they resort to increasing levels of sensationalism, brown journalism, and radical story telling to get validation in the form of traffic and likes.  Some, like Polly, get lucky and have one article go viral for 15 minutes of internet fame.  Some get REALLY lucky and get an unpaid job at the Huffington Post.  But they never get more followers, subscribers, or notoriety than a Bernard Chapin, a Robert Stacy McCain, or even myself because their stories and they themselves are unmentionably common.

So my question to all of you is this:

How much time did you and millions of other non-letists waste on these type of stories in 2016?  How many of you forwarded a Daily Mail article, shared a Polly Dunning-like story, or helped make the people at Vulture more profitable by actually believing the gay Rudolph story was real? 

Additionally, how many years did you lower your life expectancy by getting your blood pressure worked up over these fake and irrelevant articles?  How many more minutes of being in a foul mood were you, when you could have been in a happy one?  And did this negatively affect your personal life be it family, friends or your profession, making you angry?  Making you depressed?  Even losing sleep?

And dare I ask how many of you are addicted to this gossip?  Who after decades of leftist media and right wing talk radio have become dependent upon hearing the latest as to how the US is getting screwed in yet another way?

I ask you and fellow non-leftists to promise yourselves a change for the better in 2017.  I ask that you recognize these new tabloids and news stories for what they are - the neo-internet, leftist versions of The Jerry Springer Show.  I ask that you do not forward them, do not read them, do not bother with them and instead spend your time on your family, on your friends, on your loved ones, and on yourselves.  I ask that you use them when it comes mid-term election time as these stories DO indeed help get conservatives elected.  But above all else, for the love of god, if you're going to forward something in 2017, forward this article instead.
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Anonymous said...

The daily Star in the UK is published (and before the fall of the Berlin wall and the disintegration of the Soviet Union) by the Communist party of GB and was heavily subsidised by the USSR.

No a tabloid but a full blown mouthpiece of the CPUSSR ...

Phil B

Post Alley Crackpot said...

My good man, I would never give you news from the likes of "ehT rorriM" or "The G∩ardia∩" ...

I would make sure my freshly rotted fish were delivered to you wrapped in the salmon-coloured newsprint of the Financial Times instead.

What kind of savage do you take me for? :-)

captain chips said...

A Brit here.The Morning Star is a Communist daily paper.I think you must mean the Daily Star which is the most down-market tabloid in the UK. It's even worse than The Sun.

Mutnodjmet said...

Food for thought, indeed. A great piece. Happy 2017.

Anonymous said...

Sometimes I just link a video of World War II actual combat-footage.

It usually doesn't have anything to do with the topic at hand, but it is a swift kick of reality.

Un Americano said...

Simple. Give no fucks about as much as possible. It is pointless to resist the parasites. They must learn the hard way, just as the Venezuelan parasites have learned.

Jim Scrummy said...

I may have looked at the Daily Mail articles for giggles at most 3 times a month. It's gossip trash. Once in awhile I read the this brain twinkies stuff.

In regards to teevee, I hardly watch. I watched about 6 NFL games this year and maybe 4 from start to finish. I may have watched 3 college football games in collectively. Just doesn't interest me. I don't watch network teevee, it's stupid, and has been for a long time. Mostly, I read, and need to do more of it this year. Plus spend a little more quality time at various gun ranges. I also have a few hikes/camping, snowboarding, surfing, and paddle boarding adventures planned with friends and family in 2017. Sitting in front of a box, even a computer, can be a waste of time, which is finite. Get out and play!

Anonymous said...

Good post. For about twenty years I've been that annoying "I don't watch TV" guy but the internet has infiltrated my life for the same crap-off of wasted time, brain-dulling excessive imagery and depression.

So my resolution is to kill the internet out of my life except for planned, balanced use. Surgical, strategic strikes.

Also, the football/sports thing is interesting. I used to be a football nut. I think it helps guys vicariously to satisfy two deep drives; physical vigor and a sense of uniform/logo/color. Ever since I started powerlifting, sprinting and dressing like I'm from the forties, those two drives have been met by my own action. I leave the house uniformed (blazer and tie, good shoes). Football is way less important. I still watch a few games but it's not a mania or one of the pillars of my life like before.

Sports and surfing are time killers.

Sonriendo Sicario said...

But..but..what's the internet good for if you can't use it to work yourself and others into an an emotional frenzy about something?

I mean, if you can't use the internet to spread outrage about trannies, leftists, feminists, Obama, neverTrumpers, Democrats, or something, then what are you supposed to do with it? Watch porn? Or cat videos?

Hell, the internet would be so boring without all of that that...well, you might as well go study engineering or accounting or something. No excitement, sure, but at least they're INTERESTING by comparison. Not to mention you actually realize a return on investment on the time and effort spent studying them.

Sonriendo Sicario said...

Five Reasons You SHOULD Watch Football On Television

1) You are likely a pansy millenial. Watching football will raise your testosterone levels naturally and make you more aggressive.

2) Back in the day they used to have a slogan on the wall in the weight room that your high school football team used. When the going gets tough, the tough get going. Guys who play football live that. You'll pick it up by osmosis watching them play.

3) Look around your town. Successful, aggressive guys like football. You want to talk to guys like this. They can help you. You know football, you have something to talk to them about.

4) Less successful aggressive guys with low IQs like football. You may not want to talk with these guys, but you will find yourself in many situations where you will have to. Talk football to these guys and they will like you, even if you are a nerdy college kid.

5) Football is not as stupid as you think. It is a game of psychology & strategy. If you think it's just throwing a ball around and running into each other, try getting into learning about what is really going on out there on the field, and learning to evaluate teams and players. It's incredibly complex and interesting, and besides you can win money betting on it if you are any good at analyzing it.

TBM said...

There's plenty of good shows on TV, you're just not watching them. Game of thrones, walking dead, breaking bad...A simple search on Netflix or Amazon prime will prove my point.

Anonymous said...

> There's plenty of good shows on TV, you're just not watching them. Game of thrones, walking dead, breaking bad...A simple search on Netflix or Amazon prime will prove my point.

Just because they are popular shows doesn't mean they are good.